The Beautiful Mind of Katherine Pryde: Volume Three
by Kinetically Charmed
Summary: Story told through Kitty's online diary, an interesting peek into her weird mind. Entry twenty five: Baby carrots really would make great projectiles.
1. Welcome Home

The following does not reflect the views or opinions of Marvel or the author known as 'Kinetically Charmed'.

 **Entry number one:  
**

It's been 84 years.

Okay, that's a lie. 6 years. It's been 6 years.

And now I feel like I've made it all anticlimactic, because 6 years sounds super pathetic in light of 84 years.

Whatever, it's been 6 years since I left for England. I swear I can't even believe it myself.

I'll do a quick summary of what happened. Obviously I went for my internship, which you know, and absolutely fell in love. With the whole damn country. I mean, I've never been "into" history, but when you're literally walking down the very same cobble stone streets that Jack the Ripper stalked his victims on, it's hard to resist.

Also, that was probably a pretty poor example I used just then, and I likely sound like a psychopath now, but I'm totally used to it.

My point remains the same; it was just so much. It was all just _so much_. And I felt like 90 days just wasn't enough. I wanted more. I wanted more than this provincial life. I was Belle, guys. I went full on Belle. Minus the castle and the talking plates, but you get the idea.

And then out of _nowhere_ MI:13 offered me a job. They wooed me. They wooed the socks of me. Apparently I was quite the asset with my prior X-men experience, my computer capabilities, and my mutant "skills", so they waved a wad of cash under my nose like Scrooge McDuck, and won me over.

I'm a big fan of money.

I like it. I use it. I have a little. I keep it in a jar on top of my refrigerator.

That was from _The Wedding Singer_ , but it stands true here as well.

I enrolled in training, and finished up my degree part time, online. Which ended up being a massive waste of money, and is to this day, a point of contention with my mother. So try not to bring that up, kay?

So, after my training was complete, I started working for MI:13. Which is way less sexy than you think. It's totally not like James Bond, and there's a lot of paperwork. Like, never ending paperwork. Like if you even _look_ at your gun, you need to file the appropriate paperwork.

And that's where I'm at now. I'm Sandra Bullock in Miss Congeniality amidst a sea of paperwork, and way less ball gowns. Now, don't get me wrong, I love my job. I'm _good_ at my job. But I thought it was high time I took a bit of an extended vacation.

I mean... my therapist thought it was high time I took a bit of an extended vacation, and my employer didn't disagree. Which is to say I'm on a very minor stress leave. It's totally not nearly as awful as it sounds, I didn't have a mental breakdown or anything. I didn't go postal and start waving my gun around the break room, although it wouldn't be the first time that had ever happened. It was mostly just that I've been working there for nearly 6 years now, and I haven't had a real, decent vacation in that entire time. I haven't even been back to America in 4 years. So that's exactly what I decided to do. Come back. I had the perfect motivation too. What better way to de-stress than to help plan a wedding?

Oh, I've got your attention now, don't I?

I mean, we all know how awesome I am at planning things. My planning resume is incredibly extensive. But this time it's personal. This time, I'm the maid of honour, ya'll.

That's right.

The two dumbasses are making it legal.

Trust me, I was just as shocked as you are when Rogue called me and casually let it slip into our conversation, as if she hadn't just blown my effing mind. However, these two do not like to wait, and so their New Year's engagement has resulted in a date set for the middle of March. I don't even know why they picked that date. They both hate the winter, and all things winter related, I think they just wanted to get it over with. Plus, there's a possibility that they have literally no idea what they're doing. I'm not going to rule that one out. Anyway, their impending nuptials were the perfect motivation to take my therapists advice, for once, and go on that damn vacation.

Also he gave me some herbal anti-anxiety pills, which are supposed to help too. It was part of the deal.

Before I jump into catching you up on my last few days, I feel like I need to catch you up to speed on what everyone has been doing over the past six years, so I'll give you the cliffs notes version.

Jubilee is attending culinary school. Apparently after a few years of floundering post high school, she realized that she liked to cook. I like to imagine that she came to this realization after watching Friends and deciding she wanted to be like Monica, but I'm doubtful that that's actually what happened. Like 98% sure. Anyway, it was a surprising move, but good for her. And apparently good for Remy too, because she's been force feeding him all of her creations for the past few years, and we all know how much he enjoys mooching food off of people.

Amara got married, and moved to Idaho. I don't know what is in Idaho, I guess her husband? That seems like a good enough reason to move, I suppose. Tabby and Ray... oh man. They eloped in Atlantic City last year. I don't really know if this was the result of some massive prank gone wrong, or what, but they seem to be sticking with it, so what do I know? The crazy thing is, that's not even the most insane newest development.

Jamie is apparently a genius? I guess all of the crazy stupid things that kid said was just his immense brain bubbling over with untapped potential, because he's a member of MENSA now and he teaches Physics at Berkeley. I don't know, to me he'll always be the kid who thought "gunpoint" was a place that people went, and subsequently kept getting robbed. Like, "they were held at gunpoint", and he legitimately wondered why people kept going there.

You can't make this shit up.

Alex has a girlfriend. Like a real, breathing, legitimate female girlfriend. And apparently she's not a complete moron, although one could argue that she might be a little bit of one if she's willingly dating Alex Summers. I'm just mostly shocked that he's grasped the concept of monogamy. And commitment. Time will tell.

Kurt and Piotr teach at the new school expansion of Xavier's Institute, among some other new faces who have since moved in, which I don't care about enough to mention right now. I mean, this isn't incredibly surprising, Kurt and Pete are clearly the most responsible of the group, if you ignore that whole "Dark Pete mocha phase". Which I try to. Every day. And not taking Scott into account either, because he definitely holds the responsibility crown. He's Miss Responsibility.

Jean and Scott are expecting again. Yup, Jean's vow to never procreate again after her last pregnancy experience only lasted like 5 years, I guess that's how long it takes to forget extreme trauma. She's about 5 1/2 months along, and it must be true what they say about each pregnancy being different, because this one is a complete 180. She looks adorable. Like, she looks like a goddamn model, with this tiny little precious baby bump. They don't know what they're having, but I suspect it's a boy, because she looks the opposite of what she did last time. That seems like sound logic to me. #science.

Illyana is currently working as a flight attendant, because she's so warm and friendly and personable. I couldn't even type that out with a straight face. Last I heard, she was dating someone she met in business class, and they hook up every time he's staying in New York. It sounds super sketchy to me too, guys. Also, he's 45.

And lastly, Bobby. He grew a beard. I hear he thought about getting a cat a few months ago too, but thought better of it when he realized he had to clean out the litter box.

So that about brings you up to speed with everyone, and now we can get back to me, because I'm clearly the most importantly. Duh.

Since this whole trip came together so last minute, I decided to leave it a surprise. Which I knew Rogue would hate. Because she hates surprises, and all things good and decent. But guess what Rogue, life is full of surprises, so get used to it. Plus, this is _clearly_ one of the good surprises.

I had the taxi drop me off at the gate and got buzzed in no problem, which is concerning really, because again, they weren't expecting me. And also, I told them I was a stripper-gram. I dragged my big rolling suitcase all the way up the freshly plowed driveway, trying my best to push back pang of nostalgia that washed over me at the sight of this stupid building. By the time I made it halfway down the driveway I was seriously beginning to regret sending the taxi away for the sake of the stripper-gram joke, and I was realizing that I'd forgotten just how effing cold Bayville was. By the time I made up to the _door_ , after hauling my far-bigger-than-I-realized-suitcase up the stone steps, my hands were frozen solid. Like, I mean, those bitches were _numb_. I managed to knock my fist against the door a few times as I shivered violently in my coat, which was apparently doing absolutely nothing.

Finally the door swung open. And Logan frowned.

"Damn, I asked for a redhead..."

"Gross." I replied with a smile, before he helped me inside, and then wrapped me in a nice warm hug.

"What are you doin' here? The... _thing_ ain't for months."

I pulled back from his hug and quirked an eyebrow as I unzipped my useless ass coat, "The _thing_?"

He rolled his eyes, "The wedding thing." He said the word with a wince and an eye roll, which was incredibly amusing to me. Seriously, it was like he'd said the word _tampon_.

"Yes well, I've come to assist with the _wedding_ _thing_." I smiled, "It's been too long since I visited."

"Kitty!" Kurt called out from the top of the stairs before suddenly appearing in a plume of ass-smelling smoke right in front of me, "What are you doing here?! Is everything alright?! It's so good to see you!" He said all at once, before wrapping his fuzzy blue arms around me and pulling me in for a hug.

"Everything is _fine_ -"

"You know the wedding is not until March, right?" He asked, pulling back to give me that look of concern, that perhaps I'd gotten my dates mixed up.

"Yeah. I know." I know how to read a calendar, guys. "Just, thought I could use some time off to unwind."

Kurt took my coat and his grin widened, "It is so good to see you-"

"Where's the stripper?" Bobby asked as he hurried down the stairs, breathing heavily as if he'd legitimately _run_ to see this stripper, as if stripper-grams were even a real thing. His eyes fell on me and he visibly deflated a little bit. Not everyone thinks _it's so good to see me_.

"Nice beard." I nodded pointedly to the bushel of hair growing off his face, "Finally came in for you, did it?"

He gave me a half smile and rubbed his hand through his facial hair, "Bitches love beards."

"I'll _try_ to keep my hands off of you." I smirked and Bobby gave me a frown.

"Don't mock the power of the beard."

Logan snorted in amusement and instructed Bobby and Kurt to take my things to the guest room. I wanted to tell them they didn't need to worry about doing that for me, but I was pretty tired, and didn't really want to do it myself, so I let them. This is part of my de-stressing system. Taking help when it's offered.

"It's so quiet, where is everyone?" I asked once Kurt and Bobby were gone, rubbing my hands together furiously in a vain attempt to regain the feeling in my fingers, "I expected more... kids. This place is a school, right? Also, your security is shit."

The corner of Logan's mouth quirked up and he rolled his eyes, "The security ain't shit, we have this new AI technology, facial recognition. Got it from a buddy of mine."

"You have friends?"

"And it's quiet because it's 11:00 on a school day." He continued, ignoring my little jab at his social life. "People are either workin' or learning."

"Right." I nodded, realizing that I hadn't taken the time or day into account. It's so weird to think of people actually _working_ around here. "And where are we going?"

"Rec room. Got a fire on, figured you'd wanna warm up." He said with a shrug, as if it should have been obvious to me.

"Why do you have a fire on if everyone's working?"

"Because some of us are (vulgar word for kitten)s and can't handle a little bit of cold weather." He replied loudly, which was obviously not for my benefit, and when we stepped into the rec room, I grinned at the sight of Remy furiously trying to warm his hands by the fireplace, and Rogue casually lounging on the couch behind him as she idly flipped through a magazine that I _know_ she had zero interest in.

"Don't give me that shit, it's f***ing cold outside. I f***ing hate snow. Can't we just get Stormy to shoot a gust of wind down the driveway to clear it off?" He grumbled, shooting a glance towards Logan from over his shoulder. When his eyes settled on me, I saw no surprise there. Just a quick once over and a snort.

"She's here."

"Have fun." Logan grinned at Remy's icy reception before turning around and disappearing down the hall.

Rogue dropped her magazine and sat up, giving me a little half smile, "Hey! How was your flight?"

My shoulder slumped and I sighed, "You're not surprised at all! How did you know I was coming?!"

She tossed the the magazine onto the coffee table and gave me a shrug, "Doug called about an hour ago to see if you were here yet."

Dammit Douglas! I told you I would call when I got here! I'm cutting you out of my will.

"Besides, you _know_ I hate surprises, Kitty."

"Well duh, that was the point." I mean really, if I can't pester her in some way, what's the point of _living_?

"What are you doing here anyway the wedding's weeks away." Remy said, without even bothering to turn and look at me when he spoke.

"I'm on vacation." I replied with an eye roll, because again guys, I can read an effing calendar, okay?

"Shit. Fire your travel agent, petite." He snorted, giving his head a little shake. "Who the f*** plans on traveling to the centre of the arctic circle in January?"

"I'm here to help plan _your_ wedding. So, you're welcome."

He scoffed and looked back at me, "We don't need your help-"

"You shut your whore mouth, Gambit." Rogue cut him off, giving me a wide eyed look of hope, "Is that _true_? Are you really here to help?!"

"Of course I am! For the next two months, I am at your disposal. Your wish is my command." I grinned as I crossed the room to flop down next to Rogue on the couch with a little extra flourish, "I will be the best maid of honour who ever... maided."

"Oh thank _God_." She let out a deep breath, "Because I have absolutely no idea what I'm doin'."

"I figured."

Remy scoffed, "It's not that hard. It's a party. _Tabby and Ray_ figured it out, I'm pretty sure we can figure it out too."

I rolled my eyes, "That's totally not the same, they eloped. There was _no_ planning involved there."

Like, zero planning, and a shit load of tequila, I'm assuming.

Rogue snorted, leaning back into the couch, "So how the hell did you manage to swing a two month vacation, I thought you were indispensable?"

"I had a lot of vacation time saved up." I lied with a wave of my hand, because I seriously didn't want everyone making a big deal out of nothing. "Anyway, it doesn't matter, because I came to help plan your wedding. And by help, I mean do it all, obviously."

"Obviously."

"You can't just assume that you're going to waltz in here and take over the entire thing." Remy turned to narrow his eyes at me, "Maybe I already made plans, hmm? We booked the... place. The hall place. An' we set the date. We don't need you."

"Seriously? With the hostility?" I frowned at him, "What gives?"

"You don't visit, you hurt his feelings." Rogue bit down on her lip to suppress her smile when Remy shot her an icy glare.

"Alright, you're annoyed that I haven't been back to visit in a while. I'm _sorry_. Okay?" I sighed with an eye roll, which caused Rogue to bite down on her lip even harder, "But I'm here _now_."

"Yeah, and now that you're back, you better not be coming at me with all your drama, because I've got enough of my precious time being wasted on Jubilee and Alex's crap. Not to mention Dazzler."

"...huh?" Seriously, what the hell is a dazzler?

"Oh, he's been trying to find a replacement for you." Rogue supplied with a smile directed at the back of Remy's head, "Apparently he feels like he needs an annoying little sidekick, so he's been sort of floating around looking for Kitty 2.0."

I am totally not the sidekick and I'm _definitely_ not annoying. And hello, I am absolutely _not_ replaceable. I'm irreplaceable. I'm Beyoncé.

"I don't _need_ anything." Remy dropped his hands and turned around to frown at Rogue, "I can't help it if all these desperate girls-" he sighed and shook his head, obviously remembering Alex, "- _people_ , keep latching onto me."

I rolled my eyes over to Rogue and deadpanned, "Yeah, you just exude so much testosterone that we can't resist."

Rogue snorted out a laugh and Remy worked the muscles in his jaw with an irritated frown. "I did _not_ miss this, at all."

"Liar." I grinned, and he clenched his jaw some more before grumbling about needing to finish clearing the snow from the walkways out front.

"That was so much fun." Rogue smiled at me. "Don't take it personally; you're just triggering some of his abandonment issues."

"Alright, I need to see the ring." I held my hand out, trying to change the subject from Remy's less than stellar welcoming, waiting for her to show off the rock.

Most women would be so excited for this, but Rogue just made a face and begrudgingly obliged. "I don't get what the fuss is all about."

"It's a girl thing, you wouldn't understand." I explained as I inspected her ring. It was just a simple platinum 1 karat solitaire diamond ring, but it was beautiful, and it was perfect for Rogue. Knowing her, she likely didn't even want a diamond, and knowing Remy, he wasn't having any of that. So this seemed like a nice compromise. One diamond, no bells or whistles.

"You never told me how he popped the question. I want to hear all the details. Was he sober this time? Were _you_?"

" _Yes_." She rolled her eyes at my question, even though I was totally justified in making sure, "It wasn't anything special, really. New Year's morning, we woke up and you know, messed around a bit."

"Of course." I've gotten used to it over the years. Details about Rogue and Remy's sex life no longer shocks me, sadly.

"And then afterwards, we were just kinda talking, and he looked over at me all quiet... and just said, _I wanna marry you._ He looked so _intense_ , I knew he wasn't f***ing with me. And when he said it... it felt right. I felt like I wanted to marry him too." She shrugged, "So I said _okay_."

I guess I just expected something more grandiose and romantic from Gambit, like a massive choreographed number in the middle of a busy mall, or something equally as terrible, but this just seemed so fittingly them. Simple, no bullshit, just right down to the point.

I pressed my lips together in a smile and tried my hardest not to _awww_ because I knew Rogue would stop talking to me if I did that, but I'm sure my eyes conveyed the message to her.

"Don't go all gooey on me, it wasn't a big deal. It's literally just a piece of paper, which proves to the government that we're family."

I bit my lip because she was making the _awww_ harder to suppress. These two little orphans found each other, and now they're _family_.

"He didn't even have a ring, it was spontaneous. We picked this one out on Amazon, together. I have Prime."

Again, fittingly _them_.

"You look really happy." I managed to say without sounding too emotional, and the corner of Rogue's mouth twitched up and she nodded.

"I am." She shot out a breath and slapped her hands down on her knees with a note of finality, "Alright, enough of this sappy shit. You need to see the new school wing."

When Rogue says _new_ she's using the term very loosely. It's been up and running for 4 years now, with the kids who attend boarding here at the Institute.

I gave her an excited little grin, because I've been dying to see these fancy new classrooms in person since my last visit, when they were just starting the construction process. We made our way through the manor, and Rogue started filling me in on the classes she "teaches", and I'm using that word very liberally, because she's not technically a teacher. She's more or less a glorified sub, who sometimes gets stuck with extra classes. And this is absolutely hilarious to me, because Rogue hates kids. We walked down the quiet hallway of classrooms and Rogue came to a stop at one of the doors, pushing it open for me to see inside.

It was smaller than the classrooms I remember seeing in school, but it was much more rich and lush looking. There was a large mahogany desk at the front of the class with a dozen smaller desks pointed towards it, and some musical instruments stored neatly in the back. Also, I have no idea if the big desk is mahogany. I'm going based on what Effie Trinket has taught me; mahogany is expensive. I don't know wood, guys.

"This is the music, slash art, slash social studies room." Rogue explained, "I'm doing the social studies class this semester, because the last guy quit."

"Fancy!" I grinned, and she stepped inside the class, moving over to the large desk at the front.

"Yeah, it's okay. I prefer teaching combat in the Danger Room." She shrugged, "I'm definitely not cut out for this _real_ teaching crap."

"Well, in the Danger Room, you can knock someone out when they're not paying attention, and nobody bats an eyelash. Up here, it's probably more discouraged."

"It is frowned upon." She nodded, leaning against the desk and crossing her arms with a smile.

There was a knock on the open door behind me and Warren Worthington III stopped in the doorway, "Hey, Rogue. I'm glad I caught you. I wanted to ask if you could fill in for me on Tuesday."

She sighed and gave her eyes a massive roll, "Fine."

Warren gave her a grateful half smile and then turned his eyes to me, "Sorry, I didn't mean to be rude. I'm Warren."

Yep. I know who you are. We've met. Like, at least 5 times now, dude. And every single time, he forgets who I am. I swear.

I shook his hand none-the-less and put on a polite smile, "Kitty."

"Oh!" Recognition suddenly flickered to life behind his eyes and he snapped his fingers, "Wisdom's girlfriend!"

"Ex." Rogue supplied helpfully from behind me, "Ex-girlfriend."

Thanks, bro.

"That's what it says on my driver's license. _"_

Okay so Wisdom and I dated for a while, and then parted ways amicably over a year ago, and we're still friendly. I hesitate to use the word friends, because we also work together, and often times I feel like I could strangle him with my bare hands because of his... methods, but we are definitely on good terms. There's no bad blood there.

But still, okay? Salt in the wound, guys.

I think Warren could pick up on his little faux pas because he at least had the decency to look a little sheepish when he smiled at my slightly sarcastic response, "It's good to see you again."

Yeah sure, you say that every time.

"Alright, what's your stupid lesson plan?" Rogue said, gesturing to the file Warren had tucked under his arm and beckoning him closer, "Kitty, go... entertain yourself. We'll be done in a minute."

I gave her a nod, and slipped past Warren with a polite little wave, before I slowly started down the hallway. I stuffed my hands in my pockets as I sauntered past the shut doors, peeking in through the small doorway windows as I went. I passed Storm's classroom, pausing for a second to watch her teach with an animated wave of her arms which caused the students to giggle amongst themselves, before continuing on to the classroom across the hall.

I peered in through the window, coming to an abrupt stop, absolutely unable to stop the grin that stretched across my face as I leaned against the doorjamb. There he was, writing something on the blackboard with some chalk dust on the side of his slate grey pressed slacks and the sleeves of his navy dress shirt rolled up to his elbows, looking every bit the part of a teacher.

A _teacher_.

Sometimes I have these moments when I suddenly feel really grown up. Like it just hits me, out of nowhere I realize that I am not a 16 year old anymore, and I'm old. This was one of these times. Seeing Pete, wearing a tie and teaching a class of 14 year old kids. My eyes scanned over the kids in the class as they copied down the notes Piotr wrote on the board as quickly as their little hands could take them, and took note of a few empty chairs just inside the doorway.

I didn't even give it a second thought, I just phased myself right inside that classroom and quietly plunked down in the nearest seat, and nobody even spared me a glance, apparently too engrossed in their note-taking to care.

He was talking about the Revolutionary War, writing something about who the war was between along with some important dates, and I just sat there in the desk, with my chin propped up on my fist and a stupid goofy grin on my face. I just couldn't help it. He was such a natural teacher, it was a side of him that I never had the chance to see, and dammit, I was _proud_ of him!

"I want you all to remember these dates, because they _will_ be on the test, I am giving you fair warning." He said before dropping the chalk back down, dusting his hands off, and plucking a text book up off his desk. With the text flipped open he turned around to grin at the class, "And page 208 has-"

He stopped speaking the moment he noticed me, still sitting there looking completely enraptured in his lesson, pleased as punch with the look of shock on his face. See, Rogue? _This_ is the surprised reaction I was looking for. He blinked a few times, his mouth slightly agape, before finally saying,

"... You're not in England."

I pressed my lips together to suppress the snort laugh bubbling up inside of me, and I suddenly felt all eyes in the room on me.

"Wait, really?!" My eyes widened and I shook my head, "Shit... That means I've been driving on the wrong side of the road all day!"

The kids giggled and whispered and Piotr gave his head a shake, "Um, okay... uh-" He snapped the text book shut and cleared his throat, "Hi."

The class giggled some more, and Pete rubbed the back of his neck, "You caught me off guard."

"That _was_ the idea." I smiled.

He turned to address the class again and gestured towards me, "Everyone, this is Kitty... Pryde. Ms. Pryde?" He knit his brow questioningly at me, as if I was supposed to know what these kids should call me, and then gave his head a quick shake, "She is my... friend."

" _Friend_?" One little pre-pubescent girl commented with a snicker which caused the surrounding group of girls to join in.

"A former member of the _team_." Piotr clarified further, giving the girl a pointed look.

"She swore!" Another girl supplied, and he held his hand up with a nod in an attempt to stop from losing complete control of the group.

"I will be sure to introduce Ms. Pryde to the swear jar later." He said with an eye roll, which gained him a few more laughs. "For now, I want you all to turn to Chapter 12 and begin reading."

Then he looked at me and inclined his head towards the door.

"There's a _swear jar_?" I asked as I stood up and started for the hallway, with him a step behind me.

"Mr. _Gambit_ has trouble censoring himself."

I'm not sure why I was surprised. I shouldn't have been, really.

We stepped out into the hall and I pressed my lips into a frown, "I'm really sorry for disrupting your whole class, I didn't even _think_ , I just saw you and..." I shrugged, flicking my hand towards the door, "I wanted to hear you teaching, and you looked so cute with your little tie..." I trailed off again and reached out to give the tie a playful little tug, "My brain was on a thirty second delay. I'm sorry-"

" _Stop it._ " He interrupted with a smile, "You don't need to apologize. But I am going to have to get $2 for that swear jar."

"Geeze, _shit_ is a $2 word? I'd better learn to control myself or I'm gunna go broke."

"That's the idea." He smiled, before giving me a once over as if he still wasn't entirely sure I was actually standing in front of him. He blinked and gave his head a shake, and then pulled me in for a hug, "I can't believe you did not tell anyone you were coming, what are you doing back? Is everything alright?"

"Everything's fine." I hugged him back for a moment and then pulled away to smile up at him, "I came to help Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dumbass plan their wedding."

"That is probably not a bad idea."

I smirked, "I didn't realize you _cared_ so much."

"I _don't_ , but they set the date ridiculously soon, and then I think they assumed that everything would just magically fall into place. Rogue sent out e-mail invitations to _everyone_ on their contact lists and she has no idea how many people are actually going to show up. It could definitely be a disaster."

I was aware of the e-mail invitation chain. Super classy Rogue. I feel like that's going to come back and bite her in the ass later.

"Normally I would be fine with letting them learn their lesson the hard way," Pete continued with a sigh, "But I _am_ the best man, and technically it's a little bit of my responsibility."

"Nu uh, your only responsibility is planning the bachelor party, and making sure Remy is sober for the wedding. That's basically it." I crossed my arms, "I am the maid of honour, and it's my duty to be the co-planner. Plus, I know they've been _trying_ to plan, Rogue keeps sending me pictures of random wedding things, but you know, her taste is questionable at best."

"And you _do_ like to help." He said with a wry little grin, and I gave his arm a swat.

"If I left it up to them, they'd probably get Hooters to cater."

"I can get them to cater the bachelor party, too. They might have a package deal."

I snorted out a very unattractive laugh and shook my head, "I bet you could find a few strippers there too."

He let out a deep belly laugh, "For the last time, they are not _strippers!_ That is their uniform, Katya, they don't take it off."

I crossed my arms and raised a skeptical brow, "Uh huh..."

"We have _got_ to take you to a Hooters."

" _As if_. I don't need to see naked ladies serving chicken wings."

He shook his head at me with a smirk, "You are impossible."

"Yeah, whatever." I rolled my eyes with a little grin and tossed my hand towards the door, "Shouldn't you be getting back to... molding young minds or what have you?"

His smirk grew and he nodded, "I should. They are not going to mold themselves."

I'm embarrassed to admit that I giggled, but I totally did. Like an idiot.

"We will catch up later." I nodded in return and watched as he twisted the doorknob before looking back at me from over his shoulder with a smile, "Welcome home, Katya."

Welcome home indeed.

* * *

 _ **A/N- Hey all ya'll! My Kitty free time was short lived, and I now have 10 and a half chapters of this puppy already completed. I've been a busy bee.  
Anyway, as promised, it's May, and here is your new and final installment of the blog.  
Please don't hate that I time jumped, and please don't hate that Excalibur isn't a thing, because I'm not gunna lie, it confuses the hell out of me. Too much stuff. Also why are they named after a fictional sword? I decided to just leave Kitty with M:13, because I'd like to think that there aren't mutant vigilante groups like... everywhere. I've always felt like the Evo universe is the least complex of all the X-men worlds, so lets keep it simple, hmm?**_

 _ **Anyway, as stated, I have 10 chapters already, so you can expect weekly updates, barring some unforeseen circumstances.**_

 _ **As always, please leave your feedback, because it truly does motivate me, and maybe if you guys motivate me enough I can start posting twice a week. #bribery**_


	2. Let the planning begin!

The following does not reflect the views or opinions of Marvel or the author known as 'Kinetically Charmed'.

 **Entry number two:**

I jumped right into the planning gig with both feet.

After the whole "obligatory welcome home dinner", where Professor X had Jubilee plan this big special meal for me, and everyone gushed over how great it was to see me again.

It was really nice, I'm not gunna lie. I've always enjoyed being the center of attention when it's for something good, and not for something stupid I've said.

Anyway, it was fun to catch up with everyone, and to hear all about Tabby and Ray's adventures in newlywed bliss. Actually it was more disturbing than anything to hear about the newlywed bliss thing. Honestly you guys, I have no idea why they're married. It's so confusing, and it hurts my head to think about too much.

I met Warren again, who surprisingly hadn't forgotten me already, and the new music teacher, a cute bubbly little blond named Alison something. And it was honestly incredibly weird to _not_ have Alex sitting there trying to hit that. He's totally sticking with this girlfriend thing apparently, which I will totally believe once I have seen her in the flesh

I went to bed relatively early last night, in an attempt to ease my jet lag, and still somehow managed to sleep in today. Apparently I was exhausted. Maybe my therapist was onto something after all. Or maybe traveling just sucks. Either way, when I woke up, I wasted no time getting right down to the nitty gritty, bound and determined to get right to it.

I made my way down the kitchen, which was of course, absolutely bustling with activity. Of all the things I did not miss about this place, this would be number one.

"Morning!" Kurt beamed at me with Pop Tart stuck in his teeth, "Did you sleep well?"

"Like a baby." I replied absently as I flipped through wedding websites on my phone.

"That saying is incredibly misleading." Scott piped up from his spot at the table with a cup of coffee halfway to his mouth, "And I resent it."

Jean nodded in agreement as she rubbed her swollen belly, her eyes glazed over slightly as she likely remembered what she was in for.

"Yeah, we all _remember_." Bobby muttered, and Alex nodded along with him before ruffling little Rachel Summers' red hair.

"Sorry little Grom, but you had some _mad_ pipes."

She giggled into her bowl of cereal, her face flushing under the attention.

"Don't listen to him, kid. You were way less annoying than he was." I smirked at her playfully, which only caused her face to go a deeper shade of red.

"Whatcha doin' there?" Kurt asked, and I turned to see him cocking his head to sneak a peek at the website opened up on my phone.

"Wedding invitations." I explained, "I'm trying to do a bit of damage control on the whole mass wedding e-vite."

"It's so great that you came all the way here to help them plan their wedding." Jean smiled at me as she nibbled on a spoonful of grapefruit. "You did such a fantastic job on ours, didn't she Scott?"

He shrugged and nodded, pretending to give a crap, and I grinned back at her.

"Well, what can I say, I'm a help whor-" I glanced at Rachel and my eyes widened slightly. "-se. I'm a help horse."

Logan snorted into his cup of coffee, "Nice save."

I can't afford to keep putting cash in the swear jar, I really need to watch it.

"Anyone know where Rogue is?" I asked, turning my attention back to the wedding invitations on my phone.

"She and Remy are in the rec room, they eat breakfast early to avoid crowding." Jean explained.

"They like their _privacy_." Bobby made a face, and I had to agree. Really guys, if you want privacy, go to your room. Not the damn rec room. The _public_ rec room. I grabbed a banana out of the fruit basket and escaped the insanity in the kitchen, making my way down to the rec room to find the stupid lovebirds canoodling on the couch.

"Okay! Planning time!" I announced, and Remy dropped his head back dramatically groaning. I rounded the couch and wormed my way between the two of them, forcing Remy to move aside, lest I wind up on his lap. And trust me, he didn't want that.

"I have so many ideas." I began, turning my back to the grump and giving Rogue a smile, "But first things first. We need to send out some new invitations."

"Ugh." She rolled her eyes, "I already took care of it!"

"Honey, no." I relied plainly, "This is a wedding, not a... retirement party or something. You can't just CC everyone. We need a headcount. We need RSVP's."

She dropped her head back and sighed at the ceiling like Remy, "So much _work_..."

"Right, well I've already picked out a few options for you. We can do an online printing company, they'll print the invites for you and then we just mail them out. Or, if you're super married to the e-vite idea-" I glanced back at Remy with a smirk, "-Pun intended-" He simply sniffed out a laugh, "Then I found this website that does actual legit e-mail wedding invitations."

"Yes. That. The second one." Rogue nodded enthusiastically.

I sighed, because I really didn't want for her to go with the e-vite option, but it's her damn wedding so I'm going to pick my battles, and gave my head a shake, "Okay, fine. But you and Gambit need to actually make a list. Of people you _actually_ want to invite. You can't just invite _everyone_. You sent one of those stupid e-mails your old Genetics teacher, Rogue. That guy was arrested for cooking meth with a former student two years ago, you don't want psycho Walter White guy coming to your wedding."

"Fine." She begrudgingly agreed with a frown.

"Good. Okay, so that's done." I slapped my hand on my knee and pressed my lips together, "I should get a notebook or something... we need something to store all these plans in. Ooh, a binder! I could decorate it and get those transparent sheet protectors, and cut out pictures from magazines that we like-"

"Calm down." Remy said from behind me and I clamped my mouth shut with a nod in an attempt to tamp my excitement. I let out a breath and nodded again once I had myself in check.

"Right. So I know that you guys don't care about colour schemes and flowers and crap, but generally, these things are kind of important. So at least give me an idea of colours you like."

"Black." Remy answered.

"Not green." Rogue said with a frown, "F***ing green."

"Red."

"I like purple." Rogue shrugged, "Dark purple. None of this lavender shit."

"What's wrong with green?" Remy frowned, "I like green."

"Alright so _purple_." I rolled my eyes at Remy, "And black, I guess. F***ing Addams Family wedding, but whatever."

He gave me a pleased, shit eating grin and I rolled my eyes back to Rogue, "We need to get a start on finding wedding attire, since these things need to be fitted, which generally takes time."

Rogue groaned, " _Fine_..."

"Also, I'll need to know who's in the wedding party." I pointed at Rogue and Remy shook his head,

"We're not supposed to refer to it as _a party_."

"No. Idiot. The wedding party. The people standing up with you." I shook my head and looked back at Rogue, "Obviously _me_ , the single most important person in your life."

"Obviously." Rogue smirked, "You, Pete, Kurt and Remy's brother Henri. Kurt's gunna be one of my bridesmaids."

Of course he is.

"I'm already on it anyway." Remy gave me a firm nod, "Jubes is takin' me, Pete and Kurt out tux shopping tomorrow. Henri is just gunna wear something he's already got."

I closed my eyes and let out a breath muttering, "So many issues with that sentence..." I pinched the bridge of my nose before looking up at him with a frown, "First of all, Henri has to match. You'll call him. Find out his measurements at the very least, but good God, this is a wedding. You all have to _match_."

Remy scowled at me but didn't argue, so I continued.

"Secondly, _t_ _ux_ shopping. Jubilee is taking you shopping. For a tuxedo."

"Yeah, I want one with tails." He pressed his lips together thoughtfully, "And maybe a top hat, I haven't decided yet."

"Are you f***ing with me right now?" I narrowed my eyes at him, "Is this part of your Kitty Hatred campaign, because you're totally not getting a tux."

"Believe it or not, but not everything I do is about you." He quirked a brow at me and frowned, "I _like_ tuxedos."

"Remy. Tuxedo's are expensive-"

"So?"

"-And you're not friggin _James Bond_ , and you will literally get one use out of it. But a nice, well tailored suit... you can wear again and again, and they're incredibly sexy. Trust me."

" _That's_ what you saw in Wisdom." He snapped his fingers as if he'd just made a revolution, and I worked the muscles in my jaw as I reminded myself not to slap him.

"I'm not letting you buy a tuxedo and top hat."

"You aren't the boss of me, Kitty." He clipped, there's a chance he's been spending too much time with Rachel, "I can do whatever the f*** I want."

"Rogue, back me up here."

She snorted, "Hey, it's his stupid head. He can wear his dumb ass face sock to the wedding for all I care, _he's_ the one that'll look like a jackass."

Remy looked slightly offended at the face sock jab and leaned forward to give Rogue a frown, "Maybe I'll just get a _lavender tuxedo_ , then."

"Stop it. You're being a baby." I snapped at him.

"You're just jealous because I don't need your help." He leaned back in the couch and raised his eyebrow at me.

" _Clearly_ , you do."

"I don't _want_ your help." He retorted and I frowned at him.

"Well too bad! Because you're getting it! And I'm _coming_ suit shopping with you tomorrow."

"I wouldn't f*** with her, Remy. She's got a license to kill." Rogue smirked.

I mean, I don't. I'm not James Bond either. But I wasn't about to correct Rogue, when she was backing me up, in her own unique way.

"Don't even get me started on that shit. Who the f*** would trust her with a gun, she's unstable. She drove a car at me!"

"Uhh, I saved your _life_ with that car, and that was like, 10 years ago. Let it go, already."

He narrowed his eyes dangerously at me as he let out a few soothing breaths, "You're _not_ coming, tomorrow."

I scoffed again, "I totally am. _You're_ not the boss of _me_."

Rogue let out a groan, "I'm regretting so many life decisions right now. Look Remy, Kitty just wants to help, so shut your mouth and let the girl help. And Kitty, this is Remy's party, and if he wants to show up bare ass naked, that's his choice. Got it?!" She barked, glaring at the two of us for a moment. When neither of us replied she took that as a _yes_. "Now kiss and make up."

Both Remy and I voiced our disgust and I stood up and marched my way out of the room. I'd had quite enough of Remy's petulant attitude for one day, and I was in desperate need of some back up.

So I did what comes as naturally as breathing to me, I went to Pete to complain.

I made my way up to his room, and knocked on his door as I considered how insane I was being. I mean really. I can't just _assume_ people are going to be able to drop whatever the hell it is they're doing, even if it is Piotr. However, before I could change my mind, the door swung open, and Pete's eyebrows perked up in shock.

"Katya?"

"Hey." I replied stupidly, stuffing my hands into the back pockets of my jeans, "I have a favour to ask you. I'll keep it quick, I know you're getting ready for class-"

"I am just marking papers." He cut me off and pulled the door open for me to see the mess of papers on his desk, "My first class is not until 9. Come on in."

He moved out of the way and let me enter the room, shutting the door behind me as I crossed over to his bed to take a seat.

"Sorry for barging in on you like this-"

"Stop apologizing." He cut me off, moving over to his desk to take a seat and resume his marking with a smirk, "You never used to apologize for barging in."

I smiled, "Yeah, but that doesn't make it right."

"What is your favour?" He smiled, glancing up at me momentarily.

"I need you to invite me along on your little shopping outing with _Jubilee_ tomorrow." I said, and I might have possibly sneered her name ever so slightly.

"Someone sounds jealous."

I scoffed at his implication and rolled my eyes at the absurdity of it, "I'm _not_ jealous. I am a concerned friend. I like Jubilee, but she has terrible taste in clothes. Seriously, she's been wearing the same God awful yellow jacket for 15 years, and Remy wants to buy a tuxedo with tails and a top hat. She'll let him do it. Please, just insist I come along. _Please_.

Pete turned in his chair with a laugh and held up a hand, "Alright, calm down. I will _insist_ you come along. But I am going to need a favour from you."

I crossed my arms and quirked a brow with a little half grin, "What kind of favour?"

"I will insist you come along tomorrow, if you help me grade these papers." He said with a nod, tossing me a pile of the papers and a red pen without waiting for a response. "I hate grading papers."

I laughed, "Yeah okay. But you do realize that I know nothing about history, right? Like, unless it was covered during an episode of Drunk History, then I'm screwed."

"It is multiple choice." He smirked back at me, pointing at the paper on the top of the stack, "The answer sheet is right there."

"Can I draw happy faces next to the good grades?" I asked, uncapping the red pen with a grin.

"Go nuts."

I smiled, happily getting started on marking tests quietly for a few minutes, before eventually breaking the silence with a sigh, "So, how's Illyana? Still tormenting the skies with her sunny attitude?"

"Always." He turned in his seat to smile at me, "She and the middle-aged businessman broke up."

"Shocker. What happened?"

He closed his eyes and shook his head, "Apparently his wife found out."

"Totally called it!" I pointed at him with the tip of my red pen with a laugh, "Damn, I should have put money on it... did Illyana know he was married?"

"Of course." He sighed and gave his eyes a roll, "Apparently she did not see it as a problem. Now she is dating a professional Parquor artist. Whatever that is."

"Wow, one extreme to the other, huh?" I winced, "Married?"

"Who knows." Pete gave me a resigned shrug and turned back to grading his papers, "Probably."

I giggled and drew a happy face inside the 0 of 70%. "What about you? How's Jenny?"

"Jenny is good." He nodded, "She loves it up there, even though her dog sled broke and she wasn't able to get to the grocery store for a month."

I laughed, assuming that he was making a joke about his Canadian girlfriend, until I realized that he wasn't making any sense, "Wait, what?"

He looked up at me and knit his brow, "She moved to the Yukon to open a veterinary clinic for the sled dog racers. I told you this, didn't I tell you this?"

"Uhhhm, _no_." I blinked in surprise, "I think I would remember that. I mean seriously, she's a walking stereotype. Canadian sled dog vet. Does her car run on maple syrup too?"

"No, but her father is a Mountie."

My eyes must of been dancing with glee as I grinned, "Oh, of _course_ he is."

"Yes but do not tease her about it, because she gets very defensive."

"So what happened with..." I knit my brow, "Did we ever decide on a ice cream flavour for Jenny?"

This is our thing now, apparently. Assigning ice cream flavours to everyone. It's better than pancakes, shut up.

"I think we settled on strawberry. Nice, uncomplicated strawberry." He sighed, "And she _is_ nice, and I care about her very much. But we just weren't sure where we were going long term. Plus, she saw herself in kind of a rut, professionally, and decided she wanted to try out her crazy dog sled vet dream while she was young and not tied down with family. So, we decided to just... put a pin in it for now."

"Put a pin in it?" I asked, my eyebrows perking up.

"That was _her_ phrasing." He shot me a little grin, "We just needed to take a step back I guess. See how we felt when she got back in a year." He shrugged, "The thing with strawberry is that it is safe. It is _good_ , but predictable."

I pressed my lips together thoughtfully as I listened to his explanation, propping my chin up on my fist with a frown, "I liked Jenny."

"I know." He nodded, turning back to grading. "But who knows, maybe the time apart will cause us to grow closer."

"Canadian Strawberry Jenny." I pressed my lips together thoughtfully before a grin stretched across my face, " _Strawberry Mousse_. Because Moose, get it? Canada."

"Yeah, I got that."

"Canadian Strawberry Mousse." I mused out loud, "That was Jenny."

"Uh huh, and how is Scotchy McButterscotch?" He cast me a pointed little smirk, and I got his message loud and clear. He no longer wished to speak of Strawberry Jenny.

"Alright, I get your point." I rolled my eyes, "And Wisdom is _fine_."

He chuckled at his minor victory as he continued marking, "Wasn't there a new guy? What was his name?"

"Yes there was, and I didn't tell you his name. It doesn't matter anyway," I waved him off, "He was kind of immature and _really_ into retro cassette tapes. He would have been like... Tiger Tail ice cream. You know, the idea is _super_ fun, but then you get it and you're like... _ehhh_."

"And what about Doug, how is he doing?"

I shrugged, "He's the same. I mean, he's dating my partner now, I told you that didn't I? I'm trying to be supportive, but I can't help but be concerned for the moment shit hits the fan and I have to choose between them." I frowned and shook my head as I finished up another test, marking it with a happy 85%, "It's like waiting for a bomb to explode. You _know_ it's gunna happen. Side note, I have no idea why you hate marking tests, this is fun."

" _Fun_?" He gave me an incredulous look and I lifted my hands up in a shrug,

"What? It totally is." I held my hand out with an impatient little wiggle, "Give your papers to me, I'll finish them up. I'll be like your secretary."

"That is quite the career move." His lips quirked into a grin and he complied, handing over the rest of his tests, "From secret agent to secretary."

"Believe me, there's nothing secret about what I do." I snorted. Way less glamorous than you think.

"I'm afraid I do not pay very well." He kicked his feet out in front of him and folded his hands behind his head as he smiled at me working. "The teachers salary is not great, after all."

"True. And I have grown quite accustomed to my lavish lifestyle." I smiled back sarcastically. "I guess I shouldn't quit my day job, but for the next two months, I'm all yours. Pro bono."

"Remind me again how it was you managed to get two months off of work?" He asked, knowing full well that I've been brushing off that question every time anyone asks it. Seriously, why is it so hard to believe that a government worker couldn't get eight consecutive weeks of vacation?

"I'm on probation. It turns out they really don't like it when you use your gun to shut your TV off." I replied without looking up from paper marking, and he simply narrowed his eyes at me, patiently waiting for a legitimate response. I could feel his eyes on me, boring into my head until finally, I let out a sigh and looked up, "It's not even a big deal. Technically I'm on stress leave."

"And your idea of a stress free vacation is coming here? To plan a wedding? For _Gambit_?"

"I didn't think it out very well."

"I guess not." He sniffed.

"It's a different type of stress." I explained pathetically, "Just... keep this between us, I don't want people treating me like I'm a basket case or something just because I have a bit of anxiety."

"Katya, nobody would think that." He said, pushing himself up off his chair to stand up, wrapping a tie around his neck and giving me a quick glance, "High strung, maybe. But not a basket case."

"You're a comedian."

He opened his mouth, likely to make another hilarious show stopping joke, but was interrupted by a sharp, desperate knocking on the door.

Remy burst through the thing as if the place was on fire, without even waiting for Piotr to grant him entrance.

"Code red, Pete."

I perked up a little bit from my spot on the bed and glanced over to Pete, who didn't look particularly ruffled over this _code red_.

"I need condoms."

"Ugh, seriously? It's 8:30 in the morning." I grimaced, and Remy noticed me for the first time. A smirk drew across his stupid mouth as he leaned against the door jamb and crossed his arms.

"Unless you'll be needing them for yourself..."

"I don't have any." Piotr replied simply.

Remy made a face and looked back at Pete, "Not even for _Jenny_?"

Piotr looked up at him with his eyebrow pricked upwards, "Jenny was on the birth control pill."

"Seriously, Gambit." I rolled my eyes at him, "Get your girl on the pill."

He narrowed his eyes at me, looking slightly less smug, "She _is_ on the pill. We double our defenses now. After... the dark day."

The dark day would be that time half a decade ago that Rogue thought she was pregnant, but turned out to just not be able to pee on a stick properly.

"I guess that makes sense, Rogue is the idiot who doesn't know how to take a pill every day." I grumbled, looking back to the tests I was marking.

"What about lube, can I borrow some of that?" He asked, turning back to Piotr.

"I am fresh out. Ask Logan for some WD-40."

"Got any new toys?"

"You would like to _borrow_ some sex toys?" Pete knit his brow. "Quit being so cheap and buy your own."

Remy shrugged, "You reused them with Jenny after this one," He flicked his hand at me, "How is that any different?"

"Okay, I'm out." I announced. I get that Remy was just being a disgusting _pest_ at this point for my sake, but I let him win this round. Because I have my limits.

He grinned as I stood up and gathered the test papers in my arms, shooting Piotr a smile, "When do you need these tests marked by?"

He shrugged, "Anytime next week is fine."

"You got her workin' for you?" Remy snorted, "You payin' her in sexual favors?"

"No, I'm working pro bono." I snapped as I approached him in the doorway.

"I _bet_ you are." His eyes glimmered with jackassery as he wagged his eyebrows at Piotr.

"It means for _free_ , dumbass." I sneered.

"No fighting in my room." Pete said firmly, glancing between the two of us and I jutted my chin up before phasing through Remy standing in the doorway.

"Don't _do_ that!" He complained as I marched my way down the hall, before muttering something about me being a bitch.

"Good luck with your lube!" I called back to him over my shoulder.

I could hear him muttering something about me in French, but I totally still count that as me getting in the last word. Win for Kitty.

Also, I imagine Pete is seriously regretting his agreement to insist I come along tomorrow.

Like, _seriously_.

* * *

 ** _A/N- You guys are all so fantastic! I loved reading all of your feedback and excitement... I know that the six year thing is a lot to wrap your mind around (you have LizzieTurbo to thank for it not being even longer... because yeah, it was going to be longer) but... I have been writing this damn story for a long ass time. I was in my early 20's when I started ya'll. I am no longer in my early 20's, and I was really itching for Kitty to mature a little bit with me. A very little bit. Because we are still young at heart. Also, writing someone attending school is the pits, I didn't think that through at all. ;)  
So now school is out of the way and she's, what the internet refers to as "adulting".  
Anyway, I've rambled on enough.  
Please leave your feedback for this chapter, I absolutely adore hearing what you guys think of this new, older, Miss Congeniality Kitty. And I'd love to hear your predictions. What do you think I have up my metaphorical sleeve?  
_**


	3. Suit Shopping

The following does not reflect the views or opinions of Marvel or the author known as 'Kinetically Charmed'.

 **Entry number three:**

I don't think Remy was surprised at all that I managed to worm my way into tagging along on the "tuxedo" adventure, but he sure wasn't pleased. True to his word, Piotr absolutely insisted I come along, giving some very compelling arguments as to why my presence would be beneficial. I think the only reason why Remy finally caved and sucked it up was because Jubilee had to bail last minute, and Alex was going in her place, and even Remy couldn't argue that Alex would help out style-wise. The guy looks like the douchy prep from a 90's teen comedy movie.

His whole closet looks like a Hollister store threw up in there.

He looks like he's holding auditions for his Backstreet Boys cover band.

So many burns, so little time.

Anyway, the five of us all piled into Pete's 2006 Chevy Tahoe and set off for the mall, shortly after breakfast. Of course, Alex wasn't sure why we needed to start our day out "so early", and I wasn't sure why we needed Alex, but we managed to make it to the menswear store in one piece.

Remy went ahead and started browsing through the selection of tuxedos with Kurt, who didn't have to pretend at all to be super interested in the whole process. Seriously, for some reason he was genuinely excited to try on monkey suits. Freaking _tuxedos_.

And don't get me wrong, I like tuxedos. I do. But not for Rogue and Remy's wedding. It's not them. I had to talk Rogue _into_ wearing a dress, they don't strike me as the _formal style_. You can't see me, but I'm rolling my eyes so hard right now.

While Remy was busy perusing the selection, a kind looking older man approached and started chatting with Remy and Kurt about what they were looking for. I took this as my cue to enter.

"Hi. I'm Kitty." I grinned cheerfully, extending my hand, and the salesman returned my wide grin, taking my hand in his and placing a kiss on the back.

"Beautiful name, Kitty. I am Giovanni." He said with an Italian accent and a warm smile, "You are the bride?"

Remy snorted, "She wishes."

I pressed my lips into a smile, "I'm the maid of honour."

"Ahh," He dipped his head to the side with admiration, "The maid of honour. You've come to help out, hmm?"

"Yes!" I cut my eyes to Remy, "You betcha!"

"That is wonderful!" He clasped his hands together and turned back to Remy, "So what are thinking?"

"Tuxedo." Remy said before I could speak, "With tails. _Long_ tails."

"Ahh yes, very nice." He nodded, "Are you looking to rent or to buy?"

"Uh, one question." I interrupted, holding up a finger with an apologetic smile, "What exactly is the difference between a tuxedo and a suit, Mr. Giovanni?"

"Very good question, Kitty! A tuxedo-" He turned to a rack on his left and plucked out a tux, "Has the satin facing on the lapels." He gestured to the satin as he spoke, "And down the sides of the pants. It is more _formal_ , you see. Suits are much more flexible."

"Hmm, I see." I nodded, "And what about cost difference?"

"Tuxedos can be rented for $250, they are very pricey to buy."

"I can't rent! I need... customization." Kurt, who was apparently standing behind me the whole time, hissed into my ear and I waved him off.

"And suits?" I asked with a smile, already knowing the answer. I'm sorry guys, but you don't live with Pete Wisdom for a year without picking up a few things about _suits_. (Namely, that they should not be machine washed. Insert eye roll here.)

Giovanni grinned between Kurt and myself, "Suits cost less to buy, but cannot be rented."

I glanced at Remy quickly and caught the grimace on his face. He didn't want to _rent_ a tux. I know him, all he would be able to think about is what the last guy did while he was wearing it. Or rather, right before he took it off.

And what kind of bodily fluids might be all over it.

"I'm gunna try one on." Remy said, shooting me a defiant look, and Kurt gave me a panicked little whimper.

We've established that a teachers salary isn't the best. Kurt cannot afford to buy a tuxedo, just for the sake of a tail hole. I gave him a knowing nod as Remy made off for the change room.

Get it out of your system now, Gambit.

Kurt began pacing anxiously, and I returned to Pete, who had settled down into one of the plush arm chairs and was flipping through a magazine. He glanced up at me when I flopped down in the chair next to him and smirked.

"Couldn't talk him out of it?"

"Oh, it's not over."

His smirk grew and he nodded, "Of course not."

"Why aren't _you_ more concerned? Kurt is over there having a nervous breakdown, and you're cool as a cucumber." I crossed my arms and quirked a brow at him, and he smiled up at me.

"I would look good in a tuxedo."

"Check it out!" Alex called out from across the store, wearing a cummerbund and tux jacket over his Hollister tee, and a top hat on his head, "I'm all ready for the ball, brah! I look bitchen."

I sucked in a deep breath through my teeth and slowly let it out with my eyes closed.

"How is that stress relief going?" Pete asked, his attention back on the magazine in his hands.

Jackass.

It didn't take long for Remy to get into his tuxedo, and while Giovanni talked to Kurt about modifying the pants to better accommodate his physique (read: cut a hole in the ass for his tail) Remy stood in front of a bank of mirrors, admiring himself from every angle.

"Well, what do you think, Fred Astaire?" I asked, crossing my arms and grinning at him through the mirror. "Tails long enough for you?"

His lower lip poked out and he knit his brow petulantly, "I love it."

I let out a sigh and rolled my eyes, "Remy, you don't love it. You hate it."

"I do not."

"Honestly, Gambit. Tuxedos are awesome, if you're George Clooney on the red carpet, or like, Bruce Wayne headed to a charity carnival before Two-Face shows up. But obviously, you're not."

"When am I gunna have the chance to wear a tux again?" He griped at me as he adjusted the jacket on his shoulders, "It ain't like I'm gunna be invited to the governors ball anytime soon, this is my one chance. I want my damn moment. Let me have my _moment_ , Kitty."

I pressed my lips together and lifted my chin defiantly. I am Katherine; stealer of moments.

"Your rental tux will probably be better anyway." I tossed up a hand, "It'll be all nice and _worn in_. In the crotch area."

He squared his jaw and closed his eyes and I took this as a minor victory. He wasn't arguing with me! So I made my move.

"Just try on a suit, okay? I'm telling you, you'll look so sexy, you'll never wanna take the thing off. You wanna look sexy, don't you?"

"I always look sexy." He mumbled with another little pout and a shrug as he adjusted his tie, "I look sexy with the tux."

"Woah." Alex, who had at this point, somehow found a cane and a bow tie to add to his ensemble, " _Nice_ , brah! And check it out, I found my ushers outfit."

The muscles in Remy's jaw ticked a few times as he stared at Alex, before he let out a short breath and deflated a little, "I'll try on a suit."

I mean, it makes sense. Remy thought he was going to look like an awesome wizard magician, until he saw Alex looking like... a regular magician.

And that was it. My evil plan worked.

Except it wasn't evil, it was just... a normal plan. A normal diabolical plan for wedding domination.

Once I got Remy into the nice crisp charcoal grey suit, he was totally sold. We paired it with a black shirt and tie, and his eyes lit up and he kept comparing himself to David Beckham. Giovanni explained that the suit would look even better once it was fitted properly, and I think Remy fell in love even more.

Honestly, I don't know why people don't just listen to me from the get go. We could save so much time.

Kurt was still eyeing the price tag on the suit Remy picked out, but realistically, it could have been a lot worse. He should just accept the fact that he's going to have to pay cash monies. It's his sisters wedding, loosen the purse strings a little, Kurt.

I managed to distract Kurt from the price long enough to shove him into a change room, and Pete followed suit. Pun alert guys, that one was golden.

Anyway, Kurt and Pete went to try on some suits while Giovanni began pinning Remy's to be fitted, and I somehow miraculously managed to get Alex to take off the tuxedo ensemble, and chill his ass down on the couch.

That was about the time that Kurt burst out of the change room and for some weird reason started doing lunges.

"The fabric is amazing!" He announced cheerfully, "I feel so free!"

I don't want to know, Kurt. I so do not want to know.

And judging from the look on Remy's face, he agreed with me whole-heartedly.

He began stretching his arms around in front of him, as if he were planning on running a marathon in this suit or something, and Pete came to a stop next to me with a frown.

"Well at least he is not pacing around anymore, yes?"

I snorted and glanced at him through the corner of my eye, and then did a stupid double take.

" _Wow_." I blinked at him, giving a nice long once over, "That suit is... _wow_."

Pete looked down at himself, smoothing his hands over his jacket with a little self satisfied smirk.

"It is not bad."

"I mean it." I gave my head a shake, scanning the suit jacket and helping him adjust it a little bit before running my hands over his shirt to help smooth some wrinkles out, "I mean, really... wow. You have aged _well_..." I trailed off, and maybe let my hands linger a little longer than intended, before I looked up at him with a playful smile and growled.

He laughed, " _Aged_?"

"Well come on, you're not a spring chicken anymore, Pete." I patted his chest and my eyebrows perked up with interest, "Oh my, those are firm."

He laughed, "Stop it."

"Seriously. _Stop it._ " Remy said pointedly, giving me a little glare, "I'm the groom, you're supposed to be complimenting _me_."

I gave him an eye roll, "Gimme a break, Remy. You know you're pretty too, you don't need me drooling all over you to boost your ego."

"That's the whole reason you're _here_." He said flatly as he adjusted his black tie.

"Oh... Okay, suddenly the idea of bringing Jubilee along makes a _lot_ more sense." I pressed my lips together and shot a smirk back at Piotr, "I mean really, I love the girl and all, but she's terrible with fashion advice."

"And you are not great at drooling over Remy." Pete added with a wink.

"No, definitely not." I looked back at Remy and shook my head, who simply gave me an exasperated eye roll before heading off to the changing rooms.

"I think Jubes is great with fashion sense." Kurt said with a thoughtful frown, "She got Alex to stop wearing sandals all year long."

"That's not fashion sense, that's _common_ sense." I explained, casting a quick glance over to Alex, who was trying to twirl a cane around his fingers like a baton, "Which we've learned he is lacking in spades."

Giovanni finished up measuring Pete and Kurt's suits and pinning them for the alterations, which took a small amount of extra care to fashion Kurt a butt hole.

Yes. Yes I did. I am 12.

Also, I totally wasn't the only one making that joke, every single one of us made a _crack_ about it.

I'll stop now.

Once the pins were in and the guys had changed back into their every day attire, we all agreed to stop for some lunch in the food court.

We brought our trays of crappy American mall food to some uncomfortable metal seats and sat down, and I let out a little sigh of delight.

"I miss American malls."

"How are they different from British malls?" Alex asked as he stuffed some fries in his mouth.

"They don't really _have_ malls... just shops." I frowned and shook my head, "It's just totally not the same. I want my shops grouped together inside a larger building."

"It's like you've come home to the mother ship." Kurt smirked across the table at me and I couldn't really argue _._

Remy sniffed as he unfolded the paper around his burger, "That would explain a lot."

"I understand what you mean." Pete said with a nod, "It is the small, subtle, cultural differences that you miss."

"Sure, this coming from a guy raised on a Russian farm." Kurt snorted at his own joke, and then continued, "Small cultural differences like what, no cows in the living room?"

"That was very funny." Pete said with a wan smile, which Kurt apparently found even funnier, because it only made him laugh more.

"Lorna doesn't like the mall." Alex mused as he swirled his fries around in a little container of ketchup, "She's different from most girls."

"Rogue doesn't like the mall." Kurt reminded him in a not-so-friendly tone, "Lot's of girls don't like the mall."

"Who's Lorna?" I asked, glancing over to Remy who gave me a subtle warning head shake, which somehow caused something to click in my head, "Oh! She's the girlfriend?"

Alex nodded proudly, "She's my bae."

"Ugh, we get it." Kurt groaned, giving his eyes a massively dramatic eye roll, which caused me great confusion. I turned this confused look over to Pete who sighed and shook his head.

"Don't get salty with me, brah." Alex frowned at Kurt, pointing a fry in his direction, "Just because you're jealous-"

"I am _not_ jealous." Kurt interrupted with a scowl on his fuzzy blue face, "She is _bad news_."

"Why?!" I gasped, feeling the familiar warmth of mansion gossip surround my insides.

"She is not bad news, she's fine." Piotr said, giving me another head shake, "Kurt is over reacting."

"I'm not!" He protested, turning to me with wide eyes, "You don't know who she is? _Lorna Dane_!"

I blinked at him for a second, expecting him to elaborate, which he didn't. "The... chick from... Jurassic Park?"

"Laura Dern." Remy supplied, with his mouth full of burger, "Sexy dinosaur lady."

"No," Kurt shook his head and leaned forward to give me a very serious look from across the table, " _Lorna Dane_. She's... Magneto's _love child_."

I let this information settle in, my face slowly lighting up with sheer and utter joy, "Wow... Joseph got _around_...!"

Remy kicked my shin under the table, which squelched my enthusiasm. I mean, there really is no surprise as to why Rogue chose to leave this little bit of info out when she was telling me about Alex's new girlfriend. I never even got a name, which I'm assuming was paranoia on her part, you know, in case I decided to Google her or something.

"She didn't even _know_ about Mags until like... 3 years ago or whatevs." Alex explained to me defensively, "She's totally different."

Kurt's frown grew, "She's trouble. I don't like it. Anyone who associates themselves with that guy is _trouble_."

"Now, I am trying to decide at which point I should remind you that Remy and I worked for him..." Pete said as he cut into his steak with those flimsy plastic utensils, turning to Remy with a little twinkle in his eye, "Is now a good time for that?"

"That's _different_." Kurt said again, throwing his hands up in exasperation, "It's in her DNA!"

I narrowed my eyes, pressing my lips into a smile as I quirked a brow, "Like you and Mystique?"

He stared at me, as if he were in awe that I would ever dare to bring up such a thing, before sinking down in his seat a little bit and frowning, "Shut up."

"Besides, Rogue was 'associating' with him _pre-tty_ heavily for a while-" I stopped when Remy kicked me in the shin again and let out a yelp. "Would you stop that?!"

"Speakin' of Mystique," He said, ignoring my glare as he turned to Kurt, "I've been thinking."

"Oh boy." Pete sighed quietly and I suppressed a laugh to the best of my ability.

"I want to invite her. As a... surprise for Rogue."

My eyes widened and I sucked in a breath, desperately trying to keep my opinion to myself. I've grown up a lot, guys. Meddling gets you nowhere. You don't get a metal for meddling.

Although I have to wonder, does he mean _surprise_ as in like, surprise! You won the Publisher Clearing House Contest! Or like, surprise, I'm here to hack you into pieces with a chainsaw and eat your skin.

Because really.

"That might be okay," Kurt replied thoughtfully, "She is our mother, after all."

"Exactly," Remy nodded, "And... in spite of everything Jean Luc and I went through..." He trailed off and shook his head, "She'll regret it later. Not having her mom there."

So, quick update here; Remy's dad is dead. He died suddenly, and he and Remy never buried the hatchet. In fact as far as I know they hadn't seen or spoken to one another since the toe chopping incident.

I wanted to point out to him that Rogue's relationship with Mystique didn't quite have the same dynamic as him and Jean Luc, but instead I grit my teeth and watched as Kurt nodded in agreement.

"I think you're right."

"I think it's a stupid idea, brah." Alex piped up, thankfully. Never in a million years would I have ever thought I would be happy to hear Alex speak, but here we are. "Rogue would flip her lid."

"You don't even know Mystique." Kurt dismissed him with a flick of his hand and Alex scoffed.

"Well, I know Rogue hates her, that's pretty much all I need to know." He countered, which kind of caught me by surprise because again, here I am agreeing with Alex. Maybe Lorna Dane is a positive influence on Alex after all, if he's actually starting to make sense. Either that or I need to double check the dosage on those herbal pills my therapist gave me.

"Pete, what do you think?" Remy asked, drawing our attention to the silent man to my right. He stopped trying to hack away at his steak (seriously, Pete. Who buys steak at a mall food court?) and looked up at Remy with a raised brow.

"Oh no. I am not getting involved in this."

"How would you even find her?" I asked, hoping to put things in perspective for him, in a non-confrontational way. "Nobody has any idea where she could be. We haven't seen her in... over a decade. She could be anywhere. She could be _anyone_."

Rather than look deterred by this fact, he simply gave me one of his charm oozing smiles and winked, "You look real pretty today, _minette_."

I blinked at him and shook my head, "No. What are you... no. Whatever it is you want me to do, the answer is no."

"I just want you to make a phone call for me. That's all." He said soothingly, "You know, just grease some wheels. You know _people_ who can find people... with government resources at his disposal..."

I let out a long breath and narrowed my eyes, "I hope you're not asking me what I think you're asking me."

He cocked his head to the side with a half smile, "You _know_ he'll help you."

" _No_." I repeated firmly.

"You have this weird power over your ex boyfriends, minette. They would do _anything_ for you." He pointed at Piotr as if to emphasis his point, and Pete rolled his eyes,

"That is _not_ true."

Alex and Kurt both giggled, clearly in agreement with Remy over this matter, like anyone would pay attention to their opinion.

"It is so, don't argue with me. She's f***ing magic or something."

Or I'm just a nice person who likes to end things on good terms? I know such a thing is a foreign concept to you, Gambit.

"I'm not calling Wisdom for you, Remy." I said firmly, "So you're just going to have to find some other way to track Mystique down."

He was silent for a moment as the charming smile melted off his face, morphing into a look of disappointment.

"That's fine." He said, working the muscles in his jaw with a nod, dropping his eyes down to the burger on his plate, "Things aren't the same between us anymore, I get it."

I sagged in my seat and rolled my eyes, "Don't even-"

"I said it's fine. Don't worry about it. I'll find another way." He clipped, turning his attention back to his burger as he mumbled, "Willin' to help everyone else out except for me, but whatever..."

I exchanged a look with Pete, who was happily watching his best friend emotionally manipulate me, before letting out a deep sigh, "Oh _fine_." I relented, causing Remy to light up just a little, "I'll call him later. But you have to know he's totally not going to-"

"I think we should call him now." Remy said, giving his head a little shake as he slipped his phone out of his back pocket, "Just to make sure you actually do it."

"Seriously? I said I'll do it, you don't need to be- is that my phone?" I asked, noticing the baby blue phone case in his hand and suddenly realizing that it most certainly was not his. "Did you steal my phone!?"

"Don't act so surprised." He muttered as he fiddled away on my phone, moving just out of reach of my grabbing hand.

"It's password protected! How did you-"

"It's the same as the pin code for your bank card." He shrugged simply. Before I had the chance to be outraged at the fact that he knew my _bank code,_ he tapped the speaker button for the world to hear the ringing.

 _"'Lo."_ Came the voice on the other end after _way_ not enough rings for me to prepare myself.

"Hey. Pete- Wisdom." I grimaced at my awkwardness. It's really not my fault, Remy caught me off guard, I didn't have the chance to practice my greeting in my head.

There was a pause, and then he said, _"Hey, Kitty Pryde."_ With that tone of amusement at my expense. _"What's wrong?"_

"Nothing is wrong. Am I not just allowed to call you without there being something wrong?"

" _There's a first time for everything, love._ "

I clenched my jaw and glared up at Remy, who looked like he was getting far too much enjoyment out of my suffering for my liking.

"I need a favour."

 _"Ah, there it is."_ I could practically hear the grin on his face, _"What do you need, Petal? I thought you were in America."_

I made a reach for the phone, but Remy jerked it away, and I huffed, "I am. Remy has this stupid idea to try and track down Mystique for the wedding." I said with a very purposeful sneer at Remy.

There was a beat of silence before Wisdom said, _"Mystique."_

"Yeah." I closed my eyes and let out a breath, as I mentally cursed Remy, "She's Rogue's-"

 _"I know. I'm just... trying to understand how one could come up with such a stupid idea."_

"It is _not_ a stupid idea." Remy snapped into the phone, "They're _family_."

 _"Ah, speakerphone..."_ Wisdom sighed, even though I know perfectly well that he was completely aware he was on speakerphone. _"I guess it's a good thing I didn't ask for one of those_ special _favours_ _in return like old times, innit Pryde?"_

Pete dropped his plastic utensils and pressed his lips into a little sneer grumbling, "I am suddenly not very hungry."

Kurt jumped up from his seat and reached across Remy and myself to snatch up Pete's stake with his hand, which he then proceeded to eat. With his hand. Like he was holding a sandwich.

 _That's_ how you eat a mall steak, Pete.

 _"Oh, Other Pete is there as well! It's like a little convention of people you've-"_

"Okay." I snatched the phone away from Remy and tapped speakerphone off, holding it up to my ear with a frown, "Was that necessary?"

 _"I just wanted to see how far you'd let me go with the speakerphone."_ He replied with a laugh in his voice, _"Turns out, not very far."_

"So, will you... try to track down Mystique, or not?" I asked, turning my body instinctively as I spoke, until I realized that I was now face to face with Alex, who was grinning at me like an idiot. I frowned at him and then turned back the other way, now facing Piotr. Which obviously wasn't going to do either. So I stood up and took a few steps away from the table filled with guys who get far too much enjoyment out of torturing me, and heard Wisdom sigh on the other end.

 _"I don't know love. It won't be easy, I don't imagine she wants to be found-"_

"Oh come on Pete," I smirked playfully into the phone, "If anyone can do it, it'd be you. Mr. Detective. Mr. Answers to no man. Mr. Master of the impossible."

 _"You're trying to woo me into helping you. I like it, keep going."_

I laughed with a little snort.

" _So what do I get in return for helping out your barmy mates?_ " He asked, " _I mean, I wasn't even invited to the wedding..._ "

I rolled my eyes and gave my head a shake, "You _want_ to come to the wedding?"

" _Well it's nice to be asked_."

"Alright, you're invited. I'm inviting you. _Now_ will you help?"

 _"I'll do my best._ _"_ He said with a sigh and I imagine a super dramatic eye roll. _  
_

"Thank you" I grinned.

" _Yeah, yeah_." He sniffed, " _And by the way, helping track down long lost mothers doesn't sound very relaxing. You're supposed to be de-stressing over there._ "

"Not helping would have been far more stressful. Trust me." I snorted, glancing back at the guys over my shoulder, "Anyway, I should go, before Remy has the chance to think up any phone sex jokes.

" _You've never been good with phone sex, you can't figure out how to get the condom on the phone."_ Wisdom quipped, sounding quite pleased with himself. _  
_

"Yeah, like that." I mumbled with an eye roll before exchanging goodbyes and hanging up.

Honestly, I can't escape them. The Idiot Men are everywhere.

* * *

 _ **A/N- I literally couldn't NOT include Wisdom. It really broke my heart that I had to skip over their whole ~*~thing~*~ with the time jump, because he's just so darn fun. Also, Kitty really does have a weird thing with the Pete's, doesn't she? Colossus, Wisdom, now Starlord... also pretty sure I recall some Spiderman action in there a while back? I mean, c'mon Marvel. Let the girl date a Jeff or something. Derek, Shane, Paul. All of those are names, that are not Pete. See how easy it was? Here's some more, Zack, Slater, Screech, nope... I lost it. Now I'm just naming Saved By the Bell characters.**_

 ** _Please leave your review, even if it's just a few words, what you loved or hated, I adore your reviews! I loved reading everyone's little predictions last week too, the response to this grown up Kitty is phenomenal!_**


	4. Cake vs Donuts, The Eternal Struggle

**_A/N- So I'm going to do something I don't normally do, and respond directly to a few reviews quickly._**

 ** _Changtastic- First off, your previous review, and Remy's face sock. It's custom. I choke laughed, so hard. Secondly, I'm genuinely struggling to not see_** ** _Colin O'Donoghue as Wisdom now... even though I feel like he's too pretty boy to be Wisdom. I feel like Wisdom is far more gritty than a 300 year old pirate. Hook is all feelsy and soft. That just makes me feel bad for Wisdom._**

 _ **Spasticatt- I'm so happy my updates coincide with your need for a laugh! I hope this one brightens your day a little. :D**_

 _ **Couplest- Obviously she was referring to "aged" as in a fine wine. Like George Clooney. Or Michael Keaton, personally I'm more of a Keaton fan, but Clooney gets my point across better, I guess.**_

 _ **Ana- What a thought provoking question! (She asked if Kitty is a Katy or a Gaga) (It doesn't sound thought provoking but it really was) My first instinct is hands down Katy, but then I thought about it a little longer... I think on the surface she's a Katy, but inside she's a bit Gaga. She's grittier than Katy, and more cotton candy than Gaga. I've clearly thought about this the normal amount, and did not dwell on it for an inordinate amount of time or anything. ;)  
**_

 _ **Everyone else- Thank you all so much for the reviews. They truly do brighten up my day when I read them, and they make me think, "Hey! People actually like this crap! Maybe I should keep doing the crap!" And then I do more of the crap. So keep reviewing and I'll keep up with the crap.**_

* * *

The following does not reflect the views or opinions of Marvel or the author known as 'Kinetically Charmed'.

 **Entry number four:**

Somebody shoot me now, Rogue has discovered Pinterest.

I mean, to be clear, she's known about Pinterest for a long time, she's just recently discovered that it can be used for things other than looking at pictures of cats and stupid meme's about snarky roosters or whatever. Which is to say, she's started a wedding board.

And yeah, I know I should be happy that she's taking this shit seriously, and that she's actually _trying_ to help with the planning, but it's mostly just giving me a massive headache, because half the crap you find on Pinterest is just pure garbage. Under normal circumstances she would agree with me too, but she's got her bride blinders on, and so now she's pinning how to turn old light bulbs into hanging vases and photo booths with props, because apparently then they won't need to hire a photographer.

Also, she doesn't want a cake. She now wants a doughnut wall. And I want to scream into a pillow.

I did convince her to come cake testing with me, because you can't get a red velvet doughnut, Rogue. I know your if you can, please don't tell Rogue, this is literally my only bargaining chip.

I'm really holding out hope that she'll let go of this doughnut wall dream and just get a cake. Like a normal person. But who am I kidding, Rogue has never been a normal person.

Anyway, I managed to get an appointment early in the week at a bakery in town, and even though she's super dead-set on this dougnut wall, she was not complaining about tasting cakes all morning when she _should_ have been running DR sessions with a bunch of adolescents. I really can't say I blame her.

The bakery was this amazing little hole-in-the-wall place that smelled like heaven, run by a cute little Polish couple who wasted absolutely no time thrusting a plate full of samples our way. We settled down at one of the seats once we had our sample plate and dug in.

"I should have brought a coffee or some milk or something... you think they have milk?" Rogue asked as she glanced around the tiny bakery.

"Just be cool, Rogue. They're giving us free cake." I said, taking a forkful of the piece labelled _classic vanilla bean_. "That is freaking _good_ vanilla."

Rogue shrugged as she chewed on a piece of the same slice, "It's no doughnut wall."

I rolled my eyes, "Seriously, what is the big deal with this doughnut wall? It just seems wildly unsanitary to me."

"It's _cute_." Rogue clipped defensively, "And it's easy to do, and it's _my_ wedding, remember?"

I took a bite of _lemon raspberry_ and frowned, "I know, I know." I shook my head, "But a doughnut wall-"

"I am _not_ gunna budge on this. This ain't Remy in a tuxedo, so you best just back off." She replied with that Southern attitude of hers, and I couldn't help but smile.

"You can take the girl out of the redneck, but you can't take the redneck out of the girl."

"That doesn't even make _sense_."

"Okay," I sighed and shook my head, "So what _kind_ of doughnuts? Can they at least be like, fancy doughnuts?"

"The fanciest." Rogue grinned in victory and took a bite of _chocolate truffle_. "Damn that's good."

It really was.

"So, how necessary are wedding favours?" She asked and I couldn't help but smirk.

"Pretty necessary."

"Ugh." She frowned, "I knew you were gunna say that."

"We can think of something simple though, like... mints." I said with a flip of my hand, spouting off the first thing that came to mind.

Her face twisted up and she raised an eyebrow, " _Mints?_ "

"I don't know... almonds. Pinterest is full of that crap, like colouring pages with your pictures on them... I don't hear you offering any suggestions." I pointed out as I bit into some hazelnut cake. "What sort of... overall wedding vibe are you going for?"

"Alcohol." Rogue replied flatly and I snorted.

"Okay, so maybe we get some of those little mini bottles of liquor. Thanks for coming, have a shot."

She tipped her head back and laughed, "See, I know you're bein' sarcastic but I actually like that idea, a lot."

"We tied the knot, have a shot!" I laughed with her, "No, I totally love it. It's perfect, we're doing it."

"Give 'em a shot glass too." Rogue grinned, "Something to remember the day by."

"That's _perfect_! We can put them together in cute little mesh bags with a little tag on them."

Rogue shook her head, "Yeah, see, now you lost me."

"So were we thinking like, tequila? Rum? Bourbon?"

"Whiskey. _Definitely_ , whiskey." Rogue said with a toss of her hand, as if this were a total no-brainer. She grinned at me silently for a minute before tipping her head to the side and taking a bite of the hazelnut cake, "I miss this."

"You miss what?"

"This. Us. Hangin' out." She shrugged casually, "You should move back home."

I snorted with a mouthful of lemon raspberry, "Yeah right."

"I'm serious. Tell me you don't miss it here too." She sat back in her seat and crossed her arms with her eyebrow quirked.

"Of course I do, but that-"

"So then come _back_." She interrupted with a little frown, "Look, you had your fun bein' a big bad government agent, and I supported you in that. We all did. For like... 5 years or whatever. But now your brain is gettin' fried, probably from bein' over worked or some shit, so just come _home_."

"Wait, what?" I frowned back at her, "My brain isn't fried."

She rolled her eyes and then settled them on me skeptically, " _Really_? They were totally fine with you takin' all this time off?"

I narrowed my eyes at her, "Did Pete tell you...?"

"Nobody told me nothin', I'm just smarter than I look." She smirked smugly, "Spill it, Pryde."

I sighed, "I'm on stress leave."

"I _knew_ it." She frowned at me, "An' you told _Pete_ , and not me?!"

"Yeah, because it's not a big deal." I shrugged, before pointedly adding, "And I knew Pete wouldn't make it a big deal."

Rogue tossed her hands up in surrender and turned her attention back to the plate of samples. "Alright, fine. I get it. It's no big deal. Whatever." She was silent for a total of ten seconds, chewing contemplatively on a piece of cake before pointing at me with her fork, "So speakin' of Pete, he's single now you know."

I snorted some cake out my nose and shook my head, "Subtle."

"I'm just sayin'... what happens in Bayville, stays in Bayville. Right?" She wagged her eyebrows at me playfully and I choked on another laugh.

"You know that thing people say about couples starting to look alike after being together for a while...?" I trailed of, flipping my hand to make my point, which really only caused her smile to widen.

"Come on, you know you wanna hit that. Remy told me how you were fawning all over him at the suit fitting..."

"Okay, first of all I was not fawning all over him. I was joking around with him. And I was only 'fawning' because I have _eyes_. I can appreciate the view, Rogue. That doesn't mean anything. That ship has sailed."

She quirked a brow, the hint of a smile tugging at the corner of her lips, "Honey, ain't no reason the ship can't stop in the harbour for supplies, now an' then."

I choked on some cake in a laugh, "Did you just call me _honey_?"

"I'm just sayin', Kitty. Strike while the iron is hot. An' that iron is _plenty_ hot." She winked.

"Pete and I are just not in that place anymore. We have a platonic love. That's totally not worth screwing up for the sake of a desperate booty call." I said with an eye roll.

"Sex makes every friendship better. _Trust_ me."

"Oh yeah, trust you? With your one sexual conquest?" I snorted, and she fixed me with a wry half smile.

"It's like the ice cream on the cake. Nobody's gunna turn that down."

"Uh, they would if they don't want their cake all soggy." I replied, to which Rogue grimaced at me.

"Nobody wants f***ing dry ass cake."

"If you make the cake right, then it won't be dry, Rogue." I said pointedly, gesturing to the moist cakes on our sample plate to make my point.

She furrowed her brow, "Are we talking actual cake, or is this a metaphor? I lost track."

"I was talking about actual cake." Obviously.

Rogue nodded at that and went back to her cake samples, which I was grateful for. Rogue is simply in that idealist state of mind right now because she's happy, and in love, so she sees the potential for love everywhere. She's like a foul mouthed Cupid. At any rate, I was glad that she let the subject drop, because I really didn't want to dwell on it.

I took another bite of the hazelnut, which was definitely my favorite of the samples, chewing thoughtfully for a moment, "Do you think they could make hazelnut cake doughnuts? We should ask if they do doughnuts here."

"Really? I was just gunna go with _Krispy Kreme_..." She trailed off, pressing her lips into a frown.

"You said _fancy_ doughnuts."

She scoffed and shook her head, " _Yeah_. Exactly. _Krispy Kreme_ is plenty fancy."

Seriously, you _cannot_ take the redneck out of the girl. I've tried.

Once we finished up at the cute little Polish bakery, we stopped by a liquor store to start gathering supplies for our wedding favours. Also, I really need to stop referring to this wedding as _our_ wedding, because people are starting to talk.

Anyway, after our stop at the liquor store, and then the craft supply store, we headed back to the mansion with our arms full of booze and ribbons. I reminded Rogue that we needed to go dress shopping, like, yesterday, and she reluctantly agreed to make an appointment for early next week.

I get why she's dragging her heels over this, I really do. She _wants_ a wedding dress, she just doesn't want to shop for a wedding dress. She just wants the wedding to miraculously fall from the sky and into her lap, and fit her every curve perfectly. Unfortunately, I can't see that happening, so she's just going to have to suck it up and get over it.

I was telling her to take a look at her wedding magazine to get a better idea of what styles she might think she would like, as we brought our bags up to my room, because we both know I'm the one who is in charge of the party favours, this goes without saying. I was filling her in on the basics of wedding dress styles, giving her a quick rundown on the different silhouettes and necklines so she wouldn't be horribly overwhelmed, only to be stopped in the hallway rather abruptly by a very disgruntled looking Remy. He stood there with his arms crossed, scowling down at me through narrowed eyes, his jaw ticking with irritation.

"Cake?" I asked with a saccharine sweet smile, pulling a small white bakery box out of my purse filled with the leftovers of our samples.

His face relaxed a bit as he looked at the box, before snatching it out of my hand with a little snuff. I'd kind of hoped that offering him my leftovers would be like tossing a steak to a dog, but unfortunately, he didn't run off to eat his cake in the corner.

"So guess who I talked to today?" He asked with a lilt of sarcasm to his tone.

I rolled my eyes, feeling oh-so fed up with his unwarranted attitude towards me, "I don't know, Remy. The Pope."

"No. _Henri_." He turned to address Rogue, jerking his head towards me, " _She_ made me call him to get his measurements."

"So what?" Rogue asked with a bored expression.

" _So_ , he took that as a f***ing invitation to come visit!" He flipped his hands in the air, "Said he wanted to get fitted in person, to make sure the suit fit right or some shit. He's comin' down with his wife this _weekend_."

"Again... so what?" I frowned, "He's your brother. You're gunna have to deal with him eventually."

"Yes, but I thought I had _time_." He scrubbed his hand over his face and shook his head, "An' he's bringin' Mercy with him... They drive me f***ing insane, Kitty. They gonna keep askin' us when we're havin' kids, an' he's gunna be all excited about every little f***ing thing..."

The corner of Rogue's mouth quirked up despite the fact that she was trying hard not to smile, and she gave him a one shouldered shrug, "Stop bein' such a drama queen. It'll be fine. We'll keep them entertained."

Remy worked the muscles in his jaw and nodded with a frown, anxiously running his hands through his hair, "Yeah, alright."

"We'll take them out. Hit up a bar or something, keep them distracted." Rogue nodded towards me, "It's Kitty's birthday on Friday, that's a good excuse as any to get out an' hit the town."

"I'm always happy to be a good excuse." I nodded with Rogue and then turned back to Remy, "However this does mean I'll be expecting a birthday present. I'm a big fan of diamonds, and I prefer _rose_ gold."

Remy narrowed his eyes at me and seethed silently for a moment before muttering, "Just you wait. You'll see... you'll all see..." Before turning on his heel to march back down the hall.

I turned to Rogue with a half smile, "I feel like one of these days he's going to murder me in my sleep."

She shrugged, "Let's just hope he waits until _after_ the wedding."

I feel so loved.

So, after this whole spectacle in the hallway, Rogue helped me lug the wedding favour supplies up to my room where we dumped them, before making our way down to the kitchen for lunch. Because we really worked up an appetite after our long morning of eating cake. When we stepped into the kitchen, I spied Jubilee and Alison casually chatting away as they ate their lunch.

"Hey!" Jubilee grinned when she noticed us in the doorway, her eyes fixing on Rogue, "How did _you_ manage to get off lunch duty today?"

"Lunch duty?" I asked, shooting Rogue a questioning glance.

"It was my turn in the rotation to supervise lunch." She explained quickly before turning back to Jubilee, "Warren owed me."

"Lucky you." Alison huffed and rolled her eyes with a little smile, "Yesterday I had to breakup a fight between two boys, who were apparently fighting over a girl. I'm not prepared enough to deal with teenage hormones yet."

Jubilee laughed, "They're so bad too! I was _never_ that bad."

Yeah you were, Jubilee.

I kept my opinions to myself and set about grabbing some leftovers from yesterdays dinner with Rogue, before we crossed over to join them at the table. I only managed to catch the tail end of the conversation which went something along the lines of Alison saying,

"-Longshot and Kurt were there to break it up, while I tried my best to console this poor 15 year old girl who was sobbing about her boyfriends bloody nose."

Rogue cracked open a bottle of water and snorted, "Was Longshot the one who gave it to him?"

And then the three of them laughed together. I don't know who Longshot is, so I just awkwardly smiled and sipped on my own water as if I knew what was going on.

That was when Tabby joined us. She grabbed herself a cup of coffee and plunked herself down in the vacant seat next to Jubilee with a sly grin on her face, "Have I got some mega Rolo dish for you guys..."

"Rolo like... the candy?" I asked, cocking an eyebrow. Rolo's are like, one of my top 5 favorite chocolate bars, so obviously my interest was piqued.

Tabby turned her wicked little grin towards me, "No, like _Ororo and Logan_. Doin' it."

My eyes grew wide, "Ew!"

It was a knee jerk reaction, I couldn't help it. Also, I'm sure there must be a better name amalgamation. Lorm? Loro? Organ. That's totally the one. Match made in heaven.

"There have been all these rumours going around that they're _friends with benefits_." Tabby continued, glancing towards the kitchen door to make sure we were still alone, as if that would even matter with Logan's magic ears, "And they _totally_ are."

Rogue snorted and glanced over at me, "I think it's bullshit. Ya'll are just lookin' for drama where there ain't none."

"I swear, I saw him leaving her room, at like 2 am." Jubilee shook her head adamantly, "I _saw_ it."

"You also swear you saw a Yeti in the backyard that one time, and it was literally just a kid wearin' brown camo." Rogue chuckled to herself as she picked away at her lunch.

"Hey. He was a _big_ kid." Jubilee replied defensively, and Tabby held her hand up for silence.

"I just walked into his office, while they were in the midst of a _very_ intimate moment."

"What kind of intimate moment?" Rogue asked skeptically, "Were they makin' out?"

"No, but they were... you know, eyeing one another." Tabby replied, lidding her eyes to demonstrate, which caused Jubilee to titter gleefully.

"Is that a new kind of sex act I don't know about?" I asked with a frown, and Rogue snorted.

Tabby rolled her eyes, "It was the _atmosphere_."

"Well, I still think you're romanticizing nothing." Rogue shook her head and went back to her lunch. "Seriously, ya'll are just desperate for some hot couple to gossip about, now that Pete and Jenny ain't a thing anymore."

"She does have a point." Jubilee conceded, turning to Tabby with a frown, "All we're left with is stupid Alex and _Lorna_."

Tabby mimed gagging herself, and Rogue nodded in agreement.

"Nothing against Lorna or anything, but Jenny was the _best_." Alison explained to me with a sigh, "They were so cute together."

"They were, weren't they _Kitty_?" Tabby grinned at me like the troublemaker that she always will be, and I nodded, ignoring her attempt at goading me into being awkward.

"I really liked Jenny." I replied honestly with a smile, "Pete looked so happy with her."

"Oh, you knew her?" Alison asked with a dreamy smile, "She was the best."

"She was _so_ nice. She let me borrow her car once." Jubilee sighed with a head shake. "Honestly, I always kind of thought they were end game."

"She always brought maple syrup after she would visit home." Alison smiled fondly, "And she let me borrow her papaya extract conditioner, it made my hair _so_ soft."

"She was fine." Rogue rolled her eyes, "Total people pleaser, and kind of boring, but fine."

Alison clicked her tongue and tossed a hand at Rogue, "You and Remy, you're both the same. He didn't like her either, but I really think that was just because he was clinging onto some hope that Pete would get back together with his ex some day. I can't remember her name..." She turned to Rogue and snapped her fingers as she tried to recall this mystery girls name, "You know that girl who followed him around everywhere like a puppy...?"

"Kitty." Jubilee answered, cutting her eyes to me hesitantly.

"Sure." Alison rolled her eyes, "Followed him around like a kitty, same difference, but whatever."

"No, her name was Kitty." I supplied, gave my fingers a little waggle wave and then frowned, "Also, _nobody_ followed him around like anything. That boy is _delusional_. Seriously, he wishes I followed him around. Did he say that?! What a liar."

Rogue, Tabby and Jubilee all cracked up, and Alison's face went white as my words sunk in. "Oh... my gosh, I'm so sorry-"

"It's fine. Gambit would think I followed him around, because he's a narcissist, and I seriously don't know what you see in him Rogue, it's not too late to call the wedding off." I turned to Rogue with an eyebrow raise, which really only made her laugh harder.

"I'm so sorry I didn't realize... I guess I was just expecting someone... more like Jenny."

Okay, hear me out. I liked Jenny, just as much as everyone else, but this comment in addition to all the Jenny praise, put my hackles up. I mean, yes, it's been 6 years and we've totally moved on, and sure, I'm no Jenny. But Jenny is no _me_. 'Kay honey? I was a freakin' _awesome_ girlfriend. You can't compare us, it's apples and oranges. It's Strawberry Maple Mousse and Triple Chocolate Surprise with sprinkles. So yeah, I won't let you borrow my shampoo and I won't bring you sweet... plant based condiments when I visit, but it's not like I'm a _monster_.

I managed to keep my thoughts to myself and clenched my jaw into a pleasant looking smile. "Oh please," I laughed, tossing a hand up in the air, "Someone like Jenny would never be able to put up with Remy. He's way too needy. It's basically like having a toddler."

There's that ol' humour mechanism, still working as you can see.

Rogue laughed, maybe a little bit too enthusiastically and agreed with me, before quickly shifting the subject to having a small get together to celebrate my birthday and distract Remy's brother from being... whatever it is Remy is afraid of. Clearly, my best friend sensed the massive amounts of tension I was radiating and likely noticed my eye twitching ever so slightly, and came to my rescue. It's nice to know she's still got my back. And also that she still remembers when my birthday is.

I'm not joking, guys. She has trouble remembering what day Christmas falls on.


	5. We have History

The following does not reflect the views or opinions of Marvel or the author known as 'Kinetically Charmed'.

 **Entry number five:  
**

I was determined to at least give this whole relaxing thing a try. It's become such a foreign concept to me after so many years of constant back to back assignments, to genuinely have nothing to do. But I was going to embrace it dammit, and I was going to like it. Whether I liked it or not.

Shortly after breakfast, I was making my way up to the library with my Kindle in hand, loaded up with as many free books as I could find but never actually got around to actually reading. I was happily trotting down the hall, minding my own business, when Storm popped up, basically out of nowhere, and nearly collided into me.

"Sorry, Kitty." She apologized with a tight smile that didn't quite manage to reach her eyes.

"No pro-"

"You're not doing anything right now, are you?" She asked with a sudden interest sparking to life in her eye.

"Uh... just going to read-"

"Oh great! We've been looking for a few new substitute teachers to hire, but in the meantime you'll do just perfectly! You don't mind helping out right?" Storm asked, placing her hand on my shoulder as she began bustling me down the hall before I even responded.

"N-no, I guess-"

"Of course you don't." She chuckled, her heels clacking loudly on the hardwood floors as she hurried me down past the library and towards the school wing, "You know how it goes around here. Everyone pitches in!"

"Where are we-"

"Piotr's got a class starting in about 3 minutes, you can sit in and get the feel for process." She answered quickly before I even managed to get the entire question out.

"Wait, what? I can't- I'm not _dressed_ to sit in on a class, Storm." I pointed out with a frown as I stayed in step with her, "I'm wearing leggings and a baggy old sweater, it's totally unprofessional."

Storm waved off my concern with a flick of her manicured hand, "That look is incredibly fashionable right now, you could have walked off a runway." She replied dismissively, glancing at me quickly to add, "Just... fix up your hair a bit."

I winced and my hand flew to the messy bun in my hair, and I struggled to smooth the flyaways down in an attempt to _not_ look like I just rolled out of bed. Before I knew it, Storm came to an abrupt stop and gave a few sharp knocks on Piotr's classroom door. She didn't bother to wait for an answer, she simply twisted the knob and pushed the door open with a smile.

"Sorry to interrupt. Kitty's just going to sit in," She motioned for me to move past her into the classroom before giving Piotr another nod, "Carry on."

The door closed behind me and I stood there, with all of those teenage eyes fixed on me with a mixture of curiosity and amusement. And of course, they all looked like little TV stars, with their perfect hair and makeup, and me looking like some weird, old schlub. Thanks a lot YouTube, for totally eradicating the awkward phase that all teenagers are naturally supposed to go through. Glitter eye shadow and terrible lipstick shades are a necessary evil, you guys. Sephora has ruined this generation for the rest of us.

I ignored the curious stares of the class and locked eyes with Piotr, who gave me a calm little half smile and gestured to one of the free seats. The way he took my sudden "sit in" with such stride made me feel like this was a regular occurrence, which would have made me feel better, if I'd known what the f*** I was doing there in the first place. Like seriously, what am I supposed to be observing? I know what a classroom looks like, Storm.

Also, their turnover rate must be terrible if they can't even keep _substitute_ teachers around.

But, I figured that I'm already marking tests for Pete, I'm basically halfway there anyway, and besides I'll only be around for a few months. Helping out now and then wouldn't be so bad. Plus, Storm is _good_. You literally cannot say no to her.

I slipped into one of the seats and Pete turned his attention back to the students, "Could someone please get Miss Pryde a text book?"

A very over ambitious, oily faced boy hopped up from his chair so fast that it nearly toppled backwards, and then he leapt towards me with a thick text book in hand, holding it out towards me with a wavering little smile.

"Thank you." I grinned back as I slipped the text from his hand, watching as his face suddenly turned bright red before he skittered back to his desk.

See? Even now, all I'm able to attract are the nerdy kids in class.

I quickly found my place in the text, flipping ahead to chapter thirteen and, following along with the lesson.

The incredibly boring lesson. I mean, yeah, history is boring. I know that. But you guys, history is _**BORING**_. Unless someone is rapping it, or drinking profusely while teaching it, it's just not enough to keep my attention, and unfortunately for everyone, I can't see Mr. Rasputin doing either. And this really is nothing against Pete's ability to teach. He's good. He managed to keep his class entertained at least, they chuckled along with his mildly amusing historical references, which is more than I would have been able to do.

I don't know how Storm roped me into this, but I am never subbing. High school is insufferable.

There's a slight chance that Pete might have noticed my glazed over eyes and my desperate attempt to stay awake, because basically out of nowhere he cleared his throat and said,

"Why don't we give Miss Pryde a chance to teach?"

My head snapped up from the text book, and all eyes were on me as I glanced around hesitantly.

"Oh that's... a terrible idea, Pete-"

"No, it is a wonderful idea, come up here." He smiled and motioned for me to join him at the front of the class. I looked around the classroom at all the students staring at me expectantly, and from the looks of confusion and intrigue on their faces this was not a normal part of the "observation process".

I slowly stood up and brought my text book with me up to stand in front of Pete with a frown, "I thought I was supposed to be _observing_." I hissed quietly, with my back to the class.

"You are a hands on learner. Trust me, it will be fine." He replied with a smile on his lips, before turning and moving back to his desk, lowering himself into the seat with a wide grin, "They are all yours, Miss Pryde."

I plastered on a smile and turned to the sea of judgmental 15 year old eyes, clearing my throat in an attempt to steel my resolve. "So... History." I chewed my lip with a wry little smile, " _The Revolutionary War_. Anyone see Hamilton?"

Everyone's hand darted up, and I'm assuming Piotr sensed where I was headed (definitely rapping) so he cleared his throat, " _Read_ , Katya."

"Right." I nodded, looking down at the text and thumbing it open to the page he'd left off on, and starting on the next paragraph. I would pause every so often and Pete would interject some little knowledge nuggets and answer any questions, and then I would continue reading out loud. It was going really well, and I was beginning to feel much more comfortable at the front of the class, even though I wasn't really _teaching_. It was helping me "observe"... or whatever.

And then of course, that all came to a screeching halt.

The door at the back of the room suddenly slammed open, bouncing violently off the door stop as Gambit hovered in the doorway with his jaw twitching with anger.

"You." He pointed at me, and I saw Piotr jump to his feet through the corner of my eye.

"Gambit-"

"You left your f***ing phone."

" _Gambit_." Piotr snapped sharply at the use of profanity.

"You left your phone with _Rogue_ , Kitty." Remy continued as he stepped into the room, "And that stupid, loud mouth piece of shit ex-boyfriend left a nice long message about _Mystique_. For a secret agent, that guy is _shit_ at keeping a secret. He should be fired."

My eyes went wide and I gaped at him as his words sank in. I'd left my phone with Rogue, because I was supposed to be de-stressing, and the only reason I would have gotten a call would have been something regarding the wedding. So I left her my phone, and my voicemail password in case the photographer called back while I was busy _relaxing_. I did not think that part through.

"Mr. Gambit owes like, $15 now." A cute little brunette girl observed from her spot in the second row, and Piotr nodded solemnly.

"You have _got_ to stop doing this, Remy." He sighed, "Parents are starting to complain."

"F*** _parents_." Remy spat, causing the students to laugh, because of course they would laugh.

And then Rogue was suddenly there. Standing behind Remy, looking absolutely livid.

"You f***ing idiot! You can't just barge in, it's a f***ing classroom, they're trying to f***ing learn!" She snapped at him, before hauling him backwards out of the room, "Have some f***ing respect!" She added before slamming the door behind her.

We all stared at the closed door, where the two of them were still fully visible, and partially audible, through the little rectangular window, and then the little astute brunette girl said,

"$30 for Miss Rogue."

"Yes. _Thank you_ Kaitlyn." Piotr clipped, apparently fed up with Kaitlyn's helpful swear jar tally. I glanced over at Piotr and jerked my thumb towards the door.

"I'm just gunna..." I trailed off with a nod before shuffling through the class, phasing my way out through the door and into the hall.

"I cannot _believe_ you two!" Rogue began the second she saw me, visibly struggling to control the volume of her voice as she clenched her hands into tight little balls, "What the f*** were you thinking?! How could you possibly think this would have been a good idea, in those tiny, stupid little brains of yours?!"

"Woah!" I protested, holding up a hand, "Back up. This was _not_ my idea. Like, at _all_. Remy wanted to find Mystique, not me! I knew it was a bad idea, but I humoured him!"

"You were using f***ing MI13 resources!" She shouted, apparently giving up on controlling her volume, "That's _humouring_ him?!"

"That's what he wanted! He wanted me to ask Pete for help, you seriously think _I_ wanted to ask Pete for _help_?!" I raised a very good point, and Rogue's stance relaxed slightly. "He emotionally manipulated me. You know how good he is at doing that."

She seethed at me silently for a moment before flicking her eyes over to Remy and scowling, "You're a f***ing idiot." She ground out, before spinning on her heel and marching back down the hallway.

Remy turned to me, making no indication of wanting to follow Rogue, and growled, "How could you let me do this!?"

It caught me off guard enough that I was completely speechless, so he continued his wildly unfounded accusations.

"You _knew_ she would hate it! Of course she doesn't want Mystique at our wedding, why the f*** didn't you try to stop me?!"

" _What_?!" I gaped, unsure if I was actually hearing these words coming out of his mouth, " _Let_ you?!"

"She's probably gunna call off the wedding now, you know that. It's your fault."

" _No_." I barked firmly, "This is not my fault. This is _your_ fault. This was your stupid hair brained idea, and I only went along with it because you hate me right now, and I was sick and tired of all the bitterness!"

He crossed his arms and rolled his eyes, "I don't _hate_ you." He said with a sneer which totally contradicted what he was saying.

"Are you kidding me?! With all the open hostility you've been sending my way for the past two weeks?! You totally hate me!"

"I don't know _what_ you're talking about." He rolled his eyes, "You're just making up excuses so I won't be pissed at you for f***ing things up with Rogue."

"You don't _get_ to be pissed at me anymore." I snapped, which apparently was not the response Remy was expecting, based on the look on his face, "It's _my_ turn. I get to be pissed. So I moved away, and so I don't call as much as I probably should. I'm _**busy**_. I **_work_**. Like, a real ass job, and I work all the goddamn time. On call 24/7, for everything. Literally, every mother f***ing thing. I don't get weekends off, or lunch breaks, or bathroom breaks. That's right, I don't even get _bathroom breaks_ , Gambit. I have peed in more bushes than any grown, professional woman should ever have to! So don't give me your horse shit whiny little bitch act because I don't have time to call you. I don't have time to call _anyone! **Ever!** **NOBODY!**_ So I get put on mandatory stress leave, and for some crazy ass reason, I decide to fly back to this f***ing _ **insane asylum**_ to help _you_ , only to be met with your cargo plane of emotional baggage! Are you f***ing kidding me right now?! Are you?! Are you trying to kill me of an **_ulcer_**?! Because if you are, I will come back as a ghost, and I will haunt the **_HELL_** out of you, Remy. I swear to God, it will be my dying wish to f*** with your brain, for the **rest of your life!** "

We silently stared at one another, the only sound was that of my ragged breathing, until Remy knit his brow.

"Well it's a goddamn good thing they put you on stress leave, you carry a _gun_." He glowered, "Remember when you tried to run me down with your car?"

I closed my eyes and forced out a soothing breath, which was completely ineffective, "I did not try to run you-"

"Agree to disagree." He interrupted, holding his hand up with a frown, "An' why the f*** are you planning a wedding if you're on _stress leave_?! It ain't even _your_ wedding."

"It's not that big of a deal." I explained, finally feeling the calm seep in, "My therapist gave me some St. John's Wort, which _sounds_ disgusting, but it's a natural remedy for anxiety."

"You need to get laid."

"What?" I ground out through clenched teeth.

"I mean it, minette. You're wound up tighter than a cheap watch, ain't no better natural remedy in the world than some time spent on your back." He winked.

I sighed and squeezed my eyes shut, pinching the bridge of my nose, "Yeah, well I don't think _that_ remedy is covered by my drug plan."

"C'mon petite, a tight little ass like yours don't need to pay for sex. I'm sure we can find you someone, I'll be a great wing man. It's too bad Alex is with Lorna now, he would have been my first choice..." He trailed off thoughtfully, scrubbing the stubble on his chin as I peered up at him through narrowed eyes, "You try Wisdom? As much as I hate the guy, we all know he wouldn't kick you out of bed for eatin' cookies."

"Please, God, shut up." I groaned, "You're the worst, I don't know why I thought it would be a good idea to come back and help you. Maybe I should just go home."

"Oh stop it." He clipped, running a hand through his hair as he glanced down the empty hallway with a sigh, "Look, maybe I've been... a bit of a dick-" I snorted, and he continued, "-But you know we need you here, Rogue can't plan a wedding to save her damn life. Although to be fair, she's probably tryin' to figure out how to send that ring back to Amazon as we speak. She'll do it. She's still got the box."

"She's not going to cancel the wedding." I said firmly, sensing that even though Remy was putting on a show of bravado, he was at least 20% worried that Rogue would actually dump his ass because of this. "Let her brood in silence for a little bit and then talk to her. You made a really stupid move, but your intentions were good, and that's worth something. Probably."

He worked the muscles in his jaw silently and gave me a nod, glancing down the hall again before reluctantly wrapping his hand around my arm and tugging me in for a chaste hug. Seriously, this guy has zero issue with PDA, but when you take the sexual aspect out of it, he suddenly becomes awkward and uncomfortable. He's got the emotional maturity of a tick. Such a wounded puppy.

The hug was quick, and he pulled away with his lips pressed into a thin line. "I'm glad you're here, _minette_." He cleared his throat, glancing back into the classroom through the window and hauling his wallet out of his back pocket, flipping it open and slipping out a $50 and handing it to me. "There's some extra there. You know, for next time."

"Um... you owe way more than $50, Rogue dropped at least 5 f-bombs. I'm sure of it."

Remy snorted as he tucked his wallet back into his pocket, "I ain't payin' her tab. I don't care how mad she is at me."

You really picked a winner, Rogue.

The second I stepped foot back in the room, everyone's eyes were on me.

It was pretty clear that they'd been listening intently and not at all reading, as I presume they should have been, and Piotr hadn't even tried to fight it. He just gave in, knowing that it's futile to try and push against the Remy/Rogue drama tornado.

"Um..." I said dumbly as I moved to the front of the class, handing Pete the $50, "Swear jar."

Pete reached below the desk and produced said jar, which was _alarmingly_ full, and I stuffed the bill into the slot in the lid.

"So..." I cleared my throat, "Where were we?"

"You yelled at Mr. Gambit." Kaitlyn blurted out, while the rest of the class continued to stare at me as if I were a unicorn. "Nobody's yelled at him like that before."

"Only Miss Rogue." Another student added and I rolled my eyes over to Piotr.

"Seriously? _Nobody_?" I scoffed and Piotr gave me a shrug, "I think you guys are probably mistaken. Anyway, back to the chapter-"

"Everyone is scared of Mr. Gambit." Another girl said with her eyes wide with wonder, and she swooned a little bit, "He's so dangerous..."

"Oh brother," I grumbled and held up my hand, "Why are we calling him _Mr. Gambit_?!""

"That was his choice." Pete answered with a tiny smile, "He insisted. He said Mr. Lebeau was too uptight sounding, and it wasn't fair that Rogue got to be Miss _Rogue_... there was a whole meeting about it."

"Of course there was." I muttered, "Alright, Mr. Gambit is not _dangerous_." I stopped and turned back to Piotr with my lips in a frown, "Okay, well maybe he is. A little. But that's not a good thing. It's a _bad_ thing."

"It's a _very_ bad thing..." Another girl purred.

"No, don't- stop that." I sighed, "Alright, listen up girls. The dangerous boy, while incredibly attractive _initially_ , is a horribly unwise investment, if you catch my drift. _Avoid_ the dangerous boy at all costs. You will not change him, and you will get hurt. And possibly pregnant."

I turned to Piotr with a little half smile who nodded in agreement with my impromptu lesson, and then I turned back to the kids again. "Okay, _now_ where were we-"

"Miss Rogue didn't get hurt, or pregnant." Some little brat commented with his stupid little brat grin, and I huffed out a breath in irritation.

"Miss Rogue is not a good example." I said, choosing to leave out the fact that she _almost_ wound up pregnant. "Miss Rogue is the exception to the rule, and she is just as screwed up as Mr. Gambit. Don't be like Miss Rogue. Find a better role model. _Okay_ , back to the lesson-"

A hand darted up from the back of the class and I stifled a frustrated groan before giving the girl with purple glasses and side french braid a nod.

"Was your secret agent ex-boyfriend _dangerous_?"

My eyes widened, and I felt my face grow warm as the class wavered between amused and intrigued.

"Uh... what- how did you-"

"We could hear like, everything you said." Glasses McFrenchbraid said with a little 15 year old eye roll, "You guys were _not_ quiet."

I blinked for a moment, shifting my weight from one foot to the other with an immense amount of discomfort, "No... he wasn't _dangerous_. Why don't we get back to the text-"

"Is he really a secret agent?!" Another student asked as their hand shot up in the air, not even bothering to wait for me to call on them.

"Are you?!" Someone else called out.

"Did you really try to kill Mr. Gambit?!"

"Have you ever killed someone?!"

"Do you carry a garrote?!"

"Do you have suicide pills in case you get captured by the enemy?!"

"Do you carry them in your cheek?!"

"Show us your pills!"

I looked back at Piotr with a pathetic little whimper, and he grinned in response, "Alright everyone, why don't we save the questions for Miss Pryde for _after_ class-"

"Do you really have a _gun_?!"

"Are you a better shot than Hawkeye!?"

I scoffed and rolled my eyes, "Nobody is. Trust me, he won't shut up about it. That guy is such a d-bag..."

"Oh my gosh you know Hawkeye?!" One of the girls squealed, and then _all_ the girls squealed.

I don't _get_ the whole thing with Hawkeye. I really don't.

"He's such an arrow snob." I sniffed, "I tried to get him to use a gun once, because you know, this isn't the Hunger Games..." I trailed off and cleared my throat when I realized that I was feeding into their total and complete distraction, "And you know, The Hunger Games were a lot like... The Revolutionary War. Many people have drawn comparisons between Katniss and... Alexander Hamilton."

"Do you know Iron Man?!" A boy near the front of the class interrupted my amazing segue back into the lesson.

"Who do you think would win in a fight; Mr. Rasputin or the Hulk?" Another boy piped up, and I heard Piotr scoff behind me.

"Obviously the Hulk. I am not 15 feet tall." He shook his head and added, "But I would _definitely_ beat Hawkeye."

And that was the end of attempting to teach anything. The class erupted into a fit of laughter, and I smirked at Pete and clicked my tongue against the roof of my mouth, "I don't know... size isn't always a factor. Remember when I took down Sabertooth?"

"You beat _Sabertooth_?!" Kaitlyn gaped in awe and I smugly grinned at her.

"Twice."

Pete knit his brow playfully and cocked his head, " _Twice_?"

"Yes, twice, it was totally two times."

"I don't even technically remember it being _one_ time-"

"It totally was, shut up!" I giggled and swatted at him.

"You really just look for any opportunity you can to drop that into conversations, don't you?" He chuckled and I rolled my eyes,

"Of _course_. Can you blame me?!" I turned back to the class and shrugged, "See kids, size doesn't matter. Never underestimate yourselves."

"Yes but, do not go _looking_ for trouble." Piotr added for the class before turning to me with a tiny grin on his lips and a twinkle in his eye, "And it was _definitely_ only once. I am pretty sure I would remember."

"Oh you're _pretty_ _sure_ , are you?" I countered playfully, "Because I'm _pretty sure_ I remember pepper spraying a certain Sabertooth, and then rushing off to _your_ rescue."

"That does _not_ count." He laughed, " _Rogue_ knocked him out."

"While I protected you. You're _welcome_."

He rolled his eyes up to the ceiling and pursed his lips into a grin, "Although you did manage to hit him with your car while going in reverse, narrowly missing Gambit-"

"Oh my God, I totally forgot about the car!" I gaped excitedly, "Remy keeps bitching about me almost hitting him with the car that I literally forgot why I was driving at him in the first place! I hit _Sabertooth_!"

"So that is _maybe_ twice-"

" _Three times!_ "

The sound of Storm clearing her throat from the doorway brought everyone's attention to the back of the room where she stood, silently watching us with her eyebrows arched judgmentally.

"A word, Kitty?" She asked, before slipping into the hall where she waited for me to join her.

The class let out a collective _Oooooooooh,_ as they all turned back to stare at me, whispering among themselves that Miss Pryde was in _truh-bull_.

"I bet Mr. Rasputin could help with that _stress release_." One particularly smart-assed boy said from the back row, causing everyone to burst into a fit of giggles, as I slipped my way through the room and out into the hall, leaving Pete to do the scolding all on his own.

When I stepped into the hall and shut the door behind me I frowned, "I'm so sorry Storm, Remy showed up and started freaking out, and everything kind of went downhill from there."

"Of _course_ he did." She sighed rolled her eyes, "Remy always gets the students riled up, that's why we don't let him sub anymore. That, and because of the time he tried teaching an impromptu sexual education class in lieu of Geography. Granted, it _was_ very educational, in a way. There were diagrams..." She eyes glazed over in a far away look and shook her head slowly, "So much detail."

I grimaced at the thought of these detailed diagrams ruining those poor teenaged minds and Storm shook the thought from her head.

"At any rate, I suppose it's my own fault." She flipped a hand towards the closed door, indicating that she was back to talking about me and my failures as an adult, "I should have placed you with Warren, not Piotr. Though in my defense, I assumed you wouldn't blatantly flirt with your ex-boyfriend in front of a class full of children." She shot me a wry grin as she started down the hall, and I snorted at her with a dramatic eye roll, falling in step next to her.

"We were not flirting, we were just having fun." I said with a simple shake of my head, "Seriously, don't... say things like that. Rumors around here spread like wild fire."

These people are seriously hard up for gossip, Rogue wasn't kidding. If only Storm knew what they were saying about her.

"I'm aware." She chuckled lightly, "We'll try observing another day, alright? Perhaps next time I'll have you sit in with Dazzler instead."

I nodded, because again, it's impossible to say no to Storm -even though I still don't know who Dazzler is- and then she was off, zooming down the hall like a woman on a mission. I'm pretty sure Storm single-handedly runs the entire school, all on her own. I mean, no offense Professor, but I don't see you zipping around looking for people to manipulate into subbing.

That's poor dedication.

* * *

 **A/N- Ahhh I loved this chapter. I loved re-reading it, just as much as I enjoyed writing it the first time around. Which is nice, because I'm currently on a group of chapters that have me cursing life itself and questioning my very being.**

 **Alright, it's not *that* bad, but the closer I get to the ~*~climax~*~ the harder I'm finding it to write, because so many pieces of the puzzle need to be put together, and I get overwhelmed easily.**

 **But you wanna know what helps me go on? Reviews. I'm not even exaggerating here you guys, I get a burst of energy when I see how much you guys enjoy this junk. Like when Doc and Marty are stuck in 1885 and they need to use the train to push the Delorean over the unfinished bridge, and they have to keep using these like... science logs or whatever, that accelerate the heat of the fire in the boiler and give the train a burst of speed... This analogy got away from me really fast.**

 **Basically, your reviews are like magical logs.**

 **LEGNA- ... I have no words. Your second review left me speechless, with laughter. I adore Lucille Bluth and now I'm considering making this happen.  
**

 **Anonymous Guest Reviewer- I'm sorry, but no, Kitty will not be speaking in a British accent. While I relate to that trope on a personal level, I find it overdone and rarely ever funny anymore sadly. But maybe this will help? 'Ello guvnah! Chip chip, cheerio! Top of the mornin' to ye- oh no, see, I went Irish. Damn.**

 **Notsosecretgeek- Bagels and Donuts; Round food, for every mood!- Chandler Bing. The thought of a donut wall bums me out because it's just so tacky. But my Rogue *insisted* that it's cute, and so I allowed it, even though she also thinks TOMS and Jeremy Renner are cute. In a weathered, catchers mitt sort of way.**

 **Spasticat- It's cute that you think anyone of note has read my crap. The first 20 chapters of BMOKP is torture, I'm surprised anyone has gotten this far. ;) Also, please feel free to use Organ as your official 'ship name.  
**

 **And to everyone else, thanks so much! Next chapter is Henri and Mercy, and I cannot freaking wait. I am so excited for you guys to meet Remy's crazy family (my version of them, at least.) You'll see! You'll all see!**


	6. The Cockpit

_**A/N- Once again, thank you all for the reviews. You guys are the best.  
**_

 _ **I have been ridiculously excited to post this chapter since I wrote it WEEKS AGO, I can't wait to read your thoughts on it... extra points if you can guess who Henri is based on!**_

* * *

The following does not reflect the views or opinions of Marvel or the author known as 'Kinetically Charmed'.

 **Entry number six:**

In case you were curious (and I know you were) the wedding is still on.

And Mystique is _definitely_ not invited to the wedding. Just in the off chance that any of you out there were still hoping for a mother/daughter reunion, Rogue made it VERY clear that no one is contacting Mystique. So, basically I now owe Wisdom a favor for nothing.

That being said, Rogue was incredibly mature about the entire situation.

Eerily so, actually. She laughed the incident off and explained that they were in an adult relationship, and if she dumped Remy every time he did something massively stupid, they wouldn't have made it one year. Which is a good point.

I was impressed with her maturity, until she add that Remy had better watch his back because she is not above revenge, and then declared war on his ass.

Seriously, this is my role model of a healthy adult relationship. I need new friends.

Anyway, it's been 3 days, and she hasn't pulled out the big guns, so part of me is hoping that this whole thing is behind us. I mean, I know it's not. I know it'll come back in some way, but I'm clinging to the hope that she'll just let it go. And also that when she eventually does fire on Remy, she doesn't fire on me too, since apparently I was an accessory to the crime.

I know that I'm safe today, at least. Because it's my birthday.

Please save your well wishes, I stopped caring about birthdays about 2 years ago. Seriously, everything after 25 is just downhill. I'm slowly dying, one day at a time, I don't need to celebrate a birthday to remind me of that. But I also enjoy presents, and parties, and cake, so it's kind of catch 22.

This whole day has been amazing, for completely un-birthday and incredibly sadistic reasons of course. Remy has been pacing around like an anxious father-to-be all day long, trying to mentally prepare us all for his brother and sister-in-law. At least that's what he says, he's trying to prepare _us_. It's pretty clear he's trying to prepare himself too. They're planning on staying the entire weekend, and leaving on Monday. Brother bear will go with us for a suit fitting on Sunday, and I'm assuming Rogue will be obliged to take sister bear dress shopping with us tomorrow... which gives us an excellent excuse to not stay out too late tonight at this "party".

Because again, I'm old, and if I'm not in bed by 12, I will turn into a pumpkin. A very cranky pumpkin.

We arrived at the bar shortly after 9, and by _we_ I mean everyone. Like... _basically_ everyone. I think that Longshot guy, Warren, Professor Xavier and Dr. McCoy were the only adults to stay behind. Even Jean and Scott found a babysitter to watch Rachel so they could join in on the entertainment of meeting Remy's brother. And since Henri and Mercy weren't staying with us at the mansion, we all opted to just meet them at the club.

The "club" was the establishment formerly known as _Gentlmen's Choice_ , and currently known as the _Cock Pit_. And yeah, it's still a gay bar. I don't know why everyone always defaults to a gay bar, but there we have it.

Rogue and I found a table near the back and slid in with our drinks in hand, watching with amusement as our group of misfits took over the dance floor. And they weren't even drunk yet.

"Don't drink too much." I warned her as I slowly sipped my fruity drink, "Trust me, you don't want to go dress shopping with a hangover."

She let out a dramatic groan before taking a big mouthful of her drink, "If I drink enough tonight, maybe I'll still be drunk tomorrow."

"Yeah, sure. And when you buy something that looks like it belongs in Emma's wardrobe as your wedding dress, I won't try and stop you." I smirked at her and she rolled her eyes, setting the glass down on the table. She totally knew I was right, she's going to want to be in her right frame of mind while dress shopping.

Remy slid into the booth next to Rogue with his beer in hand, anxiously casting a glance over to the door with his knee bopping up and down beneath the table.

"Would you calm down?" Rogue clipped, pushing the beer bottle towards his mouth, " _Calm down_."

"You're supposed to be distracting me." He frowned at me, as if I should have known that this was in my job description as Rogue's maid of honour.

"Oh." I looked around quickly for something shiny to distract Remy with, my eyes settling on Logan sitting alone at the bar with a beer in his hand, "Did you hear about Storm and Logan?"

" _Everyone_ has heard about Storm and Logan." He snorted and exchanged an amused little look with Rogue, "You been gone too long, minette. Maybe if you woulda called now and then, you'd have heard about 'em too."

"Are you _ever_ going to drop that?"

"I'm just _sayin_ ', you're so far behind on your gossip." He grinned and took a drink of his beer. "An' the real question is, do you think it's true?"

I snorted, "Of course not. Logan and _Storm_?" I jabbed a finger to where Storm was animatedly chatting with one of the presumably gay patrons of the bar, like the little ray of sunshine that she is, before turning back to the silent grump sitting alone at the bar. "It makes no sense at all."

"Opposites attract, minette." He smirked and gave me a wink.

"Oh please, don't give me that crap. Sure, sometimes people who are opposites tend to find one another, but look at the two of you. You're practically one person. It's like you have one brain."

"That's not true." Rogue argued with a thoughtful frown, "On the surface we've got lots in common, but beneath that we're pretty different. _You_ an' Remy, you two are more alike than _us_ two. Maybe it's an extrovert thing-"

"Oh God please no." I groaned, dropping my head back against the booth, "I thought you were done with your psych student kick."

Rogue, the perpetual student. That's right guys, she's _still_ in college. She's _still_ undeclared, and weighing her options. She's bounced everywhere, from her psych student phase, to criminal law, to forensic science, to interior design, to _artist_ , and I wish I were making these up but I swear, but it all happened. I used to be supportive of her taking her time and making the right decision, but it's been nearly 7 years now, and at a certain point it's like, damn girl. Shit or get off the pot. Unless you're attending college to become a doctor, 7 years is too damn long.

"I _am_." Rogue snapped defensively, "It was just an observation. You two are very much alike, whether you want to admit it or not."

Not. Very much not.

"Oh shit." Remy grumbled suddenly, downing his beer in one massive gulp, his nervous eyes settling on the doorway, "They're here."

Upon first impression, there was absolutely nothing extrodinary about Henri and Mercy Lebeau. I mean that in the good way. In the, _I have no idea what your problem was, Remy_ , way. I mean, they were both very attractive people in their own right; Petite little Mercy with her blonde hair styled in a pixie cut, big brown doe eyes and a cute little dress that swished around her legs when she moved, and Henri the tall, lean, clean cut brunette with soft blue eyes, a jaw that could cut glass and a smile that belonged in a toothpaste commercial. I know there's a significant age difference between Remy and his brother, but damn if that man couldn't pass for 30...

He was attractive. So sue me.

The moment they caught sight of Remy, both of their faces lit up, "There's my brother!" He joyfully gushed before yanking Remy in for a massive hug, only to be joined by Mercy moments later. Remy looked massively uncomfortable in the middle of this Lebeau sandwich, until finally Henri released him, clapping him on the shoulder with one hand and affectionately patting him on the cheek with the other, "How have you been?! Are you sleeping alright? You look tired, are you taking those vitamins I sent you? They will literally add five years to your life."

"Henri, let him breathe." Mercy beamed, her cute little button nose crinkling up slightly when she smiled up at Remy, "We've missed you so much, Mimi!"

Rogue and I exchanged an incredibly amused look. _Mimi_. There is no way in hell Mimi is ever going to live this down.

He knew it too, because he glanced at us through the corner of his eye before rubbing the back of his neck with a forced smile, "Uh, yeah-"

"Have you grown?" Mercy shook her head and took a small step back to get a better look at him, "I swear, you look taller! An' look at your hair, it's gettin' so long..." She observed, reaching out to brush her fingers through his perfectly crafted hair. She fixed him with a watery little smile and knit her brow, "I just can't believe you're getting _married_..."

"Yeah." Remy replied with a tight smile as he gently pulled her hand away from his hair, "Had a big growth spurt in my 20's. Anyway, Mercy, Henri, this is my fiancée Rogue." He said, flicking his hand towards Rogue, trying to get this whole thing over with as quickly as possible.

Mercy bit her lip with another watery smile as she looked at Rogue, "It is so nice to finally meet you."

Henri extended a hand for Rogue to shake and grinned warmly at her, "The mysterious fiancée! Tell us about yourself! I want to know literally everything about you."

"Nope, we're not doin' that." Remy sighed, looking back towards the bar longingly and I huffed out a breath, coming to the conclusion that he must have forgotten I was sitting there.

It would not be the first time.

So I stuck my hand out towards Henri with a smile.

"Kitty Pryde, maid of honour."

Henri turned his mega-watt smile on me, "Kitty Pryde!" He shook my hand and cocked his head, "That is a fantastic name!"

"Thanks, I got it off a hair dryer."

Henri laughed at my Simpsons joke, which he totally didn't get, and then the two of them happily joined us in the booth.

They really seemed like incredibly pleasant people, which is a little bit concerning considering they technically run a major crime ring in New Orleans.

"This place is stupendous!" Henri observed with a grin, his eyes excitedly moving around the room to soak it all in, "I love the ambiance."

"Do you come here often?" Mercy asked innocently, with her arm looped in her husbands.

"... Yes. Absolutely." Rogue grinned, because sure, why wouldn't they go to a gay club often? Remy's eyes cut towards her with a dangerous little glare.

"There aren't many places to go for a night out in Bayville." Remy said with a forced smile, "It ain't like back home."

"Well I _love_ it." Henri nodded with a little bop and an enthusiastic grin, "It's so _lively_!"

Remy's smile soured ever-so-slightly and he was thankfully saved by Kurt and Piotr joining us. They shook hands and exchanged pleasantries, seeming not at all put off by Kurt's appearance, which is always a very positive character trait I look for in people.

"So are you two the groomsmen?" Mercy smiled at Kurt and Pete and Rogue shook her head,

"Kurt here is one of my bridesmaids." She smiled at the perturbed look on his face as he grumbled about how he _hated_ when she called him that, "And Pete is Remy's best man."

Remy froze instantly, slowly turning to inspect Henri's surprised expression.

"Best man?" Henri glanced around at the lot of us before settling on Remy, "I thought _I_ was your best man."

Pete and I exchanged a look, and then I hid behind my glass, taking a nice long drink.

Remy shrugged and gave Henri a little half grin, "Pete's just... we're kinda like brothers, that's all."

"But I _am_ your brother." Henri pointed out, as if he needed reminding.

Remy's jaw twitched as his grin grew strained, "Yes, but Pete an' I have been through a lot together. Y'know, we worked with Magneto an'... I don't know, we're _friends_."

"We're _family_." Henri insisted and the smile dropped off of Remy's face entirely.

"Don't try and pull the _family_ card, Henri. We're _barely_ family. Jean Luc was _your_ dad, not mine."

Henri reeled back slightly, knitting his brow with a look of hurt on his face, "Remy-"

"I think it's just... you know, Pete and Remy know each other so well." I cut in, trying to diffuse the tension.

"Yeah, totally. I am Rogue's brother, but I am not her... maid of honour." Kurt pointed out with a little eye roll at the thought of calling himself a maid of honour.

Henri held up a hand and smiled understandingly, "Say no more. I know exactly what we should do." He turned to Remy with a toothy nod, "We should have a contest. See who knows _mon frére_ the best, yeah? Winner gets to be the best man!"

"Why don't we just... go get you a drink?" Piotr said slowly, shooting Remy a look that just screamed _play nice_. "I am sure Remy would love to introduce you to the others."

"That is an excellent idea!" Henri grinned with an enthusiastic nod and Remy grit his teeth into a smile, clapping a hand on Henri's shoulder before pushing him out of the booth and steering him towards the bar with Piotr.

"Sorry about my husband." Mercy said with a wave of her hand, "He just... he misses Remy. We all do. Hopefully ya'll are plannin' on visiting more often, once you settle down a bit."

Rogue mumbled an unintelligible response into her glass.

"I'm just so excited to get to know my new sister-in-law!" She gushed with a cute little smile on her rosy pink lips, turning to Kurt, "We're all gon' be one big happy family!"

Rogue took another drink.

"Of course, it'll be much harder to visit once ya'll start havin' little ones." Mercy added, and Rogue began to choke.

My eyes widened as I watched Rogue struggle to catch her breath, dropping the glass to the table and grasping at her throat as she wheezed for a breath before managing to nod and croak out a, "Sure."

"Henri and I couldn't wait to start our family, as soon as we got married we started crankin' them out." Mercy continued, blissfully unaware of the panic she was sending Rogue into.

Kurt on the other hand, was completely aware of the panic, and had begun to laugh.

"How many do you have?" I asked, in an attempt to deflect a bit of the heat off of Rogue, and Mercy rubbed her protruding belly, which her flowy dress managed to mostly conceal.

"This one here will be number four." She beamed up at me and then turned to Rogue, "We've always wanted a big family, how 'bout you?"

"I need another drink." Rogue answered as if she just noticed that her glass was empty, "Did ya'll want somethin'?" She asked, and then slid out of the booth, not even bothering to wait for an answer before making a beeline to the bar.

"So how 'bout you, Kitty? You got a family?" She asked with those sweet innocent brown eyes.

"Oh, well... I'm an only child." I shrugged, "My family is..." I trailed off and gestured towards the group of morons I came with, who were well on their way to Inebriation Town.

"Are ya _single_?" She probed a little more, and I suddenly felt the panic Rogue had been inflicted with moments earlier. It was as if I was looking at my mom, interrogating me for almost being 30 and _still single_.

Although to be fair, my mom said I was _still single_ when I was living with Wisdom. She was not a fan. Apparently you can't lie to your mother about a guys profession, when he's really your secret bodyguard, and then just go ahead and start actually dating him as if nothing ever happened.

She was not a fan at all.

"Yep." I managed to say with a head shake, "I'm... unattached."

"Oh! Well, that's perfect!" She clapped her hands together and looked around the bar, "We're in a bar full of handsome men, we got lots to choose from!"

Sweet, innocent Mercy. 80% of the men there were gay, and the other 20% came with us. There were not lots to choose from.

Story of my life.

"That is a _wonderful_ idea." Kurt grinned widely.

"What's that?" I looked around as if I'd heard my name being called, and then stood up suddenly, "I think Rogue's calling me... I should go see..." I trailed off and pointed in a random direction before making my exit.

I jumped ship and abandoned Kurt with Mercy at the booth to go hide in the crowd. Don't feel too bad for him, it took practically no time at all for Jubilee, Tabby and Alison to swoop in. I'm sure they all had many things to chat about. Probably mostly about _Mimi_.

The night rolled on, and I kept a very mindful eye on the amount of alcohol I was consuming. I know what drinking too much does to me, and I was not about to embarrass myself again by jumping up on the bar and singing an impromptu rendition of _It's Raining Men_. Not again.

Eventually I made my way to the bar, taking the empty seat next to Logan who gave me a silent nod of acknowledgement before taking a pull on his beer.

"So..." I drummed my fingers on the counter top and completely subconsciously found Storm with my eyes in the crowd. Remy had introduced her and Scott to Henri, who seemed to be ecstatic about meeting them for some reason, "What do you think about the brother?"

The corner of Logan's mouth tugged up and he took another drink, "Seems nice."

"He does. _Very_ nice."

"Don't understand why Gambit turned out like shit."

I swatted Logan's arm and rolled my eyes, "Stop."

"I'm just sayin'." He shrugged with another smirk, "He's awfully... perky. Isn't he?"

"He is. Very perky." I furrowed my brow, "Is it weird? Is it just me, that's weird, right?"

"Little bit." Logan nodded, "He talked to me for five minutes about the vegan burger he had on the drive down, and how it 'literally changed his life'."

"Wow." I glanced back at Remy, "Guess Remy turned out well, considering."

Logan chuckled at that and gave me a nod, coinciding that I was at least a little bit right.

"They're so... _opposite_." I said, my eyes lingering on where Henri and Storm were conversing. "Like, oh..." I scoffed and flipped a hand in the air casually, "Like you and Storm."

Logan heaved a sigh and muttered under his breath, "Here we go."

"What! I just... I'm just curious!" I said defensively, "People hear things... everyone is too scared to ask you."

"But not you." He grunted and I fixed him with my best shit eating grin, which caused him to laugh.

"Don't believe everything you hear, Half Pint."

"That's your official stance then?" I asked with a smile and Logan gave me a firm nod.

"On the record, kid."

"Well, good. Because she could do _way_ better than you."

He snorted into his beer, "Ain't that the truth."

"You should probably avoid the sister, by the way, because if you're single now, you'll wish you were dead by the end of the night." I said with a pointed look. Logan knit his brow at me and then craned his neck to glance back at the blonde seated across from Jean at a booth as they chatted away and sipped their waters.

"Thanks for the warning." He smirked and then took another drink of beer.

"I wonder where Rogue took off to..." I frowned as I looked around the club, "Mercy scared her off a few hours ago, talking about babies, and I haven't seen her since."

Logan shrugged, "Haven't seen her."

I sighed, "I should probably try to find her and make sure she's alright..."

"She's _fine_ , kid. This is supposed to be _your_ night, remember? Birthday?" Logan pointed out with a raised eyebrow, "Rogue's a big girl, if she needs you, she can find you."

I chewed my lip and nodded reluctantly before eventually deciding that Logan was right. I mean, it's not really _my_ night, but I am supposed to be taking it easy, and stressing about Rogue's emotional well-being at every moment is definitely a step in the wrong direction.

"You're right." I smiled before ordering my third drink of the evening. Live a little, right? I relaxed on my bar stool and turned to observe the crowd. Tabby and Ray were unabashedly making out in the middle of the dance floor, next to Jubilee who was attempting to drunkenly dance along to _Billie Jean_ , which was definitely a sight to behold. Alison, who was slightly less drunk, was putting on some weird ass rave light show, with what I'm assuming are her powers. And we thought Jubilee was the useless one.

Bobby was looking incredibly uncomfortable across the room, with a _very_ attractive looking man blatantly trying to pick him up. It's the beard, Bobby. Bitches love beards. Also, that guy was way the hell out of Bobby's league, so I'm assuming he was wasted. At any rate, Scott was there with him, doing what he does best; being a cock block. At least in this situation it was helpful, so, way to go Scott, for being helpful.

Storm and Alex had somehow wound up joining Mercy and Jean as the chatted about, I don't know, mucus plugs or whatever, which is super weird. It just is, you guys. I'm not used to seeing Alex not acting like a moron in a bar, jamming his tongue down some random girls throat and then trying to chug an entire keg of beer.

Once upon a time, I was that random girl.

Remy was now MIA. I guess he'd hit his maximum bro time for the evening and needed to go recharge his bro batteries. Henri had migrated over to the other side of the bar where Piotr and Kurt were seated, and judging from the way Pete's jaw was clenched and the look of sheer impatience written on his face, Henri hadn't given up on the best man fight.

I took pity on the poor big lug, and picked myself up off my stool, maneuvering my way along the bar until I was right behind Henri and Pete, quickly surmising that Henri was totally quizzing Pete in an attempt to usurp his best man throne.

"What is Remy's all time favorite book?" I heard Henri ask, and I inwardly scoffed. Remy is not known for his intellectual pursuits. This was totally an unfair question.

Piotr let out a sigh and rubbed a hand over his face, "I don't know-"

"Ha! _Catcher in the Rye_."

"Oh _please_." I snorted, causing both men to twist in their stools to look back at me, "Remy has never read _Catcher in the Rye_. Besides, everyone knows Remy's favorite book is the _Garfield Fat Cat Three Pack, volume 10_."

Piotr smirked and turned back to his beer, "I was going to say _Twilight_."

"She's not wrong." Kurt piped up, reminding me that he was in fact, sitting on the other side of Pete, nursing an umbrella drink. "He _really_ likes Garfield..."

Henri narrowed his eyes playfully at me and wagged his finger with a smile, "Kitty Pryde. Remy warned me that you were a tricky one."

I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms, "I bet he did."

"He _also_ told me that you are planning the entire wedding." He gave his head a shake, "I have to say, you are a _remarkable_ friend."

"Thank you..." I shrugged, feeling incredibly uncomfortable under the weight of his sudden compliment, "It's really not a big deal, Remy and Rogue are my best friends."

"It's a _very_ big deal. Maybe _you_ should be his best man." He gave me a heartfelt little grin.

"Maybe _I_ should be best man." Kurt added, his voice a little bit too loud and his balance a little bit too off kilter. "Or maid of honour..."

"Pete's a _remarkable_ _friend_ too, you know." I pointed out ignoring Kurt entirely, and Henri grinned and then turned back to Pete,

"A little bit of healthy competition never hurt anyone."

"Yet." Piotr said before grumbling something in Russian into his beer causing both Henri and Kurt to tip their heads back in laughter.

"I just had _the_ best idea!" Henri announced with that glimmer of excitement in his eye, "We both plan out a bachelor party for Remy, and Kitty Pryde can decide who wins!"

I frowned, "I don't know... I don't think I should be in the middle of this-"

"I'll do it!" Kurt interrupted loudly and over enthusiastically, and Henri turned his blindingly brights smile towards him.

"Perfect! So I was thinking, we start out at a men's spa; water massage, facials, manicures, it's _incredibly_ relaxing. Next, we head over to this pop up restaurant in the city that specializes in molecular gastronomy, which will _literally_ change your life. Then, we finish off the night with Hamilton 2, on Broadway."

I blinked at him in slight disbelief, almost waiting for him to burst out laughing and tell me that he was joking, and when he didn't, I glanced over to Piotr, "He set the bar pretty high..."

Piotr let out a breath, reluctantly deciding to go along with this game to humour Henri, "Beer. And... probably poker, I guess?" He shrugged and gave his eyes a roll, "And I am assuming Remy will complain if there is not a stripper there."

"I like boobs." Kurt slurred a little bit, "This is _hard_!"

I could see that this competition was going nowhere fast, especially when the judge was three sheets to the wind, so I decided some distraction was in order.

"Is that Mercy over there, Henri? I think she's looking for you..." I lied, pointing off into a random direction, and Henri's eyebrows perked up with excitement before he downed the rest of his beer and left the empty mug on the bar.

"We'll finish this later!" He informed Pete with a clap on the shoulder before leaving to find his wife.

" _Thank you_." Pete sighed, his shoulders visibly relaxing the moment Henri disappeared into the crowd, and I slipped into the seat he'd vacated. "He will not let up. I think he is planning on winning just by sheer force of will."

"I guess he and Remy aren't so different after all." I observed as I took a sip of my drink.

"I could be a best man." Kurt shrugged as he took a large mouthful of his drink, "I could- I could read the Garfield. Is that...?"

Pete and I exchanged a look and I leaned forward to look beyond Pete and knit my brow at Kurt, "You doin' alright over there, Kurt?"

He snorted into his glass with an eye roll, and then suddenly perked up as if he'd remembered something, "Remy's sister thinks we would make a cute couple. Me and you."

I grimaced and shook my head at him silently, and he whined, "Why does everybody _do_ that? I'm not _that_ gross!"

"I didn't say you were _gross_ , Kurt. You're just not my type."

"It's true. You would have to change your name." Pete smirked, and I clicked my tongue and elbowed him.

Not _all_ of my boyfriends have been named Pete. There was a _Lance_ in there too, okay? This is a very touchy subject for me.

"Don't listen to Mercy, Kurt." Pete, looking over to Kurt with a shake of his head, "She thinks that I should ask Jubilee out. She says that I need someone light-hearted and spunky to even me out."

I choked on a laugh and slapped my hand on the bar, "Jubilee! Of course! Oh this will be perfect for the yentas."

Kurt knit his brow as he sucked his drink up through the straw before saying, "I could settle for a Jubilee. I don't wanna die alone."

Nice, Kurt. You should lead with that line.

Piotr plucked the fruity drink out of Kurt's hand and placed it on the bar, "That is enough for you, I think."

Kurt whined in protest, and then stumbled backwards a little bit before nodding, "I need to go lay down..." He stumbled off in the direction of one of the booths and Piotr turned his little grin on me, his eyes dropping down to the drink in my hand.

"Should I be worried about you too?"

"I think you would be able to tell if you needed to worry about me." I replied with a wry little grin, taking a sip of my drink with a wink, causing him to chuckle.

"That is a good point." He nodded thoughtfully and then glanced around, "We should probably keep you away from Alex, just in case."

I choked on a laugh and gave him a smack on the arm. " _One time."_ One time too many. "Plus, he's completely devoted to his new woman, from the looks of it."

"She has been a good influence on him." Pete agreed and then thought about it for a second before adding, "Mostly."

"Well, aside from that, I have no desire to ever be drunk again anyway. First of all, I am way too old for that shit. And second of all, working as a bartender and seeing how ridiculous people get when they're inebriated was enough to turn me off of that nonsense." I sniffed and shook my head, and Piotr knit his brow.

"When were you a _bartender_?"

I shrugged, "Just after I moved to London. You know... for good. MI16 pays _really_ well but they pay their trainees shit. Anyway I needed a part time job for a couple of months and there was this crumby little pub across the road..."

He nodded in understanding and I felt the sudden pang of awkwardness settle around us. After I moved to London, for good, Pete and I didn't talk. For a long while. It was for the best, and obviously we've moved on from that time in our lives, but it's still not exactly a joyous topic of conversation for us. No amount of time can really erase that.

"So did you learn to do tricks?" He asked, turning back to me with a twinkle of amusement in his eye, "Like in that movie... what was it called, _Cocktail_?"

I smiled, thankful that Pete was able to move us past the potential discomfort with ease, and gave him a shrug, "Maybe."

He narrowed his eyes skeptically, "Did you _really_?"

"It was mostly just me throwing empty bottles up in the air and then catching them, I'm not sure if that qualifies as a _trick_." I admitted with a laugh, "I made Doug help me practice. He _hated_ it."

"I can imagine." Pete laughed and shook his head, "I am sure he wanted to help you learn the _real_ tricks."

"Obviously, but I was too scared of like, dropping a full bottle on my face or something." I rolled my eyes and grinned, "And then where would I be if I damaged the money maker? I mean, don't get me wrong. I totally _wanted_ to learn the real tricks."

"You are always so over ambitious." He shook his head fondly and took a drink of his beer. "Even when you are on stress leave, you can't just _relax_."

I sniffed and tossed a hand in the air, "I can totally relax. Look at me now, _relaxing_."

"You are not. You keep looking out for Remy and Henri." Pete snorted.

"And Mercy... and Rogue. Have you seen her? I haven't seen her all night, I'm worried that she-"

"Be _still_." Pete cut me off with a pointed look, "You are going to worry yourself grey."

I instinctively put my hand to my hair and frowned, "That's not even funny..."

"It is true. Some annoying girl once told me that I needed to stop _hugging all the cats_." He smiled and then reached out to brush his fingers through the hair at my temple, "Although it might be too late for you..."

I clicked my tongue on the roof of my mouth and pouted, "Stop! You're freaking me out!"

"Who knows, maybe grey hair will suit you. Like Storm. Or Magneto."

I gathered my hair over my shoulder protectively with a little frown, "Magneto?"

"Hey, he managed to seduce Rogue, almost." He said with a little glimmer of laughter in his eye.

I laughed at that, and voiced my disgust, and Piotr's eyes drifted off to something beyond me with a heavy sigh, "Besides, you have spent all night worrying about Rogue, apparently you should have been worried about Kurt." He said, nodding towards something behind me.

I turned around, searching for what Pete was talking about, when my eyes settled on the sight of Kurt attempting to take his shirt off next to an empty booth, and failing miserably, somehow managing to get one arm trapped inside the shirt above his head. I sighed dramatically and sucked back the rest of my drink, leaving the empty glass on the counter before following Piotr across the club to the increasingly panicked Kurt.

"Kurt. What are you doing?" Pete asked, jerking out of the way of the blue moron's flailing arm.

"I wanted to take a nap!" He answered, his voice muffled by the sweater covering his head, "I just wanted to take a nap!"

I bit my lips and swallowed back a laugh as I reached out to try helping Kurt free his arm and head from his sweater prison. "Why are you trying to take your clothes off?!" I asked, feeling like it was the obvious question, "You need to pull it back down. Hold still, I'll-"

Kurt did _not_ hold still, not even a little. He swung around, causing his tail to whip about, sweeping a full pitcher of beer clean off the next table and right into me, dumping it all over my f***ing jeans. All down my right side, from my waist down. Soaked. In. Beer.

Of course _then_ Kurt was able to rip his sweater free, holding it above his head in victory with a stupid little _woop_ before staggering back a bit and blinking the sight of my wet pants into view.

"What'd you do?" He slurred, his eyes slowly growing wide before he burst into a fit of laughter, "Did you pee?!"

He hiccuped between laughs, and then he made this little _ulck_ sound in the back of his throat before whipping around and vomiting all over the empty booth.

Pete and I were silently staring at one another in that totally overwhelmed sort of way, as the people sitting at the booth behind Kurt who had unwittingly donated their pitcher of beer, began laughing at the entire scenario, clearly on a 30 second delay.

Drunk people are _the worst_.

Piotr sighed and rolled his eyes, turning to Kurt and gently guiding him away from the scene of the disaster.

"Let's get you two home, yes?" He said, ignoring all of the people who had begun to notice this entire fiasco and I sighed down at my wet jeans.

Time to call it a night, I guess

Kurt just barely managed to make it to the door of the club before he decided his legs were no longer working, and Piotr ended up flinging him over one shoulder to carry him the rest of the way out to the car, while I shivered into my coat with my pants quickly becoming frozen stiff as I shuffled along beside him.

I was able to use my powers to help load Kurt in the back seat, and we only smacked his head on the car door once. Pete went to the trunk and pulled out a blanket before laying it down on the passenger seat to protect the upholstery from my wet ass. He stepped back and gestured for me to take a seat with a little grin, closing the door behind me once I was in.

I was trying not to think about how cold my wet leg was, when my eye caught sight of a little pink gift bag sitting on the floor of the passenger side, next to my feet.

"What's that?" I pointed the bag out when Pete climbed in the car, and he glanced towards the bag with a sigh as he pulled his seat belt on.

"That is... for you." He said, turning the key in the ignition. "I did not- no one told me it wasn't a _gift_ party."

My eyebrows perked up and a slow grin worked its way across my lips, "You got me a _present_?"

"There was nowhere to put it." He replied, keeping his eyes on the road, "I did not want to carry it around all evening."

"Can I open it?" I asked excitedly, snatching up the gift bag without waiting for an answer.

He snorted and glanced at me through the corner of his eye, "It is not a big deal."

"Is it pants?" I asked with a hopeful grin, causing him to laugh and shake his head.

Oh well, worth a try.

I pulled the white tissue paper out of the bag, finding it endlessly amusing that he'd actually gone to the trouble of wrapping a present, and pulled out a pair of hot pink mittens and a matching hat with a big white bobble on top.

"Awww!"

"You were complaining about being cold..." He trailed off and shrugged. It's true. I'd forgotten how miserably cold New York is in January. London is cold and damp and dreary, but New York is ridiculous.

"They're perfect!" I pulled the hat on my head without ripping the tag off and nodded happily, tugging the mittens onto my frozen hands, "I love them!"

"The receipt is in the bag if you-"

"Stop it." I smiled happily at him as I adjusted the hat on top of my head, "Thank you."

He clamped his mouth shut with a tight smile and turned the heat up another notch for me.

By the time we arrived home, the mansion was completely dark, and my pants were just leg-chaffingly damp. I helped Pete haul Kurt out of the backseat, avoiding head injury this time, and walked with him up the dark stairs all the way to Kurt's room. He unceremoniously dropped the unconscious idiot onto his bed and then I covered him up with his comforter. That was as helpful as I was going to get.

Sorry Kurt, you're sleepin' in your clothes tonight, bro.

Piotr walked me back to my room through the darkened halls, coming to a stop at my door.

"I can't wait to get out of these _pants_." I groaned, and he gave me a small, sympathetic smile as I pulled my hat and mittens off and stuffed them back into the gift bag.

"Sorry your birthday ended so..." He trailed off and flipped his hand with a shrug, because how exactly do you sum up whatever the hell tonight really was? How?

I smoothed down the mess of hair left by the hat, and gave my head a thoughtful shake, "Actually, I don't think it was that bad."

He gave me a skeptical look and I grinned, "Yeah, the beer thing _sucked_. But... I don't know. I just... had _fun_. I was finally able to just relax, I guess." I shrugged. "I got to meet _Mimi's_ family, which was a big plus; even though you know... they're _insane_."

Piotr laughed, "They are definitely not what I pictured."

"Right?! How scary is it that these people are _criminals_ , they act like... Snow White and Prince Charming or something." I shook my head, "I guess I was expecting a different level of crazy."

"More like Gambit."

" _Exactly_." I giggled, "And now _Mary freakin Sunshine_ is coming dress shopping with us tomorrow, along with the surly bride and hungover Kurt. It's gunna be a _disaster_."

"Oh and do not forget getting Henri fitted for his suit on Sunday." Pete reminded, "I am _assuming_ you are coming again..."

"Of course."

"It sounds like a completely relaxing weekend for you." He teased.

"I could have gone to Cancun." I shook my head and sighed for what might have been, "I _should_ have gone to Cancun..."

"You would have been bored. I know you too well."

He's right. Beaches are only fun if there are like, big waves and water slides, and sandcastle building competitions, and volleyball tournaments. I think we might have just uncovered the source of my _inability to relax problem_... I'm totally doing it wrong.

"Well, at least I won't be _bored_. Tonight certainly wasn't boring, it was fun." I determined with a nod, "I got to hang out with you, and you got me an awesome _present_."

"You have very low standards." He said with a little self-deprecating grin.

"It's true. You help me _chill out._ " I said quickly, giving him a playful little shove, "Apparently I relax by having fun. I needed it."

"You _did._ You don't want to start getting wrinkles already." He smiled and smoothed down some of the stray hairs down that I must have missed.

I looked up at him with a soft smile, as he raked his fingers through my hair with my hand still resting on his chest, and I really don't know what happened. It all went so fast.

I had Rogue's voice in the back of my mind, reminding me that Pete is single, and I had Remy's _suggestion_ for stress relief running through my head, and Pete looked so damn fine, and I'd had three alcoholic beverages over the past 4 hours which meant that I was feeling extra confident in my decision making abilities. So I just leaned forward on my tip toes, and kissed him.

I kissed him _good_.

When I pulled back to search his face, he didn't look horrified. Surprised, maybe, but not horrified. So I took that as a good sign and moved back in, half expecting him to stop me and suggest that maybe we think this over. But instead he kissed me back, backing me up a step and pressing me against my door.

I felt behind me blindly until my hand found the doorknob and I twisted it open, managing to guide us inside and kick the door shut again without breaking contact, which is _pretty_ impressive if I do say so myself. We moved a few steps into the room until Pete's foot came into contact with a bag full of mini whiskey bottles.

"Watch your step." I breathed against his mouth, and he cracked open an eye, pausing when he noticed the mess of craft supplies and mini whiskey bottles and organza bags and tulle strewn about, like Martha Stewart went on a drinking binge in my room.

"Wedding favours." I explained breathlessly, tossing the gift bag onto my dresser, and then his bedroom eyes were back on me.

"Did you still want to get out of those pants?" He asked with a dark little grin.

"Yes, please." I giggled, which turned into a weird garbled sigh when his mouth found the tender spot on my neck. And then he carefully maneuvered us through the whiskey bottle land mines to my bed, where he... very kindly helped me out of my wet jeans.


	7. The Wedding Dress

_**A/N- Thanks for the reviews! Keeping this note short and sweet since I'm updating from my phone! #thefutureisnow #review #blessed**_

The following does not reflect the views or opinions of Marvel or the author known as 'Kinetically Charmed'.

 **Entry number seven:**

I was up bright and early, thanks to the dress shopping extravaganza. We had an early appointment at the bridal shop, because of course, when we'd originally planned it we hadn't counted on the impromptu party and Mimi's family showing up, or Kurt drinking 800 Pina Colada's the night before.

Thankfully, _I_ stopped at three.

So I showered and dressed, finding that my boots from the night before unfortunately now smelled like beer, leaving me to wear my Chucks. I sat down on the edge of my bed to pull them on and tie them up, and felt a stirring in the bed behind me.

"I hope you are not trying to sneak away." Pete said, his voice thick with sleep. "This is your room."

I smiled back at him from over my shoulder as I finished tying my shoe, "No." I twisted around and scooted towards him on the bed, "I was going to let you sleep in."

He turned to face me and grinned at me with bleary eyes, "You didn't need to do that."

"Well, Mr. Rasputin, Saturday is the only day you get to sleep in." I leaned towards him some more.

His grin widened, "Sleep is not as much fun as other things."

I inched towards him some more, "We can do the _other things_ later." I said before closing the space between us and giving him a slow kiss. "I gotta go, if I'm late Rogue will start to stress out."

"Forget about Rogue. Five more minutes." He mumbled against my mouth. I chuckled and started to answer when three sluggish knocks on my door followed by a long groan interrupted me.

"Kitty!" Kurt whined, "Hurry up..."

"I can't, I have to go." I whispered again, giving Pete one last kiss. I scooted across the room and phased through the door, surprising the severely hung over Kurt. He jerked back and then winced and grabbed his head with one hand.

"Don't _do_ that!" He groaned with a frown, "I need to use your bathroom before we leave."

I blinked at him and knit my brow, "Why?"

He gave me a very disdainful look, and moved for my door, "I'll just be a sec-"

"No! Use your own bathroom."

His shoulders slumped and he sighed, "Bobby is using mine! He says the light is better to trim his beard... just let me-"

"Then _hold it_." I said firmly, looking down at my purse to double check I had everything I needed for the day, "We need to go. We're gunna be late."

He stared at me curiously for a second, "You're being _weird_. I need to pee." He announced, before completely ignoring me, and teleporting into my room in a plume of purple smoke. The bastard.

I rushed back into my room to find Kurt standing frozen in the middle with wide eyes and I imagine he was blushing profusely underneath all the fur as he and Pete stared at one another, like a pair of deer caught in the headlights.

"Kurt." Pete said with a small nod, adjusting his hold on the comforter pooled at his waist. "Morning."

Kurt shook his head quickly, "I don't have to go anymore." He lied, ducking past me and darting back into the hall.

I gave Pete a sympathetic smile and mouthed "Sorry" before slipping back into the hall and pulling the door shut again.

I think Kurt was stunned into an embarrassed silence, because we walked the entire way down to the garage without saying a word. Which I was fine with. I mean, it's not like I have anything to be embarrassed about, I just didn't really feel like _sharing_ with Kurt. And if he would have just listened to me in the first place, he could have remained blissfully unaware.

"You're late." Rogue sighed as we stepped into the garage, standing next to the car with her arms crossed irritably.

"Kurt's fault." I replied, causing a wave of embarrassment to wash over his face again, which Rogue apparently noticed. Her eyebrows shot up and she eyed Kurt curiously,

"What happened?"

"Nothing." Kurt replied quickly, crawling into the back seat of the car and wincing at the sound of the door slamming shut, "I might have had too much to drink last night. I think I have a hangover."

Rogue let out a laugh and glanced over at me with a glint of joy in her eye, "Would ya look at that? This days gettin' better already."

I would make a comment about her sadistic sense of glee at her brothers intense misery, but no one is surprised. No one.

Once we were all in the car, and Rogue turned the volume up slightly louder than necessary on the radio for Kurt's "benefit", we drove into town to pick Mercy up. I gave her the passenger seat, because she's making a human being and the least I could do was give her the good seat, and crawled into the back next to Kurt, who gave me a sidelong glance as I buckled up.

We all exchanged pleasantries with Mercy, and then we were off once again, headed to the bridal shop located in downtown Bayville. It's no Kleinfeld's, but whatever.

Mercy was telling us all a story about something hilarious that Henri did the night before, when Kurt finally cracked.

"Were you drunk?" He hissed quietly, and I turned to him with a frown.

"What?"

"Were you _drunk_? Is that why you... why the two of you..."

" _No_. It just... happened." I shrugged, turning back to the front of the vehicle to continue pretending that I was listening to Mercy.

"So are you... you know, getting back together then?"

I shot out a breath and clenched my jaw, " _Kurt_ -"

"I'm just curious!" He whispered angrily, "What are you _doing_?"

"What is your problem?"

"I have to _pee_!" He snapped quietly, "Now answer the question."

"We didn't exactly discuss anything before hand. It's not like we sat down a drew up a contract, Kurt." I replied as quietly as I could. "And I would appreciate it if you would... be _discreet_."

"What?"

" _Shut up_ about it." I clipped, before letting out soft sigh, "Look, I don't know what... it is, right now. And I just don't want to be the new Storm and Logan gossip."

Kurt huffed and rolled his eyes, turning back to the window with a frown, " _Fine_."

"Thank you."

He grunted back at me in response, and that was all he said for the next hour.

It wasn't until he was seated on the plush white couch inside of Bayville's finest (only) bridal shop, that he finally spoke up again, and then it was only to decline a complimentary mimosa. Which is probably for the best, since he then proceeded to complain that the lights were too "loud", and that they were hurting his head.

"I'm sorry you're feeling so ill this morning, shug." Mercy said sympathetically, causing Rogue to roll her eyes, "You let me know if there's anything you need, alright?"

Kurt nodded pathetically and then pouted out his lower lip a little bit, "I could use some water."

"Absolutely, I'll be right back." Mercy nodded without hesitation, jumping to her dainty little feet before disappearing around a corner to try and track down Mr. Pathetic some water.

Kurt shot me a little glare and said, "I like _her_."

Internal eye roll. Apparently Kurt is a moody little bitch when he's hung over. Noted.

"Yeah." Rogue snorted with her back to us as she perused the selection of dresses, "Next time get your own goddamn water. She's _pregnant_ , you're just an idiot."

We had a very busy day ahead of us. We weren't only looking for one dress, we were looking for two. Since Rogue's wedding is literally in a month and a half, we needed to find both wedding and maid of honour gowns, and they needed to be ready-to-purchase. Today. Like, none of this special order from Paris stuff. We were buying off the rack. Our plan was to hopefully help Rogue find a dress first, and then move onto mine to make sure that they complimented one another. However, I had a sinking feeling that things were not going to go quite as smoothly as we'd hoped about an hour into our excursion, when Rogue called her consultant a "moron", and then told her to "piss off" and that she would "do it herself".

And by herself, she obviously meant me.

"It's alright, Rogue." Mercy said with that soothing melodic tone of hers, after the consultant stormed away, "You're stressed out, they'll understand that."

This is pretty much what she's like on a _good_ day.

"I just can't find anything! I'm never gonna find anything..." Rogue groaned, "Why is everything so goddamn _white_?!"

"Do you want the sarcastic answer...?" I asked as I looked through the selection her consultant had left before Rogue had ripped into her. "Not all of these are bad, Rogue. You should just try some."

"No. She didn't listen to me at _all_." She pointed at the last dress she'd tried on, "She brought me _lace_! What am I, a queen?!"

"You're definitely acting like a royal _something_..." Kurt mumbled from his position on the couch, where he'd been lounging for the past hour with his feet up and a cold cloth over his eyes.

"Think back to the magazine you bought." I said, trying to help sooth Rogue before she got frustrated enough to call the whole wedding off, "Do you remember what _shapes_ of dresses you like?"

Rogue looked at me like I'd grown an extra head and lifted a palm to the air, " _Dress_ _shaped_?!"

Mercy pressed her lips into a smile and gently rubbed Rogue's arm, "The silhouette, hon. Did you like the tight style, bigger princess ball gowns, or somewhere in between?"

Rogue knit her brow and thought for a moment before sighing and rubbing a hand over her face, "In between I guess. Definitely not princess. I am not a princess."

"Got it. Not a queen, not a princess." I looked over at Mercy and nodded, "So, A-line, column, empire waist..."

"Mermaid, maybe?" Mercy added, absently rubbing her hand over her belly.

" _No lace_." I added firmly, and Rogue shot me a little glare.

"Alright, you sit tight an' Kitty and I will go pick out some dresses to help you narrow it down. Don't worry, Rogue. I know it's overwhelming, but _try_ to enjoy it. You only get married once." Mercy said with a wink before leading me over to the wall of gowns available for off the rack purchase.

"You're really good with her." I commented as we sifted through the gowns, "Most people would have told her to go to hell by now. You must be a fantastic mother, you have the patience of a saint."

She laughed lightly, "Thank you. I do what I can."

It totally just dawned on me that Remy is an uncle. Uncle Mimi. That is incredibly weird.

"I mean it. She's my best friend, and I love her, but I'm ready to strangle her with one of these satin sashes."

Mercy laughed some more and pulled a gown out to better inspect it, "I like her, a lot. Good southern girl, full o'sass... She really makes him happy, doesn't she?"

Yes. Sometimes twice a day, so I'm told.

"Remy's got a good thing goin' up here." Mercy nodded to herself as she draped the gown she was holding over her other arm, and then rubbed her belly absently.

"So how far along are you?" I asked, glancing down at her swollen belly. "Mimi didn't mention you were pregnant."

She laughed when I used his pet name and shook her head, "Mimi didn't know. I'm only 12 weeks."

My eyes went wide as I failed to hide my shock.

"I know, I'm _big_." She grinned down at her stomach adoringly.

Obviously I wasn't going to say that, but yeah. She's big. Like... Jean didn't even start _showing_ until she was 4 months pregnant.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-"

"Don't be sorry!" She laughed, "I show early. Always have. Us petite girls ain't got enough space, ain't got nowhere to go but out. You'll see."

Well shit. Here I was thinking that Mercy was going to horrify _Rogue_ all day long.

After a few more minutes of picking gowns, we brought our selections back to Rogue, who had tried on one of the consultants picks and was glaring at her reflection in the three way mirror.

"That's pretty!" I said brightly, causing her eyes to snap up at me and glare through the mirror. "It's not?"

"It's f***ing hideous." She bit out, gathering the gown up in her hand to step down off the pedestal, "It's all fluffy..."

"Don't be discouraged, hon. The more dresses you try on, the more we're able to narrow down your tastes." Mercy smiled, moving over to the dressing room to hang up our latest selections up and take away all of the "effing hideous" ones.

Another hour of trying on dresses went by, and all that we'd managed to _narrow down_ was that Rogue liked satin. That was literally it. At this point I was feeling particularly stabby, and decided to wake Kurt up and make him help me look for a maid of honour dress. He begrudgingly obliged and dragged himself up off the couch, clomping over to the area of the store that held the bridesmaid dresses with a frown.

"Seriously, why did you even _come_?" I rolled my eyes as I dove into the rack, flipping through the dresses at light speed.

"Because she's my _sister_." He clipped, pointedly keeping his back to me.

"You should have just stayed home and slept your hangover off." I commented as I pulled a dress out and inspected the colour swatches indicating the colours the dress was available in. Not that this would do us any good, since we didn't have time to _order_ a dress.

"Purple?" He asked shortly, and I was assuming he was referring to the colour Rogue wanted.

"Yes. Dark purple. She made that very clear, _no lavender_."

He grunted and continued on his search, pulling a dress out and handing it to me.

"It's not satin." I pointed out, "It needs to be purple and satin."

He rolled his eyes dramatically and heaved a sigh, irritably hanging the dress back up on the rack.

I eyed him curiously for a second, before turning back to pull out a long satin one shouldered dress, in a deep plum. "Oooh, this is nice!" I hummed, glancing up at Kurt, who didn't even bother turning back to look. "Do you think Rogue would like this purple?"

"Sure." He grunted.

At that point, I gave up trying to talk to Kurt. Clearly he was in a funk about something; probably still sour over the fact that I refused to let him use my bathroom. Whatever the case, it was pointless trying to get the grouch to talk, so we both went about our task in silence. Once we had gathered up 5 dresses, I went to the dressing room to begin trying them on.

I stepped out in the first dress- the plum one- and Rogue pressed her lips together as she looked at me through the three-way-mirror.

"It's long..." She frowned.

"Well yeah, it's long. It's a sample dress, they can hem it." I shrugged, tilting my head and admiring my own reflection. I have damn nice shoulders.

"No, I mean it's _long_." She pointed at it and then her hand it my leg mid-thigh, "As opposed to not long."

"You... want me to wear a miniskirt?" I frowned at her, and she rolled her eyes,

"No, I just... don't like long dresses. On you. You're too short." She said, turning her attention back to her own reflection, "And this dress is terrible. I don't like this..." She tugged a the neckline.

I sighed, letting her unsubtle insult regarding my height challenges pass, and making my way back into the change room, where I realized that all five of our previous selections were floor length dresses. Back to the drawing board.

Kurt and I silently went about searching for a new dress under Rogue's modified specifications, watching Rogue come out every few minutes with a different gown on, all of which she hated for various reasons. Too long, too short, too white, not white enough, too fluffy, too form fitting... honestly you guys. Mercy has the _patience of a_ _saint._

After about an hour of us trying on dresses in tandem, I stepped out in a knee length, a-line satin dress, in the perfect shade of purple, with a bateau neck and an open back that sloped downwards in a gentle v.

"I love it." I said with a twirl, "I feel like Audrey Hepburn!"

Rogue zeroed in on the black bow on my hip and frowned, "No. No way, that bow is hideous."

"They can take off the bow, Rogue."

"It's perfect!" Mercy spoke up, thankfully, her eyes glimmering with excitement, "Oh, I love it!"

"Yeah," I looked down at myself and smoothed my hands over the skirt, "It'll need to be hemmed, and maybe taken in a little bit..."

Rogue looked back at me and pursed her lips, "I do like the colour."

"Yeah?" I grinned hopefully, "And look, it's short!"

She nodded thoughtfully, "It is..."

Mercy beamed and turned to Kurt, "What do _you_ think?"

Kurt looked me over and gave a one shouldered shrug, "I like the bow."

Thanks, Kurt. Remind Rogue of the one thing she hates about the dress.

"I didn't even show you the best part, it has _pockets_!" I said quickly, trying to distract Rogue from the bow, stuffing my hands into the pockets with a grin.

Rogue's mouth dropped open as she stared at my hands, "They can have _pockets_?!" Her wide eyes shot back up to mine, "I want pockets!"

Of course.

For a woman who was trying to convince me to let her buy her wedding gown off of Amazon last week, she was being incredibly picky about her options. You might even say the B word. A word I don't use lightly, because I find it incredibly offensive to stressed out brides.

That's right, _Bridezilla_.

Mercy simply smiled and pushed herself up from the plush white sofa, "Not a problem, chere, I'll go have one of the consultants point us towards some dresses with pockets."

Which... actually turned out to be a problem. As you can imagine, there aren't many wedding gowns with pockets, and there are even less when you take into account all of Rogue's specifications. Mercy and the consultant managed to track down a total of 8 gowns with pockets, 3 of which filled Rogue's specifications.

Rogue tried the first one one while I was being measured for alterations, and it was gorgeous. Like, absolutely gorgeous. She stepped out of the change room in this strapless, ivory satin masterpiece, with a little rhinestone belt around her waist and a full flowing skirt, and I held my breath, watching as she hoisted herself up on the pedestal to look in the mirror.

"I don't know..." She hummed, tilting her head to the side thoughtfully, "It looks too big."

"You can remove some of the crinoline under the skirt to make it less full." The tiny little blonde consultant said, causing Rogue's eyes to snap towards her through the mirror.

"I don't really like strapless... I feel like my girls are gunna pop out." Rogue frowned. I will side with her on this one, her reasoning was at least valid, especially with the pockets. You stuff your hands into those pockets too fast, and your guests are going to be getting much more than they bargained for.

Finally she shook her head and stepped down with a frown, "I'll think about it."

At least she's being reasonable. Most Bridezillas lose all sight of reason. This tells me there is still hope for Rogue.

The second dress was a no. Rogue didn't even bother stepping on the pedestal for this one, she walked out of the change room and sneered, before turning on her heel, back into the confines of the fitting room.

By the time she had the last dress on, our last hope, I had already finished with my measurements, paid for my dress and alterations, and had begun casually perusing the selection of tiaras and veils.

But when she stepped out of the fitting room this time, I knew there was a light at the end of the tunnel. After 5 hours of shopping in this cramped little bridal shop, she finally smiled. Her first real smile in 5 effing hours.

She gathered the skirt in her hand and stepped up on the pedestal, dropping the skirts with another wide grin. And there she stood, in front of the three way mirror, in all her Southern, gorgeous glory. It was a simple enough dress; white satin, full, a-line skirt, with wide sleeveless straps, small beaded embellishments on the bodice and a deep V neck. And I mean _deep_.

Kurt perked up a little bit as he watched his sister stand there, looking all happy and bridal, his eyebrows pinched together slightly, "Rogue..."

"My boobs look _amazing_." She observed as she smoothed her hands over the bead work, "Look at them!"

They did. It seems that the missing ingredient all along was more boob. Remy will be so happy...

Mercy gave Rogue a watery smile through the mirror and shook her head, "You look so beautiful, chere."

I would have said the same, but I was very busy making a concerted effort not to cry. And it wasn't even entirely because of Rogue and how perfect she looked, but also because I knew that we were finally almost done. The end was in sight.

The little happy looking consultant tucked an elbow length veil into Rogue's hair and fluffed it up around her shoulders and that was it.

Rogue nodded, chewing her lip as she fingered the veil tentatively, "This is it." She beamed back at me, "This is the one."

The consultant looked thrilled, probably just by the fact that she knew she'd be getting us out of the shop soon, and began to prattle off our next steps. You know, get her measurements, place the order for the gown, come back in 3-5 months for her first fitting... yeah.

All four of us turned to stare at the consultant and Rogue said, "I don't have 3-5 months. My wedding is in 6 weeks."

The poor little sales woman's face went absolutely white. "I-I'm sorry but... this is just a sample dress, we have to order the dress in-"

"I made it clear when I walked in here that I needed a dress _today_." Rogue snapped. "Why would you go showin' me dresses I can't buy?!"

To be fair, this consultant was a different one from the first one we dealt with. You know, the one that Rogue had told to piss off?

"I'm sorry ma'am-"

"You're _sorry_?!" Rogue snapped, ripping the veil out of her hair, "What the f*** can I do with _sorry_?!"

Mercy stepped forward and held up a hand with an eerily calm smile, turning her attention to the stammering consultant. "Why don't you go get your manager, petite?" She turned to Rogue to give her a wink, "I'll handle this."

The flustered sales girl led Mercy around the corner and into the back of the shop.

"What am I gunna do!?" Rogue groaned, ripping the veil out of her hair angrily as she began pacing around in front of the mirror, "I guess I can... maybe go with the big strapless one?"

"We can look somewhere else." Kurt suggested, like an _idiot_.

She turned on me and frowned, "You told me Amazon was a bad idea! This would have never happened on Amazon!"

Yeah, okay Rogue. This is totally my fault, for not letting you buy your wedding dress off Amazon.

Mercy was gone for 25 tension filled minutes, and then in the blink of an eye, we were surrounded by consultants and seamstresses, all attending to Rogue. Waiting on her hand and foot, taking her measurements, pinning the dress, freshening up our mimosas and everything. And then Mercy was suddenly there with a pleased grin on her face and a stout man in wire rimmed glasses who looked shell shocked, like he'd just been attacked by a tornado or something. Rogue was sent to change out of the dress and I knit my brow at Mercy, noticing the sales slip in her dainty little hand.

"What's going on?"

"I took care of it." She said simply with an easy smile, and when she noticed I was staring at her expectantly, she gave me a shrug, "You didn't think Henri does all the work by himself, did you? Someone had to take Remy's place when he left..."

Dayum. Mercy is a pitbull. She gets shit _done_.

And it only took 6 hours.


	8. Ryan Gosling Tux

**_A/N- Thanks for the reviews! Sorry it's a day late, I'm on vacation and super busy!_**

 ** _So, a few people have expressed interest in knowing what exactly I had in mind for the dress Rogue picked. I hate when people post specific links describing everything they're talking about because I feel like the writing should paint the picture for the reader to use their imaginations, but for the sake of Rogue, this is the dress I used for reference. Google image search "_** Versailles dress Lela Rose _ **" and it's the first result that pops up.**_

 _ **You're welcome :)**_

 ** _Oh also, another reviewer voiced their concern that Remy is too stupid. He really isn't stupid at all, he's just a little clueless sometimes. And because he's actually not stupid, is why Kitty feels comfortable vocalizing how ditzy ge can be. If he really were a moron she would never actually flat out say he's a moron. She's not that mean. ;) Plus, he's pretty, what does he care about brains? (That's a joke guys)_**

The following does not reflect the views or opinions of Marvel or the author known as 'Kinetically Charmed'.

 **Entry number eight:**

Yesterday was just beyond exhausting. I love Rogue dearly, but I really needed some time away from her. For her safety. Unfortunately for me, I jumped out of the pot and into the fire, since today's adventure was suits with Henri. And believe me, I thought long and hard about whether or not I really needed to tag along this time... eventually I decided that it just wasn't worth the risk that Remy would suddenly decide to rent a neon orange tuxedo, and reluctantly went along. At the very least, I knew I had Piotr on my side, since Kurt was still not talking to me.

From the sound of things, I got off easy yesterday. Henri took Remy and Piotr out on a guys day, which sounded just... awful. Just way beyond worse than watching Rogue sneer at dresses all day long and dealing with Kurt giving me the silent treatment, and getting a little bit drunk on mimosas. Henri thought it would be a great bonding opportunity to take the boys out on a rock climbing adventure. He knew this place in "the city" which ended up being Jersey city. Which is like, a two hour drive away. In a vehicle, with Henri.

Plus, poor Pete just does not have the body type for rock climbing, he's all solid, bulky muscle. Henri and Remy are these lean muscled spider monkeys, and then there's Pete, this... rhino, trying to climb up a rock wall. Bless his heart.

And then after rock climbing, Henri took them to a _juice bar_.

Gross.

That being said, it goes without saying who won the bachelor party war. There's no way Remy wants a repeat of yesterday, two days before the wedding.

Or ever.

Thankfully, the drive to the mall was relatively quick, even though it was filled with Henri's bubbly commentary the entire way, and I was squished in the back seat between him and Kurt. I'm trying to be optimistic about it. It could have been worse, we could have been stuck in traffic.

We all walked into the store together, and Henri sucked in a deep breath through his nostrils.

"I love the smell of formal wear! Don't you?" He asked turning to Kurt, who side-eyed him a little bit before muttering a response. "Oh look, top hats!"

And here I was thinking that Henri would at least be better than Alex.

The sweet little Italian shop owner made his way out to the front of the store and greeted us as if we were the most important people in the world and was incredibly thrilled to meet the brother of the groom. Who was, in turn, incredibly thrilled to meet Giovanni.

"And how is the beautiful maid of honour _Catarina_ today?" He turned to give me a sly grin, "You are too good to these boys, si?"

"Oh yes, definitely si." I giggled, ignoring the way Remy rolled his eyes dramatically.

"Are you single? You should meet my son, he is very handsome, you would love him."

Before I could even formulate a response, Kurt cleared his throat obnoxiously, "Maybe we can just get down to business?"

"Of course!" Giovanni grinned happily, clapping his hands together, "Let me go to the back and find your suits, we will have this done in no time at all!"

Kurt slid me a silent little glare before shouldering past me to go look at the wall of bow ties, and I noticed Henri and Remy had been drawn to a mannequin wearing a burgundy tux, like a couple of moths to a flame.

I sighed and let my shoulders slump, "Of course."

Piotr gave me a sympathetic little grin and shook his head, "I don't know why you fight it."

"I don't know why I fight it either." I grumbled, making my way over to the two Lebeau's.

"Kitty Pryde!" Henri beamed when I stalked up, "Isn't this suit _tremendous_?!"

"It's _burgundy_." I pointed out, turning to Remy with a quirked eyebrow.

"I like it." He shrugged, thoughtfully eyeing the mannequin, "You think Rogue would like it?"

"You already bought a suit." I reminded him with a frown, "And this is _burgundy_!"

"So what? It's trendy." Remy snipped back at me, "Plus, this is my big day, I'm allowed to wear what I want."

"That's right! Dream big, mon frere!"

I let out a deep breath and felt Piotr's massive hand on my head, gently patting me like a dog, "Stay calm..."

"This is stupid, Remy. You already bought a suit." I repeated, flicking Pete's hand away from me, "And this isn't even in your wedding colour pallet."

Remy squinted at me, "So?! It's burgundy, it goes with purple. And Henri can wear the suit I bought, we'll just get it tailored to fit him."

"That is a _fantastic_ idea!" Henri grinned happily.

"I _knew_ you were gunna be all difficult again today, I should have brought Dazzler along instead. Gimme that colour swatch from your dress." Remy demanded before I had the chance to ask, again, who the hell Dazzler is. He held out his hand and I pursed my lips before reluctantly digging the swatch out of my purse. I brought the swatch along to match Kurt's tie, not Remy's new tuxedo.

Although, I'll admit that the plum of my dress and the burgundy of the tuxedo didn't look _awful_.

I still shook my head hesitantly, "I don't know Remy..." I pulled my phone out, determined to look up someone wearing a burgundy tuxedo to show him how _ridiculous_ he would look, only to have the first result pop up be _Ryan Gosling_.

Of freakin' course.

Upon seeing the look on my face, Remy peeked over my shoulder and beamed happily down at me,

"What's that about lookin' ridiculous? Hmm?"

"It's just- it doesn't... Rogue won't..." I heaved a heavy sigh and tipped my head back dramatically, "Fine. Get your stupid Ryan Gosling tux. But if Rogue hates it, it's your fault."

"Rogue doesn't give a shit, she barely even cares what _she's_ wearing." He grinned down at me victoriously.

"Trust me. She cares. You weren't dress shopping with us yesterday, ask Kurt." I shook my head and grumbled under my breath while Remy and Henri celebrated their tuxedo victory.

We relayed the new plan to Giovanni who was thrilled with Remy's selection, explaining that the Gosling tux was brand spankin' new, fresh on the mannequin this morning, before finding one in Remy's size and ushering all the boys off to the change rooms to try on their boring old grey suits with their black shirts.

I made my way over to the vests and ties with Giovanni, who helped me pick out the perfect matching shade of plum purple for Kurt. Which, incidentally, will go really well with the colour of his fur. So that's an added bonus.

We were picking out black ties and vests for the other three when Kurt emerged from the change room first, his tail flicking to and fro as he grinned into the mirror.

"It's perfect!" He grinned, inspecting his butt hole in the mirror.

That joke is seriously never going to get old.

"The stitching is amazing!" He pointed out, lifting the back of his jacket up for a better look, "It's so comfortable!"

"Yes, we're all very happy for your ass." Remy said as he stepped out of the change room, fastening the buttons on his jacket before stretching his arms out smugly, "More importantly, how hot am _I_? Hmm?"

I begrudgingly nodded my head with a little eye roll, "Alright... I concede, you're hot."

Giovanni checked Piotr and Kurt's alterations out quickly before moving onto Remy's former grey suit, which was now on Henri. Thankfully, Remy and Henri are generally the same size, and I'm suddenly struck by the irony in this entire situation because we genuinely didn't need Henri here to get sized at all.

Do not tell Remy I said that.

Remy was over with Henri, getting pinned into his new Gosling tux for alterations, while I handed the vests and ties out to Kurt and Piotr.

Kurt and I debated over whether or not he should have a black vest or a purple vest, finally agreeing to at least _try_ the purple vest on, and when I turned to check on how Piotr was doing, I honestly couldn't stop myself from admiring the view.

I moved over to stop in front of him with a purr and then grinned up at him as I trailed my fingers down the buttons of his black satin waistcoat, "Oooh, Professor Rasputin, you look awfully fetching today, if I do say so myself."

"I am not a _professor."_ He snorted, continuing to tie his tie.

I clicked my tongue on the roof of my mouth and slipped my hand up to tug on the tie he was adjusting, "I was hoping maybe I could stay after class and you could give me a... private lesson."

A sly grin worked across his mouth as he clued into my little game, "Oh. Well... I might be able to _accommodate_ you."

"Ugh," Kurt groaned with a glare, "I'm _right here_."

I rolled my eyes at Kurt's complaint, but stepped away from Piotr non-the-less. "Alright, put the jacket on so we can see what the purple vest looks like." I directed Kurt, helping him into his grey jacket and stepping back, pursing my lips thoughtfully as I inspected the black shirt, purple vest, purple tie combo.

"What do you think, Pete? Too much purple?" I asked, to which Piotr simply shrugged.

"I think it's too much purple." Kurt replied, "I don't want to look like Veruca Salt."

"Well, to be fair, you're already blue." I said, ignoring the unamused look Kurt shot me and flicked a hand towards the black vest, "Switch it up and see. And then we'll get you all to stand together with Remy to make sure it all flows."

"I feel like you are giving this far too much thought." Pete commented as he slipped his suit jacket on and fixed the collar of his black shirt, "You tend to over think things."

Thanks, Captain Obvious.

"Sometimes. Sometimes she doesn't think things through at _all_." Kurt stated. I wasn't sure where he was going with that so I ignored him ant turned back to Pete.

"Whatever. I just want everything to be perfect for their big day. Is that so terrible?" I explained with an eye roll, "I happen to find over thinking to be very soothing, and relaxing."

Piotr cracked a grin, but didn't point out how ridiculous I sounded in my lame attempt to justify myself. Once Kurt had his ensemble on, with the black vest and purple tie, I ushered him and Pete over to Henri and Remy who were just finishing up their alterations.

Remy apparently didn't give a "rats ass" about the colour of Kurt's vest, and made the unilateral decision that nobody needed a vest. So, no vests it is, I guess.

Once Giovanni was finished pinning Remy and Henri's suits everyone was dismissed to take off their ensembles while I paced around in front of the fitting rooms, mumbling about Remy's burgundy suit.

"It's not that big of a deal, I just don't want to look like I'm matching the groom, you know?" I said, to literally no one, "We need to find another way to incorporate the burgundy in somewhere else. Like... ooh! What if we got some burgundy flowers to go with the purple ones? Burgundy flowers are a thing, right?"

Again, talking to no one.

I pulled my phone out and did a quick google search, discovering that yeah, there totally are burgundy flowers. In fact, they look _adorable_ with the purple Rogue had already ordered. All that needed to be done was a quick call to the florist to request some burgundy calla lilies in the bouquet, which is what I was in the middle of saying when Piotr interrupted my thought process.

"My tie is caught in a knot." He announced from his fitting room, "Could you come help me?"

I was still mumbling about floral arrangements when I phased in through Pete's door, knitting my brow when I noticed that he wasn't even _wearing_ his tie, and that he was in fact half undressed already. I was confused for about half a second, and then I was in his arms, pinned up against the wall with my legs around his waist.

"You need to shut up about flowers." He suggested quietly before moving his lips down my throat and I suddenly forgot all about the flowers. I no longer cared about the flowers. And then his mouth was on mine and my fingers twisted through his hair.

"You look so sexy in that suit..." I mumbled against his mouth and I felt him grin in response. I mean, his mouth was otherwise occupied, it wasn't like I was expecting a conversation.

"My tie is stuck too, Kitty. Why don't you come help me now?" Kurt called out with a heavy dose of sarcasm in his voice, like a bucket of ice water. Pete and I parted, still breathing heavily, and I dropped my head back on the wall of the change room.

I grumbled under my breath as I lowered myself back to the ground, and attempted to compose myself and you know, smooth my hair back down and whatnot.

"Coming!" I called out before stepping out of the change room, to be met with an incredibly unamused looking Kurt and Henri, who simply grinned knowingly at me, but thankfully didn't say anything.

"I fixed it." Kurt lied simply with a shrug, "Thanks anyway."

I furrowed my brow at him, and crossed my arms, "What the hell is your problem?"

"I don't have a problem, do you have a problem?" He shrugged, pretending to pick lint off of the suit jacket draped over his arm.

"I have terrific news. There is a juice bar in this mall! We can all go for a smoothie, on me." Henri announced happily, just as Remy stepped out of the fitting room with his Gosling suit in arm. He heaved a sigh and rolled his eyes dramatically.

"Yeah, terrific news."

"I just don't think it's smart to sleep with someone who is... a _friend_." Kurt said abruptly, and suddenly it all made sense. His pissy attitude with me all day yesterday wasn't because I wouldn't let him use my bathroom, it was because he'd discovered that Pete and I had... been intimate.

My mouth dropped open as I stared at him and Remy knit his brow curiously at me before turning back to Kurt, "Are you guys talking about Logan and Storm? Jesus, I thought you two knew better than to listen to the gossip..."

"I don't think it's any of your business." I said firmly to Kurt who at least had the decency to look relatively sheepish.

"I just... I care about... _Logan and Storm_." He said glancing quickly at Remy, "And I don't want to see anyone get hurt."

I rolled my eyes, "Seriously Kurt-"

"People who basically live together should not be sleeping with each other!" He interrupted quickly.

"Um, gettin' married here. To the chick I was sleeping with while basically living together." Remy frowned.

"That's different. You're in a relationship." Kurt blurted, turning back to me, " _Logan and Storm_ are just fooling around!"

"You don't know that." Remy replied, giving his head a shake, "They're probably not even doing _anything_."

"Oh, they _are_." Kurt scoffed.

Remy threw his hand up in the air, "Well then good for them! Seriously, who gives a shit about what Logan and Storm are doin'? And for all you know, maybe they're not foolin' around, maybe they _are_ in a relationship, and they just don't want everyone talkin' about it!"

"I think it's... probably a little too soon to decide that." I interjected, and Kurt turned his frown back on me. "But he raises a good point about people talking about it. It's nobody's business. We're grown adults, Kurt."

"I just... see this ending very badly." Kurt gave his head a shake of finality and crossed his arms, "There's _history_."

"And we're all aware of that. Thank you." I replied with maybe a bit too much disdain, just as Pete stepped out of the fitting room and came to a stop behind me. I glanced up at him and saw he was wearing an amused little smirk on his face, which earned him a smack to the gut.

Remy's brow furrowed in confusion, "Storm and Logan have history?" He turned to Kurt and frowned, "You lost me."

"Shocker." Kurt muttered under his breath, turning on his heel and heading towards the front of the store. It seems that he's gotten bolder with his attitude towards Remy, now that him and Rogue are making it official, because he never would have blatantly pointed out Remy's stupidity before.

Not that Remy is _stupid_ , exactly. Let's just say it's a really good thing he's pretty.


	9. Miss Pryde: Substitute Teacher

_**A/N- Again, thank you all for the love. I love the love, and I love that you love loving... on... love. Dang it, it got away from me.**_

 ** _I truly look forward to each and every review you guys drop for me, reading your thoughts on what's going on tickles me pink!_**

The following does not reflect the views or opinions of Marvel or the author known as 'Kinetically Charmed'.

 **Entry number nine:**

I am officially a substitute teacher.

Okay, not officially. But by like, a technicality. I'm technically a substitute teacher. I sat in on Warrens class early on in the week, and by the end of the week, I was large and in charge.

Basically they were desperate because Warren and that Longshot guy got called away on a mission, and Rogue was already busy in the Danger Room teaching hand to hand combat. So essentially, it was me or Mr. Gambit.

Storm went with the lesser of two evils.

I gotta say, it wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be. I mean, sure, the kids took advantage of the substitute teacher and "pretended" they didn't have any homework, and "pretended" that Mr. Worthington usually let them do their school work in small groups, and "pretend" that Social Studies meant going on Facebook during class.

Like I was born yesterday. I gave them a little bit of leeway, but Miss Pryde rules with an iron fist. I deal with liars all the time, and I'm used to just beating them into submission.

That was a joke. I mean, I do deal with liars all the time, but there's no beating. I don't pistol whip people, I swear.

Anyway, I think the class quickly learned that I wasn't going to piss around, I'm not a pushover, and they were absolutely not allowed to surf Facebook until _after_ school. I don't think they liked me very much.

Which is exactly what I told Piotr when school was over and I met him in his class, plopped down on his desk with a frown as I watched him erase the blackboard.

"Nobody likes substitute teachers." He said, shooting me a little grin over his shoulder.

"Gee thanks." I huffed and crossed my arms, "It's not a wonder you guys can't seem to keep anyone employed around here. You need someone to whip these kids into shape. Why doesn't Logan teach them for a few days, they'll be too afraid to act out."

Piotr laughed, dropping the eraser onto the holder and dusted his hands off quickly, "Scott says we are trying to avoid lawsuits."

"He's a good lawyer. He could handle it." I shrugged and Pete pulled the chair out at his desk and sat down, shooting me a wry little grin before turning to flip through some papers. "Did you do a pop quiz today?" I asked, cocking my head to get a better look at the papers in his hand.

"Yes. I don't think they like me very much either." He glanced up at me with a smirk before turning back to another binder on his desk.

"Here, I'll mark them." I said, reaching out to take the tests off his hand, only to have him pull them out of my grasp.

"Nope. You have enough to do."

"Oh stop it. I can manage to mark a few stupid tests." I rolled my eyes and made another reach for the tests, which again, he jerked away with a grin.

"I know you can _manage-_ "

"I find it relaxing." I smiled as I reached across him, now reaching my whole body across his as he leaned back in his chair with the tests held away from me, my face hovering a few inches away from his, "It helps me unwind. Some people like crossword puzzles, I like marking tests."

"Then you will just have to find another way to unwind." He murmured with a dark grin and I swatted his chest with a snort as I leaned back a little bit.

" _Fine_. You don't want me to mark your dumb tests-"

The knock on the doorjamb was like a bucket of ice water. I hadn't really realized how close we'd gotten, and how inappropriate we probably looked, and we both jerked back from one another like we were totally innocent.

Piotr cleared his throat and adjusted his tie with a casual smile at the 17 year old girl in the doorway, "Vanessa. How can I help you?"

The pretty brunette flicked her eyes to me for a long moment before looking back at Pete and plastering on a shy smile as she clutched her textbook to her abdomen, "Sorry to interrupt, Mr. Rasputin, I was just hoping that maybe you could..." She bit her lip, her gaze dropping down to the floor as she tucked a lock of chestnut hair behind her ear, "I'm having a bit of trouble with our assignment and... I was wondering if maybe you could give me some private lessons. You know, just... for some extra help."

Oh _please_.

Piotr looked a little caught off guard by this, his eyebrows perked up, "Really? I didn't realize you were struggling."

Vanessa took a few steps into the class room as she chewed on her lip coyly, "I just can't seem to get all these dates straight." She said with a little chuckle and shrug, and Piotr nodded somberly.

"Alright, well I am sure we can work something out. I will have to look over my schedule... maybe we can meet a few times after class for a bit."

The girl's face lit up with a smile, "I would like that."

I scoffed. Apparently out loud, because both Pete and this _Vanessa_ turned to look at me.

"In the meantime," Pete said, still casting me a curious little look as he pushed himself up off the chair, "I can give you this handout, it's a bit of a cheat sheet to help memorize important dates." He said, flicking through the pile of papers on the corner of his desk before pulling out a sheet and handing it off the Vanessa with a smile. "Hopefully that will help out a little."

She moved forward and slipped the page out of his hand with a bat of her long, thick lashes and flashed him one more smile as she thanked him before bidding him goodbye, flipping her hair over her shoulder and sashaying out of the room.

"Oh my _God_." I groaned the second she was around the corner, "That was... _gratuitous_."

Pete furrowed his brow at me, lowering himself back down into his desk chair, "What?"

"Were we like, in the same room just now? She was totally throwing herself at you, Piotr." I said with an exaggerated eye roll.

Piotr laughed and shook his head, "It was a student asking for help-"

" _Oh Mr. Rasputin,_ " I batted my eyelashes with a breathy voice and an extra little pout, _"Could you help me..._ grasp _the subject?_ "

"She did not say that." He snorted.

"She didn't have to. I could read between the lines. It was like the first three minutes of a porn."

Piotr looked up at that, and narrowed his eyes with an amused little grin, "You're jealous!"

I laughed indignantly, "I am not jealous. First of all, I don't get jealous of _children-_ "

"Exactly, she is a _child_ , Katya." Pete nodded that amused grin only growing as he spoke, "And you are jealous."

"Secondly, I'm not the jealous type. Thirdly, I don't own you. And you don't owe me anything. You can shamelessly flirt with whomever you choose, and if you want to allow your students to disgustingly hurl themselves at you with their pouty lips and their fluttering eyes, then that's totally on you. Just know that _I told you so_." I said with a shrug, "Plus I thought Scott said you were trying to avoid lawsuits."

His grin spread some more and he put his hands on my waist to pull me down onto his lap, "You are so cute when you are jealous. Do that voice again for me."

"I'm not doing the voice, if you want to hear the voice you can call _Vanessa_ back in." I replied firmly, quickly losing my resolve as he nibbled on my ear. "And we should probably cool it in public, we don't want people talking..."

"You're right." His voice was low and warm in my ear and it sent shivers all the way down my spine. "Although I have always wanted to do it on my desk..."

I snorted, "Don't let Vanessa hear you say that."

" _Katya_!" He admonished with a laugh, and I pushed myself up off of his lap with an innocent shrug.

I'm just sayin'.

We eventually made our way down to the Rec Room after a quick pit stop by Pete's room to drop off his things (including the tests that he insisted I didn't have time to mark) where a bunch of the grownups had gathered to recoup after school.

Tabby, Jubilee and Alison were reading trashy magazines in one corner, Scott was doing some paperwork on the table next to the window, and Rogue and Remy were curled up in an armchair by the fireplace like a pair of adorable little otters, deep in discussion about appropriate wedding songs. This was apparently a point of contention, since I'd insisted that they not have any Metallica or Nine Inch Nails at the wedding.

These are things most people just _know_.

Anyway, I was about to make my way over to them when Alison's eyes lifted from her magazine and she noticed us walk in.

"Ooooh, look who it is." She grinned, "Guess what I just heard...?"

I did not like the tone of her voice. Or the way she was looking at me when she spoke. I glanced over to Pete, who looked completely unruffled, and humoured her with a completely relaxed smile, "What would that be?"

Alison closed her magazine and dropped it onto her lap before folding her hands on top, "It seems one of the girls in my music class walked in on the two of you flirting." She bit her lip with a smile, "She said you were practically _all over_ each other."

Seriously?! _Already?!_ That was like, less than 20 minutes ago. News travels fast... damn.

Piotr snorted, "Is that so?" He chuckled, making himself comfortable on the sofa, "I guess I should be careful who I speak with in public."

"I was just telling Pete about my first day as a substitute teacher." I smiled proudly, following Pete's lead on the causal denial approach, "I didn't threaten physical violence on _anyone_."

"Good for you minette!" Remy congratulated without a hint of sarcasm in his tone. He totally knows how hard it is to not hurt a bratty teenager. He understands.

Tabby rolled her eyes and shook her head at Alison, "These two look like they're flirting all the time. They have a lot of residual sexual tension."

Jubilee nodded, "When she's _actually_ flirting she looks like a moron." She turned to me and added, "No offense."

Offense taken, Jubes.

"Okay well... first off, residual sexual tension?" I made a face at Tabby who simply laughed, "And secondly, I _have_ developed flirting skills since I left, you know. I'm not like, a nun." I pointed out with a frown, which was simply brushed off. I should have been happy that my flirting reputation took the heat off of me and Pete, but I actually just felt indignant.

I would have pushed it too, if Pete hadn't silently given me a look, which I took to mean " _keep your mouth shut_ ", and Alison seemed to accept Jubilee's knowledge of my past romantic incompetence, judging by the look of disappointment at the fact that her gossip turned out to be a dud.

Maybe we _don't_ have to be so careful in public after all, since apparently we could be making out right in front of everyone, and people would still just assume I'm incapable of seducing a man. He must have just slipped, and my mouth broke his fall, right?!

Completely indignant.

I let it slide and moved over to the couch, dropping down to sit next to Piotr, even though I probably could have just sat right in his lap and no one would have even noticed, and Remy turned to me with a frown.

"You need to tell Rogue that we aren't dancing our first dance to _The Smashing Pumpkins_." He said, looking up from the notepad in Rogue's hands which was likely the song list I'd insisted they work on.

I narrowed my eyes curiously, "What song?"

" _We Must Never Be Apart_." Rogue shrugged, and when I balked at her she got defensive, "It's romantic!"

"Doesn't he refer to his woman as a _whore_ in that song?" I asked, curling my leg up underneath me to get more comfortable.

"Which is rhymed with _adore_." Rogue explained with an eye roll, because duh.

"Yeah, you can't have that song at your wedding." I shook my head.

"Geeze, who made you the wedding Nazi?" Tabby snorted from across the room with her nose buried in a magazine, "This is why you should have just eloped, like me and Ray."

Sure Tabby, make it seem like that's what you planned all along, no alcohol involved in that decision at all.

"She comes in handy. Especially when she's on my side." Remy said with a shrug, which caused Rogue to twist around and glare at him.

"Don't you try an' butter her up, Gambit." She warned before turning to look back at me, "He's tryin' to convince me to get a zydeco band to play the reception. F***ing _zydeco_ , Kitty."

"Hey! It's my roots! It's a part of my history!" Remy frowned, and Rogue scoffed.

"You don't even _like_ zydeco. It's _noise_."

"Actually I don't mind zydeco." Scott commented, looking up from his paperwork with a little smile, causing the lot of us to turn and look at him. He shrugged under all the sudden attention and pressed his lips into a thin line, "My mom spent some time in New Orleans when she was a teenager, she bought a tape. She used to play it for me and Alex when we were acting up."

"Yeah, probably as a form of _child abuse_." Rogue replied matter-of-factly with a sniff. I mean, she's probably not far off the mark there. We were all thinking it.

"I don't know why you're letting Kitty have a say in your musical selections anyway, she's got terrible taste in music." Jubilee pointed out with a snap of her gum as she flipped through her People magazine, "No offense, Kit."

Offense taken, Jubilee. _Again_.

"You should be asking _me_." She continued, "I'm completely in with today's musical trends. And, I have a great appreciation for days of music past. I could totally bring a healthy balance to the sound pallet."

Remy seemed to be considering this, even as Rogue was rolling her eyes and shaking her head, "All of the things that you just said make me want to punch you in the tit."

"No! Oh my gosh, no! This is totally perfect! I could be your DJ!" Jubilee suddenly lit up, apparently ignoring Rogue's comment altogether as the excitement of this new idea blossomed in her mind, "I'll bring the perfect mix! We can have some modern hits, and then mix them in with the classics. You know, like 80's rock ballads. Queen, Guns n' Roses, Van Halen, David Bowie..."

Rogue pinched the bridge of her nose and began muttering quietly under her breath, and I could sense that it was time to jump in and take control of the topic away from Jubilee.

"Yeah, that's great! You know, my ex made me a mix tape with a lot of that crap on it, we could totally use it." I commented sarcastically with a little laugh, "I mean, he used to call it our _sex mix_ , but he had a really weird sense of humour, so there's a lot of Jackson 5 and Queen on it."

I'd succeeded in shutting Jubilee up, but now everyone was staring at me. I'm not really sure what I'd expected to happen... sometimes my mouth runs faster than my brain.

"Let me tell you, it is _really_ hard to have sex to _Bohemian Rhapsody_. That tempo change is a _bitch_." I chuckled, because no one was stopping me from speaking, and then Tabby's face twisted up in perverse curiosity.

" _Wisdom_?"

"God no. Different ex." I said with a flip of my hand suddenly becoming increasingly aware of the fact that I was still talking. I cleared my throat and turned back to Remy with a smile, "So, a zydeco band, huh?"

Piotr cracked a smirk at my seamless transition, "Smooth."

"I should write a rap!" Jubilee said suddenly, her face lighting up with the joy of this sudden idea, "Oh my gosh, it's so perfect."

" _No_." Rogue shut that down quickly with a pointed look that just _dared_ Jubilee to try and fight her on it.

"I could perform." Alison offered with a smile, catching me slightly off guard because honestly, I completely forgot she was even there. "If you need any singing... I could put on a whole light show!"

"I think we should revisit Jubes rap idea." Remy smiled with a convincing amount of sincerity, "Just out of curiosity, what would you rhyme with _Gambit_?"

"F*** off." Rogue snapped and Remy rolled his eyes.

"That doesn't rhyme."

"Look, make a list of all of the songs that you _need_ to have at your wedding." I said to Rogue, choosing to ignore the idea of Jubilee writing a rap. "Those are literally the only songs that matter, nobody cares what other songs you have."

"What if I _need_ zydeco?" Remy frowned, and Rogue frowned back.

"Then you're gunna _need_ to find a new wife."

The corner of Remy's mouth quirked up as Rogue scowled back at him, and the adorableness of it all was almost nauseating. He totally didn't even like zydeco music, he was just trying to get a rise out of his _fiancee_. Rogue was about to say something snarky in reply, when the sound of her phone singing cut her off. She slipped the thing out of her back pocket and frowned at the screen, jumping to her feet and excusing herself as she muttered something about it being important.

Obviously, being the best friend, I took that as my cue to follow her and find out what was going on. Because really, the only important call she would be getting would be about the wedding, and that totally concerned me. I found her in a little alcove talking in hushed tones on her cell, the entire call only lasting 30 seconds, and by the time I reached her she was hanging up.

"Is everything okay?" I asked with a frown, "Was that the photographer? I told him-"

"Everything's fine." She said quickly, which led me to believe that everything was _not_ fine. "It was just the florist. Just... getting back to me on the changes we made to the arrangements."

"Oh." I nodded, not entirely believing her, but knowing that if I pushed her on the subject she would just get all moody and defensive. "Sure."

"So, you and Pete are sleepin' together."

She said it so casually that I almost thought I'd heard her wrong. "Wh- how did you-"

"Oh please. You should have seen your face when Alison brought it up, you looked like a baby bunny caught in a bear trap."

I blinked at her, wondering exactly how she could possibly be so astute when she gave me a shrug, "Plus, Kurt told me."

I sighed and rolled my eyes, "Of course."

"Don't worry, I'm the only one he told. He was all up in arms about it, and just _had_ to get it off his chest." She smirked and let out a little chuckle, "I told him it was for the best. Both of you have been in dire need of a good bone."

"You are so eloquent."

"Well it's true." She crossed her arms, "Say what you will about Jenny, but she was _vanilla_ through and through."

"Ugh, stop it." I grimaced. I mean, sure Jenny is vanilla, but that doesn't always translate to sex. Also, I would rather not talk about Pete and Jenny's sex life.

"You gotta admit, you've been much more chill about everything lately. You let Remy buy his red tuxedo."

"It's _burgundy_." I corrected for some reason, crossing my arms and rolling my eyes, "But yeah, I see your point."

What can I say, I'm _relaxing_.


	10. Mama Mia

_**A/N- Hey, an update on time, finally! That's right guys, I'm back from vacation. The past two Tuesday's I have been at an amusement park, and genuinely incapable of updating on time, but now my feet are on solid ground once again. #yolo**_

 _ **I'm not too sure why I went with the yolo hashtag, I just followed my heart.**_

 _ **Alright, so since I'm actually back, I will be able to return to acknowledging specific reviews. Which is to say, please review. Last week was a slow week, and I get that people are on vacation. I get it, guys. I've been there. But I think you need to re-evaluate your priorities a little, here. Reviewing mediocre fanfiction on a regular basis should always come in the top three on the priority list. Always.**_

 _ **Obviously I'm being facetious here, but I would truly appreciate your reviews.**_

 _ **Thanks ya'll!**_

 _ **Next up, we get to see what Rogue's mysterious phone call was all about... Dun dun dunnnn...**_

The following does not reflect the views or opinions of Marvel or the author known as 'Kinetically Charmed'.

 **Entry number ten:**

The wedding is now officially less than a month away. Like, 28 days or something.

Also, today was Valentines Day, which is really inconsequential, I'm just mentioning it to give you all a more rounded view of what exactly I was dealing with today.

I mean, don't get me wrong, I could care less about VD day. And don't listen to Bobby; that is _not_ just a thing single girls say on Valentine's Day to make it seem like they're fine, when they're really "dying inside".

I really could care less about it. The day after is when I shine, all that chocolate 75% off, heck yes.

Anyway, because of the fact that it was Valentine's day, Alex was "unable to perform his regular duties". Which is to say, he flaked out on the monthly Costco run. He had a date with Lorna, whom I have still yet to meet, and just shrugged that shit off like everyone in the mansion could totally go without toilet paper for a few days.

Ain't no thang, right?

And of course the next in line for Costco trips is Ray, who incidentally also had a super important date to keep with his wife, Tabby.

Next in line was Storm. Let's all just say she was busy, because I feel terrible perpetuating any form of gossip. She had a prior engagement, which I would not like to dwell on, or think about.

Piotr stepped in at this point, because if we continued down the line of Costco responsibility every single one of them had a date, and it was getting ridiculous. Let's just let the single people step up and save the day.

I offered to go along because I've been in England for the past six years and I want to go to Costco, dammit. I miss the ability to buy tomato sauce in bulk and consume free samples at every turn. So after school let out, Pete regrettably changed out of his dress shirt and pants and into a regular old Henley and jeans, which admittedly he still looked fantastic in, and we took the van the 30 minute drive in to Costco.

I also feel like I should point out that he didn't even wear a coat. It's like 30 degree weather outside, and he's just walkin' around like it's a spring afternoon, while I'm huddled down in my coat, tugging my bright pink hat down over my ears. In the _van_.

When we arrived, Pete pulled out the shopping list while I grabbed us one of those massive carts, and we bustled our way through the warehouse doors with all the other shoppers, where I was greeted with the familiar red smock of the employee at the door standing under those buzzing florescent lights. Oddly enough, this was the moment I began to really realize what I was missing, back in England.

Pete cracked a grin when I told him this as I shucked my coat and hat and mittens, stuffing them in the front of the cart before motioning towards the items for sale lining the entrance.

"Really though, were else can one buy a 10 pack of beach towels?" I asked, "For $45 even! That's $4.50 a towel!"

"I think the more important question is, why are the selling beach towels in February?" Pete observed, taking control of the cart from me to push us past the beach towels.

"I wonder if I can fit them in my carry on bag..." I wondered out loud, looking back at the pack of towels longingly which caused Pete to laugh.

"Maybe you can buy another suitcase while you are here."

"Perfect! A whole suitcase, just for towels." I grinned, "You're a genius, Piotr Rasputin."

"You are so easily impressed." He grinned down at me and I looped my arm through his with a smile, because I wasn't about to disagree with him. He hit the nail on the head. "It's a good thing, not many women would be overly pleased spending Valentine's Day at Costco."

"It's not a _terrible_ first date."

He snorted and glanced down at me with a laugh, "Oh this is a _date_ now?"

"Sure, we've got the dinner," I said flipping a hand at the sample station we were headed towards, "There's music on that electric piano over there, looping that obnoxious demo song."

" _Dancing_ as we try to dodge other carts..." Pete added and I giggled, hugging his arm a little tighter,

" _Exactly_."

"Well, I am glad you are a cheap date, now." He smiled, "This is much less expensive than our last first date."

I grinned at the memory and gave my head a shake, "I've always been a cheap date, you were just trying extra hard to impress me."

He glanced down at me through the corner of his eye with a grin, "I was."

"You didn't have to. I was plenty impressed by your body." I said with a shrug, slipping the shopping list out of his hand.

He nodded and turned to hoist a jumbo pack of paper towels into the cart, "And I know that now."

"Such a time saver." I gave him a wry grin before turning my eyes to the contents of the aisle we'd turned down, "Where's the fabric softener? Do we even _need_ fabric softener? Who made this list?"

Piotr smirked and plucked the list back out of my hand, "Storm did. Do not question her authority."

We moved through the aisles, gradually piling our cart up as we went in companionable silence, until we rounded the corner to the produce section.

"Oh Ginsu knives! I have the funniest story about Ginsu knives." I chuckled to myself as I took two samples of snap peas and handed one off to Pete, "So Wisdom and I were on a mission, and we found ourselves in this tiny little cramped kitchen. I'm talkin' _small_. Like, it looked like it belonged to a Hobbit. Anyway, we get _attacked_ in this mini kitchen, of all places. This guy jumps on me from behind and it totally catches me off guard and I get slammed into the ridiculously tiny stove-" I noticed a woman side-eyeing me as she pushed her cart past and I glanced around, suddenly realizing that this was not a Costco appropriate story. "Let's just say, they're great for _throwing_ , but not so great with the up close... encounters."

Piotr winced and knit his brow, "That's a _funny_ story?"

"Did I say funny?" I frowned, popping a snap pea into my mouth thoughtfully, "Huh..."

He gave his head a shake, "I don't know how you can do that job. Saving the world one or two times a year is good enough for me."

"You're such an underachiever." I teased as we strolled along, and my attention was captured by the Blendtec guy in the middle of his demonstration, "That guy right there, he's got the right idea."

Piotr looked where I was pointing, and made a confused squint, "I don't know... I do not think a blender would be as good for throwing as Ginsu knives."

I snorted, "No, I mean _career wise_. That guy's got it made."

"I am not sure I would classify this as a career-"

"Just trust me. He gets to work at Costco, talk to people all day about a product he _clearly_ loves, and wear one of those kick ass headset microphones."

Piotr pressed his lips together and shook his head, "Sometimes I wonder how you and Rogue ever find anything to talk about..."

"Oh please, she wants one of those headsets too, don't let her surly exterior fool you."

Pete picked up a box of tomatoes up and lowered them into the cart, "Well, I'm sure the Blendtec career path is far less stressful than being assaulted in a miniature kitchen."

"It's true." I agreed as we continued our stroll through the produce section, "I should consider a career change. Moving back to America wouldn't be so bad."

"I am sure your mother would appreciate the change."

"Of course, she'd want my kick ass Costco employee discount." I snorted, "Plus you know, the whole _constantly putting my life in danger_ argument."

"Yes well, she does have a point." He said, scooping up another sample as we passed by the station and handing one to me.

"Ooh popcorn! Score!" I said excitedly, without a hint of sarcasm. I really am incredibly easy to please.

"See, dinner _and_ a show." Piotr grinned, nodding towards the Blendtec guy again, "I am pulling out all the stops tonight..."

"Keep it up and you might get lucky." I winked, "I think I saw some mattresses on display over there."

"I feel like that is just a good way to get _banned_ from Costco." He commented idly as he loaded up a few more items from our list into the cart, "And then you can kiss your new career goodbye."

We walked for a bit in silence, dropping a few items into the cart every now and then before, out of nowhere I said, "Maybe I could teach."

Pete gave me a confused look. "Teach...? How to shop at Costco? Is that like an online course?"

"No, teach at the _school_." I snorted with a little eye roll, "You know, like computers or something."

We walked together quietly for a few beats before he turned to me and asked, "Is that something you... would consider?"

"I don't know." I shrugged, "I mean, my mom is always on my case about how I wasted my computer science degree. It's a possibility. I could do it."

"Sure, you _could_ do it. But would you _want_ to?" Pete asked, glancing down at the list in his hand before gesturing for me to grab a giant pack of Mini Wheats cereal.

"I don't know." I said again, dropping the massive box of cereal onto our pile of groceries, "Maybe."

He accepted my response and didn't push it, thankfully. I mean, it isn't the first time I've had such a thought. Professor Xavier has even gone so far as to offer me a job in the past, not that anyone knows that. I've never voiced these things out loud. I keep my cards close to my chest.

We continued on through the store until we neared the end of our journey at the pharmaceuticals, loading up on Advil and Tylenol, which is a must when you live at Xavier's. It just is. We go through that stuff like candy.

I jerked my chin towards the extra large box of condoms with a growing smile and flicked my eyes back to Pete, "I just thought of the _perfect_ wedding shower gift..."

Pete laughed and shook his head as he double checked the shopping list to make sure we hadn't missed anything, "That would last him a few months."

"100 condoms, nine different styles!" I read the box for him before furrowing my brow and turning the box to see it better, "There are _nine_ different styles?! How are there nine different types of condoms?!"

"Oh Katya," Pete chuckled, "Such a worldly woman, and yet still so naive."

I snorted and tossed the box at him, "Wanna go halvsies with me?"

"You want to split on a $25 gift?"

"Hey, I flew in from _England_. They're lucky they're not getting a Starbucks gift card from me."

Piotr smirked and gave me a nod, "Sure. I will go _halvsies_ with you."

"Good. Teachers don't get paid all that well, I need to start saving my money now." I grinned as he tucked the box under the cart. Likely to avoid any looks as we waited in line at the register.

Not that I blame him, those Costco people can be judgy.

The drive home took twice as long, possibly because we took a small detour halfway home to "finish up the date", if you know what I mean.

We had sex in the van.

He seemed to be extra turned on by the bright pink hat and mittens, and I'm not one to complain.

Anyway, we arrived home at a decent hour and unloaded the van of our Costco loot, putting everything away and finishing up shortly after seven. We made our way to the rec room, only to find that everyone was still there.

No one had even gone on their stupid dates yet.

Alex was all dressed up in his Hollister finest, lounging in the armchair in front of the fireplace with his phone out, Jean was seated near the book case with Rachel, helping her with some homework, Remy had his feet kicked up on the coffee table as he flipped through the channels on the TV with Kurt and Warren seated next to him, and the gossip twins (Jubilee and Alison) were in the far corner of the room, cackling over God-knows-what.

Alex sat up and looked over at me, apparently shocked to see us, and glanced back down at his phone, "You're back _already_?"

"What do you mean _already_?" I snorted, "I thought you jerks had dates tonight."

"Don't be so bitter, babelini." Alex grinned, settling back into the armchair, "That's probably why you're still single. We don't have reservations until 8:30. Lorna doesn't like to eat too early, she's so cute."

I narrowed my eyes dangerously at him and practiced my stress breathing, and Pete gave me a little shove towards the couch, away from Alex.

"I could have done the shopping for you, I don't have to pick up my date until 9." Warren said apologetically with a frown as he watched us sit down, and Piotr offered him a wan smile.

"It was really no problem. _"_

"Kitty gets indignant sometimes, over stupid shit." Remy explained, "She wouldn't be so uptight if she were gettin' laid."

Kurt's eyes widened and his face turned purple beneath his blue cheeks, "Remy!"

"It's _true_." He shrugged simply, "She knows it's true."

Oh Gambit, how little you know. It's clearly _not_ true.

Kurt's eyes flicked between Pete and myself before he sank back into the couch with an embarrassed frown, "You don't need to be so vulgar about it."

"I'm not indignant about stupid things, I just don't like it when people take advantage of Piotr." I crossed my arms and noticed the strained look of horror on Kurt's face. "Of his _kind_ _nature_ , Kurt."

"He's not so nice, don't let him fool you." Remy smirked, "He gets out of Costco runs for the next two months because of this."

"Absolutely." Piotr agreed with a nod, "I am much smarter than I look."

I knit my brow at Remy and tipped my head to the side, "Shouldn't you and Rogue be out right now?"

Remy frowned at me and huffed out a snort, "Still waitin' for her to get ready."

This seemed incredibly strange to me, and I'm surprised it didn't seem incredibly strange to Remy. Rogue never takes more than 20 minutes to get ready. The last time she took longer than that to get ready for a date was when Emma and I set her up with Warren, who didn't know they were dating.

Now that I think of it, Warren is kind of clueless... a beautiful, angel-winged dummy.

I was about to ask Remy where he was taking Rogue that could possible explain her taking longer than 20 minutes to prepare herself, when I happened to catch sight of her hovering in the doorway, chewing her lip pensively, wearing the exact same thing she'd been wearing the last time I saw her earlier in the day.

"Rogue?" I knit my brow and craned my neck to look at her better, "Is everything okay?"

Remy turned to look at her and his face dropped, "What the f***? I thought you were getting ready, you look the _same_."

And who said romance was dead?

Rogue twisted her hands in front of her anxiously as she stepped into the room, "I um... I got distracted."

"Well, you look fine like that. Let's go, we're gunna be late." Remy moved to stand, and Rogue held her hand up to stop him.

"Wait... we need to talk." She said, her eyes darting around at everyone else in the room as she suddenly realized there were _other_ _people_ in the room too, worrying her lip between her teeth again, "Maybe we should talk somewhere else."

Remy's face suddenly fell, "Shit, are you _pregnant_?!" He asked breathlessly, his face visibly paling slightly as he stared at her.

" _No_!" Rogue snapped, her eyes widening in horror, "God no! It's about your _payback_. You know, for tryin' to track down Mystique. I found your... parentage."

Remy heaved a sigh of relief and put a hand over his heart, "Christ, that's it? You scared the hell out of me." He shook his head and then relaxed into a smug little grin after a few moments of recovery, "So this is about my _payback_ then. An eye for an eye?"

She nodded silently, and Remy gave his eyes a roll, "Well lay it on me then, Rogue." He said, seeming incredibly unconcerned with whatever it was she found. Clearly Remy couldn't care less about his birth parents, not that I can say I blame him. He's gone 32 years without knowing who these people are, and he's never shown any interest in finding out, so it seemed slightly odd to me that this was Rogue's method of payback, but whatever.

These two are so weird.

"Uh, maybe we should have this talk in private."

Remy rolled his eyes and scoffed, "Please. How bad could it be?" He straightened up a little and gave her a serious look, "I'm not related to Trump, am I?"

She furrowed her brow, "No."

"Alright well, again, how bad could it be?" He repeated, stretching his arm out behind me on the couch and kicking his feet back up on the coffee table, "Hit me with your best shot, chere."

Rogue let out an even breath as she steeled herself, which should have been Remy's first clue that shit was about to get _real_. I mean, really. When has Rogue ever shown any tact when delivering news? These two get off on bugging the shit out of one another. He really should have seen it coming, but he sat there like the beautiful little idiot that he is with that smug grin on his lips as she worked out the proper words in her mind.

"I know your mother's name." She began, and Remy quirked a brow expectantly when she hesitated. "Katherine Anne... I'm not sure about her last name... not her maiden name at least-"

"That's my name!" I beamed at Remy, "Ohhh this explains why you love me so much! It's subconscious! You have mommy issues!"

He snorted and rolled his eyes, "That does explain it, because you're annoying as _hell_."

"Wait, I'm not his mother, right?" I turned back to Rogue and frowned, "There's not some crazy time travel loop shit happening here, _right_?"

I was like, 98% joking, but I've seen Back to the Future way too many times to fully rule this out.

Rogue rolled her eyes at me with an irritated sigh, "No, Kitty."

Thank God.

"That's Scott's moms name too, it's a pretty common name." Jean pointed out before grinning at me, "Maybe Alex has some mommy issues too, _Jem_."

"Oh man, what if you _were_ my mom... what if we'd had sex?!" Alex said, suddenly interested in the conversation, straitening up a little bit with a look of horror on his face.

Ugh, gross Alex. Don't be weird.

"Yeah, Alex. You really dodged a bullet." Jubilee interjected sarcastically with a little smirk.

"That's not all." Rogue said quickly, trying to regain control of the conversation, "I found this out from Essex. You remember him... he was my Genetics Professor." She explained with a flip of her hand, "The guy running the study that you were part of at the college-"

"Yes Rogue, I remember him. Get to the damn point." Remy interrupted, clearly beginning to lose his patience for this whole thing.

"Right. Well, he's in this low security prison for cooking meth with some student-"

Alex snorted with a laugh, "Is that why he stopped the studies?! I was makin' good cheddar off of him until he up and vanished... I thought maybe he offed himself, you know?" He pantomimed shooting shooting himself in the head with a finger pistol, as if we all needed clarification, and Jean hissed his name, reminding him that his niece was sitting _right there_ , "What? He was a _weird_ dude..."

Rogue shot out an irritated breath, "It's not important. I contacted him in jail to see if he could help me out, and he had one of his associates on the outside do some digging. He still has everyone's blood work on file."

Which, by the way, is disgusting. For so many reasons.

"He happened to have someone else on file who was a genetic maternal match. To you."

This is when I definitely saw Remy's bravado waver just a tad. She'd piqued his interest, definitely. "A _maternal match_... meaning...?"

"A sibling." She said evenly and Remy sat up a bit straighter.

"A- I have a _sibling_?"

"Well... a _half_ sibling. On your mothers side." She amended, and then shook her head and added, "Two actually. But only one of them... participated in the study..." She trailed off and her eyes settled on Alex.

Everything began to click in. We all sat there with wide eyes, completely unsure of what to say, and I could see the realization slowly begin to dawn on Remy as the pieces fell in place.

"I'm telling you, he was a total douche, he tried to stiff me on payment once because I was "too high to partake" or some crap." Alex scoffed, glancing up from his phone with an indignant little sniff, pausing when he realized that we were literally all staring at him. "What?"

Jean was the first one to speak up, but all she managed to say was, "Are... are you _sure_?"

Rogue nodded, "He said their DNA had a 32% match, which is actually pretty high for half siblings-"

Remy was on his feet in the blink of an eye and out the door before any of us could even really register the severely pissed off look on his face. Jean's eyes caught mine and she didn't need to use her telepathy for me to understand what she was thinking. I needed to follow Remy. _Someone_ needed to follow him, and make sure he was alright.

And we all know Rogue wasn't about to do it, she's kind of a wimp when it comes to Remy's emotional tirades.

I jumped up and hurried out the door after him, just in time to hear Alex ask what was going on. Well, at least we know the dumb but pretty thing runs in the family.

Ouch.

Too soon.

I caught up with Remy as he was marching down the hallway with those long legged strides of his, his hands balling into fists at his sides as he walked.

"Remy wait!" I called out as I barreled down the hall after him, dodging and phasing through the odd student who got in my way, "Slow down and talk to me!"

He ignored my pleas and continued on his way down the hall until he reached the Professor's office, punching the door open without a moments hesitation and marching in like he was on the hunt for blood.

"You f***ing knew, didn't you?!" He demanded, ignoring the slightly stunned look on Professor Xavier's face. And it's hard to surprise a telepath, guys but Remy managed to do it.

"Gambit, what is-"

"Don't f***ing lie to me!" He shouted, leaning forward with his hands on the desk to hover ominously over Xavier. "You f***ing manipulative old bastard!"

Professor Xavier's eyes grew wide, and I'm assuming that was the point when he'd picked up what Remy was undoubtedly screaming in his mind. His surprise was quickly replaced with a look of sincere sympathy and he shook his head.

"Oh Remy... I assure you, I had no idea."

Remy's jaw ticked a few times, with the vein on his forehead bulging out and his face an angry shade of red before he turned away from the desk and pushed past me hovering uselessly in the doorway.

And then I saw trouble. I saw it coming, and I was powerless to stop it.

Poor unsuspecting Scott, minding his own business, strolling down the hall with a frown, likely having heard the commotion in Xavier's office and coming to investigate the problem.

"Gambit." Scott frowned behind his red glasses, "Is everything alri-"

Remy didn't let him finish his thought, he grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and shoved him straight into the wall behind him. "Don't f***ing look at me." He hissed.

Scott's hand flew up to readjust his glasses as he gaped at Remy in utter confusion, "What has gotten into you!?"

"Stop... being so... _you_." Remy spluttered angrily, "Leave me alone. You breathe too loud." He took a step away from Scott and ran a hand through his hair with a crazed look in his eye, "I gotta get out of here."

I took a step towards him and reached out a cautious hand, "Remy-"

He snapped a hand up, which quieted me instantly, and worked the muscles in his jaw a few times with a deep breath, "I gotta get out of here." He said again, before shouldering past Scott and disappearing down the hall and around the corner.

"What the hell is that guys problem?!" Scott asked with a dumbfounded expression as he tried to dust himself off, "Didn't anyone ever teach him some manners?"

"Like your mom?" I said, before my brain had the chance to tell my mouth to shut the hell up.

Scott pressed his lips together and gave me an unamused face, and I imagine he was rolling his eyes, "Yeah, sure Kitty. Like my mom."

I hightailed it out of there at that point. I wasn't about to hang around and have to explain Remy's behaviour to Scott. Or that Remy was his older, illegitimate, half brother.

Yikes. That is _Jean's_ issue.

Happy Valentine's Day bro.


	11. Where In The World Is Remy Sandiego?

_**A/N- Ahh, you guys... your reviews warmed my icy cold heart. I'm so glad you all enjoyed that twist, it was something that I heavily debated NOT doing, because it's... you know, not canon. Not that any of this is canon anyway. I just don't like venturing too far away from the vein of truth... and giving someone a long lost sibling seemed like it was pushing it. Anyway, I decided to do it because it's something that has always amused and mystified me... Marvel had the perfect set up sitting right there, and then they go and make the mysterious third Summers some random weird guy that nobody cares about.  
I also really struggled with whether or not it should be a mommy or a daddy thing, and eventually mama Summers won out. Which is also different from the comics. I have my reasons.**_

 _ **Anyway, that's enough rambling from me, I'm so happy you all enjoyed the chapter! Please remember to review this one too, because I really really extra need the motivation to finish this monster.**_

 _ **Thanks ya'll!**_

The following does not reflect the views or opinions of Marvel or the author known as 'Kinetically Charmed'.

 **Entry number eleven:**

Remy has been gone for five days. He's not answering his calls or texts, we have no idea where he's gone, or even if he's coming back.

We don't even know if he's still _alive_.

Nobody was sure what to do, and it felt like everything was just suddenly on hold. Do you continue planning a wedding that's less than a month away when the groom suddenly drops off the face of the earth? Martha Stewart hasn't written about the proper etiquette in this particular scenario, so we all deferred to Rogue. Who incidentally is acting like nothing is wrong. On the surface, at least.

In fact, she's actually amped up the planning. She's taken over things that were assumed to be _my_ responsibility, like place cards and seating charts. I'm going out on a limb and assume that this is her way of coping with the fact that her fiance has gone missing in a huge dramatic huff. She's worrying about him. She's spiraling and she is going down hard, but she insists that if she stops the planning, she'll just lose momentum and nothing will ever get done in time, and I'm choosing to let her believe this delusion.

Even though I'm worried as hell. About _both_ of them. This is what happens when you get a sadistic pleasure out of torturing your significant other in a non sexual way, guys. Not that... the sexual kind is so great either, but at least it's not as weird. Which is really saying something.

Anyway, since Rogue was on her determined path to act like everything was totally fine, we ended up going for our dress fitting. Which is usually supposed to be a fun time, but nothing is ever a fun time with Rogue.

No wait, that came out wrong.

Nothing that you expect to be a fun time, ever is with Rogue.

Nope, that's just as bad.

Whatever, my point is that dress fitting did not go as planned, and likely just added to the stress on Rogue's shoulders. We arrived at the bridal boutique all ready to slip into our gowns and drink complimentary mimosas until we didn't have a care in the world. Rogue went first, and I could see the calm wash over her when she looked at her reflection in the mirror. It was like she could see the light at the end of the tunnel. She knew, deep down, that Remy was going to be okay. That he was going to come back, and that they'd have their happily ever after.

Ignore that I sounded like Snow White just then, but the sentiment remains the same; she knew it was all going to be alright. In that brief moment, as she admired herself in her perfectly fitted gown, paid for by her future sister-in-law. And then of course, tragedy struck.

Okay, not tragedy. But in Rogue's bridezilla mind, yeah. It was pretty awful.

I stepped out of my fitting room, and she could instantly tell that something was not right, because I refused to look her in the eye. I kind of thought that maybe she was like, a dinosaur, and if I didn't move too abruptly she wouldn't be able see me. That didn't work, for some reason.

She cocked her head at me and gave me a once over, "What's wrong."

"Nothing." I replied quickly, before swooning over her, "You look gorgeous, Rogue-"

"Why are you holding your side like that?" She ignored my compliment entirely and stepped off the pedestal with a frown, "What's _wrong_?"

"It doesn't fit." I whimpered pathetically, like a child.

She stared at me blankly for a moment as she processed what I meant, before narrowing her eyes, "What do you mean, it doesn't fit?"

"...I can't do it up." I answered, feeling the panic begin to bubble up inside of me and turning to show her that the zipper on my side wouldn't budge, "I've tried everything, I can't get it up!"

Her eyes grew wide and she set her sights on the poor, unsuspecting seamstress, "What the f*** did you do?!"

"We make no mistakes!" The seamstress snapped back with a thick foreign accent and wagging a finger at me, "She put on weight!"

"Are you callin' my friend fat?!" Rogue cried, "Look at her for crissake, she's weighed 100 pounds for the past 15 years!"

She was obviously exaggerating, but not... so far off the mark.

"It's fine, Rogue. I can just... you know stop eating." I said as I desperately tried to pull the zipper up, "For the next two weeks. Eating is totally over rated."

"Don't be stupid." Rogue spat back, "They f***ed it up, they can fix it!"

The seamstress grumbled under her breath as she crossed the room to inspect my zipper, pulling out a pair of glasses and popping them on her nose as she flipped the fabric under my armpit around in her fingers for a better look, "We can let it out, small bit."

"Hear that, they can let it out, small bit." I repeated in an attempt to placate Rogue before looking back to the seamstress, "You think it'll work? Will it be ready in time?"

"Should be fine." The seamstress responded with a curt nod, "Don't eat the carbs."

I gave her a grim smile and chuckled awkwardly, even though she wasn't even remotely joking before turning to Rogue and holding up a hand, "It's fine, Rogue. Honestly. They'll fix it up and it'll be all ready in time, don't worry about it."

She gave me a super skeptical frown as she worked the muscles in her jaw, and reluctantly nodded. I slunk my way back into the change room to peel myself out of the too-small-dress and overheard Rogue clipping out instructions for further alterations to her gown. Most notably that they deepen the V more, because apparently her breasts are just that majestic.

Show off.

In an attempt to take Rogue's mind off of the dress fiasco, I opted to take her out to IHOP for some butter pecan syrup goodness, because I know my girl and she loves her some butter pecan syrup.

We drove the entire way there in tense silence, as she internally fumed about the dress mishap, and it wasn't until we'd sat down with our menu's in hand and a waitress at our table that she finally spoke up to place her order.

"French toast and a water." She said simply, folding her menu up and handing it back to the waitress, who then turned to me expectantly.

"Hmm... okay... I will have the... Belgian waffles. That comes with whipped cream and strawberries right?" The waitress nodded and I grinned. "Good. Alright, I will have scrambled eggs on the side."

Gotta have some protein.

"Ooh, and how about you throw in some hash browns too. I love hash browns." I folded my menu and handed it back to the waitress, "Do you have turkey bacon here?"

She nodded mutely as she jotted down all of my instructions.

"Perfect! I'll have some of that too. And an orange juice. And maybe like a cup of fruit or something, so I can feel like I'm eating healthy."

The waitress gave me a weak little half smile, before turning on her heel and disappearing into the kitchen.

"Jesus, Kitty! What the hell?!" Rogue gaped once the waitress was gone.

"What...?" I frowned sheepishly, "I'm hungry, okay? I skipped breakfast."

"All week!?"

"Oh stop it, it's not that bad. I'll end up taking most of it home." I waved her off with a scoff.

"I can't believe you let me yell at the seamstress..." She trailed off and shook her head disapprovingly.

"So, I'm stress eating a little, lay off me!" I snapped, and she rolled her eyes dramatically.

"What do you mean you're _stress eating_? I thought you found a way to _manage_ your stress!"

"Do you want me to help distract you from your missing fiance, or do you want me to go have sex with Pete?! Because I can't do both, Rogue!" I blurted out before I was able to mentally filter my words.

We both fell silent and stared at one another until I finally looked away and knit my brow, "I'm sorry-"

"No, it's fine." She shrugged, "I'm fine. I don't need you to distract me from anything."

I rolled my eyes back to her and fixed her with a skeptical look.

"I _don't_." She repeated, "I'm _fine_."

"It's okay to not be fine, you know." I pointed out gently, "Nobody would think any less of you."

She squared her jaw and fixed her eyes on the cutlery in front of her, "It ain't a big deal, I'm sure he's okay."

And there it was. That's the closest I was going to get to having Rogue share her feelings, but she's genuinely worried about Remy.

"Yeah." I nodded and chewed my lip, "I'm sure he is too."

We were silent again as we both sat seeped in the worry that had been on both of our minds the past five days. The worry, and in Rogue's case, the _guilt_. Eventually Rogue looked back up at me with a determined lift of her chin,

"Tell me about you and Pete."

I blinked at her in shock, "Uh-" I blinked a bit more and then cleared my throat, "Um, well, there's not really much to tell-"

"You wanna distract me, then _distract me_."

I reluctantly nodded with a sigh, deciding that I really should have seen this coming. While Rogue might not always act like your typical female, she still enjoys her share of drama, and she often looks to me to fill this void. Although I'm really not sure why, I've never had a hopping social life, but I guess in comparison to Rogue I'm basically a socialite.

"Well, you know... we're just... having fun." I shrugged, not really knowing what else to tell her.

" _Having fun_?" She quirked an amused brow and then rolled her eyes.

"It's not like we've had the _define the relationship_ talk. It's not even a _relationship_. Again, we're-"

"Just having fun." Rogue supplied with a smirk, "Sure."

"Don't give me that look." I frowned, "I live in a different country, Rogue. Pete and I will always be friends, first and foremost. Right now we're enjoying the... benefits."

"Are you sure about that?" She asked with that stupid smirk still in place as the waitress brought Rogue's French toast, and my... 6 person meal of sides. "I mean, when I suggested you jump him I didn't mean _continually_."

I gave her a wide eyed look before shooting the waitress a completely embarrassed glance, noticing the amused grin on her face as she turned to walk away.

"We didn't discuss it, it just... happened that way." I hissed with a frown once the waitress was out of earshot, "It's just a mutual agreement."

"To what end?" Rogue asked, pouring a generous amount of pecan syrup on her pancakes, "You guys are getting attached."

"We're not getting attached." I dismissed, cutting into my Belgian waffles with purpose, "We're just enjoying our time, that's all."

"Hey, don't shoot the messenger." Rogue sniffed, stuffing a forkful into her mouth and shrugging, "You've been screwing for well over a month now, you had to know you were gunna need to have _the talk_ eventually."

"Ugh, see... this is why I don't tell you things." I complained with a frown, taking a bite of my waffles, "You're such a party pooper."

"I'm not a party pooper, I'm just pointing out the flaw in your logic." She said smugly, "I mean, none of this would be an issue if you'd just move back. Then ya'll could dance around the subject all you wanted."

I sighed and rolled my eyes with a laugh, "Please. You don't want me to move back, you only think you do."

"Of course I want you to move back, I miss my hamster." She shrugged simply, "Remy might think you're easy to replace but not to me. He can keep Jubilee and Dazzler all to himself."

I shook my head at her, "That's such a weird compliment..." I observed as I stuffed some waffle into my mouth like a starving woman, "Also, who the hell is Dazzler?"

Seriously. Have I not met this person yet? People keep talking about this mysterious _Dazzler_.

Anyway, Rogue thankfully changed the topic to her flower arrangements, and we finished up our IHOP meal relatively quickly, as she watched in awe while I finished off nearly every one of the sides that I ordered and commented about making me wear a mumu for her wedding under her breath.

As long as it's purple.

We made our way back home, and Rogue genuinely seemed to be in better spirits. I considered the morning a success, even though my dress doesn't fit because apparently I'm subconsciously stress eating. Whatever, that's what Spanx are for. We stepped into the rec room, all prepared to continue the Rogue Distraction Project by watching some Tim Burton movies, finding Kurt curled up in a chair next to the fireplace with a book on his lap, and Scott frowning over some papers which I assumed were related to work.

"Hey Scott, how's it goin?" I asked casually as we dropped down onto the couch, "Workin' hard?"

He looked up and glanced between Rogue and myself before clearing his throat, "It's the... blood results. Gambit's."

Rogue and I just stared back at him, and I swear I could _feel_ the moment her eyes turned to glare at me. I _swear_ , I thought he was working. I wouldn't have brought it up if I'd known he was... being emotional or whatever.

"Oh." I said dumbly, because I literally had no idea what else to say, and I could see Kurt biting his lip and quietly snickering to himself through the corner of my eye.

"I just... I just still can't believe it, you know?" Scott said, standing up and moving across the room to lower himself down next to Rogue and I on the couch, to our horror, "You think you know someone."

"Yeah." Rogue replied awkwardly as she turned Netflix on to search for some Tim Burton.

"She was my mom. I thought I _knew_ her. I just can't believe she would have abandoned a baby, teenager or not." He looked back down at the paperwork in his hands and shook his head, "And to think, I never would have even known."

I cast Rogue a quick glance, watching the guilt flash across her face again, basically undoing all my de-stressing. I mean, sure it was a bad idea, but she couldn't have known how _bad_ of an idea it was going to be. She just thought it was going to be funny, because she's got a sick sense of humour. It's clearly not her fault.

Mostly.

Scott's shoulders sagged as he thought silently for a moment before saying, "I wonder if my _dad_ knew. I wonder if _anyone_ knew... She always told us she went to New Orleans for school, and I guess I just assumed it was like, some kind of exchange student program."

I was not about to respond to Scott's musings here. His mom died when he was like, 10. You can understand why she never told her 9 year old son that she'd had unprotected, underage sex and gave birth to an illegitimate Cajun child, but in Scott's defense, he's probably still in a little bit of shock. And apparently the only way he can process this shock is by being completely judgmental towards his mother. Also, now we know why the rec room was basically empty early afternoon on a Saturday.

Scott's why.

"It just totally changes... everything. Everything I thought I knew about my mom. How could she have been so irresponsible with her birth control-"

"Scott, you got your girlfriend pregnant and had a quicky wedding. You're not exactly perfect." Rogue interrupted, keeping her eyes fixed on the tv screen as she navigated Netflix.

"That wasn't _my_ fault." Scott replied quickly, pushing the shades up his nose as he spoke, "Jean was on the pill, it was completely out of my hands. The ball was in her court. One pill, every day, it's not that hard."

On the one hand, I was super amused hearing Scott talk about sex for such a long period of time, because this just never happens. On the other hand, I was offended on behalf of all women, everywhere. Because it is partially his _fault_. And sometimes the pill just doesn't work the way it's meant to. Like if you're on antibiotics, or if you miss _one day_ , or even if you take it at a different _time_... The female body is incredibly complex. I'm totes on Jean's side with this one.

Also can we stop talking about Rachel like she's a bad thing, it feels so wrong, Scott.

"Maybe you just need to... you know... calm down a bit. And remember that this is your _mom_ you're talking about." I pointed out with a frown, and he scoffed in response.

" _Is_ she?"

"Well... yeah." Rogue pointed at the papers in his hand, "It says right in the blood work, right?"

See? Sick sense of humour.

"I feel like I don't know anything about her anymore." Scott shook his head, his brows knit tightly above his shades and this was when Kurt spoke up.

"She was _young_." He commented from his seat without looking up from his book, "What probably happened was she got pregnant and they sent her off to quietly have the baby and save face. You should be mad at your grandparents."

"You don't know that." Scott countered and I gave him a pointed look.

"He's probably right though."

"Besides, this is nothing. Imagine finding out that your mother is a terrorist." He said with a laugh, "Right Rogue?"

"It's true, your mom was just a scared teenager." Rogue nodded, "And I can't help but point out that you haven't said one word about Remy in all of this. You know, the guy who just found out who his mother is. Your _half brother_."

"Is he still bein' a baby about that?" Alex announced his presence in typical Alex style, strolling into the rec room, and flopping himself down in the arm chair next to Scott with a grin, kicking his feet up on the coffee table and cracking open a soda. "I _told_ him to stop buggin' out."

"I'm not _bugging out_ , Alex. Excuse me if I'm the responsible-"

"Blah blah blah." Alex rolled his eyes, "I think it's _awesome_. Mom got around. Good for her."

Gross Alex...

"And Remy is our _brother_? For reals, it makes so much sense." He took a sip of the soda, "Makes more sense than you and me being related. We both got a way with the ladies." He gave me a wink here, for some reason. "Besides, look at our jawlines, of _course_ we're brothers, I'm just surprised no one figured it out earlier. I wonder if mom had any other bastard children, maybe we have a bastard sister out there. She's probably _hot_. Again, the jawline. These things just run in our fam- Where are you going?"

He watched as Scott stood up in a huff and marched his way out of the room before turning back to me with a confused little pout.

"What'd I say?" There's actually a very real chance that he actually didn't remember. He could have been high, I'm not entirely sure. And then he took another loud sip of his soda, turning his attention to the TV and pointing with a grin, "Batman! Noice!"

Sweet, simple Alex. I was grateful for his mindless interruption, and I'm sure Rogue was too, judging by the way she relaxed.

I don't think she's ever relaxed in Alex's presence before.

Families, coming together.


	12. Small World

The following does not reflect the views or opinions of Marvel or the author known as 'Kinetically Charmed'.

 **Entry number twelve:**

Shit has officially hit the fan.

Everyone thought Rogue was in panic mode before, but we had no idea what we were talking about.

We were on day 7 of Remy being MIA, and Rogue had been slowly gathering RSVP's for the wedding. Absolutely normal, except for the fact that she was also getting e-mail RSVP's from the original mass invite she sent out back in January. She'd been trying her best to cope with this issue by just generally ignoring the issue all together, but the morning finally came when she was sent tearing down the hall like a bobcat on fire, stopping at Pete's door to bang loudly as she demanded to be let in.

I was half asleep, because that's what normal people do at 5 am, and thought we were under attack. So I jumped out of bed like... a bobcat on fire... and ran to the door, ripping it open with panicked bleary eyes.

"What?! What's wrong?!" I asked, my voice all husky and thick with sleep, because again, morning.

"Everyone is coming to this f***ing wedding!" She cried, stepping past me into the room.

Pete groaned when Rogue flicked the light on and cracked an eye open, "I am sure you could discuss this later."

"Did you not hear me?! Everyone is coming!" She shouted again, causing Pete to wince and squeeze his eyes shut again.

Seriously, Rogue. Everyone could hear you.

"Shhh!" I hissed, blinking at the harsh over head light before slapping the switch off again and rubbing my temple, "Holy crap, is this what it's like to have a _baby_?" I grumbled, flicking the much less intrusive desk lamp on and shuffling back over to sit down on the foot of the bed. "What's your problem?"

"Everyone. Is coming." Rogue repeated for me with a scowl as she began to pace, "Half of the mother f***ing Avengers are coming, Kitty. And not even the _good_ half!"

I rubbed some sleep out of my eyes and cleared my throat, "Which half is the good half?"

"Kitty. I'm _serious_."

I was too.

I flipped a hand in the air with a shrug and squinted at her tiredly, "Dude... you knew that this was a possibility. Just don't freak out. We'll handle it."

"How are we gunna handle it?! I don't know how many favors to make! I don't know how many place cards to have, or how many people will even be there! What if we run out of room Kitty?!" Rogue freaked, raking her hands through her mussed up morning hair as she paced around in front of me.

My tired brain was trying to think of an appropriate response to this when I felt Pete shift in the bed behind me.

"Who _cares_? You will make them sit outside. Stop worrying about it and go back to sleep." He mumbled sleepily. "It's _Monday_. I need to be up in an hour."

Rogue squared her jaw and looked back at me with worry still written all over her face, and I shrugged.

"I mean, he has a point. Besides, why do you even care, you don't even like 90% of the people you invited."

She continued to pace anxiously and I let out a sigh, "And _double_ besides, I'm the one in charge of the wedding favors. When have I ever been known to half ass a project? I'll make a shit ton of extras, and there will be plenty to go around, okay? As for the seats, we'll have some extra tables at the back for people who didn't officially RSVP. The over flow section."

She snorted, "The _loser_ section."

"That's the spirit." I smiled as I stood up and shooed her towards the bedroom door, "Now please, for the love of all that is holy, go back to bed."

She gave her eyes a roll but silently complied, closing the bedroom door behind her on her way out. I clicked the desk lamp back off and shivered my way back beneath the warm covers next to Pete.

"Do you think he's coming back?" I mumbled into my pillow.

"Of course he is coming back." Pete mumbled back, "All of his things are here."

I wasn't exactly sure if he was joking or not, and I never really got to find out because within _seconds_ he was back to snoring away, which he totally _does do_ , even though he'll try to tell you that he doesn't.

Pete's stupid alarm went off 54 minutes later and we reluctantly rolled out of bed and got ready for the day. Even though I didn't have to get ready for the day. I could have totally stayed in bed for another two hours if I felt like it, but I felt bad sleeping in Pete's bed when he had to get up and go to work. So I got up with him and got showered, he gave me a kiss before he made his way down for breakfast, and I followed him down twenty minutes later, freezing in the doorway when my eyes fell on Rogue.

Seated at the kitchen table with a newspaper spread out in front of her and a Sharpie in hand. My eyes flicked up to Pete who was eating his breakfast, leaning against the counter at the sink and gave me a silent shrug.

Scott was sitting at the island counter, along with Alex and Jubilee, and Logan was watching Rogue with an amused grin from the other end of the table.

And Rogue looked... crazed.

Ray strolled past me into the kitchen, completely oblivious to the tense atmosphere and unnerving silence, and pulled the chair out next to Rogue.

"Morning, Rogue." Was all he got out before she kicked the chair back into place and turned her glare on him.

"Don't sit here!" She snapped, stabbing her Sharpie towards the counter where Pete had likely been banished to, "Go eat over the sink! I got a system!"

I took a few steps into the kitchen and tried my best not to look concerned, "Hey Rogue-"

Her eyes darted up to me and I clamped my mouth shut. "I don't know where to put Thor!"

Scott cast her a glance and knit his brow at me, adjusting his glasses with a frown, "She's been saying that for twenty minutes. Is she... you know..." He tapped his temple and trailed off, causing Alex to choke on a laugh.

"I'm not f***ing crazy, Scott. I don't know where to put Thor." She barked, holding up a little scrap of newspaper with the word THOR written on it in Sharpie, "Where the f*** do you seat a demi god at a wedding?! Do I need a separate seat for his hammer?! No... that's dumb, right...?"

"I don't think it's dumb." Alex shrugged, which kind of proved the point that it was in fact dumb.

"Wait, Thor is coming to your wedding?!" Jubilee perked up, suddenly incredibly interested in the topic. "Put me next to Thor! I'll sit next to Thor!"

Rogue ignored Jubilee and frowned up at me, "Do I put him with the other Avengers, or is that too... you know, cliche or something?"

I took a few steps closer to the table and got a better look at the newspaper laid out in front of her, which was apparently now her seating chart. She'd drawn tables on with the marker and then tore up little scraps of paper, and scribbled a bunch of names on them before attempting to meticulously arrange the seating plan. But judging from the lack of little scraps of paper on the newspaper chart, she was not doing so well.

"Also, how the f*** did Thor even get invited?! I _know_ I ain't got his e-mail contact, so there's no way this shit is my fault." She said before turning her eyes back to the seating chart. When Rogue is stressed she goes full hillbilly, and I love it to death.

"I invited 'im." Logan shrugged, grinning from behind his coffee mug as he took a sip.

"Why in blazes would you do that?!" Rogue balked at him, and I slid down into the seat that Ray had previously tried to occupy.

"If you can't find a spot for Thor, I totally don't mind sharing a seat. Just sayin'." Jubilee graciously offered, and Scott, Logan, myself and Rogue all voiced our displeasure at her idea. "What, it's not like I offered to let him share my _bed_ , which I am also open to..."

Again, we all voiced our disgust before I turned back to try and help Rogue work through her makeshift seating arrangements. After a few minutes, we'd set up a few tables for sure, and Jubilee jumped up to go fetch a glue stick for Rogue to make them permanent. And also because every time someone breezed into the damn kitchen, they'd kick up a draft and names would go flying around, which would make Rogue and I yell at everyone to stop moving around like a couple of crazies.

"Bobby can sit with Hawkeye." I said, dropping the scrap of paper with his name down at the table and tapping it with a nod, "They'll get along, they both think they're hilarious."

"So that's the reject table then." Rogue said, cracking a grin. It seemed like she was finally beginning to _normalize_ again when another person waltzed into the kitchen and sent our arrangements on edge. We both barked out of anger, fixing the few names that had been slightly jarred out of place, only to hear,

"Jesus, that's the kind of welcome back I get?"

We both turned around to see the stupid Cajun ass strolling his way across the kitchen to grab a banana out of the fruit bowl as he commented on how starving he was, to no one in particular.

Rogue was on her feet in a flash, causing her chair to topple over before darting across the kitchen and slamming her hands into his chest.

"You stupid jackass!" She shouted at him hotly, before bursting out into tears and wrapping her arms around him in a tight hug, as she cried into his chest. "What the f*** is wrong with you?!" She cried, yanking back far enough to punch him again, hard enough to make him wince, and then she peppered his face with kisses between strange garbled sobs.

Remy's eyes were wide as he watched her incredibly frightening display before he eventually jerked away and stared at her, "Who are you, and what have you done with Rogue?"

"She's been worried about you." Scott supplied, taking a mouthful of coffee and adding, "For some reason..."

Remy looked back at me, and I gave him a nod to confirm what Scott was saying, minus the snide comment, and he sighed and wrapped his arms around her, whispering some sweet nothings in her ear.

"You think I would just _leave_?" Remy said as he rubbed her back soothingly, "All my stuff is here."

Pete shot me a silent, smug little look.

Yeah, alright. You get points for knowing what the dipshit would say.

"I just needed to... process, I guess." He explained as Rogue pulled away from him with a sniffle. And then he shocked every single one of us by turning to Scott with his jaw squared and his mouth pressed in a thin line. "I owe you an apology. You know, for attacking you."

Scott was likely the most shocked of the bunch because all he could do was nod stupidly.

"And you don't breathe _that_ loud. I mean, you could maybe tone it down, or see a doctor... or don't. Whatever. It's your life." Remy shrugged before very reluctantly extending a hand, which Scott reluctantly accepted with a firm shake.

"No way man." Alex said, pushing off the stool with a frown, "Brothers don't shake hands, brothers gotta _hug_!"

Alex moved towards Scott and Remy with his arms extended, all poised to start a three way bear hug, when both of them jerked away from him _violently_ before yelling at him with a slew of colourful language.

That last one was Remy.

"Where the hell did you go?!" Rogue demanded, giving Remy another punch to the shoulder.

"I just went... for a drive." Remy shrugged casually as he rubbed the spot she'd punched.

"You were gone for a whole week, you didn't text or call or update your Instagram or anything! I thought you were f***ing dead!" Rogue barked again, giving him another punch.

"I'm sorry! I just... drove... and... I was tryin' to think of places where people go to clear their heads, and I remembered reading somewhere that people go to nature to find themselves, or some shit. But I hate nature."

Logan snorted and shook his head but remained silent, somehow.

"And then I thought: traveling. You know, go to Paris or Rome... see all the... stuff there." He shrugged and made a face, "But I left my passport at home. Plus, what do people in Rome speak? Italian... right?"

"It's in _Italy_." Scott said flatly. He's clearly the brains in the family.

"Right. Well anyway, I couldn't travel, and I hate nature, and I _used to_ just go get really drunk and have lots of meaningless sex, but I can't do _that_ anymore..." He said with an eye roll, like we were all supposed to feel sorry for him for that. "So I just kept driving... and sort of ended up at Disney World." Remy admitted with a hint of shame in his tone.

"What?!" I gaped, my shoulders slumping with a pout, "Aw man! I could have gone to Disney World with you! This is my dad and his new family all over again..."

"Well it ain't like I planned on it." Remy snapped at me, "It just happened."

" _Disney World?_ " Piotr gave Remy a confused look, "Like... Mickey Mouse?"

"You know what Disney World is, Pete. Don't play stupid." Remy replied hotly, and Pete rolled his eyes.

"You went to Disney World to clear your head and _I'm_ stupid?" Piotr said with a little eye roll before finishing up the last of his coffee and placing his mug in the dishwasher.

"Yeah, but it worked." Remy countered, "They got that Epcot place with all the different countries, so that was like traveling. They have Animal Kingdom which is like both travel _and_ nature. And Space Mountain, space travel. It just _worked_."

"How did _that_ work?" Scott sniffed.

"I had a lot of time to think while standing in lines. And they have free wifi so I did a bit of Google sleuthing." Remy shrugged.

"You _Googled_ my mom." Scott asked with a frown, and Alex laughed before stopping quickly when he realized that it was _not_ an appropriate joke.

" _Our_ mom." Alex amended quickly, as if that made up for laughing at the gross joke to begin with.

"I did some poking around." He replied evenly, which I interpreted to mean that he did _more_ than Google, and his means were probably less than legal. "We live in a digital age. It wasn't hard, actually... now that I knew where to look."

"What did you find?" Piotr asked, and I swear I saw Scott glare at him from behind his glasses. I mean, I don't know if he did, but I'm assuming he was glaring, going based on the way he clenched his jaw and the furrow of his brow.

Remy let out a breath and ran a hand through his hair, "She was young. 16 when she had me, likely 15 when she got pregnant. She stayed at this Baptist Home for "unwed mothers", and then gave me up." He said it all so simply, with a little shrug at the end, "Three years later she got married and had..." He flicked a hand towards Scott, who frowned quietly in response.

I cleared my throat and carefully said, "You seem really zen about it all..."

I mean, I know Disney is a magical place and all, but it's not like, _literally_ magical.

"I am." Remy nodded, finally taking a bite of his banana, "I mean, at first I wasn't. Obviously. But I think it was around day two... I got stuck on the Small World ride and was forced to listen to that God awful song on repeat for 20 minutes, and I got to thinkin'... I went my whole life thinking I was left at the curb of an orphanage just because of _me_. I always thought she took one look at me and was just... disgusted and horrified, and decided then and there that she couldn't stand to keep me. And then finding out who she _was_ just made me even more mad because she _kept them_." He used the half eaten banana to point at Scott and Alex, who were both incredibly quiet, and then pressed his lips together with a shake of his head,

"But now I know it wasn't _me_. It had nothin' to do with me, or my eyes, or my mutation. She'd planned all along to give me up, because she was too young _._ Learning that after a lifetime of thinkin' that I'm _garbage_ was... freeing. Plus, I like to think she's been lookin' out for me all along. After all, I spent the last 10 years livin' with my... biological... with these two." He stuffed the rest of his banana into his mouth, still apparently incapable of saying the word _brothers_ , and tossed his banana peel on the counter, because that's totally where they go Gambit. "It really makes you think, you know? It really _is_ a small world, after all."

We were all plunged into silence as we contemplated what Zen Remy had just philosophized, and Rogue leaned into him for another hug as she mumbled,

"That's gotta be the lamest thing you've ever said."

She's back to insulting him, so that's a good sign.

He snorted and wrapped his arm around her, returning the hug and a smirk, "Besides, it could have been worse." He added, choosing to ignore Rogue's comment, "I could have found out I was related to Rogue."

Rogue snorted and Scott cracked a grin and rubbed the back of his neck, "Yeah that would have been more problematic."

"Ooo... Redneck joke...! Something about... marrying cousins!" I snapped my fingers with my face twisted up, but my mind was unable to get there fast enough.

"So close." Pete gave me a sympathetic smile before turning to Remy, "I need to get to class, but I am glad that you are not dead, and that you're not related to Rogue."

"Me too." Zen Remy smiled serenely back.

"I'm glad you're back too, now you can help your fiancee figure out where to put Thor." I commented with an air of indifference, and Remy knit his brow.

"Is that a euphemism...?"

"I mean, maybe if _someone_ would have brought me along with them to Disney, I would be relaxed enough to help out." I continued with a shrug, "But whatever."

Remy gave his eyes a roll and pulled away from Rogue to dig around in his inner trench coat pocket, before pulling out a pair of pirate themed Mickey ears and handing them to me, "Here. Will you stop complaining now?"

My face lit up with a grin as I took the ears from him as if they were the most precious thing I'd ever seen, "You bought me ears?!"

"Sure." Remy grumbled, turning to grab an apple from the fruit bowl and taking a big bite, and I put the ears on my head proudly.

"Really? Cuz your name is on the back, brah." Alex pointed out, and I tore the ears off my head and flipped them over finding the name REMY stitched on the left ear in fancy cursive writing.

"I stole them." He explained lamely, as if that made any more sense.

I know it should make the gift mean less that they were re-gifted and possibly stolen, but it doesn't. It makes it mean so much more. Oh so much more.

The thought of Zen Remy walking around Disney with pirate Mickey ears is the best thing to ever happen to me, and I will cherish these pirate Mickey ears with Remy's name on the back for life.


	13. USA! USA! USA! etc

**_A/N- As always, thank you for the reviews. They make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside when the notifications pop up, and honestly they motivate me to power through when I'm struggling against some writers block._**

 ** _Which I kind of have been._**

 ** _Which brings me to my second note; I'm not sure how much longer I'll be able to keep up with the "one chapter a week" thing. I'm rapidly approaching the point where I am sluggishly writing along, struggling to get more than a sentence out before I get distracted by videos of cats on Pinterest._**

The following does not reflect the views or opinions of Marvel or the author known as 'Kinetically Charmed'.

 **Entry number thirteen:**

Alright, so I've been back for a little over a month now, and I think I've accumulated enough data to confidently conclude that Warren is in fact the worst.

He's totally taking advantage of the fact that I'm around and capable of subbing his classes, because he just took off for Paris to attend to some "family business", but I'm about 90% sure that this "family business" has to do with the Victoria Secret photo shoot at the Eiffel Tower with those angel models... the guy's clearly a narcissist, he has to go after models in underwear, wearing wings.

Also he's incredibly flighty.

And he acts like he's God's gift to women.

Okay, no more Angel jokes, for now. My point is that now I'm stuck taking over his classes for the unforeseen future, because he's off on cloud 9 joining the mile high club. Alright, now I'm done with the jokes, I swear.

To make matters worse, Warren teaches math. Which, as we can all remember, I hate. It's like now I'm stuck tutoring a whole class full of bratty Illyanas math, which I've had nightmares about before. Literal nightmares.

So, I'd made myself a little work station in the rec room, where I was bound and determined to make the most of my time as a math teacher. I was going to make math fun. I was going to be the Miss Frizzle of math, minus the magic and the bad hair and the terrible fashion sense. Scott and Rachel were set up at the table next to me, working on some glitter craft which I know must have been driving Scott crazy, because glitter is also the worst, along with Warren.

Tabby, Ray and Bobby were on the couch, watching some weird Japanese game shows while Tabby flipped through a tabloid and read out everyone's horoscopes, and Alison was set up at the end table with one ear bud in her ear, flipping through a Teen Vogue.

I let out a frustrated breath and looked up from my work with a frown, "Tabby, what do 15 year olds like right now? Is One Direction still a thing?"

"Hell if I know." Tabby snorted from behind her tabloid, "Besides, so what if they are, how would that help you teach math to kids?"

I frowned down at the course outline, "I could like, Weird Al one of their songs with math. I don't know, I'm just looking for inspiration."

"There's absolutely no need for that." Scott shook his head and looked up at me from Rachel's work of art, "Everything you need is right there in front of you. This is exactly what's wrong with the school system today, we're pandering to the kids. Just teach them the material, not everything needs to be a game, or a song, or a web comic, or a cartoon on YouTube, or whatever."

I rolled my eyes at him and looked back at my book, "Yeah, okay Robocop. I'm just trying to make it interesting so they might actually absorb the material, I'm not trying to be the Wiggles of math."

Rachel giggled at that and Scott's eyebrows perked up as he looked down at her, "Oh you think that's funny?" He teased with a little grin, and she nodded, "Traitor, you're supposed to be on _my_ side."

"Your side is _boring_." Tabby commented from behind her tabloid and Alison glanced up from her magazine with her eyebrows perked up.

"I met the blue Wiggle on an airplane once. He was really nice."

"Okay, well maybe Rachel can help me." I folded my hands over my book and gave her a smile, "What kinda stuff are you into right now? How do you think I should make math fun?"

She chewed her lip with a nervous little smile before saying, "My teacher lets us play math games on the big white board with makers. It's like a big computer, and we roll these dice and have to add the numbers the fastest, and whoever does it the fastest wins."

"See?" I gestured towards her and gave Scott a smug smile, " _Games_."

"Yeah, well she's 7. We have to make _getting ready for bed_ a game too, but I'm pretty sure the older kids could handle that." Scott replied dryly and I rolled my eyes at him.

"Sure they could handle it, but it's way more fun if it's a _game_. Obviously." I scoffed, and Rachel giggled again.

Damn, I am good with kids. I'm basically a cartoon character.

I caught sight of Remy as he entered the rec room and I leaned a little bit closer to Rachel with a little smirk on my face, lowering my voice to a whisper.

"I'll give $30 if you call Mr. Gambit _Uncle Mimi_."

"Kitty!" Scott balked at me with a frown, "You're _bribing_ my daughter? You can't do-"

"$35." I interrupted his tirade and Rachel's eyes glimmered with interest as she cast Scott an uncertain look.

He pressed his lips into a thin line and said, "$40. But I get 10%." Then he looked back down at Rachel, "Math is fun."

I frowned back at him, "You can't do that, I'm not giving you-"

"What's all this?" Remy's voice clammed me up and I snapped my mouth shut, looking up at him with an innocent smile, " _Math_ text books?"

He was observing my little work station with a curious little eyebrow raise and I shrugged, "Oh... Rachel was just helping me with some lesson plans, isn't that right?"

Rachel smiled bashfully and tucked her face against Scott's arm, and Remy pulled one of the chairs out at my table before casually dropping down into it.

"Lesson plans, huh?" He asked, still looking over the books, "What does this mean, are you actually... did you take a _job_ here?"

"No, it means that Warren thinks that because I'm not Rogue, I won't inflict physical pain on him for leaving me with his work load to go flitting off to Paris with some Victoria Secret Angels." I said, turning back to my text book.

"Mmm." Remy nodded, "He'll learn. He wasn't here when you drove that car at me." He squinted thoughtfully and let his eyes drift up to the ceiling, "Or that time you threw a shoe at Pete..."

"See? I'm plenty capable of inflicting physical pain." I shrugged, even though driving a car at Remy didn't inflict any physical pain. Just emotional. Apparently.

"Well, it looks good on you." He commented, leaning back in his chair and folded his hands behind his head with that Zen Remy smile he's been wearing since his Disney reawakening, "The teacher thing."

"Everyone loves a sexy math teacher." Ray piped in from the couch, without looking away from his Japanese game show.

My face twisted up in confusion and I frowned, "Thanks...?"

"You know, now that I think of it, we don't actually have anyone teachin' Geography right now. That'd be perfect for you." Remy smirked, "With all your travel experience."

"Even better. Sexy geography teacher, like Carmen Sandiego." Ray amended, giving Bobby a little bro nudge.

I do like Carmen Sandiego...

I furrowed my brow at him suspiciously, "What's your angle here, Gambit? Are you supposed to teach Geography next year or something? Are you trying to foist off your responsibilities onto me?"

He snorted, "You kiddin' me? Stormy won't let me teach anymore. Especially not after the last time I taught Geography." He smirked to himself, "It was more like... anatomy. Anyway, I'm just sayin', I think you'd be good for the job."

I chuckled and shook my head, "Well, thanks. But the Professor couldn't afford me."

"Yeah, but you'd get to move back home. You can't put a price on that." Remy countered.

"Yes you can. Six figures, plus benefits. Boom. Price." I replied with a little grin. I am doing just fine in the cash flow department, thank you very much. I have investments. I have savings. Katherine shall want for nothing.

"Besides, I'm not so sure I'm cut out to be a teacher." I finished up with an eye roll and went back to attempting to figure out how I could work Carmen Sandiego into math.

I couldn't.

Remy scoffed, "What are you talkin' about, _minette?_ You're a natural. Stormy's trusting you with whole lesson plans already, it took her months to trust Rogue with that crap."

"I'm pretty sure she's only trusting me out of desperation and necessity." I snorted.

"You'd be great at teachin' the kids combat skills with Rogue, too." Remy pointed out, "Plus you're basically already teaching full time, _and_ helping plan a wedding, and you're still less stressed than you were at your old job."

I cut my eyes to him and quirked a brow, " _Old_ job?"

"Isn't it nice to be back home, all settled in one place with a job that you know is low stress, but still makes a _difference_?"

I crossed my arms and raised both eyebrows with an amused smirk, "What are you doing right now?"

"Nothin' at all, just pointing out how much better off you been since you came home. You... _glow_. You're relaxed, you smile more, I'm pretty sure you've even lost some weight."

"See, now I know you're full of it because I've actually gained weight, thanks to you and your wife-to-be." I rolled my eyes and went back to the text book.

"He's got a point." Bobby twisted around to look at me from the couch as he stroked his beard thoughtfully, "You've been a really big help to the whole team, you fit in, and you _look_ happier."

I wasn't about to inform everyone that I _look_ _happier_ because I've been getting some tail, so I simply shrugged, "Look, it's apples and oranges. Have I been enjoying my time here? Yes, obviously. A lot. But it's not real, it's like when Cory and Topanga wanted to move to Hawaii on their honeymoon because they loved it there so much, but then they realized that it's not _real life_. It's the vacation haze."

Remy stared at me with a frown for a long moment before giving his head a shake, "Who the f*** are Cory and Topanga?"

"Gambit!" Scott barked, clapping his glittery hands over Rachel's ears with a scowl, "Language!"

"Oh please, she's heard it plenty of times by now." Remy rolled his eyes before turning to Rachel and fixing her with an apologetic frown, "Je suis tres desole, petite."

She smiled softly back at him and then went back to her artwork, saying "It's okay, Uncle Mimi."

$35 well spent.

 _Scott_ even laughed.

"My point _is_ ," Remy said with a bemused little smile once the laughter died down a little bit, "London kind of sucks. Who even wants to live there anymore?"

"Ooh, London!" Alison piped up, lowering her Teen Vogue with a smile, "I love London! I've always wanted to go shopping there. Plus they have Victoria Beckham. Oh, and Gwyneth Paltrow, and I think Madonna. And Benedict Cumberbatch!"

"Yeah but _other_ than those people, who wants to live there?" Tabby snorted with a little laugh and shook her head.

Remy sighed at Alison and looked back to me, "All I'm sayin' is, England might pay you better, but we got somethin' they can't offer. _Family_."

Ugh, Zen Remy and his stupid nuggets of wisdom. Sure he can wax poetic about family, but he still can't bring himself to use the 'B' word when referring to Scott or Alex.

"Believe it or not, but I have "family" back in England too, Remy." I snorted, making sure I used the finger quotes.

"No you don't. You have _friends_. _Co-workers_. But you don't have family. Not like us." He said with a shrug.

"Sure, what if Rogue has a _baby_? If you want to be the favorite _aunt_ , you have to be here. Jean's next in line." Scott pointed out, before looking up at Remy and offering him a highly amused smile, and Remy shot him a little scowl.

I am absolutely loving this dynamic. The love/hate relationship is killing me in the best way.

"Sure." Remy said evenly, turning back to me with a tight smile, "If... that... were to happen. Then yeah. That."

I rolled my eyes at him and then went back to my lesson plan, "Yeah well, when that happens then I'll definitely move back. Deal?"

He frowned at me, knowing that I'd caught him at his own game. There was no way Rogue was going to start shooting out babies, and we both knew it.

"Again, you can't put a price on family, Kitty." He said with uncharacteristic seriousness, and I'm once again blaming Zen Remy.

Tabby lowered her tabloid and let out a breath, "You know how much I hate to agree with people, in general. But I do kind of agree with Gambit." She said with a nod, "I mean, what the hell do you have in London now that you're no longer dating that fine piece of British ass, Wisdom?"

"I have Doug, I have my partner Betsy-"

"Yes but here you would have _us_." Remy interrupted.

"And apple pie." Bobby added.

"Better Netflix." Ray added some more.

"Malls." Tabby continued.

I rolled my eyes with a laugh and tried my best to drown out their growing list of things America is better at. I mean, here's the thing; this whole topic isn't exactly new to me. I've thought about it. I've been thinking about it, ever since Pete and I joked around about moving back. It isn't like I'm completely opposed to the idea, because I _do_ love it here, and it _is_ my home, but that doesn't make it the right move, and I really want to make sure it's the right move. Am I really ready to essentially give up the career that I've worked so hard to build, to move to a school? And _teach_? I mean, I wouldn't have to teach... there are other options... I'm just taking the time to properly weigh out my options here, and I don't exactly want to announce to the world where my thought process is right now until I've made an actual decision.

Remy is absolutely free to try and woo me, just like MI13 did, but without the money, which will be far less effective. Sorry Mimi.

At any rate, I wasn't in any rush to make a decision, and I certainly wasn't about to give Remy a foothold by telling him that I'd been thinking about eventually moving back, so I just worked away in silence while they all went about creating their list of reasons why America is the best, before eventually Ray and Bobby just started chanting _"USA! USA! USA!"_

I turned to Remy, and pursed my lips with a little smirk, "So tell me... did Rogue put you up to all of this?"

"All of what?" He asked innocently and I raised an eyebrow.

"All of _this_. Trying to convince me to move back." I waved a hand towards the couch where Ray and Bobby were still chanting.

"No." He shrugged. "I just... wanted you to know what you're missing."

I looked back at the two morons chanting USA on the couch as they watched Japanese game shows, and then turned back to Remy with a pointed look.

"Not _that_." He snorted, jerking his thumb towards them before turning and inclining his head at Rachel and Scott, as they tried to clean up a tube of glitter that had tipped over and dumped onto the table. "That. Us. All of it."

I smiled and crossed my arms, "You big softie."

"Just... remember that life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it."

I squinted at him and cocked my head, "Is that... Ferris Bueller?"

"Yes it is." He replied simply, "It was on TV in the hotel."

Of course it was.

"I like having you here. Rogue likes having you here. And you like _being_ here." He summed up with a shrug, and then leaned back in the chair casually. "So stay."

"Right. Well unfortunately it's not that simple-"

"Sure it is, minette." He grinned, "Nothin's ever as complicated as you make it out to be."

"Seriously, _where_ is all this coming from?" I knit my brow.

"I've gained some new perspective, that's all. I know what's important to me now." He leveled his gaze at me and raised an eyebrow, "Don't abandon me again, Katherine Anne."

"Really? Was that entirely necessary?" Scott snapped, and Remy chuckled.

"I'm just tryin' to guilt her a little bit, don't be so uptight. 'Sides, I don't know why _you're_ so touchy about it, she kept you."

Scott's face went red and contorted with anger as he jabbed a finger at Remy, "You can't just say things like that Gambit, she was my _mother_! You may not have known her but-"

"Alright, relax." Remy waved a hand, "I was just makin' a joke, you don't need to be all _sensitive_." He turned his eyes back to me and knit his brow, "You know, I always wanted a sister." And then he swept his eyes back to Scott with a grin, "And now I have one."

I imagine Scott was rolling his eyes behind his glasses, but the fact that he had glitter stuck to his face wasn't really helping. I bit my lips together in a desperate attempt to keep myself from laughing, and flicked my eyes back to the text book.

I was able to work for a few minutes before Logan came to a stop in the rec room doorway, grease smeared across his white t-shirt and face as he frowned, "Has anyone seen Pete?" He asked, wiping his hands off on a rag.

"Why?" Bobby asked, because above all else, he's super helpful.

Logan huffed out an irritated sigh. "I got some boxes I need moved in the garage, and I can't reach the top shelves."

"Why don't you use your step ladder?" Tabby chimed in. "You know, we got you that thing for a reason..."

"I can't find it," He grunted. "Now do you know where Pete is or not-"

"He's up in his room, havin' a Skype date with his woman." Remy said, waving Logan off.

"Wait what?" My head snapped up and I stared at Remy, "His what?"

"Jenny." Remy sneered out her name with a little eye roll.

"Um... what?" I said again stupidly as I blinked at Remy.

" _Jen-ny._ " Remy repeated, slightly louder with an irritated little huff. "Seriously, are you losing your hearing? Is it from the gun? That's definitely a liability in the field, minette."

"Oh, Jenny. She's not _his_ woman. _A_ woman, sure. You meant _a_ woman." I chuckled and gave my head a shake, "That's the difference between a definite article and an indefinite article. It's a good thing you never taught English."

Stop talking, Kitty.

Remy gave me a weird look and said, "Sure. Whatever." He looked back at Logan and gave his head a shake, "I wouldn't go up there, if I were you. Things can get real _freaky_ on Skype. In my experience at least." He chuckled as he stood up from his chair, "I'll help you reach your boxes, petite."

Logan growled and fixed Remy with a death glare.

"Ew, they're _not_ getting freaky on Skype." I grimaced, "That's not what Skype is for."

"It is how _I_ use it." Tabby grinned from behind her Tabloid.

"They're not even _dating_ anymore. They don't do anything freaky on Skype, they're just you know, catching up, probably."

"I bet Jenny is a real freak." Tabby mused with a sick little grin, "It must get lonely up north, maybe she's lookin' for some carnal companionship. You don't need to be _dating_ to enjoy that." She gave me a little eyebrow wag.

I rolled my eyes, "Please, Pete isn't the type of guy that would just mess aroun-" I stopped myself mid sentence as I realized what I was saying. That's exactly what Pete is doing. With me. He's messing around, with me. Who's to say he's not messing around with Jenny? I cleared my throat and gave my head a shake, "I need to go finish this in my room. You guys aren't being helpful at all, and I'm totally getting distracted."

I gathered up my books and tucked them under my arm quickly, before making my exit and heading on upstairs to my bedroom. Which, by the way, is still absolutely littered with mini whiskey bottles and fancy organza bags. This was the whole reason I was doing the lesson planning down in the rec room, because I have zero space. My entire bed is covered in the prepared wedding favors, and I had the fleeting thought as I closed the door behind me that I was pretty lucky I'd been sleeping in Pete's room the whole time.

Which instantly soured my mood. I scowled at the bed full of wedding favors and grumbled under my breath as I carefully cleared them off, about stupid Jenny, and how she just _had_ to pop back up and make me clear off my bed. I had a good thing going, stupid Strawberry Jenny. I organized the textbook and my notebook out in front of me and got down to work, after a quick 20 minute scan of Pinterest.

I got distracted looking up cat memes.

I totally wasn't even thinking about Pete and Jenny, because it totally ain't no thang. They were just talking. And even if it weren't just talking, who _cares_? Good for Pete, if it is a "thang". Good for Pete and Jenny. Pete and Jenny sitting in a tree, etc. What do I care anyway? I live in England, where there are no trees. Metaphorically speaking. I mean, there are trees, but nobody is sitting in them, least of all me.

I worked for another 20 minutes, trying to Miss Frizzle my lesson plans, and definitely not thinking about Pete until I finally decided I needed an expert opinion. I checked the time, and figured Pete should be finished with The Woman, sliding off my bed and tip toeing through the wedding favor land mines with my notebook tucked under my arm before making my way down to Pete's room.

And instantly, my blood ran cold. Pete was talking, and I could _distinctly_ hear the sound of a woman's voice talking back from the other side of his closed door. I balked at the door in utter astonishment/outrage. It had been forty minutes! And God knows how long they were _chatting_ before Remy so casually informed us all of Pete's Skype activities. I don't even understand. I don't even talk to my mother for that long on Skype. What in God's name could they possibly have been discussing, how cold it is in Canada?! Does it really take an hour to talk about that crap?!

I sucked in a deep breath and forced myself calm. I don't even care. Like, I'm totally not making a big deal about this. I talk to Wisdom all the time.

Okay not _all_ the time. Sometimes. Usually for work. But I still talk to him, we're on good terms. It wouldn't be super weird if we were to Skype. Maybe a little weird, but not super weird. Plus none of this even matters. It's totally a moot point, because Pete and I aren't actually a thing. We're just... being casual. Which is why I'm totally cool with it. I don't even care. I mean, I care a little, obviously. But that's totally my own issue. I need to check myself, you know?

This is part of having an adult, no strings attached arrangement. I need to keep those stings detached. So really, it was _good_ that I overheard them taking, because this is clearly an issue that needs to be addressed. I need to work this out. I definitely cannot be jealous about Pete. I'm _not_.

...I might be a little bit jealous.

I think I need to process this.


	14. Green Eyed Monster

The following does not reflect the views or opinions of Marvel or the author known as 'Kinetically Charmed'.

 **Entry number fourteen:**

I woke up the next morning bright and early with a stiff neck, apparently having fallen asleep in an upright position while working on the lesson plans for Warren's class. This obviously made me cranky, and it totally had nothing to do with anything that happened the night prior. Obviously.

I freshened up and got changed before making my way down to the kitchen for some breakfast, which is apparently what everyone else had in mind too, because it was _packed_. Note to self; 7:30 AM is a bad time to get breakfast. I clenched my jaw and forced a tight smile when Alison cheerfully bid me good morning, followed loudly by Ray, and then Bobby, and then Kurt, and then Jubilee, who seemed _extra_ excited to see me, which is never a good thing.

"Oh! So I have such an awesome idea for the wedding! I was playing around with different raps, and then decided to look some wedding raps up on YouTube to get a better idea-"

"No." I said flatly, without even bothering to turn to look at her as I eyed up the omelette Ray was making over the stove before deciding that I wasn't patient enough for an omelette, and settling for some Frosted Flakes. "Rogue already told you no raps."

"I know, but I wanted to get something ready for her, to show as like, a little presentation." She said with the flick of her wrist before pulling her phone out of her back pocket and thrusting it towards me, "Just watch this, it's _so cute_. This is what I want to do."

She pressed play and I took the phone out of her hand, setting the box of Frosted Flakes down on the counter with a huff, "Holy crap, Jubilee, this video is nine and a half minutes long."

"Just trust me, it's totally worth it." She assured me and I frowned up at her.

I tried watching the video, I really did. But I only got three minutes into it before jerking the phone back towards her with a frown, "This shit is awful, it's totally not helping your case."

Her shoulders sagged and she pouted, "It's adorable!"

"These people were audibly kidnapped for one sixth of an hour, Jubilee. That's not adorable, that violates the Geneva Convention." I informed her as I poured myself a bowl of cereal, indicating that this was not open for discussion. Case closed.

I poured some milk over my Frosted Flakes and ignored Kurt who began doing his impression of Tony the Tiger, moving to the table to sit down and try to eat in peace. _Try_ being the operative word.

I was halfway finished when Bobby began reefing through the pantry with growing frustration.

"Aw man! Who's been eating all my Cliff bars?!" He griped as he turned around with the nearly empty box in his hand, "I have my name on the box you guys! These things aren't cheap!"

"Kitty did it." Ray said, totally throwing me under the bus between bites of his omelette. "I saw her going to town on them a few days ago."

"What? I totally did not." I snapped defensively.

I totally did. I even saw his name on the box and didn't care. I was _hungry_.

"Dammit Kitty!" Bobby whined, stuffing the nearly empty box back into the pantry, where it _barely_ fit, "They're expensive! And they're not for snacking, they're energy bars. It's not a wonder you can't fit into your stupid bridesmaid dress. This is _why_."

"Excuse me?!" I barked back at him, "The seamstress made an _error._ "

Bobby silently rolled his eyes, but wisely kept his mouth shut as he ripped into one of his last remaining Cliff bars. I don't even feel guilty, guys. I can't tell you how many times that dude has eaten my food when I lived here.

He owed me.

I finished up my cereal and squeezed my way through the bustle of people to rinse my bowl and load it into the dishwasher when Pete walked in.

He nodded when Tabby and Ray bid him good morning before making his way over to the coffee pot, which I was standing next to, impatiently drumming my fingers on the counter as I waited for it to brew.

"Since when do you drink coffee?" He asked with an amused little grin.

"I've been drinking coffee for years." I snapped irritably. To be fair, I only sort of drink coffee. Sometimes it's a necessity with late nights and stakeouts on the job, but I don't drink if often because it makes me jittery.

Piotr nodded, "You are in a bad mood, got it. Woke up on the wrong side of the bed?" The fact that he pointed it out only made it worse, and then he lowered his voice with a suggestive little grin, "Or maybe it was _in_ the wrong bed?"

I rolled my eyes with a deep frown, "I have my own room for a reason, Piotr. You can't just _expect_ me to-"

"Relax, I was kidding." He interrupted me before I could continue, his eyes drifting around casually, likely checking to see if anyone was within listening distance as I pulled the coffee pot out of the machine and poured some into my mug. "I heard you were working on some lesson plans for Warren's class." He commented as I shoved the coffee pot towards him, "If you need a hand I am happy to help."

"Yeah." I scoffed, "I'll pass, thanks. No offense or anything but Math is boring enough as it is, the whole idea is to try and make it interesting, you're not exactly the first person I would run to."

He paused as he poured the coffee into his mug and cocked his head, "Uh... yeah, alright. No offense taken." He replied sarcastically.

I rolled my eyes as I scooped a few heaping spoons of sugar into my coffee, "This isn't news to anyone, Piotr. You're French _vanilla_ for a reason, don't get all defensive about it."

He knit his brow at me silently for a moment before giving his head a shake, "What has gotten _into_ you? Did I do something-"

"Nothing has gotten into me, I'm just pointing out the truth. The boring, pushover thing totally works for you, but it's just not me." I shrugged as I poured some milk into my mug, looking up at him as I stirred to see the silent shock all over his face. He squared his jaw after a moment and knit his brow.

"Is that so? Well you are clearly the expert with children, with your 4 substitute classes of experience to my 4 years. So please, tell me how I could improve, Kitty."

"I know a hell of a lot more about children than _you_ do, I've got f***ing maternal instincts, and I know they don't like to be bored half to death." I snapped back at him.

" _Really_? Do they like to be _controlled_ to death? Because that is what you seem to be good at." He retorted with a little scowl, "I mean, if we are just pointing out "the truth" here, then you won't mind at all if I mention that you are a complete and total control freak. _No offense_."

My mouth dropped open and I glared at him, "I am _not_ a control freak."

"Everything _has_ to go your way. No other way could possibly ever work, right?" He bit out with a humourless little laugh, "You flew across an ocean to control a wedding that _isn't even yours_!"

"I'm helping!" I barked defensively.

"I do not remember anyone _asking_." He shot back.

"You think I did that for me?!" I shouted back at him, only vaguely aware of the fact that everyone had stopped what they were doing to watch our argument, "You honestly think I enjoy-"

"Do not try to tell me you don't enjoy it, you _get off_ on it." He snapped, "You act like everyone would be completely helpless without you, and that's exactly the way you want it!"

I steeled myself with a breath and then ground out, "I do _not_ enjoy it. I'm on f***ing _stress leave_ , Piotr. You think that I enjoy not being able to sleep at night because I'm worried about _everything_ and can't shut my mind down?! You think I would do this on purpose?!" I shouted, slamming my mug down on the counter with far more force than necessary, "You're right, I never should have come back to this... God forsaken _insane asylum_. I'm no more relaxed here than I was in London, I'm far better off over there, and that's while I'm being _shot at_!"

"You're so _dramatic_." Piotr groaned with an exaggerated eye roll, scooping up his coffee mug and giving his head a shake, "It is too early to deal with you, I'm done with this."

I seethed at him, watching as he marched his way across the kitchen with his mug in hand, before shouting out, "Lesson learned, Kitty! Next time go to Cancun!"

I was _fuming_ mad. I was positively _thrumming_ with anger. And then I glanced around with my crazed eyes and realized that everyone had stopped what they were doing to ogle like a bunch of slack-jawed yokels.

" _What_?!" I barked, "What the hell is wrong with you people?! Mind your own damn business, don't you all have anything better to do?!"

I abandoned my coffee and stomped my way out through the kitchen and did the only logical thing my fury clouded brain could think of; I marched my ass to the supply closet and snatched the caddy of cleaning supplies up and hauling the vacuum out of there, dragging it along behind me down the hall to the library and went to work.

Because when I get mad, I clean. Apparently.

Which is what the morons in the kitchen should have been doing instead of sitting around gossiping all day.

I dusted the hell out of those books, and then I cleaned the windows until they were perfectly spotless, and then I went about angrily vacuuming, ramming the head of the vacuum into the table and chairs with some extra force, just because it felt good.

I was in there for a good thirty minutes before Logan strolled in, with his coffee in hand, leaning against the door jamb as he happily watched until I powered the vacuum down.

"Got somethin' on your mind, kid?" He asked with a little grin, "Lovers quarrel?"

My head snapped up and I glared at him, unsure of exactly what he was implying, because he totally wasn't in the kitchen and so there's a good chance that the rumour mill had already begun churning up some results. He quirked a brow before taking a sip of his coffee, and I took that to mean that he was clueless.

"I don't know what you're talking about. Just trying to help out around here." I grumbled ripping the cord out of the wall before winding it back up.

"Uh huh." Logan grunted skeptically, "Take it easy on the furniture, would ya?"

I glowered at him before grumbling in response, which is when Jubilee breezed past him in the doorway with a notepad in one hand and a pencil in the other.

"Here you are! I've been looking all over for you!" She said happily, "I wanted to let you hear some of what I have so far, for the rap. I thought maybe you could help me iron it out a bit. Nothing rhymes with Gambit, have you noticed that?"

"I already said no to the f***ing rap, Jubilee."

"Just hear me out!" She held up a hand, "You'll totally be singing a different tune when you hear it." She said, glancing back at Logan with a nod, hoping for some show of support from him.

"I'd love to hear it, kiddo." His eyes danced with amusement, lifting his mug back up to his mouth.

"Okay, so the first one is kind of like a... _You're a kick ass kinda person. You like sex and being awesome._ _"_ She began, much to my dismay, " _But d_ _o you love sex more than wedding cake?_ And then it'll just like, repeat..."

Logan gave her an impressed look, which was so _clearly_ fake and exaggerated, before turning to me with a grin, "Not bad, eh Half Pint?"

"But then I was thinking of doing these smaller more like, personalized raps, and then trying to kind of, weave them together." Jubilee continued excitedly, "More like a, _R to the O to the G-U-E, she just got hitched for the whole world to see, her._ "

I bit my lip and closed my eyes, turning back to the vacuum in a concerted attempt to ignore Jubilee and her stupid not-rhyming raps, and Logan who was clearly taking some sort of sick amount of pleasure in my anger.

" _R to the E to the M and Y, this dawg just got married and all the girls cry, sad._ "

Seriously, my blood was boiling. Why are you adding an extra word, Jubilee, just stop on the goddamn rhyme!

 _"M to the A to the double R Y they just tied the knot an they both lookin fly, good."_ She made a little sound of approval and scribbled something down on her notepad, "I like that one..."

I squared my jaw and clenched my teeth silently, exhaling slowly through my nose, "Sure." I replied calmly. Because like _hell_ I'm a control freak. No effing way. "That sounds like a great idea, Jubilee. And we can all show up wearing denim cutoffs and crackin' open beers during the ceremony."

"Sounds good to me." Logan smiled, completely unaffected by my sharp glare.

"Really?!" Jubilee squealed excitedly, clapping her hand against the notepad as she jumped in place, "You mean that?! _L to the O to the V and the E, gonna be forever married and live happily, ever after._ "

Hell to the no. I am not going to be the one to tell this girl she can't perform her shit raps at the reception. Rogue is the bride, Rogue can do it.

Kitty out.

"They're great." I lied, which was almost physically painful, "You should take them to Rogue. Totally."

Jubilee did another little triumphant fist pump before spinning around and cheerfully bounding past Logan who gave me a wide grin.

"Your eye is twitching." He commented, pointing at me with his mug before taking another sip, "When you're done in here, come do my office, wouldja?"

I sneered at him silently, watching as he turned around and disappeared into his office.

I definitely did not clean his stupid office. I did however work my way down the hall to the rec room, where I further unleashed my fury as I ran over this entire shit day in my mind on repeat. None of this would have even happened if Piotr hadn't been talking to that stupid Jenny last night. I wouldn't have woken up with a sore neck, which really is the catalyst for all of this crap, because if I didn't have a sore neck, I would have found a way to politely tell Jubilee to f*** off with her stupid rap.

I mean, the sore neck, and the fact that I'm completely jealous of Jenny.

That is, after all, the reason I was up so late trying to distract myself with the stupid lesson plan. Why am I jealous of Jenny? Why?! I've never been jealous of this woman before, I shouldn't even care, but I _do_.

I thought I could sort through all of this on my own, because Rogue's got enough on her plate, and by the time I realized I was jealous, it was like 4 AM in England and Doug gets really cranky if he doesn't get enough sleep, so it's not as if I could have just called him. Plus, I'm a grown ass woman, I shouldn't need to talk through my feelings. I should be able to figure my own shit out. I _should_ , dammit.

Except clearly I cannot. Because instead of sorting anything out, I picked a fight with Piotr. I mean sure, his whole "asking where I was last night because he's gotten used to getting some" thing wasn't exactly super tactful, but it definitely wasn't enough to push me over the edge. Not even Bobby bitching about his Cliff bars can excuse that.

I was totally mean.

A wave of guilt washed over me, my fury slowly dissipating along with my desire to clean as I slumped down onto the couch.

Plus, He's totally right. I _am_ a control freak. I'm a mean ol' control freak. I mean, how would I feel if one day Pete showed up to my work and started giving me pointers on how to fill out my paperwork, or like, diffuse a bomb. Insisting that I was doing it wrong, even though I do it _every day_.

Even though I don't diffuse bombs every day. I did that once. And it technically wasn't a live bomb to begin with, but we didn't know that at the time, and that's totally besides the point. The point is that I wouldn't like it if he started acting like a know-it-all and outright insulted me for it.

He's not even a pushover. He's patient, and kind, and sweet, and his students _love_ him, and yeah he may not have the same style as me -the Miss Frizzle wannabe- but he's not _boring_.

I'm an awful, terrible human being.

And that's where I was when Rogue found me; sitting on the couch, staring blankly off into space, as I contemplated what all of this meant.

"What did you _do_?!" Rogue barked with a wild glint in her eye and her hair standing up in a multitude of different directions.

My back straightened and I turned to look back at her, blinking a few times at her haggard appearance, "What did I do?"

"I just sat through a ten minute YouTube video of some f***ing wedding reception rap, followed by a lengthy demonstration of Jubilee's raps." She snapped, marching across the room to stand in front of me, "You told her it was a good idea! You told her to come show me!?"

"Oh, that." I winced, "Yeah, I-"

"You're supposed to be my buffer! We're a _team_!"

"I just... I was trying to be less controlling." I replied calmly, and Rogue snorted.

"Why the f*** would you do that?! I _need_ you to be controlling!" She cried, throwing her hands up in exasperation.

"You don't think I'm being... I don't know... control freak?" I asked meekly, and Rogue gave her eyes a massive roll.

"Of _course_ I do! You're a control freak, and I need that! Go back to being that! What the hell happened to you?! You know that Alex is walking around talkin' about wearing cutoffs for the ceremony? Because he is. And if you don't go back to being a control freak, Remy is going to be short one brother. Real fast."

I shrugged, "Do you think he'd really care...?"

She turned her crazed glare on me and I held up my hands in surrender, "Kidding! Geeze! I will tell Alex no cutoffs, and I'll tell Jubilee no rap, calm down, would you?"

Rogue let out a long sigh and dropped down onto the couch next to me with a pathetic little whimper. Seriously guys, I have no idea how Alex got the cutoff idea, he wasn't even around when I said it sarcastically. Was he actually planning on cutoffs the whole time...?

"Do you wanna tell me why the f*** you're goin' soft on me?" Rogue asked, dropping her head back against the couch and tipping it to the side to look at me.

"Pete and I had a fight." I shrugged.

"Yeah, I know. Everyone knows, you were screamin' at each other in the kitchen for everyone to see." She raised an eyebrow, "What's that got to do with it?"

"I have... feelings." I frowned and glanced over at Rogue who grimaced.

"Ugh, feelings are terrible."

"Confusing feelings." I clarified.

"Even worse."

"I don't know what to do about them."

Rogue shrugged, "Well, definitely don't go around tellin' people they can write and perform a rap at my damn wedding, that's a start." I snorted out a laugh and Rogue turned to frown at me, "They don't even _rhyme_ , Kitty."

"I _know._ She keeps going, just stop it on the rhyme Jubilee, don't be effing weird." I agreed and Rogue relaxed a little more.

She let out a breath and shook her head, "Do you _really_ want to talk about these confusing feelings...? I'm super busy today, I gotta get the marriage license and pick up the rings and Google some wedding vows so people think we wrote our own... but if you wanna talk about it, I can talk."

I smirked at her and shook my head, "No, it's fine. I'll... talk to Pete. I should apologize to him first anyway, I was a super jerk."

She nodded and closed her eyes, "That's what I heard."

Sometimes I really don't miss this place.

I left Rogue to have her momentary rest on the couch before she needed to Google her vows, and made my way up to the classrooms, glancing at the time on my phone. It was halfway through lunch, and knowing Pete, he was holed up in the classroom marking stuff while he scarfed down something he scrounged up in the kitchen. This was good. I had a half an hour to try and explain myself to him before the students would come piling back in.

I came to a stop at the open door finding Pete at his desk, marking homework as I'd suspected, finishing up one of Bobby's coveted Cliff bars. See? I knew I wasn't the only one stealing those things, Bobby. I expect an apology.

I knocked on the doorjamb and offered Pete a tight lipped smile when he glanced up.

"You've come to offer me some more teaching advice?" He asked sarcastically, his attention turning back to the papers in front of him as I meekly stepped into the class and shut the door behind me.

"No. I came to apologize."

He squared his jaw and kept his attention on his work, and I moved across the classroom, pulling a chair free from one of the desks at the front and sitting down with a frown.

"I'm a jerk."

"No arguments here." Piotr replied with a wry little smile.

"I'm so sorry." I sighed and rubbed a hand over my face, "There's no excuse for it... and the stuff I said, it isn't even true. I didn't mean _any_ of it. You're not a pushover, you're... patient. And kind. And a _good_ teacher."

"Alright. Apology accepted." He said, waving his hand to stop my gushing with just the trace of a smile on his lips. He stood up and turned to the blackboard with his class notes in hand and plucked the chalk up from the ledge, glancing back at me from over his shoulder. "Did you want to talk about what the hell your problem was this morning?"

"Actually, yes. I did." I said with a nod, and Pete turned back to start writing on the chalkboard. I shot out a breath and squared my jaw. Now or never, Kitty. "I overheard you talking with Jenny last night."

He stopped writing, the chalk still pressed up against the board in the middle of writing a word, "Okay...?"

"I wasn't _listening_ or anything." I added quickly, pressing my lips together and frowning down at the floor, "But I heard, and it made me jealous."

He lowered the chalk and looked back at me, furrowing his brow in confusion, "Of Jenny?"

" _Yes_ , of Jenny. Of you talking to your ex girlfriend and doing... _whatever_ over Skype. It doesn't even matter what you were doing, it _shouldn't_ have mattered, we don't owe each other anything, we aren't _dating_." I sighed and rolled my eyes up to him, "I don't like the thought of you and Jenny, and the pin in your relationship, I don't want you pinning anyone. And I know I shouldn't be jealous, it's ridiculous, I keep thinking to myself that I've never been jealous of Jenny before, why the hell now, right?! And then it just... hit me. I have feelings for you."

Piotr, who had been silently staring at me with his eyebrows raised right up into his hairline, finally cleared his throat and said, "Um... what?"

"Yeah. I know." I pressed my lips into a frown, "I have feelings for you, again. Or still. I don't really know if they ever went away, which is just _extra_ confusing, and honestly makes this whole thing we've been doing even more of a stupid idea-"

"Katya." Pete interrupted me, his eyes closed and a hand held up, "Slow down. What are you saying?"

"Right, sorry." I stood up, filled with the sudden burst of confidence my admission brought on, "I'm saying that I... want a real relationship. I don't want to do this stupid... casual thing. I want to be your _girlfriend_. Again." I added as an afterthought and then took a few steps towards him, "I mean, if you think about it, we're basically dating already. 90% of my things are in your room, I sleep in your bed every night, it's just not... _official,_ right?"

He pressed his lips together, dropping the chalk back into the holder and dusting his hands off, "Katya..." He sighed, giving his head a shake, "You do not even live on the same continent. How would that even work?"

"I don't know, but we could make it work. If we wanted to." I knit my brow and gave my head a shake, closing the space between us a little more and reaching out to smooth his tie between my fingers, tipping my chin up to give him a hopeful little smile, "It might be difficult, but I'm here _now_ , we can figure out the details as we go."

I wasn't about to bring up the fact that I'd been considering moving back, because I definitely didn't want that to be a factor here. It's not a factor until it's an absolute.

"I had not... even considered all of this." He pinched the bridge of his nose with a breath, "I just need a minute to process it all..."

The confidence supplied from my admission slowly began to trickle away as I took in the look on his face. What if he doesn't feel the same way, and I've totally just put myself out there only to be rejected?! I don't know about you, but I don't take rejection well. I felt kind of like an idiot, standing there, just assuming he was going to want to jump into a relationship headfirst.

I closed my eyes and winced, "Right. I mean, I totally understand if you don't feel that way about me anymore, it was super presumptuous of me to just- that's kind of the whole point of the no strings attached thing, right? And here I am, trying to attach strings, and you're totally getting more than you bargained for. You hadn't even considered it... _Us_. Ugh, Kurt was right, this was so stupid, why did we think we could mess around as _just friends_?!" I rubbed my finger tips on my forehead with a frown, "I hate it when Kurt is right, he gets all pompous and cocky-"

"I had not considered it, because I did not think it was an _option_." He interrupted my rambling, looking down at me with a little crease between his brows, gently grasping my elbow to stop me from pulling away, "I didn't see a point in... getting... _strung up._ "

I clamped my mouth shut and he lifted his free hand to smooth his thumb along my jaw.

"And... maybe it was not the wisest idea for us to fool around in the first place, because there will always be... feelings there. For me."

His eyes dropped down to my mouth with that contemplative little frown still on his face.

"Who's idea was it anyway? It was a terrible idea." I asked quietly as I knit my brow and relaxed into him a little, with one of his hands still cupping my jaw and the other moving from my elbow to my waist.

"Pretty sure it was your idea." He replied with a little glint of amusement in his eye.

"Not surprising." I muttered, still fidgeting with his violet tie.

"Is this _really_ what you want?" He asked, narrowing his eyes curiously at me. "An _actual relationship_? I do not want to mess things up this time, Katya..."

"Yeah, it is what I want." I nodded softly without even a moment of doubt or hesitation in me. Which admittedly is kind of a big deal, because I'm sort of known for my indecision. "I want to do this, for real. I won't let you mess it up this time." I added with a little smirk.

He pressed his lips together and nodded thoughtfully before furrowing his brow, "Well now, what am I going to tell all the other women I am sleeping with?"

I gave him a wry smile in return and looped my arms around his waist in a little squeeze, "You're trying to be funny, it's not working."

"I think it is." He smirked, looking quite pleased with himself. "Also, if you are asking me out, then I expect that you will be paying, yes?"

"Oh, I see how it is. You just want me for my money." I grinned up at him as he slid his arms around me too.

"Well, it is a perk." He murmured against my ear with a smile, "Among others."

I mean, I won't argue with him. It _is_ a perk. 

_**A/N- Ahh yes, we all love Uncle Mimi, don't we :)**_

 _ **A small note, I definitely stole the idea for Jubilee's non-rhyming raps from Jean Ralphio (if you don't know what I'm referring to, please feel free to look up Jean Ralphio raps on YouTube. You will not be disappointed), but I 100% wrote these raps myself. Because apparently I have an uncanny talent for writing comedic non-rhyming raps? It's definitely going on my resume, that's all I can say about that.  
**_

 _ **Also, I wanted to clarify that when I say I might not be updating as often, I definitely don't mean I'll stop updating. It just means that it'll take longer for me to get a chapter out. As of now, this isn't an issue, because I have 3 or 4 chapters in reserve, but my turnaround rate is slowing down as I'm finding it harder and harder to write these current chapters.**_

 _ **So please remember to review, because I need you guys to push me through the block! And now I have Salt-N-Pepa's** Push It **in my head... Puh-push it real good.**_


	15. Tea Party In Hell

The following does not reflect the views or opinions of Marvel or the author known as 'Kinetically Charmed'.

 **Entry number fifteen:**

I left Jean in charge of the bridal shower. In hindsight, this was probably not my greatest idea ever, but I was so busy planning everything else, and she so graciously offered to plan the shower that I jumped at the opportunity. The only thing she asked me to do in preparation was get the favours ready, and I figured my room was already littered with wedding favours, I didn't mind tossing in some shower favours in there too.

I should have known that the shower was going to be... questionable when she had me putting Jordan almonds into little lavender organza bags, but by then there was nothing I could have done anyway. I guess maybe I could have warned Rogue.

Hindsight is 20/20.

Rogue and I were instructed to "dress pretty", which was clearly more for Rogue than it was for me, but Jean would never flat out tell Rogue to clean it up, because she's far too kind for that. I offered to help Rogue find an outfit, but she declined and absolutely insisted that she could figure it out on her own, deciding on a pair of unripped jeans, her fancy TOMS, and a maroon top, because "it's the closest to pink that I have".

Whatever, I slapped some pearls on her and it was good enough, alright?

I didn't have many options, having only brought along two dresses, so I threw on the prettiest looking one which happened to be grey with white polka dots. I managed to talk Rogue out of tearing the pearl necklace off and then we made our way downstairs to the sitting room, where Jean had been setting up all morning.

We rounded the corner and both of us stopped in horror when we saw the garland of fresh flowers draped from the doorway, leading into the room which had been converted into some kind of... springtime tea party in the garden. Basically, Rogue's idea of hell.

Like, literal _hell_.

Jean's face lit up when she saw us, her hand smoothing over the floral dress draping elegantly around her 6 month baby bump, "Hey guys!" She greeted cheerfully, "What do you think?"

Rogue's eyes darted towards the wrought iron tables and chairs with the floral centerpieces and teacups and Jordan almonds, and I watched her face twist up into a pained smile.

"It's so... pretty." She said through her clenched teeth.

Jean seemed incredibly pleased with this, which really just proves that she definitely doesn't constantly listen into peoples thoughts, because there is no way Rogue wasn't mentally screaming at that moment. Or maybe the pregnancy is throwing her off.

Either way, she excitedly led us over to our seats as guests began to pile in. And I swear you guys, I didn't even know half of the people there. I don't even think _Rogue_ knew half the people there. I don't know how Jean talked these people into attending bridal shower for a complete stranger, but they were all dropping off gifts at the gift table, so who are we to complain, right?

The second the clock struck one, Jean began welcoming everyone and introducing the first party game, handing out cards with famous actors names on them for us to attach to our foreheads. We were then told to mingle and try and figure out who we were.

I mean, it was a good effort, but this game encompasses two things Rogue hates; mingling, and trying to remember actors names. Unless he's played Batman, she's not going to know his name. And even that's really pushing it.

Rogue rolled her eyes and taped the card to her forehead with a sigh, "Is there alcohol here?"

"No, but I think there's _tea_." I informed her with a smile as I pressed the card to my own forehead, "Tea is good, trust me."

Rogue snorted, "London has just brainwashed you into thinking that."

It's possible. Also, I put a crap load of sugar in my tea, so it could be that too.

"Hey." Tabby grinned, plunking down into the seat next to us with a wide grin and a card that said _Marlon Brando_ on her head. "What's happenin'?"

"Oh you know, just pretending to give a shit about this stupid game." Rogue grumbled as she tore open her bag of Jordan almonds.

Tabby's eyes glanced up to Rogue's forehead, and she smiled, "Oooh, you're _really_ sexy."

"Yeah, so are you." Rogue grumbled.

"What about me?!" I asked Tabby, trying super hard to curb my excitement. Because I love shower games. Like, I _love_ them.

"You are too." Tabby's grin widened with a nod and Rogue huffed,

"Tabby, you think that guy from those movies about that bachelor party is sexy." She looked over at me and shook her head, "You know, that weird guy. From that movie."

This is why she's terrible at this game, Jean.

Also, she was talking about The Hangover, and Zach Galifianakis.

Tabby snorted into her teacup and cut her eyes back to me, "Typical Canadian temper."

I knit my brow in confusion and glanced up at the name on Rogue's forehead, "I don't think he's Canadian, Tabby..."

"How was your trip on the Titanic?" Tabby asked, ignoring my comment before giving a little wince, "That was a little bit insensitive wasn't it. He died."

Rogue groaned, "I'm Mark Whalburg! I win!" She announced, before pulling the name off her head and slapping it down on the table, "Where are the f***ing cupcakes?"

For the record, she was not Mark Whalburg. She was Leonardo Dicaprio.

I pressed my lips into a frown and turned back to Tabby, "Streetcar Named Desire."

Her face twisted up in confusion, and I left her with my super vague clue as I followed Rogue towards the snack table, pulling the card off my own forehead.

If Rogue's not having fun, then I won't have fun too. Solidarity.

"Aww, Chris Pratt! I coulda guessed him..." I grumbled, coming to a stop next to Rogue with a frown.

"What the f*** are these!?" Rogue snapped at me, holding out a finger sandwich.

"I think cucumber...?" I said, inspecting the baby sandwich in her hand.

"Where the hell is all the good food? Crackers and cheese? Veggies and dip?! Stupid cucumber sandwiches!? What the f*** Kitty!"

I let out a sigh and discarded my actor card, "Look, I know this is not your cup of tea -pun _completely_ intended- but you can totally do this. I'm right here, suffering with you. Just grin and bear it for a few hours, and we'll get cupcakes, and you'll get to open presents." I glanced towards the gift table and nodded, "Most of which look like they're cards with money inside. You like money!"

Rogue pouted momentarily and rolled her eyes, "I do like money."

"Good." I glanced around the room at all the women mingling and socializing and nodded, "It looks like the first game is starting to wind down anyway, depending on how long it'll take Jubilee to guess that she's Nicholas Cage."

I tried my best to act as Rogue's buffer, keeping guests from mingling with Rogue too hard, even though I genuinely didn't know who 80% of these people were.

Eventually Jean called for everyone to return to our seats with that cheerful smile and a clap of her hands, expressing that she hoped everyone had the chance to get to know one another before introducing the second game.

She began handing out a stack of printed pages for the game entitled, " _How Well Do You Know The Bride And Groom_ ", which is really self explanatory, and then distributed some pens.

Rogue stifled a little groan as she looked over the questions, and cut her eyes to me even though I was looking positively giddy.

I mean, I had this one in the bag.

Or so I thought.

As it turns out, I don't know the bride and groom. Like, at all. Part of me wanted to blame my loss on Jean's info gathering skills, but it was pretty clear that this wasn't the case, since the winner ended up being Kurt.

How does Kurt know Remy and Rogue better than me?!

Also, why the hell was Kurt even there?!

"He's my bridesmaid, remember?" Rogue replied with a little amused grin when I voiced my outrage at losing out loud.

"This is just bullshit." I sneered at the page in front of me, "Since when is Remy's favourite ice cream _mint chocolate chip_?! _Nobody_ likes mint chocolate chip!"

Rogue rolled her eyes at my outrage as Jean presented Kurt with his prize for having won the stupid game, which was a stupid candle with a stupid ring inside.

I hope you enjoy your stupid candle, Kurt.

I might be a bit of a sore loser, but I was seriously annoyed.

"Would you relax?" Rogue leaned towards me and lowered her voice a notch, "You've been gone a while, it's _not_ a big deal."

"It _is_ a big deal." I protested with a frown, "I'm Henri!"

Rogue shot me a mildly confused look, "What?"

"I'm completely Henri! I don't even know my own brother! Kurt knows you both more than I do, _he_ should be your maid of honor!" I angrily flipped my hand towards Kurt who was sniffing his victory candle in complete oblivion to the turmoil he'd caused.

"You realize that you're not _actually_ Henri. You're not Remy's brother. You know that, right?" Rogue asked, and when I looked up at her with a scowl she held her palms up and shrugged, "Just making sure. Because you sound like a crazy person right now."

"I do not." I grumbled.

"Just relax, alright? So you don't know what Remy's favorite movie is anymore and you don't know... what my favorite thing to do on the weekend is. Who gives a shit? You didn't get all the questions wrong. You knew what colour his eyes are." She said, pointing at my answer with a nod, "See?"

I pressed my lips together and gave her a very unamused look.

"And you knew what the first thing Remy noticed about me."

"I took a stab in the dark, Rogue. It was either boobs or ass, he's not that complex." I rolled my eyes and Rogue gave me a smirk.

" _Please_ just let it go. You know we don't like you because you're able to tell what our favorite Netflix Original is. We like you because we can't seem to get rid of you, no matter how hard we try. And we decided to just stop fighting it."

I crossed my arms with a little pout and shrugged, " _Fine_." I shot Kurt one last little glare through the corner of my eye, "I wanted that candle."

"No you didn't."

No, I didn't.

Thankfully, Jean shifted gears and moved onto the presents. Rogue doesn't love being the centre of attention, but she does love presents, so this section was a little bittersweet for her.

The gifts were a mixed bag, so to speak. Nobody really knows what to get someone who lives in a fully stocked mansion... it's not as if they need dishware and crap. So clearly, the only other option is money, lingerie and sex toys.

I'm pretty sure Kurt was regretting showing up at this point, and the look on his face as she unwrapped the red lace panties from Tabby totally made up for the fact that he beat me at the game.

There were a few oddball gifts in the mix, of course. Alison got her a blender? I, of course, got her the giant box of condoms from Costco, along with Pete. Which she seemed incredibly happy about, by the way. And Storm got her a statue of an African fertility goddess, and I'm still not really sure if this was meant as a joke or not. You can never really know with Storm, she has a weird sense of humour. At any rate, Rogue pretended to be grateful for it with a completely insincere smile, holding it as if she was _sure_ she was going to catch the pregnancy cooties, before stuffing it into _my_ hands with a little shudder.

Yeah, I'm definitely gunna say that Storm got it as a joke.

She can be pretty funny, when she wants to be.

Once the gifts were all unwrapped and we were all forced to design a wedding dress out of toilet paper, the shower began to wind down. Which is to say that people were reaching the point where they visibly wanted to leave. However, we were all forced to sit there for Lord knows how long, silently eating bland finger foods while Jean reminisced about her wedding day. Even though it wasn't anything incredible and the majority of us were _there_. Save for the group of strangers that I don't know and Alison, every single one of us was there for your magical shotgun wedding.

None of us had the balls to tell Jean to shut up thought, because she's so goddamn nice. It's like kicking a kitten. And it's even worse now, because she's all pregnant. She's a _pregnant_ kitten.

"Do you think anyone would notice if we left?" Rogue whispered to me as Jean began pulling up pictures from Facebook to show off her wedding gown, and I was seriously tempted to say no, but this _was_ Rogue's shower, and chances are people would notice if the guest of honour suddenly disappeared. So we toughed it out, and eventually, after about 30 minutes of reliving Jean's magical day, it was _finally_ over.

We'd survived.

Miraculously.

After the shower, Kurt and I helped Rogue bring her gifts up to her room, which was not exactly something Kurt entirely enjoyed. Carrying a gift bag full of sex toys to your sisters bedroom didn't rank high on his "list of things to do today" for some reason.

Maybe if you would have given me that candle you won, I would have let you off the hook, Kurt. Lesson learned.

We dumped the bags onto Rogue's bed and I sifted through some of the red lace lingerie Tabby had gifted her, plucking out a pair of barely there panties with a grimace, "Are these crotchless?!"

"Eughh! Come on!" Kurt cried out, slapping a hand over his eyes, "I don't want to see that!"

Rogue laughed at his overly dramatic reaction, "Relax, Kurt. They're just underwear."

" _Sex_ underwear." He hissed the word out in a whisper, turning his attention back to the stack of cards filled with money and gift cards to begin sorting, "It's bad enough you two have no shame when it comes to that... I don't need to see your _props_."

"Hey, it's next to impossible to get a lick of privacy around here, we get it where we can." Rogue replied, tossing a pair of purple fuzzy handcuffs onto the bed, which again caused Kurt to wince and look away.

"Why don't you just ask Professor Xavier to build you a house, like he did for Scott and Jean?" I asked with a little grin, "Why should they get all the privacy?"

Kurt nodded with a little scoff, "If anyone around here needs the privacy, it's Rogue and Gambit. They're so _loud_."

"The walls are thin!" Rogue protested, "I can't help that!"

"Does it bother you? The thought of being a newlywed without your own space?" I asked as I pulled out some weird... garter belt contraption thing... I don't even really know what it was, but I tried really hard to fold it.

"Nah, not really. I mean, the privacy would be nice, but I hate cleaning. I'd never be able to keep a house clean. And Remy likes to keep his skills sharp, he steals conditioner from the girls dorm rooms. That would be a lot harder to do in our own place."

I looked up and my mouth dropped open, "That's where my conditioner went! What an _ass_!"

"Mmhmm. That's part of the reason he hated Jenny, she was just givin' away that Papaya stuff and it made his head itch." Rogue nodded, taking the garter belt away from me, clearly having grown tired of watching me attempt to fold the thing, and tossed it aside.

"Maybe I should see if the Professor would build me a place." The corner of my mouth tugged up playfully, "You know, if I decide to move back. I've grown accustomed to privacy."

Rogue gave me a sly grin, "I bet Pete wouldn't mind that at all."

"Ugh, can we not have girl talk right now?" Kurt whined, which was completely ignored by Rogue.

"The two of you could have your own little love nest, paid for by the Professor."

Kurt snorted, "Yeah, I'm sure he'd totally go for that." He mumbled, pointedly turning his back to us.

"It'd spare us all from watching the two of them starin' all goo-goo eyed at one another. He could write that off as a business expense." Rogue commented, before glancing over to me with the corner of her mouth tugged up into a half grin.

"We do not stare goo-goo eyed at one another." I rolled my eyes.

"You do too, you don't even know it. You totally re-love him, I can tell." Rogue said confidently, and I stopped folding her negligee long enough to frown at her.

"We're not exactly using the L word yet."

"I don't care if you're not usin' it yet, doesn't change the truth." Rogue shrugged.

"We're taking our time. Baby steps, you know?" I insisted, going back to the folding, "I'm glad too, because it really seems to help curb the gossip."

"Sure, sleep with the guy for five weeks and _then_ slow things down. That makes sense." Kurt muttered, still with his back to us.

"Ignore him, he's just pissy cause he's the only one in the wedding party without a date now." Rogue said with a flip of her hand, "I keep tellin' you Kurt, if you want to keep a girl, stop actin' all clingy and desperate."

"I'm not clingy and desperate!" He protested, turning back to glare at us with a frown.

Rogue rolled her eyes back to me, "Anyway, I'm surprised nobody's caught onto you two lovebirds yet, Jubilee's off her game."

"It's the rap. She's super focused on that rap." Kurt said over his shoulder, which only caused Rogue to sneer in disgust before giving her head a shake.

"I don't even think _Remy's_ figured it out yet."

Kurt rolled his eyes dramatically back to us, "Probably because Remy doesn't _care_."

This, of course, was the moment that Remy decided to breeze into the open doorway, leaning on the doorjamb with a curious grin, "Remy doesn't care about what?" The question was suddenly forgotten when his eyes took in the loot sprawled out on the bedspread, and widened in excitement, "Are those satin bed sheets?!"

He crossed the room and nudged me out of the way like a kid on Christmas. A very disturbed kid, who was super excited about lingerie, on Christmas.

"Oooh! Condoms!" He lit up as he inspected the massive box of condoms.

"Those are from me and Pete." I smiled proudly, and he gave me a proud little nod.

"These should last us a few months!"

Kurt dropped the stack of cards with a deep frown, "Alright, I'm done."

"Oh relax!" Rogue called out as Kurt muttered his way out of the room, "He was _joking_!"

I'm pretty sure he was only partially joking.

"Nice haul." Remy nodded in approval as he looked over everything on the bed before finally turning to Rogue and taking in her apparel, "Are those pearls...?"

"Don't judge me. Jean had tea and finger sandwiches." Rogue snapped, her hand flying up to the pearl necklace around her neck, "I had to look _pretty_."

"This is why men don't do _bridal showers_." He stuffed his hands into his pockets and grinned, "We're smart. We get _bachelor_ parties. No tea and finger sandwiches, just boobs, beer and poker." He gave his eyes a little roll and the smile slipped off his face, "I guess unless Pete lets Henri take over the bachelor party, then we'll have to do something lame, like... Zumba. Or go to another one of those _juice bars_. They don't even serve alcohol there."

I feigned shock and gasped, " _No_!"

"I want a bachleor party." Rogue whined, fingering her pearls with a frown. "I would do Zumba."

No you wouldn't, Rogue. However, I would pay good money to watch Remy try to do Zumba. Henri, if you're reading this, please make it happen.

* * *

 _ **A/N- A short but sweet chapter...? I don't know how sweet it was, but I know it's shorter than you're used to. So I apologize for the filler. But sometimes these things are a necessary evil. Also, we got the mental image of Gambit trying to do Zumba, so there's that.**_

 _ **I loved reading your reviews so much, and I'm going to address a few of them to make up for the short chapter.**_

 _ **Sunrise Lily- I've toyed with the idea of bringing Belladonna into this world more than once, but I came to the conclusion that it's just so overdone. It's such an obvious plot "twist" that I couldn't make myself use it. But I mean, yeah... could you imagine if she DID show up? Right? lol  
**_

 _ **tradingtruthforlies- I feel like Kitty has grown up with ME too! I can't believe I've been doing this crap for so long... man I need some new hobbies. Also, thank you for the mallet. It didn't work, but thanks none-the-less. I'm hoping it will work soon.**_

 _ **Changtastic- No loyalty points lost, don't sweat it. I adore that you got such a kick out of the Jean Ralphio raps, and I also adore that you noticed post-Darth-well-adjusted-Pete. I've been trying to find a balance.**_

 _ **Kali- I am so touched that I beat out a mini pie. That's one of the best compliments I've ever received. Not even being sarcastic, yo.**_

 _ **I love that everyone recognized the difference between mature grownup Kitty, I thought for sure this was one of those subtle things that I would drop in for my own benefit, not expecting people to really catch it at all! We can definitely expect to see more of mature Kitty!**_

 _ **And of course, yay that Kiotr is back together! Right?!**_


	16. Snowstorm

The following does not reflect the views or opinions of Marvel or the author known as 'Kinetically Charmed'.

 **Entry number sixteen:**

We're down to the wire now.

One week to go.

And Rogue is a ball of stress.

We were hit by a massive snow storm, which knocked out the power and left us completely snowed in, and somehow Rogue took this to be a bad omen for the wedding. I really have no idea how she connected those dots, and to be honest, I'm too afraid to ask.

Xavier decided it would be an insurance nightmare to have a bunch of super powered teenagers running around in the dark, so the students were all split into groups and being watched over to make sure no one knocks over a priceless Ming vase. Or you know, injures themselves or whatever.

Rogue and I had been tasked with supervising the 16 year old age group, and she'd been pacing up and down the front foyer for twenty minutes, grumbling to herself about emergency travel plans with our group of teens hanging out on the staircase, watching Miss Rogue lose her mind, when Miss Munroe came to a stop in the doorway and took in the sight before her.

"Ray should have the power up and running again in no time." She informed us, still eyeing Rogue curiously, "Maybe you all could play a game-"

"Why didn't you stop this?!" Rogue interrupted harshly, her glare snapping over to Storm with a frown, "This whole mess coulda been avoided!"

Storm folded her arms over her chest and fixed Rogue with a patient, knowing look. "You _know_ I don't like to interfere with the course of nature, Rogue. The weather is not something that can be fixed-"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever." Rogue flipped a hand at Storm and resumed her pacing, "What good are you, anyway."

Storm quirked an eyebrow and I smiled apologetically,

"One more week."

She narrowed her eyes at Rogue and muttered under her breath, "If she's still alive." as she turned and left the foyer.

"Ugggh, Miss Pryde, this is so boring." One of the 16 year old girls groaned, "Isn't there something we could _do_?"

I shrugged, "Storm said something about a game-"

I wasn't able to finish this thought, because all 9 of them started bitching and moaning in unison.

Rogue stopped suddenly and her eyes grew wide, as a new revelation dawned on her. "What if the roof of the chapel has collapsed under the weight of all the snow?! Where am I gunna get married if the chapel doesn't have a roof, Kitty?!"

"That... is a very weirdly specific thing to be worried about." I knit my brow and shook my head, turning back to the group of teens and smiled cheerfully, "Why don't we find something to distract Miss Rogue from driving me insane, before I phase her face into a wall?"

"Like what?" One of the mouth breathing boys asked.

I'm sorry, I don't have time to learn everyone's name, you guys. I'm a busy girl.

"We can... help find Miss Rogue her _something old_ for the wedding. We can look in the attic, there's old stuff in the attic." I said with a resolute nod.

Shockingly, the group of teenagers were not thrilled by my suggestion, but frankly I couldn't have cared less. Suck it up you guys. We're all in this together.

Rogue and I led the way up to the cold, musty attic, realizing once we got there that this was genuinely a terrible idea. There were windows up there, so it wasn't _dark_ exactly, but it was colder than a hair on a polar bear's ass.

Which is exactly what Rogue said when we pushed through the door at the top of the narrow stair case leading up there.

The kids all snickered at Miss Rogue's comparison as they shivered and hugged themselves in an attempt to stay warm, and I glanced around the cluttered space with the light on my phone, "It's not _that_ cold. At least you're warmer than Remy right now."

The reminder that Remy was outside freezing his ass off as he, Logan and Pete all worked to clear snow, seemed to placate her a little bit. At least Logan and Pete are used to the cold, it's in their veins. They're probably out there having a hockey party or something, Canada vs Russia. Poor Gambit.

I forced a smile for the benefit of the children and pulled my hands inside my sweater, stifling the urge to shiver.

"This'll be fun! It'll be like an adventure. Nancy Drew or... something..." I trailed off when I realized that _I_ didn't even believe myself, and the mouth breathing boy twisted his face up in confusion.

"Who's Nancy Drew? Does she go here?"

Rogue and I exchanged a silent look before mutually deciding to ignore his question.

I mean really, kid. We have a library. There's no excuse.

"Alright, let's just find some boxes and get started." I instructed, "Oh and don't _break_ anything."

Rogue rolled her eyes and plucked a box off of the nearest stack, dropping it down on the floor with very little care for being gentle. "It's all old shit up here anyway. It ain't like the Professor's gunna be walkin' up the stairs anytime soon to check things out..."

"I cannot believe you just said that." I shook my head at her with a disapproving frown as I pulled the box open and began sifting through its contents.

"Well it's true." She defended mildly, "Even if he _could_ , he wouldn't." She pulled out a bundle of old, slightly broken Christmas lights from the 70's to make her point.

"We found clothes!" One of the girls announced excitedly from somewhere near the front of the attic, which excited the rest of the students who were still shivering in their boots.

What began as a way for us to layer up in Xavier's old sports jackets and winter coats, quickly spiraled out of control once we all realized that he literally had _dozens_ of boxes of clothes stored. As if he were hanging onto everything, in the off chance that he might be able to use them again. Who knows, platform shoes could totally come back, Professor. I definitely tried to convince Rogue to wear them as her something old and something borrowed, but she wasn't cool with it.

Once the girls found the bell bottom jeans, that was it. We'd lost them.

The boys were less than amused with the dress-up party, because they thought they were too cool to try on 40 year old vests and hats, so the 4 of them ventured off on their own to continue the search. I was in the middle of attempting to convince Rogue to try on a fringed suede vest from the Professor's psychedelic days, when one of the boys excitedly called us all over.

We found him huddled over something with an excited grin on his face, his back straightening up when he saw the group all shuffling towards him over the attic floorboards, and he lifted the item in his hand triumphantly for us all to see.

"I found a treasure map!"

"What?!" One of the other boys knit his brow and tried to snatch the thing out of his hands, but treasure map kid wasn't having it.

"A treasure map? What are you even talking about, Kevin?" The blonde girl, who's name I'd learned to be Sabrina, pulled her mirrored sunglasses off to fix Kevin with a frown.

"It's a freakin' _treasure map_. Like the Goonies!" Kevin "explained", thrusting the map towards Miss Rogue, who slipped the map from his hand, a frown creasing her brow.

"This is _Boston_."

"What?"

"It's a map of Boston, Kevin. It's not a treasure map." Rogue rolled her eyes and handed the map back to him.

One of the other boys snorted and laughed, "What an idiot."

"Um, it's clearly a treasure map. Look at it!" Kevin insisted, even though we were looking at it, and it was just a regular, fold up map, like the ones you can get at any gas station in America. It didn't even look antique.

Another one of the girls gave her eyes a super dramatic eye roll and flipped her brown hair over her shoulder, "You're such a dork."

"Hey, there's no need for name calling." I admonished, even though I didn't exactly disagree with Suzie-Brown-Hair. "It was a... simple mistake. Could have happened to anyone."

Rogue snorted at my blatant lie, but didn't say anything, and Kevin frowned silently as he stuffed the map of Boston into his shirt.

Just in case.

"Check out these mattresses." A boy with ginger hair turned the light on his phone over to a stack of mattresses piled up along the wall, "We could lay them all out and have a wrestling match!"

Rogue grimaced, "Yeah, I wouldn't touch those... they're up here for a reason."

Jamie used to wet the bed.

"If they were _dirty_ , wouldn't the Professor throw them out?" Blonde Sabrina asked as she moved to stand next to Ron Weasley.

"Look at this one, it's covered." Mouth-breather said, flopping down on a lone mattress set up on the attic floor before smoothing his hand along the surface thoughtfully, "It's soft."

"It's bear skin." Kevin pointed out the bear head on the end of the mattress and the girls all squealed in horror.

"Oh calm your tits." Rogue barked in an attempt to reign them in, "It's just an old bear skin rug. It probably ain't even real."

"Who would put a bear skin rug over top of a mattress? And new... pillows? Are those _pillows_?" I frowned, moving towards the mattress to better inspect the area along with the light on my cellphone. Space heater, covered up mattress, pillows, old radio plugged in on top of a milk crate, little golden foil package on the floor... and then it all clicked.

"Get off the mattress! Nobody touch the mattress!" I snapped like a crazy person, jumping back from the mattress with my arms out, and Rogue's brow creased in confusion at my over-reaction. I handed her the golden foil package which I was carefully pinching by the very corner, and she finally clued in.

"Oh sweet cheese on a cracker." She breathed, her wide eyes on the condom wrapper in her hand as she caught up to me, "It's a sex den."

"Ewww!" Suzie-Brown-Hair squawked and leapt away from the mattress as if we'd just announced it was made out of spiders, and shoved another girl in front of her as a human shield.

The boys were all giggling amongst themselves, each one of them claiming that it was totally their sex den, as if any one of us would have believed that for a second.

"Who would wanna... _do it_ on a bearskin rug?" Sabrina asked, nudging the mattress with her toe and a little grimace on her face.

Rogue's nose scrunched up as her eyes fell back on the condom wrapper she'd dropped to the ground the second she'd realized what it was, and she cocked her head a little to read the label.

"That's the brand that they sell at that weird hardware store." She said, crouching down to get a better look at it, without actually touching it again. "You know, the one that Logan gets his steaks and-"

This set the boys off again as they all realized that this was Mr. Logan's sex den.

Rogue stood up again and the two of us exchanged a silent, mutually horrified look.

"Mr. Logan likes to do it on bear fur!" Ron Weasely cackled, which got the girls giggling too.

"Who is he _bringing_ up here?!" One of the girls asked and Suzie-Brown-Hair scoffed,

"He's obviously bringing Miss. Munroe up here. It has to be someone who _lives_ here, she's not super bothered by the cold, and she can easily sneak up by flying up through one of those windows-"

"Alright, that's enough o'that damn bullshit gossip." Rogue snapped, "Don't go draggin' poor Storm's name through the mud."

"We should check the mattress for long white hairs." Kevin suggested, and another boy stuck his tongue out in a disgusted grimace,

"No way bro, what if we find the _other_ kind of hairs?!"

The chorus of _ew's_ was cut short when the power whirred back to life and the bare light bulb hanging from the ceiling that I flicked on when we'd come upstairs lit up.

"Okay, why don't we... get out of here now." I suggested above the sound of the kids all voicing their relief that the power was back, "And maybe we should... you know, forget about what we saw up here. For all we know someone is just coming up here for some alone time."

"That's even _worse_ , Kitty." Rogue sneered.

I sighed and rubbed a hand over my face, "Let's try to respect Mr. Logan's privacy, alright? Keep this between us."

The kids all mumbled some unintelligible response as they turned to leave the attic, giggling and whispering among themselves as they went, and Rogue turned to me with a little half grin,

"You do know they've probably already posted it on Instagram or some shit."

"Of course." I nodded and rolled my eyes, "I'm just tryin' to cover my own ass for when Logan finds out."

Rogue shrugged, reaching up to flick the light out as we made our way to the stairs, "You'll be back in England by then, _I'm_ the one who's gunna get it."

The kids took off on their own the second we left the attic staircase, excited by their freedom from us, and probably by the new juicy gossip, leaving Rogue and myself to our own devices.

And it was then, after all the kids were gone out of earshot, that Rogue lost her crap.

"Holy _hell_ , why does Logan have a sex den in the attic, Kitty?! _**WHY**_?!"

"Oh- I..." I stammered, being completely caught off guard by sudden horror, "Probably for the sex, I suppose."

" _No_!" She slapped her hands over her ears and squeezed her eyes shut, "No God, don't say that! Oh my God, it's awful, no, he doesn't do that! Stop it!"

"Would you calm down?" I hissed, trying desperately not to laugh at her, while simultaneously making sure nobody was able to hear her panic attack. "Seriously, what is your problem? I mean, yeah it's gross, and I would rather not know about the sex den too, but c'mon."

"It's... _inappropriate_!"

I blinked at her for a moment before arching a brow and cocking my head, "You think it's inappropriate? The girl who almost got caught doing it in the elevator because, and I quote, nobody uses it anyway."

"That's different-"

"The _professor_ uses the elevator Rogue."

"This is different." Rogue insisted, ignoring my point, which was incredibly valid, "This is Logan. He's just some sort of asexual... creature."

I made a face and scoffed, "You never had any problem joking about his sex desk."

"That was just a _joke_. He never had sex on the desk, t hat was just something we teased him about. This is _real life_. It's _happening_. Gross, hairy, fiscally conservatively protected fornication. In our house. Where we _eat_." She shuddered with a grimace, "And those condoms cost like, a nickel each. They can't be that effective. There could be Logan sperm _everywhere_."

" _ **Ew**_!" I shouted in disgust, "No! Stop it!"

"Those little swimmers are probably super hearty, with his mutation. Maybe they never die either." Rogue pointed out, which prompted me to groan and shake my head.

"Oh my gosh, you have to stop!" I grimaced and paused on the staircase to turn and look at her "Can we stop talking about it?! _Please_?!"

" _Sorry_." She rolled her eyes, not looking even remotely sorry, "I'm just in shock, alright? This whole thing is just grossin' me out, you know? And what the hell is with the bearskin rug? Who are you, Burt Reynolds?"

We were halfway down the main stairs when Remy, Pete and Logan pushed in through the front door, bringing a chilly burst of air in behind them.

"Ray fixed the power." I announced, before Rogue had the chance to be awkward in front of Logan and alert him to our attic discoveries.

"Thank _God_." Remy sighed with a shiver, puffing a breath of hot air into his cupped hands, "It's cold enough to freeze the balls off a pool table, out there."

I bit my lips together in a suppressed smile, because we all know how much I love the Southern colloquialisms.

Logan snorted and shucked his leather jacket, "It's refreshing, ain't that right Tin Man?"

"Like a warm spring day." Pete agreed with a grin, his cheeks and nose all rosy red as he dusted his shoulders off to brush the snowflakes from his coat.

"You ass holes can do it all yourselves next time." Remy replied with a smirk and no bite in his tone. Zen Remy doesn't care about the cold. The cold doesn't bother him anyway. He's Elsa.

"Ahhh the hard work is good for ya. Builds character." Logan replied with a flip of his hand, hanging his coat up along with Pete and Remy's before announcing, "I'm goin' to have a beer."

"I need somethin' warmer. Like bourbon." Remy commented with a little shiver, "Warm bourbon."

I grimaced at the thought of that, because even though he was joking, ew. That would be like drinking literal gasoline. Or warm piss.

" _Warm bourbon_?" Rogue giggled -yes, she totally giggled- as she slipped her arms around his waist and tipped her chin up to grin at him. He shrugged, wrapping his arms around her in a loose hug with a little smirk on his lips.

"Unless you can think of a _better_ way to warm up..."

"Alright, take it to the attic, you two." I interrupted with a wry little grin. I mean, I was super pleased with myself, but judging from the look on Rogue's face, my joke hadn't gone over so well.

At least Logan had already left, otherwise I would have had some 'splaining to do.

She gave me one last scowl before she and Gambit made their way up the stairs, and Piotr turned to knit his brow at me.

"Attic?"

I looked up at him, grinning when I noticed the snowflakes still melting in his hair and reached up to brush them away, "You don't even want to know, trust me."

He quirked a brow, his interest obviously piqued but nodded nevertheless, smiling back at me as I trailed my fingers down the buttons of his shirt.

"I could use some warming up too, you know."

"Is that so?" He hummed back, resting his hands on my hips, "I would not mind helping you with that."

"Yeah?" I bit my lip and coyly gazed up at him from beneath my lashes.

He hummed again and leaned down, his lips brushing my ear, "I make the _best_ hot chocolate..."

"Ooh, baby, I love when you talk dirty."

He pulled back just enough to fix me with that eye twinkling grin of his, "With some mini marshmallows."

"Oh yeah." I purred.

"And some nutmeg."

"Nutmeg, kinky."

"Sometimes some sprinkles..."

"Okay, so just so we're clear, you really are gunna make hot chocolate, right?" I pulled away enough to look up at him and knit my brow. "Because I really want some hot chocolate."

"Of course, I do not _joke_ about hot chocolate, Katya." He scoffed, as if I would ever insinuate such a thing, and I slipped my hand into his with a smile.

"A man after my own heart."

"Always." He laughed before leading the way to the kitchen.

We expected to find it packed with restless, bored students meandering around or standing uselessly in front of the fridge, but what we stumbled upon was a whole different level of obnoxious.

The kitchen was a ghost town, except for one person, rifling through the cupboards as she muttered to herself angrily in her mother tongue.

"Illyana?" Piotr sighed with a frown, "What are you _doing_?"

"Where is the cappuccino machine?!" She snapped without bothering to stop her rummaging. "I have looked everywhere, and I cannot find it."

"That would be because we do not have one." Piotr replied, which finally gained her full attention. She whipped her head around so fast that she shook a few strands of hair free from her fancy chignon, and balked at him with wide eyes.

"You _still_ do not have one?" She rolled her eyes up to the ceiling and rattled off something in Russian about being oppressed, "The Professor _promised_ he would get one."

"He said he would think about it." Piotr corrected with a little irritated twitch of his jaw, "I am sure you can manage without."

"Also, I doubt the Professor would buy a $3000 fancy drink machine for someone who doesn't even live here. Just goin' out on a limb with that one." I added, because I'm a smart ass and I couldn't resist.

She finally glanced in my direction, and then did a quick double take, "Oh. It is you. I barely recognized you, you look so..." She pressed her lips together into something of a grimace and waved a hand in my direction, "... old."

"Illyana." Piotr warned with just the hint of an edge.

"What! I am not being mean, I did not mean old in a bad way." She defended, as if anyone believes that, before turning back to me, "It was just an observation."

I gave her a thin smile and said, "Astute as always."

"The new machine at my place in Paris is fabulous. Dan insisted that I upgrade and he was right, it makes _such_ a difference." She... bragged? I don't even know.

"Dan?" My face twisted in confusion, "Is that the banker guys name, I thought it was something more exotic..."

"Oh you are thinking of Francesco. That is ancient history." She flipped her hand and gave a little sniff, "He went back to his wife months ago. I am with Dan now, he is a _Yoga_ instructor."

"He teaches 'Mat Class' at the Y." Piotr clarified with a derisive little look, which Illyana ignored.

"He is incredibly enlightened and spiritual." She continued with a little sigh as she sat down on one of the bar stools at the counter, "And I know what you are thinking. Yes, the Yoga skills do translate into the bedroom."

"Nobody was thinking that." Piotr said with a minuscule sneer of disgust.

"She was thinking it, I could tell." Illyana smirked at me.

I was actually just trying to remember the lyrics to YMCA. It's actually a lot harder than you think.

"What are you even doing here, I thought you were working up until the wedding." Piotr took the chance to change the subject, "You were supposed to get in the day before and-"

"Have you _seen_ outside?" Illyana interrupted flicking a hand towards the window, "Everything is grounded. My flight out to Paris for my next leg has been cancelled and it messed up my whole schedule, so I decided to use some vacation days and come early." She shrugged and drummed her fingers on the counter top, "I teleported here, it was no problem."

"Great." Pete nodded, even though his tone indicated that it was definitely not _great_.

"Oh, I almost forgot." She slid off the stool and moved across the kitchen to the wheeling suitcase she'd teleported along with her, and zipped open the front pouch, "I brought you some chocolate from Belgium."

He eyed the box of chocolate carefully glancing down at me quickly before taking the gift with a slightly suspicious "Thank you."

"Anything for my favorite big brother." She smiled just a little bit too innocently and Piotr let out a deep breath.

"What do you want?"

"I need to borrow your credit card." She answered, really without even attempting to ease her way into the subject. Piotr set the box of chocolates down on the counter next to him with a frown. "I was not able to pack for my trip here because of the storm, so all I have in my suitcase is a spare uniform and a change of clothes. I was not prepared at all, and I have nothing to wear to the wedding."

"And you have no money of your own." Piotr asked with narrowed eyes.

"Paris rent is expensive!" She replied defensively.

He crossed his arms and did not look like he was buying that excuse at all, his eyes moving down to the very expensive and new Louboutin's she was sporting.

"I am sure it is not the _rent_ that is the problem."

"These are an investment, Piotr." She explained with an offended little scowl, "The people who fly first class expect a certain level of... class."

"I am not buying you new clothes, Illyana." Pete said firmly, "Why don't you ask _Dan_."

"I do not need a man to buy me clothes." Illyana replied, growing even more offended.

"That's _right_ ," I interjected with a nod of solidarity, "You ask your brother to, like any strong independent woman. You go, Beyonce."

She shot me a little scowl but kept her mouth shut, likely because she knew that I was right. Seriously, Illyana, learn to budget a little bit.

"I am not made out of money, Illyana." Pete informed her sternly. Seriously, nice dad line, Piotr. She opened her mouth to argue her case a bit more, but he lifted a hand dismissively and said, "I am sure Alison would not mind letting you borrow something."

Apparently this was entirely the wrong thing to say because Illyana rolled her eyes so hard that I'm surprised she didn't injure herself. She crossed her arms like the petulant adolescent she apparently always will be and huffed, "I _hate_ that girl."

"I don't care." Piotr smiled thinly, "She has lots of clothes, and you are around her size. So that is that."

Illyana fixed her big blue doe eyes on her brother and batted her lashes pathetically, "Please Piotr..." She began, clasping her hands in front of her as she pouted something in Russian, which caused Pete to heave a deep sigh and give in. He pulled his wallet out of his back pocket and squared his jaw as he fished his credit card out.

"Keep it _reasonable_ , at least." He instructed as he handed it over, "Nothing designer, do you understand?"

Illyana took her brothers credit card with a wide smile as she gushed out her thanks with a hug.

"If you can't find anything at Old Navy, I might have something that you could borrow for the wedding." I suggested with a grin, as I peeled the lid off of the Belgian chocolates for a better look, and Illyana snorted loudly.

"You are kidding, right? You are built like a _Smurf_."

"Watch it." Piotr warned with a scowl, before I had the chance to point out that Smurfs are also Belgian. Irony.

"And our frames are much different, you are far _wider_."

"Enough, Illyana." Pete snapped.

"Why are _you_ being all salty, she knows she is short, it is not-" She stopped talking abruptly and sighed, "You are sleeping with her again, aren't you?"

I'll admit, I was impressed. She used an English slang term properly _and_ she figured out Pete and I were back together, all in one sentence.

"Give the girl a prize!" I quipped around a mouthful of chocolate truffle, and Illyana turned to grimace at me.

"At least she is better than _Jenny_." She admitted with a frown before leaning towards me and adding, "I did not like Jenny, at all. She was _Canadian_."

"You don't like anybody." I pointed out as I went back for another truffle, "And _Logan_ is Canadian."

"Yes but she was... worse." Illyana explained with a sour look.

"Speaking of things you don't like, you missed Rogue's wedding shower." I smiled, popping another truffle into my mouth, "Actually, on second thought, you probably would have loved it. It was terrible. Jean planned it and Rogue was miserable."

The corner of Illyana's mouth tugged up and she nodded, taking one of the Belgian chocolates for herself, "That sounds fantastic. Did you take pictures?"

"Of course." I scoffed, pulling my phone out of my pocket to show Illyana said pictures, "Although I do feel bad for Rogue. She's been super stressed and this princess tea party shower Jean put together was just so un-Rogue... she really needed a win."

"She needs a male stripper." Illyana corrected, and Piotr frowned.

"Please stop now."

Illyana did not stop. "She _does_. Have you seen Magic Mike 14?"

"Oh my gosh, that's it!" An idea lit up my brain, "I could throw her a surprise bachelorette party! Oh my God, it's perfect! She was totally just complaining that she didn't get to have a bachelor party, she would love this! Where's my phone, I need to call Doug. He owes me a favour."

"I don't want to know how Doug will be involved." Piotr stated with a shake of his head as I pulled my phone away from Illyana.

"The only problem is that it would have to be the same night as Remy's bachelor party." I mused out loud as I pulled up my calendar, "Which is two days before the wedding... Oh! But that would mean that Mercy could come along too! Ooo it's so perfect! I can't believe I'm just thinking of this now!"

I was gone. I was in my own little planning bubble, and I'd dragged Illyana with me for the ride. I didn't quite notice when exactly Piotr left, but I think it was before I called Doug, because he definitely wasn't around when Illyana was telling me all about the male stripper she dated for a month.

He was Romanian.

Eventually, I did get the hot chocolate made, and brought one to Piotr whom I found in the library, likely doing his best to avoid things like Illyana, and responsibilities.

Not that I blame him.

It's not his fault that everyone seems to forget that there is a perfectly good fireplace in the library. The books ruin it for them, I guess.

"Hey." I smiled as I spotted him relaxing in the plush armchair directly in front of the fireplace with a book on his lap. I made my way over to him and handed him one of the mugs, "I didn't forget."

The corner of his mouth turned upwards as he took the mug and glanced up at me, "You forgot the sprinkles."

"I didn't think you were serious about the sprinkles. You're not a sprinkle guy, Pete." I laughed back, settling down on the armrest of the chair. His free arm wound it's way around my waist as he took a sip.

"I am very surprising."

I snorted at that and gave my eyes a roll as I took a tentative sip of the hot beverage.

"So, did you and my little sister have a good time discussing men removing their clothes for money?" He asked casually.

"Yes, actually. We did." I nodded, sending him a little smile over my mug, "She summarized the plot of the latest Magic Mike movie. It took about 30 seconds."

There isn't much plot.

Piotr laughed at that and pulled me down onto his lap, without spilling either one of our drinks. It was impressive.

"You're cool with the whole... thing. Right?" I asked, taking another sip of hot chocolate, and Piotr raised an inquisitive eyebrow at me. "The... _male entertainment_. You know, you're not like, mad that we're- that I'm... we don't have to-"

"Are you asking my permission to see a stripper, Katya?" His eyes twinkled with mirth when he caught up to my train of thought.

"I'm not asking _permission_." I rolled my eyes, "We're dating now and I want to... I don't know... respect you or whatever. I don't want to start this relationship off on a bad note."

He stared at me for a moment, his eyes boring into mine with a warm sort of fondness, before he finally gave his head a shake and smiled, "No, I do not mind."

"Good, because Rogue is going to love this surprise." I smirked, "Let's just say, Doug knows a guy and he pulled some strings."

"Rogue hates surprises." Piotr reminded me with a chuckle as he rubbed my arm.

"This one she won't." I replied confidently, "No awkward social obligations, just going out, having a few drinks and relaxing. She needs that."

Piotr hummed in agreement before taking another drink of his hot chocolate, and then we fell into an easy relaxed silence.

And right in that moment, snuggled down against Pete with his free hand drawing lazy circles on my arm, as we listened to the crackle of the fire and watched the blizzard outside the frosted window, I felt _home_.

I had no doubt in my mind that I would be 100% happy giving up anything waiting for me in England, because I had _this_ waiting for me here.

And in that moment, _this_ felt like all I would ever need.

It was sort of like, the calm before the storm.


	17. Wendy's Big Night Out

**_A/N-Thank you all for reading, and continuing to review for some reason, week after week. I love your love.  
_**

 ** _I was actually going to postpone posting this puppy until next week because I'm running behind on my chapter writing, but I finally decided that I simply couldn't withhold it from you. I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it, and please remember to review so that I can bask in your enjoyment.  
_**

* * *

The following does not reflect the views or opinions of Marvel or the author known as 'Kinetically Charmed'.

 **Entry number seventeen:**

The past few days have been an absolute whirlwind of activity, so I was extra thankful that this bachelorette party idea of mine involved basically zero planning.

I didn't need to prepare party favours, or get balloons and decorations, or cups and ice, or phallic shaped snack foods... it was fantastic. I don't know why I haven't been planning parties this way all along, but now I know. Less is more.

In this case, all I had to do was call Doug and metaphorically bat my eyelashes, and bam; party. I mean, that's not all I did. I also enlisted Jean's help to assist with getting Rogue to the venue, and we taped some used pregnancy tests to the fertility goddesses hands as sort of our bachelorette party mascot, and I _..._ might have also made her a little bikini out of pink tissue paper, but aside from that, zero planning.

Things did not entirely go off without a hitch of course, because Rogue still completely hates surprises. So when we strolled up to the all male revue in Manhattan after depositing Jean's red minivan at the nearest car park for an astronomical fee, and saw Mercy, Storm, Jubilee, Tabby, Alison and Illyana all waiting outside with their little pink feather boas on, waving excitedly when they saw us, Rogue's first reaction was,

"Oh hell no."

"Just relax, Rogue. It won't be as bad as you think." Jean said with a calm, encouraging smile.

I mean, really... the fact that we brought along the fertility goddess should have been her first clue that she was in for it.

"Trust me, boo. You wanna stick around for this." I informed her, linking my arm into hers (which she absolutely hates) and tugging her along before she could make a run for it.

"I'm gunna pretend that you didn't just call me boo." Rogue grumbled, as we neared the rest of our party, who were all far more excited than Rogue to be there.

"What is _that_?" Illyana asked, eyeballing the fertility goddess statue in Jean's hand, and Jean held it up with a shrug.

"This is Wendy. She's our mascot for the evening." She explained as if a fertility goddess with pregnancy tests taped to her hands and a tissue paper bathing suit were a totally normal thing to be carrying around.

"Yeah it's hilarious." Rogue muttered sarcastically.

"We got you a little something!" Alison exclaimed, producing a tacky looking sash with the word _Bride_ scrawled across it in curly purple script, and a plastic crown with pink downy feathers glued to the base

"Oh _hell_ _no_!" Rogue protested firmly with a scowl, "I am not wearin' that. Did you take a blow to the head in the Danger Room or somethin'?!"

"You have to wear the sash, at _least_!" Alison fought back, draping the sash over Rogue's head, much to her intense chagrin.

"This is so f***ing stupid..." Rogue grumbled down at the satin slip of fabric before lifting her disapproving eyes up to me, "Why are you doing this to me?"

"I'm not doing this _to_ you." I rolled my eyes as Storm handed Jean and myself a feather boa, "I'm doing this _for_ you. And you're welcome. Shall we?" I gestured towards the door before tossing the boa around my neck and leading the way.

The first treat came when I gave my name, and got the lot of us ushered in *for free*. We were on the dang list. My name pulls weight, ya'll, I am _Beyonce_. Always.

The second treat came when we were ushered to our reserved booth, with prime access to the bar and a fantastic view of the stage. I daresay that even Rogue was impressed, even though she was fighting really hard to look annoyed.

The third treat was when the gentleman who escorted us to our booth, informed us that drinks were on the house for our party because we were _special guests_ for the evening.

Finally, Rogue actually looked impressed.

"How the hell did you manage all this?" Rogue asked with wide eyes after the nice man left with our drink orders.

"I know a guy." I shrugged casually with a cryptic smile, and Illyana grimaced.

"Ew."

"Not like _that_ , gross." I snapped back at her.

"I wouldn't mind _knowing_ a few of these guys..." Tabby commented with a wolfish grin and an eyebrow waggle, giving Jubilee a little elbow nudge.

Jubilee clucked her tongue and rolled her eyes, "You're _married_."

"Ray is very open minded." She shrugged, which prompted all of us to immediately, and loudly, demand that she stop speaking immediately. "Well he is! Trust me, he wouldn't mind having one of these beefcakes between the sheets with me-"

We finally managed to get her to stop talking, and thankfully our drinks arrived, which was enough to shut Tabby up for the time being.

"I wonder how the boys are doin'." Mercy mused out loud as she sipped on her Virgin Daiquiri, "I feel a little guilty, tellin' Henri _no strippers_ an' now here I am..."

"You told Henri no strippers?" Tabby balked, "At _Gambit's_ bachelor party?!"

Jubilee snorted into her glass and shook her head, "There's no way they're going to listen to that rule."

"Actually, none of them really seemed to eager to hire a stripper to begin with." Rogue shrugged, swirling her straw around the glass with a frown, "Except for _Alex_."

"This is not the same anyway." Illyana said with a flip of her wrist, "These are not _strippers_ , these are _dancers_."

"Who take their clothes off." Alison added with a giggle shared with Jubilee, and Illyana's lip curled in slight disgust with a little glare.

She really does hate that girl.

We didn't get the chance to debate the matter any further, because this was the moment that treat number four showed up in the flesh. In that mighty fine flesh.

Doug's connection in this entire soiree; his college roommate, Mr. Perfect himself, Ethan. I don't know his last name. But I do know his stage name is _Trent Steel,_ so there's that.

"Nap girl!" It's been 8 years, and I'm still nap girl. I fell asleep in class one time, in my entire school career, and now I am nap girl. "Long time no see!" Ethan grinned with his perfect teeth and came to a stop at our booth, hooking his thumbs into the belt loops of his jeans. He wasn't _dressed_ for the evening, or... undressed I suppose, wearing a simple white t-shirt and jeans, and yet somehow he still managed to attract every single woman's attention. I can only assume that meant he came out before getting ready, just to say hi. Because he's like, the nicest hot guy ever.

"Hey Ethan!" I smiled back, "How have you been?"

He lifted his palms up and glanced around with a chuckle, "Pretty awesome. I started working here to pay for school, but I decided the money here was too good, I figured why fix what ain't broke, you know?"

"Plus you know, less tests." I said like an idiot, and he shot me another winning grin. "Anyway, thanks so much for setting this up for us, I know it was short notice and everything, and this place is clearly in high demand-"

He held up his hand and shook his head dismissively, "Anything for the Dougster. He's a good guy."

"I think so too." I laughed.

"So you guys are still together?" He asked with a grin.

"We were never together." I reiterated, because Ethan might not remember, but we have had this conversation before. Multiple times.

Ethan scoffed and rolled his eyes playfully, "You guys moved to England together-"

"For work." I clarified, "Just friends."

He chuckled and conceded, even though I'm still fairly certain he didn't believe me, and then he turned to the rest of the women at the table, "And who are your friends?"

I introduced everyone, finishing up with Rogue, adding,

"She's the bride."

"Hey! Congratulations!" Ethan grinned, and Rogue's cheeks burned as she sheepishly shrugged,

"Yeah, it's..." She trailed off stupidly.

Ethan furrowed his brow in concentration for a moment and then pointed at her, "We met in college, didn't we?"

Her blush deepened and her eyes widened with a giggle, "Yeah, I think so."

"Nice!" Ethan nodded, seemingly super pleased with her response, and then he turned his attention to the fertility goddess mascot we had placed in the centre of the table, "I gotta ask; What's going on here?"

"Oh... it's just... a stupid joke..." Rogue spluttered out, her befuddled state causing Tabby and Jubilee to snicker, until Mercy quickly swooped in with a smooth smile.

"It's a fertility goddess, she's our mascot for the evening." She rubbed her hand over her belly with a little chuckle to help make her point and Ethan got a good kick out of that.

I mean, technically the goddess is holding some _negative_ pregnancy tests, because we _don't_ want Rogue to procreate. Just to be clear.

We chatted with Ethan a little bit more; Jean and Storm were completely astounded that he'd given up a career in medicine to "dance", Mercy and Alison were super interested in what sort of dance experience he had before winding up here, Jubilee wrote him a rap of his name and totally ended it on the rhyme for the first time ever, Illyana wanted to know if he was into younger women, Tabby wanted to know if he was into threesomes... I was super apologetic...

He was super polite and kind the entire time, talking with us for at least 20 minutes before glancing at the time and smiling regrettably, "Well, I hope you ladies have an awesome evening. I gotta go get ready for curtains up, just wanted to drop in and say hey!" He turned to give me one more friendly smile and added, "Doug mentioned he was coming to town in a few days, the three of us should get together. You know, catch up."

I smiled back and nodded, "Sure! Have a good show!"

He tossed us a little wave over his shoulder as he made his way backstage, and Alison turned back to me with a mischievous smile.

"He was completely hitting on you."

"No he wasn't. That's just Ethan. Ethan is nice." I shook my head with a frown.

"She's not his type anyway. He's way out of her league." Rogue scoffed. I would have been offended, had she not been entirely right. I'm self aware, guys.

"At least she can talk to him without stammering like an idiot..." Jubilee pointed out with a quirked eyebrow.

"She's kind of right." Alison pressed her fingers to her lips with a giggle.

"It's not her fault. Rogue just has trouble talking to hot guys." I replied defensively, stirring the straw around my Long Island Iced Tea as I spoke, "Deep down she's still that sad little goth who can't touch."

"I am not." Rogue bit back, "Whatever, I can talk to hot guys. I'm getting _married_ to one on Saturday."

"That doesn't even count." I countered with a laugh, "The only reason you were ever able to talk to Gambit in the first place is because you hated him."

Mercy's eyebrows shot up into her hairline, "You _hated_ him?"

"The first time they met he tried to kill her." Tabby added with a pleased grin, and Rogue rolled her eyes.

"He did not try to kill me."

"He was working for Magneto." I interjected, just so Mercy was clear that we don't normally go around trying to kill one another.

"He handed her a charged up card and did that thing he does with his eyes." Jubilee explained to Alison and Mercy, who were likely the only two at the table who weren't already aware of this information. "She snapped out of it just in time."

"I had it under control." Rogue scoffed.

"So then how on earth did the two of you end up _dating_ in the first place?" Alison asked with great interest, and Rogue sighed as if she were totally put out to have to re-tell the story of their love.

She wasn't.

"He stopped working for Magneto and joined our side, and he was a massive pain in my ass. He just kept pesterin' me... all the time, followin' me around and flirting like an idiot. Eventually I realized that he wasn't _so_ bad."

Jean sighed with a little pout and pressed a hand to her heart, "So romantic."

"Don't forget that he _detained_ you and brought you down to New Orleans to rescue his father." Storm reminded with a fond smile. "That was fun."

"Yeah, it was a party and a half." Rogue muttered with an eye roll and Mercy's eyes lit up as something seemed to click into place.

I'm really glad that no one brought up how he basically drugged her and tied her up and tossed her on a boxcar. I'm planning on working that into my Maid of Honour speech.

"Oh my gosh, of course! I can't believe I didn't put that together sooner! It was so long ago, I didn't realize-" She stopped herself and shook her head quickly, "He told us about a _special girl_ who helped him out... obviously Henri and I never gave it a second thought. Oh this is absolutely adorable!"

Rogue's cheeks reddened slightly and she sank down in her seat an inch, "Whatever, it wasn't a big deal-"

"He had his eye on you all the way back then." Jean chimed in with a dreamy smile, "That _is_ romantic."

"It's like, fate." Jubilee cooed, which prompted Alison to _awww._

"Can we talk about somethin' else now?" Rogue pleaded, her face twisting up in an uncomfortable smile, "Remy's the romantic sentimental one, you can _oooh and aww_ over this shit with him. Go back to talkin' about Hot Guy."

"Ah, that would be _Trent Steel_." I corrected smugly, "He saw the name on a billboard and thought it sounded cool."

"Look at that, Kitty knows all the details..." Alison commented with wide grin, her finger dragging lazy circles along the rim of her glass, "There was totally a vibe between you two, you should ask him out."

I snorted super hard, "Uh, _no_."

"I bet he would help relieve some stress." Tabby goaded with a wink.

I closed my eyes and shot out a breath at the mention of my stress, which I did such a bang up job of disguising. This is exactly why I don't like these people gossiping about me, and as if to prove my point, Jean knit her brow and said,

"It really isn't good for your system to bottle up all that anxiety, Kitty."

Mercy's brow pinched together and she frowned at me, "You got stress? Ooh, chere, that ain't good for someone as young as you."

"Everyone has stress." I said with a repressed eye roll and dismissive shrug, and Tabby raised an eyebrow at me from over her mostly empty cocktail glass.

"Not everyone goes on stress leave."

"Oh shug," Mercy shook her head with that concerned frown deepening, "You're on stress leave and you're plannin' a wedding?!"

The eye roll slipped out and I tossed a hand in the air as I tried to think of something to say in my defense, eventually landing on, "... it's not for me."

As if that would help prove my point, at all.

"See, this is my point." Tabby flipped a hand towards me, "She needs some carnal comfort. If not with Trent Steel, at least pick another one of these fine gentlemen. Do it for your country, Kitty."

"Ugh." Illyana piped up with an incredibly dramatic eye roll after sucking her beverage dry and slamming the glass down on the table, "First of all, if anyone here is going to be getting the carnal comfort, it is going to be _me_. Look at me, I am gorgeous."

She gestured at herself to really drive her point home, because she's never been a humble girl.

"Second of all, you people have _no_ morals. She is dating my brother, and you are trying to encourage her to cheat on him?" She sniffed and then continued to rant about the sanctity of relationships in Russian.

And the damage was done.

So much for trying to keep the gossip hounds at bay. Alison sucked in a breath and cocked her head towards me with wide eyes, "No way!"

"You're dating Pete? _Again_?" Jubilee chimed in.

"Well... yeah." I sighed, coinciding defeat. "It's not a big deal-"

" _Really_?!" Alison's face twisted up in confusion.

"Wait, was this supposed to be a secret?" Illyana frowned, "I did not know it was a _secret_."

"It wasn't a secret." I shrugged awkwardly, "We just weren't... you know, shouting it from the rooftops or anything. I don't like everyone knowing my business-"

"Are you guys gunna get married?!" Jubilee asked excitedly, apparently having totally ignored my former statement, "Are you moving back?!"

I groaned and sank down in my seat a bit, "Can we go back to making fun of Rogue for not being able to talk to boys?"

Rogue laughed with a snort, and Storm spoke up, wagging her finger at me with a grin, "I _knew_ there was something going on between you two. Ever since I caught you shamelessly flirting in front of a classroom full of children."

"We were not _flirting_." I shot back defensively, feeling everyone's intrigued eyes on me. I turned to them and implored, "We were _not_ flirting."

"Sweetheart, I've known you long enough to know flirting when I see it." Storm winked.

A weaker woman would have used this opportunity to mention Logan's secret attic sex den, but I'm stronger than that. But I'm just saying guys, I totally could have called Storm out on the bearskin bed, let's all just acknowledge the depth of my willpower right now.

"So, is it serious?" Jubilee asked with a smile, and everyone waited patiently for an answer.

"I mean... I don't know... I guess." I shrugged uncomfortably.

"You guess?" Rogue quirked a brow and the corner of her mouth curved upwards, "What the hell does that mean, _you guess_?"

"It means I don't want to talk about it." I told her with a pointed look, which she obviously ignored with a wide grin back at the other ladies at the table.

"That's totally a yes."

" _Is_ it serious?" Illyana suddenly perked up with a glimmer of interest in her eye. Interest, or concern. I'm not sure. It was definitely one of those two. Possibly both.

"We're just... seeing how things go. One step at a time. No rush, you know?"

Tabby snorted, "Well, you're not getting any younger."

"Oh look, the show is starting! Everyone shut up now." I announced dismissively, turning my undivided attention towards the stage, where the lights had dimmed dramatically before the curtains pulled open, and the crowd went wild.

And I mean _wild_.

I've never heard women scream so insanely in my life, and I've been in legit _battles,_ you guys. With guns, and powers and everything.

This still takes the cake.

I'll spare you the details of the show, because trust me guys, it was not pretty. Maybe I just don't have the male-stripper-loving gene or something, because there were plenty of hoots and hollers of approval, but to me it was just so bad.

The one redeeming point was when they were eyeing the audience up for a volunteer, and of course, Ethan came right over to our table.

Poor Rogue's eyes went so wide, and her face went ghostly pale at the very idea of being on stage, for _that_ , being all... touched and stuff, and I took pity on her. I was a second away from taking that bullet for her and volunteering as tribute, but Jubilee beat me to the punch.

Thank God, because that part was _extra_ awful. They sat her in a chair and then started gyrating. Like, I'm talking inches from her face. It was both hilarious, and deeply disturbing at the same time, and by far the highlight of the evening.

Laughing until our stomachs hurt at Jubilee's expense is universally fun.

And I'm so very grateful she stepped in first, because I probably would have inadvertently phased myself right down through the stage out of sheer horror.

Crisis averted.

Once the show was over, it became painfully apparent that Rogue had possibly had a little bit _too much_ fun. Which is to say she was completely hammered. She was taking full advantage of those free drinks all evening, and she loved it. But when she reached the point where she was patting Jean and Mercy's bellies and cooing about how she was going to be the _world's best aunt_ , and calling herself Auntie Ro with hysterical laughter, we took that as our cue to call it a night.

Uncle Mimi and Auntie Ro. I mean, it is pretty hilarious.

So after we said goodbye to the rest of our party, who all had their own modes of transportation and had decided to hang around to continue the party a little longer, Jean and I somehow managed to corral Rogue back to the mini van, and then subsequently dragged her heavy ass upstairs to her room, while still wearing our feather boas and carting around a statue of a naked chick. Jean might have done most of the heavy lifting, with her telekinesis, but I like to think that it was 50/50.

I reached in through Rogue's bedroom door to pop the lock and kicked the door open, managing to guide Rogue in through the doorway as I flicked the light on.

She groaned and slapped a hand over her eyes, "Unnnnggghhh, so bright." She slurred, before stumbling over to her bed and flopping down face first with her arms and legs spread out like a starfish.

Jean and I exchanged before crossing the room to get Rogue... I don't know, descent? At least out of her disgusting clothes that smelled like whiskey and... strip club, so whatever mystery bag of scents that would be.

Jean eyed Rogue's skinny jeans with a huff, setting _Wendy_ down on the nightstand and furrowing her brow thoughtfully, "We don't have to peel those suckers off, do we? You can phase her out of them, right?"

I pressed my lips into a grimace, "I'd rather not, but yes, I can."

"Why don't we find her some pajamas first?" Jean suggested, moving over to the dresser and glancing back at Rogue's prone form on the bed. "Hey! Are you lucid enough to tell me where your PJ's are?"

Or at least just think about it so Jean can read your mind and we don't have to go rifiling through all your drawers?

Rogue grumbled something into her comforter and flicked a hand in no direction in particular, which actually ended up slapping her in the back of the head.

Jean's lips curled into a little smile and she gave me a nod, "Right. I guess we'll just guess. You were her roommate, where did she keep her jammies?"

I shrugged, "Second drawer from the top, maybe?"

Jean pulled the drawer open, only to suck in a sharp breath and snap it back shut with enough force to shake the fertility goddess sitting on top.

"Definitely _not_ the second drawer." She said, casting me a little look from over her shoulder, her cheeks flaming red.

I blinked at her with a tentative smile, "Do I want to know?"

"Probably not."

"Alright then." I nodded, "Try the third one."

Jean carefully pulled the drawer open, letting out a sigh of relief as she pulled out a pair of grey waffle knit PJ's, shoving the drawer shut quickly as if some unknown creature could potentially leap out if she left if open too long. She brought the pajamas over to Rogue and I on the bed and I made quick work of phasing off her shoes, socks and ridiculously skinny jeans.

We managed to get her PJ bottoms on without too much of an issue, even though Rogue was completely useless dead weight laying on her belly like a newborn.

That was when Remy came in.

"Oh good, you guys are back!" He said excitedly as he closed the door behind him, and then his glimmering eyes fell upon his barely conscious fiancee, "And you let her get wasted."

She protested that she was _not_ wasted, with her face still pressed into the mattress, even though she was very clearly definitely wasted.

"Henri put us all on a two drink limit." He frowned, kicking his shoes off as he spoke, "And here I thought Scott was gunna be the wet blanket, right?"

Jean hummed with a tight smile and I phased Rogue's shirt off.

"We're going to have to roll her over to get her top on." I stated, and I swear I could hear Remy's perverted smirk. I squared my jaw and glared back at him (he was definitely smirking) "Are you going to stand there and be gross, or are you going to help?"

"Looks like you two belle _femmes_ got it under control, _non_?" He winked, "Consider this part of my party."

"Ugh, Remy." Jean frowned disapprovingly and we started trying to thread her body parts through the holes in her pajama top.

"How was your party anyway?" I asked absently as tugged the grey shirt down over Rogue's torso, "I mean, it would be pretty sad if _this_ were the highlight of your evening."

That spark of excitement lit back up in his eyes and he gave his head a shake, "It was actually pretty great, despite the drink limit. You'll never guess what I got."

"What'd you get, Remy?" Jean asked with that appeasing mom smile of hers.

"Okay." He pulled the desk chair out and flipped it around to straddle it backwards, clearly getting prepared to tell us quite the tale, "So we were playin' poker. I was up $120, each hand luckier than the last, an' the guys can't handle this. So they start ribbin' me, tryin' to get me goin', you know? They're sayin' that I'm all domesticated now that I'm gettin' married, and that I've lost my edge. And then _Henri_ makes me a bet; He bets I can't even pull off a job anymore." Remy scoffed in disbelief and Jean knit her brow.

"A job... like... a _job_?"

"Like a _job_." Remy confirms with a nod and then adds, " _Stealing things_."

You know, just for further clarification.

"So anyway, I laugh at that. Because of course I can. I might be out of practice, but it ain't exactly a skill you just _forget_. It's like riding a bike, or having sex. It's locked in there." He tapped his temple and then continued, "An' I tell them that, when I take Henri up on his damn bet. Henri's good at many things, but he ain't a gambler. Never was good at readin' the odds, you know?

Realization settled in and Jean's eyebrows shot up, "You did a job _tonight_?"

"You got it." He grinned smugly, "They didn't think I could get in and out in under two minutes." He scoffed and gave his eyes a roll, "Leave it to Henri to grossly underestimate his _frere_."

"Wait." Jean blinked and held up a hand, "You did a job tonight. With Scott there. And Scott was okay with this."

Remy's grin spread and he tipped his head to the side, "He was very much okay with it. In fact, he was my lookout."

Now my eyebrows shot up in surprise, and Remy backpedaled a little bit.

"Alright, they were _all_ my lookout, but Scooter didn't protest too much."

"Who did you steal from?!" I asked finally, sensing that this was what his story was building towards.

He smiled gleefully, "Magneto."

Jean's mouth dropped open and she let out a laugh, "Are you kidding me?"

"Nope. Got in and out in under two minutes, too. Those idiots probably won't even know what hit 'em until Monday." Remy snorted and gave his head a shake, "Anyway, I won the bet. And I got Rogue her something blue." He said, opening his coat and digging around in one of the inner pockets before producing a long velvety purple cape.

Remy stole Magneto's cape.

And the only thing I could think to say was, "That's purple. It's not blue."

He rolled his eyes at me and tossed it onto the ground at my feet, "Well then it's her something _borrowed_ , alright? Geeze."

"Is it really borrowed if you don't intend to return it?" Jean mused with a playful little smile before hoisting herself up off the bed and giving Remy a pat on his head, "I'm glad you had fun. And thank you for inviting Scott. He would never admit it, but... he appreciates it."

"Rogue made me." He countered, and Jean shot me a smile as she moved to the door.

"Sure she did."

"Nice boa!" He called out right before she closed the door behind her, and then he turned to me and gave me a wink, "You too. You can leave that here when you leave."

I opened my mouth to respond, only to be interrupted by Rogue suddenly bolting upright before jumping off the bed like a cat... like a long tailed cat in a... rocking chair factory...?

No, I can't do the colloquialisms.

Anyway, she jumped out of bed and raced off towards the bathroom, managing to knock the fertility goddess statue clear off the nightstand in the process, and then she slammed the bathroom door behind her before we were treated to the wonderful muffled sounds of her getting sick.

Remy, with his catlike reflexes, caught the statue mid flight, and was eyeing it with an intense grimace.

"What _is_ this? When did Rogue buy this thing? That girl's got the worst taste in design, I _told_ her to leave that shit to me. I don't want my room lookin' like a tacky thrift store."

"Storm got it for you as a wedding shower gift. It's a _fertility goddess_ , and I'm assuming she bought it as a joke." I explained with a wry little grin.

"And you taped f***in' pregnancy tests to it?!" He asked his eyes flicking up to me. "That ain't funny, Kitty. You don't mess around with this kind of voodoo shit, it's bad juju."

I snorted with a laugh and shook my head, "You did _not_ just say that."

"It's true!" He dropped the statue onto the bed as if he just realized he was still holding it, and as if it were covered in baby cooties.

"Oh my gosh relax, it's good juju! They're _negative_ tests." I rolled my eyes as I moved over to the desk to look for some scissors to cut the tape off, "Jean and I brought Wendy along as our mascot. We named her Wendy. And we duct taped the tests to her hands along with a tasteful outfit for the evening, because she is a lady."

He blinked at me once and shook his head, "You're an idiot, and those ain't negative." Remy replied with a frown, "Which is the _opposite_ of good juju."

"They're negative, Remy. Trust me, okay?" I reiterated as I rummaged through the desk drawer for a pair of scissors, "Do you have like a knife or something in one of your million coat pockets? Because I'm finding nothing in here."

"Even _I_ know what a positive pregnancy test looks like, Kitty." He responded, jerking his head towards the statue on the bed pointedly.

I sighed abandoning my scissor search to move to the bed and prove Remy wrong. I grabbed up the statue and pointed to the result window of one of the tests "Look, they're negative, one line means neg-"

And then I stopped talking. As I stared at the very visible, very dark, _two_ lines.

" _See_?" He said with a smug grin and eyebrow raise, "I find it amusing that a bunch of chicks spent the whole evening with the thing and not one of you noticed the tests were positive. _"_

"That's _positive_." I exhaled, ripping one of the tests free of the statue for a better look. As if holding it a few inches from ones face was going to suddenly make it change. "How is that... No that can't be. I _checked_ them after I peed on them! I di- I mean, I glanced. I definitely glanced. There's got to be something wrong with them, it must be a bad batch-"

"Wait, these are _your_ tests?" Remy asked, his eyebrows shooting up into his hairline, and my wild eyes darted up to meet his.

"Of _course_ they're mine, I'm not freaking out over Jean's positive tests, Remy!"

"Alright, minette, calm down. You're panicking."

"Uh huh! Join me, won't you!?" I shouted back, my voice jumping up an octave.

"Would you just calm down." He repeated, pressing his hands to my shoulders and pushing me down to sit on the bed, "And _breathe_."

I let out a long steady breath that I hadn't even known I'd been holding and nodded to myself, "Okay, yeah. This is fine. This is- I can totally handle this."

"Exactly. And you're gunna be a great mom, you got nothin' to worry about. You've been taking care of Rogue for 10 years, that's loads of experience, right there." He smirked, and I'm not sure if he was joking or not, but he kind of did raise a good point.

Except my brain was not prepared for his comment, and I felt the blood drain from my face, "Oh God. I hadn't even..." I let out a few shallow breaths, "I hadn't even thought about the _mom_ thing. Why would you say that?!"

"I'm just tryin' to help." Remy shrugged, lowering himself back down into the desk chair with an unconcerned shrug.

"I'm still trying to figure out how this even happened!" I cried back, and a slow grin spread across his face.

"Well, if you're not sure how it happened then you should definitely sit in on one of my Geography classes."

"I know how it _happened_." I replied through barred teeth, "I just don't know _how_. I took my pill, every damn day. Even with the effing time change and the jet lag, I was on top of that shit, this doesn't even make any-" I stopped talking the second the reason clicked in my head. "Oh my God. It's the medication. The... St. John's Wort or... whatever. The stupid fake therapist piece of shit doctor gave me for my anxiety! He told me the side effects, and that it could cause your birth control to stop working, but I didn't think anything of it, because I wasn't having any _sex._ "

"Definitely didn't do its job helping with the anxiety, did it." Remy commented with a little head shake. I'm glad he was getting so much amusement out of the entire situation. Really, I am. "Now, I gotta ask; You do know which Pete is the father, right? This ain't a... _Bridget Jones Baby_ situation."

My head jerked up and I blinked at him in surprise, and he gave me a little chuckle in response.

"I know you've been messin' around with our Pete; you shoulda seen your face when I told you Pete was on Skype with _Jenny,_ f***in' Helen Keller could have figured that shit out. You got all twitchy, and your voice went all high and weird... it was hilarious."

I continued to balk at him stupidly and he shook his head, remembering his point.

"That doesn't rule out England Pete, unfortunately. Or any other interim _Petes_ -"

"Oh God, Pete..." I moaned, dropping my head into my hands, still apparently clutching onto the test, "This is all my fault. This is all- He's going to think I did this on purpose or something, isn't he? He's going to blame me for this! This is all my _stupid fault_!"

Remy let out a sigh and stood up from the chair to move over and sit himself down next to me, "Nobody is gunna _blame_ you for anything, least of all Pete." He began, putting an arm around me as he spoke, "We are talking about _Piotr_ here, right?"

I glared up at him and he nodded sharply, "Just checkin'." He gave me a one armed squeeze and continued, "Look, you may not have been parading this... thing between the two of you around, or whatever, but I know Pete. I know he cares about you. Always will. You got nothin' to worry about with Pete. Besides, if anything Petey will be thrilled; this is your ticket to movin' back, minette! You got your _sign_."

I sucked in a breath and stiffened under Remy's arm, "This is not a _sign_ , Gambit. This is a _complication_. And I'm not just going to drop everything and move back just because of... because of a baby- Oh God, I said the word, it's too soon. I thought I could say it, I think I'm gunna pass out."

"Do you need to throw up? We can push Rogue out of the way."

I pressed my lips together and shook my head, determined to press on, "I'm not just going to move back because of an _inconvenient situation_. And I'm not having this conversation with you anyway. Stop talking. You're making it worse."

I pushed myself up from the bed and paced a few times in front of him before finally stopping and turning to face him, "Do not tell anyone. _Nobody_. Do you understand me?"

"Nobody. Got it."

"Not even Rogue."

"Lips are sealed, chere." He said with a little pantomime of locking his lips, "You are gunna tell Pete though, right? You ain't gunna just take off for London after the wedding and not tell him till the kid's 18, and shows up on his doorstep one day-"

" _Yes_ , I'm going to tell him." I interrupted him with a hiss, "I mean, if I actually am- if the tests are actually _right_. They're old tests. For all I know the could just be... malfunctioning."

"They ain't that old, minette." Remy replied, his eyes dancing at my state of panic. "An' I doubt they'd both malfunction in the same way. And also cause your boobs to grow." He commented, his eyes darting down to my chest as he cocked his head to the side in observation, "At least a cup size right there, just sayin'."

I closed my eyes and let out an even breath, choosing to ignore Remy's comment on my chest.

"I just need some time to... process everything."

"What's there to process, minette?" Remy snorted, "You're knocked up. Case closed. It ain't that complicated."

I scowled at him as I pulled the other positive test free from the stupid fertility goddess, grumbling under my breath.

"Bet you wish you and Pete had bought a box of those Costco condoms for yourself, right about now, hmm?" He smirked, "Doublin' up ain't lookin' so dumb anymore, is it?"

I hate it so much when Remy is right.


	18. Something Blue

_**A/N- Alright folks, honesty time. I am out of chapters on reserve. And I am stupid busy with school, and my children. I know, it sucks, but it is what it is. I apologize for the hiatus last week, but this is going to now be a likely bi-weekly update. There aren't TOO many chapters left to go but I just don't have the amount of time to write that I had in the summer, and when I do have time to write, I am just so very tired. Because I am old.**_

 _ **This one is a good one at least, so I hope you don't hate me too hard for leaving you hanging for another two weeks!**_

The following does not reflect the views or opinions of Marvel or the author known as 'Kinetically Charmed'.

 **Entry number eighteen:**

I left Remy to tend to Rogue on his own, since I was clearly in far too much of a daze to be of any use and the sound of Rogue retching was making me feel sick.

And no, it was not... _nausea_. You try listening to someone vomiting in the next room and tell me you don't start feeling sick, okay?!

I was a little bit spaced out as I walked through the hall, my mind obviously elsewhere, glancing down at the two tests in my hand as if they would somehow miraculously change, and before I knew it I was back at my room.

Except it wasn't my effing room.

Which I didn't realize until I phased in through the door and Piotr stepped out of the bathroom.

"Hey, there you are." He smiled warmly at me and I tried my damnedest to act natural and smile back. "How was your evening?"

"Rogue is vomiting herself to sleep, Jubilee violated some male strippers. You know, the usual." I shrugged, remembering the tests in my hand and casually stuffing them into my back pocket before attempting to pathetically deflect away from myself, "Remy told me about your late night capers, that must have been fun."

Piotr chuckled, "He was like a child in a candy store."

"I'll bet." I snorted, turning towards the chest of drawers to rummage through and find my things, managing to slip the tests out of my pocket and slide them into one of my socks.

"I think I'm going to spend the night in my room." I said lamely as I gathered some things together to make it look like I'd intended to come back to his room in the first place, "I'm just um... you know, super exhausted. I think I might have had one too many or something." I lied.

"Are you alright?" He asked with a frown.

"Oh yeah, totally." I replied with a high pitched voice that didn't even remotely sound convincing.

I hadn't even realized he was crossing the room until he snaked his arms around my waist and nuzzled his face against the top of my head. "Are you sure?" He asked skeptically, "You are not sneaking off to meet up with some male dancer you met tonight, I hope."

I choked on a laugh, biting my lip as I fought back the urge to smile. " _Definitely_ not."

"Good. I would hate for you to leave me for a stripper, I kind of like you." He murmured in my ear, and I finally cracked a little smirk and nodded.

"Likewise."

"I kind of like you a lot." He kissed his way down the side of my neck and slid his hands up my sides, and I found myself leaning into him in spite of myself.

"I thought Henri put you guys on a two drink cap, you're acting awfully friendly for two drinks." I attempted to joke in order to sort of lighten the situation a little, which didn't work at all.

"You are sure I cannot convince you to stay tonight?" He grinned brushing his lips over the shell of my ear and I forced down a swallow, feeling my resolve wavering. "You know you love my sheets... I love you _in_ my sheets..."

"Woah... let's just slow this thing down a little bit now." I phased away from him so fast that I might have pulled a muscle, uttering a forced and incredibly strained chuckle as I took a few steps away from him, backwards. Holding my hands up in front of me as if he were holding a gun on me.

He blinked at me, confused by my reaction and then gave his head a quick shake, "Huh?"

What can I say? His comment had been a bitch slap back to reality. I mean, it wasn't so much what he said, as how my brain received it, obviously. I guess hearing the words "I love you" regardless of what followed caused my brain to start dry heaving, it was just one to many bombshells for me to handle in an evening.

Even if he... wasn't even technically saying the _L_ word.

"I just think that maybe... you know, things are moving a little too fast at the present time, Piotr."

"What are you-"

"You can't just go tossin' around that word all willy-nilly, you know? We have _history_. The _bad_ kind of history."

He knit his brow, probably when he realized what my problem was, because apparently he's grown accustomed to deciphering _crazy_ , and frowned at me, "I said _in my sheets_ -"

"You just said it again there didn't ya?!" It was as if my whole body was just on autopilot at this point. I knew I was acting crazy, but dammit, I just couldn't regain control of the beast. This puppy was goin' down.

" _No_ , I didn't." Piotr replied evenly, although he was clearly beginning to become irritated, "But it is very good to see where you are _emotionally_. _Sheer panic_ is always a welcomed reaction, especially since _you_ are the one who pushed for this relationship in the first place. "

"Wow, so this is my fault?!" I shot back, and Piotr fixed me with a bewildered expression.

"Your... _fault_? How is our relationship anyone's _fault_ , Kitty?! What has gotten into-"

"Nothing has gotten into me, okay?! I just think that things are moving really fast right now, and we need to just cool it! _Geeze_!" I huffed and crossed my arms with a frown, "Like, I'm going back to London in a few days, Pete. You can't just out of the blue start... saying things... and what, expect me to stay?! We clearly need to just take a step back and think things through."

His bewildered expression grew exponentially and he blinked a few times with a baffled head shake, " _Fine._ Whatever, Kitty." He threw his hands up before closing his eyes and rubbing his forehead with the tips of his fingers, "Just go. You are giving me a headache."

"I _will_ go." I shot back, like an idiot.

"Good." He stopped rubbing his head and shot me a glare, "You should talk to the Professor about getting some mental help, because you are acting like a crazy person."

I scoffed and gathered up my things before spinning around to shoot him one last indignant look, "Crazy like a _fox_!"

Yep. Definitely crazy.

In my own, incredibly pathetic defense, I'd kind of had a big day. That's my story and I'm sticking to it, alright? I know I acted like an insane person, but you have to put yourself in my position. I mean, really, the tests are probably wrong anyway. This will totally all just blow over, it won't even be a big deal. And we'll all look back on this and have a good laugh.

Remember that time Kitty went insane? Good times.

See?

Anyway, I wisely chose to sequester myself in my bedroom for the night, where I absolutely did not get any sleep at all, because obviously all I could think about were the two stupid pee sticks stuffed in one of my socks in Piotr's room.

So I spent the night doing anything I could to distract me from obsessing about the situation. Which is why I was late to breakfast the next morning, avoiding the breakfast crowd by a good chunk of time, and subsequently avoiding Pete as well. By the time I meandered down there to scrape together some brunch, it was completely empty, and I was free to shamelessly stress eat some Fruit Loops and a few of Bobby's coveted protein bars which he tried hiding in the shelf above the fridge behind the spare mugs.

I was three quarters of the way through my first bar when Jubilee poked her head into the kitchen and gave me a grin, "There you are."

My heart rate spiked because she had that shit eating smile of hers that she gets when she _knows_ something, and I forced down the mouthful of stolen Clif bar, "... What's up?"

"Bobby says you have a _guest_. He just buzzed them through the gate."

I let out a massive sigh of relief and nodded my thanks, stuffing the rest of the bar into my mouth and disposing of the evidence. I really hadn't even given any thought as to who my guest could possibly be, obviously still reeling from my near miss with Jubilee (yea I'm being sarcastic), so when I reached the foyer and saw Doug and Betsy push through the front door, I refuse to be held accountable for my over the top reaction.

I gasped and then ran the rest of the way across the foyer to him, like a dog whose owner has just returned from Iraq. I threw my arms around his neck before he was able to get out whatever lame greeting he'd inevitably been planning since their plane touched down in New York, and hugged him with the might of an Amazon woman.

"Oh my God, I am so happy to see you. I missed you guys _so much_."

"You guys?" Betsy countered, closing the door behind her with an arched brow and an amused smirk.

"I'm sure she missed you a little." Doug placated her with a little smile as he pathetically returned my anchoring hug, "It's not your fault I'm her favorite."

"I'm just so happy to see you... what are you doing here already? I didn't think your flight got in until tomorrow morning!" I gushed with the side of my face pressed against his chest.

"Well, the boss was in a good mood since apparently he'd been invited to the wedding too." Doug's snort laugh reverberated through his chest, "He really likes weddings, doesn't he? Anyway we dropped our things off at the hotel and came right over, Betsy couldn't wait to see the mansion-"

I pulled back just enough to look Doug in the eye, "Wait, _Wisdom_? Wisdom is here?"

"You invited him, didn't you?" Betsy pointed out with a frown.

"Well... yeah, I guess. He was angling for an invitation, I didn't think he actually wanted to _come_. I just thought he was just... you know, trying to be a pest." I pressed my lips together and knit my brow, internally worrying about how Rogue was going to react to yet another guest "crashing" her wedding.

"Hey." Doug cocked his head to get me to look him in the eye, "You're supposed to be here _relaxing_ , right? So relax. Rogue won't even know. She'll be too busy to care."

Yeah, we'll see about that, buddy. He hasn't seen her yet.

"I told you this wouldn't be a vacation." Betsy pointed out, flipping her bone straight purple hair over her shoulder, "Visiting _family_ is never a vacation."

"This isn't my family." I rolled my eyes.

"It's all tomatoes, darling. This place is absolutely fantastic, by the way." Her gaze was sweeping across the foyer in appreciation, "I'd love a tour."

"Yeah, definitely." I nodded, all too happy to oblige and distract myself from my own life issues. The more I'm able to talk about other things, the less I'm likely to obsess, and it isn't exactly as if I could just let out some emotional diarrhea with Betsy standing there.

We aren't really in _that place_ as friends.

Also, she's my work partner, and finding out that I'm... in a family way... will directly effect her, so she's obviously going to have a very vocal opinion about it. One which I do not wish to hear at this time.

We started the grand tour of Not-Hogwarts starting on the second floor with the bedrooms, and then eventually making our way down to the rec room, which is where we found the Lebeau family.

Or... The Summers-Lebeau family, I guess.

Henri and Mercy had apparently absolutely _insisted_ on meeting Remy's newfound brothers (or gene-sharers as he likes to call them) and of course, stupid me forgot all about it. And if anyone makes a _pregnancy brain_ joke, I swear on everything that I will end you.

I tried backing us out of the room while Henri was too distracted with Scott and Alex to notice us, but of course Remy was having none of that.

"Doug! Long time no see!" He called out with a wave, drawing everyone's attention to us in the doorway.

Scott opened his mouth to say hi, but Remy was already halfway across the room, "You guys keep discussing our history of heart disease and genetic disorders, I'll just be a second." He informed them without leaving any room for argument, clapping a hand on Doug's shoulder happily and ushering the three of us out into the hallway.

Remy doesn't even like Doug that much, he was totally just using us as a distraction from the awkwardness that is his life.

"Great to see you!"

"Uh... yeah. Nice to see you too." Doug replied once we were out of the rec room, casting me a curious glance.

I conveyed that I would tell him later with a look.

"An' who is this?" Remy asked, turning his attention to Betsy with a long appreciative once over and a little smirk on his face.

" _Dude_." I gave him a smack on the arm.

"Betsy Braddock." She held out her hand without missing a beat, her head inclining towards me slightly, "I'm Pryde's partner. And Doug's girlfriend."

Remy's eyebrows shot up as he shook her hand, turning to Doug with a whole new respect, which he told him in French before turning back to Betsy and planting a kiss on the back of her hand.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, chere." I smacked him again and he finally dropped her hand and scowled at me, "I'm just being hospitable!"

"You're getting married tomorrow you creep." I reminded him with a sneer, "To my _best friend_."

Remy rolled his eyes dramatically and heaved a sigh, "Rogue doesn't care about a little harmless _hospitality_ , minette."

"You're being disrespectful."

"The only one who cares is you."

"This is so much fun..." I turned to glare at Betsy who had sidled up next to Doug with a gleeful smile, "Please, keep going. And tell me again how great it is to visit family."

"They sound like an old married couple, right?" Doug observed, wrapping his arm around Betsy who voiced her agreement.

"She _is_ like my ball and chain." Remy smiled, and I turned back to scowl at him.

"Oh shut up."

"Ah petite, this ain't you talkin', it's just the hormones-"

"Don't you _dare._ " I hissed, and he snapped his mouth shut before frowning, his eyes darting quickly towards Doug.

"You haven't told-"

" _No_."

"Have you told Pete yet?"

I punched him in the arm and he winced.

"Told Pete what?" Doug asked, obviously picking up on the tone of our unspoken conversation. "Which Pete?"

" _Which_ Pete?" Betsy balked at Doug and then turned to me, "How many Pete's _are_ there?!"

"Too many. Don't get me started."

"Why haven't you told Pete yet?" Remy frowned, "What are you waiting for, it ain't like you're getting any less-"

I spluttered out a nonsensical string of sounds which successfully shut Remy up.

"Pete is in _class_ right now, so nobody will be telling Pete anything, right now." I said with a pointed look.

"I'm sure Doug would love to see Pete's class, wouldn't you Doug?" Remy asked, glancing up at Doug, "You like... smart shit, right?"

Doug turned to Betsy and pressed his lips together, "I know should be offended, but he's not wrong."

She smiled and gave his cheek an affectionate little pat, "You do love your _smart shite_."

Bleh.

I rolled my eyes and made a face at Remy, who totally ignored me, "You should definitely take them up to see Pete in action. He teaches _History_." He added with a proud little nod.

"Oooh, _Hamilton_!"

The grin dropped off of Remy's face and he rolled his eyes as he muttered under his breath something about twin morons, which I'm like 99% sure was directed at me.

"I wouldn't mind seeing Pete's classroom..." Doug stated, "Plus I'm looking forward to brushing off my Russian, it's been so long."

"And I am quite interested in meeting this _Pete_ person." Betsy added with a little half grin.

"Come on! We haven't even been to the subbasement yet! There's so much to see!" I protested.

"Do you have a gym?" She asked, suddenly intrigued.

" _Do we have a gym_..." I trailed off with a chuckle which died off awkwardly, "Actually, no. Not really. But we do have a Danger Room, which, you have to admit sounds way cooler than a stupid gym."

Betsy didn't look convinced.

Betsy is a super fitness nut. She's into Krav Maga and weightlifting and weighing her food before she eats it.

There was clearly no convincing her that the Danger Room was more impressive than the gym at her hotel.

I sighed and gave in, sending Remy back into the rec room with his _brothers_ before slowly making our way towards the school wing. We got to the kitchen and I managed to convince them that it was a good time for an early lunch. You know, beat the insane lunch rush around here, it wasn't entirely a bad idea to be honest. Even though I'd just had breakfast. Whatever, my stalling is the best stalling of all the stalls, okay?

I managed to buy myself a solid 45 minutes, making sandwiches, eating, hand washing the plates, drying them, meticulously putting things back in the cupboards... I'm a responsible house guest you guys. And host, apparently. I was just finishing up putting the plates away when Dr. McCoy walked in for his mid-morning coffee, his face lighting up at the sight of Doug.

"Well now isn't this a pleasant surprise?" He grinned, moving across the kitchen to give Doug a firm handshake, "Douglas! How have you been?"

"Great! We're just in town for the wedding tomorrow."

Hank turned to Betsy and shook her hand with a fangy smile, "And you must be Betsy, Kitty has told us all so much about you."

I'm not really sure who Hank has been talking to, but I haven't told anyone jack shit.

They exchanged pleasantries all politely and then Dr. McCoy turned to me and pressed his lips together pensively, "Kitty there was actually something I wanted to speak with you about regarding the wedding tomorrow. As you know, Rogue and Remy have asked me to officiate the ceremony, which I have prepared, but I'm given to understand we won't be holding a rehearsal tonight. I thought perhaps you could go over my speech and ensure everything is up to snuff."

I blinked at him for a moment, taking in everything he'd just said. I'd actually had no idea he was officiating the wedding. Nobody had told me that, and honestly I'd never even really thought about it until he brought it up just then.

So, kudos to Remy and Rogue for being on the ball there.

"Yeah um... no rehearsal." I nodded. Rogue had been insulted by the idea of a rehearsal dinner, claiming that she knew perfectly well how to eat and she had no need to rehearse for it. She might have missed the point a little, but she's not totally wrong.

"Sure. Just e-mail the ceremony to me and I'll go over it with Rogue ASAP."

"Splendid." Hank smiled, moving over to the coffee pot and adjusting the spectacles on his fuzzy blue nose.

"Alright well, off to the _classrooms_ now?" Doug arched a brow expectantly, clearly having picked up on the very obvious fact that I'd been stalling for the better part of an hour.

"Right." I nodded, "You guys just... start in that direction. Follow the... kids or whatever, you can't miss it. I'll catch up in a bit. There's just something I need to ask Dr. McCoy quickly. Just wedding stuff... you know."

Doug fixed me with an incredibly skeptical look, but rolled his eyes and complied none the less, with his arm around Betsy as they moved through the doorway.

"Is everything alright?" Hank asked as he pulled a mug from the cupboard and started fiddling with the coffee machine.

"Yeah. Uh, everything is fine. I've just... got a medical question for you, I guess." I cleared my throat and shrugged super casually, "You know, for a friend."

He smiled, his eyes still on the coffee machine as he punched some buttons and the thing began hissing to life, "Ask away."

"In your professional opinion, what exactly are the odds of two false positive pregnancy tests?"

He suddenly looked up at me, and I somehow managed to keep my face completely straight and unreadable.

"Asking for a friend." I reiterated.

He reached up and nudged the glasses up his nose, giving his head a shake, "Well, in my professional opinion, the odds are not good."

"Really? Not even like... a bad batch, or something?" I pressed with a frown.

"In the case of a faulty test, I imagine one likely wouldn't receive a result at all." He stated, turning to watch the coffee slowly drip down into the pot, "False positives aren't overly common, but they could possibly be caused from certain medications... I'm sorry Kitty, I'm afraid I'm not overly familiar with the nuances of pregnancy tests."

I chewed my lip and nodded, dropping my eyes down to the counter, "Yeah, me neither."

"I would tell your friend to get a new test and follow the directions to the letter. That would at least eliminate the factor of user error." He said, giving me a little grin, "There's more than one way to pee on a stick."

"Yeah." I frowned thoughtfully, "Follow-up question."

He gave me a silent nod as the coffee pot finally finished brewing and he was able to pour himself a cup.

"Hypothetically if someone were like, barely pregnant... like, didn't even know it yet, and this hypothetical person consumed some alcohol during a small get-together. The... the... _baby_ would be alright, right?"

Hank paused with his mug halfway up to his mouth, his furry blue brow knitting in concern before he remembered himself and schooled his features, clearing his throat with a nod, "Yes, of course. A small amount of alcohol like that shouldn't have any negative effects, but I would definitely strongly suggest your friend abstain from alcohol until she's confirmed the results of the test. After her honeymoon." He winked.

I nodded as casually as I could and said, "Right... I'll let her know. Thank you."

I'm pretty sure Dr. McCoy thinks Rogue is pregnant now, and I don't even care.

I was going to take his advice and get my ass out to the store to get a new test. Immediately.

I'm not a patient person, you guys.

I made a beeline for the garage, grabbing my coat and purse on the way and a set of keys off the wall. I'm not even sure who's keys they were because as soon as I started towards the cars, the door opened and shut behind me and I heard that familiar Cajun drawl.

"Where ya goin'?"

"Out." I snapped.

"Ain't you supposed to be tellin' Pete somethin' right about now...? Where's Doug and the hottie?"

I let out a deep breath soothing and frowned up at him, "I can't tell Pete anything yet. Not when I'm not even totally sure that there's anything to tell. So I'm going to get another test. One of those digital, foolproof ones that have the word written right on it in English."

"Sounds good." Remy nodded, snatching the keys out of my hand and placing them back on the wall.

"What are you _doing_?" I watched him select another set of keys before stepping past me and jerking his head towards a sleek black BMW.

"I'm hiding." He said, unlocking the car and opening the door for me to get into the passenger side. "Rogue is freakin' out about finding her _something blue,_ like suddenly she just realized the wedding is _tomorrow_ , Henri is tryin' to figure out just how healthy Scott's mom was, and Mercy is showin' Alex pictures of me as a kid. I'm gunna lose my mind, minette. I need to get outta here."

I nodded and slid into the car, refusing to even ask who's car it was. I know who's car it is. I didn't need Remy to tell me that we were taking Scott's new "baby", and I pushed away the niggling memory in the back of my mind that the last time I stole Scott's car with his brother, we ended up wrapped around a tree.

And then tortured by a maniac, but I was more focused on the car at this point.

Although I have to hand it to Remy, he drove that car with respect. He obeyed the laws of the road at a nice, leisurely speed, leaning back in the leather seat and one hand casually draped over the top of the steering wheel. I'd like to think it was because he actually cared, but I really think it was just because he was making a concerted effort to take his damn time. The longer the drive, the longer he's out of the crazy house, never mind the fact that I was going crazy in the passenger seat right next to him.

"Holy crap, grandpa. You know there's a minimum speed limit, right?" I sighed, scrubbing my fingertips against my forehead in frustration.

"Maybe I'm just driving slow for you and your _baby_ , hmm?" He shot me a smug little grin through the corner of his eye, "You sure that seat belt isn't too low, wouldn't wanna squish little Remy Jr's head."

"Ugh." I grimaced, "First of all, Remy Jr? What fantasy land are you living in?"

He chuckled.

"Secondly, _if_ there is a baby, it's like, the size of a grain of rice. There is no head. It's just... there." I frowned and turned to look out the window, "And that's a big _IF_."

We were quiet the rest of the drive until he finally pulled into the Walmart about 10 minutes later than I would have arrived if I'd driven myself, and I forced myself to stay calm as I climbed out of the car and walked inside at a totally normal pace with Remy a few strides behind me.

Remy clicked his tongue and gave his head a shake, stuffing his hands into his pockets as he strolled in through the automatic doors, "Last time I was here I got carried out unconscious by a couple of crazy girls. I'm surprised they let us back in this place."

I gave him a strained, tight smile, in absolutely no mood to take a stroll down memory lane. Yeah Gambit, we all remember you worked at Walmart. For like, a month.

Kudos to you.

"You think they got Rogue's _something blue_ here?" He asked as he walked way too slowly behind me all the way to the pharmacy section, "We could take a look, hmm? They sell wedding junk here. Oh, I should pick up some of those travel sized shampoos too. And toothpaste. How much liquids are you allowed to take on a plane, I can't remember?"

I sighed as I looked over the overwhelming selection of contraceptives next to the equally as overwhelming selection of pregnancy tests, "I don't know-"

"What do you mean you don't know, you were just on a plane." He rolled his eyes and I glared up at him.

"I don't _care_ , better? Can we just focus please?"

"Right. Baby test. Got it." He nodded, reaching past me to grab literally the most expensive test on the shelf, "There we go, digital. Look at that, it'll even tell you how long little Remy Jr. has been in there cooking for, see?"

"Please stop referring to it as Remy Jr." I muttered, plucking the box out of his hand and frowning down at it to read the details. "People will start to get the wrong idea."

Remy scoffed, "You say that like it's a bad thing."

"You're an idiot." I stated, pressing my lips together into a frown and starting back towards the front of the store. We got to the checkout with my one lame item on the belt, and I started feeling super self conscious. Like I was suddenly a statistic. Like I was suddenly 16 and Pregnant or something. So I grabbed a pack of gum and a magazine and tossed them onto the belt on top of the test, because that would totally distract the cash girl from my pregnancy test.

She smiled politely as she began ringing us through, and Remy dumped a handful of mini shampoos and conditioners onto the belt on top of my things. He wrapped an arm around me and smiled back at the girl, and then glanced down at me,

"You got this for me, hmm?"

Like I had a choice.

He looked back up at the sales girl and grinned, "Travel sized shampoo. Good for the plane."

She smiled politely and nodded, scanning his shampoos and then dropping them into the bag.

"I need 'em for the honeymoon. Gettin' married tomorrow." He added casually with a shrug.

"Oh!" The girl's smile widened as she scanned my pregnancy test, a little twinkle in her eye as she looked back at me, "Congratulations!"

"Oh, I'm not marrying _her_." Remy clarified casually, and the girl clamped her mouth shut, going about the rest of the transaction in silence.

Once I'd paid and gotten out of the checkout area I gave my eyes a roll and relented, "Alright, that was pretty funny."

"See?" He grinned, giving me a little nudge towards the exit.

"No way, I'm doing this _now_." I announced, sidestepping him and moving towards the bathroom located next to the in-store McDonalds. "You drive way too slowly, I can't stand the anticipation."

"Pregnancy test in a Walmart." He nodded as I stuffed the bag into his arms and pulled the test out, "How very redneck of you."

"Just wait right here." I instructed before stepping into the large bathroom for families and wheelchairs, or families _in_ wheelchairs, and then closed the door behind me. I tore into the box and pulled out the instructions, ignoring the way my hands shook as I tried to rip the wrapper open with my teeth.

" _Are you done yet?_ " Remy called out from the other side of the door, " _What does it say?_ "

"I'm not done yet!" I called back, finally managing to rip the wrapper open and pull the long slender test out. My hands were still shaking as I went over the instructions one more time, just like Dr. McCoy suggested, and then let out a deep, soothing breath.

" _How 'bout now?_ "

"No! Geeze! Give a girl a minute, would you?!"

 _"It ain't that hard, minette!_ " He called back, and then after a moment of silence he added, " _Need a hand?_ "

"I can't pee with you yelling at me, Remy!"

" _Alright fine. She's gettin' stage fright._ " I heard him grumbling to himself.

I did my thing and then set the test face down on the sink while I washed my hands, letting out another calming breath and steeling myself mentally, before reaching out and flipping the test over in my hand.

And there it was.

Plain as day.

A little _3+_ underneath the word _Pregnant_.

" _Well? Is it done yet?_ " Remy called through the door as I stared down in disbelief at the stick in my hand.

"Yes." I managed to call back, my voice cracking a little bit. "It's positive."

He was silent for a beat before finally saying, " _...Positive like_ good news _, or...? Are you sure, Kitty? Are you readin' it right?"_

"I know how to _read_ Gambit." I snipped back.

 _"I'm comin' in. I don't want to have to come back again for another test because you can't figure it out._ " He announced before somehow popping the lock on the door with zero effort and pushing through into the bathroom. He closed the door behind him and then crossed the small room to pluck the test out of my hand, frowning at it for a moment in complete silence.

"What the f*** is the three plus? Does that mean you got three plus babies in there?! _Damn_ Pete..."

"No. I'm not a dog, Remy. It's the weeks. Three plus _weeks_."

He hummed as he continued to look at the test before smiling brightly, "Hey, look at that! The test is blue!" He realized happily for some reason, holding the test up for me to see as if I needed to see. "Rogue's _something blue_ , done. Nailed it. You're welcome Rogue. Best husband ever."

I didn't even have it in me to laugh.

I was numb to laughter. I was numb to everything.

I was going to have to tell Piotr.

Because Piotr doesn't know.


	19. Gone Rogue

**_A/N- I'm not sure how it happened, but I somehow managed to finish this chapter last night. After working on it for weeks. A sentence at a time. Anyway, it happened, and I'm not questioning it. I'm happy to be able to post it for you! Please review, because I need the motivation of your adoration to keep me going! It's getting to the hard stuff!_**

* * *

The following does not reflect the views or opinions of Marvel or the author known as 'Kinetically Charmed'.

 **Entry number nineteen:**

Rogue is gone.

Today is the wedding day, and Rogue was nowhere.

I woke up bright and early and rolled out of bed, making a mental list of all the things I had to do for the day. The first on my immediate list was to pick the dresses up when the shop opened at 9, giving me an hour and a half to get showered and dressed and eat some breakfast.

I decided to stop in on my way downstairs and make sure that Rogue was awake, because with our luck today would be the day that she shuts her alarm off and sleeps in until noon. I could just imagine. However when I got to her room, I found the exact opposite. She wasn't there, and there was literally no sign of her anywhere. I gave Remy a quick, unassuming call to see if she'd spent the night at the hotel with him, but nope. Not there either.

I asked around the mansion, and literally nobody had seen her, and then I went to Xavier to see if he could find her on Cerebro, which was completely pointless, because I seriously doubt Rogue would be wandering around town using her powers left and right on this of all days.

So by 8, it was very apparent that Rogue was missing. The bride was MIA ya'll.

So much for that stress leave, right?

I called an emergency meeting, sending out a 911 text to the wedding party, as well as Doug, Betsy, and Wisdom, and begged them all to meet me in the rec room ASAFP. I figured if my team is in town, I'm going to use them, they have professional people tracking skills after all. Granted, we're usually hunting down terrorists and fugitives, but I'm sure the skills will transfer.

Within 15 minutes, I had Kurt, Scott, Piotr, Doug as well as Betsy and Wisdom, all in the rec room, most looking slightly irritated with my vague pleading text.

And that's when I launched right into it.

"Rogue is missing."

"Missing?!" Kurt's eyes widened to the size of dinner plates as he gaped at me, "What do you mean _missing_?!"

"I can't find her anywhere. I've looked. I've looked all over the mansion-"

"Did you call her cell?" Scott interrupted with a serious frown.

"Oh, gee no, Scott. I managed to look _under_ the cars in the garage, but I forgot to call her cell phone!" I snipped back sarcastically.

" _Under_ the cars?" Betsy asked with a little amused arched eyebrow.

"Yeah, we get it. I speak in hyperbole's. Can we all just focus here?! Rogue is _missing_!"

"You don't think she got cold feet, do you?" Doug asked carefully.

"I don't know, I just know that we need to find her, and if need be, talk some sense into her." I said as I began pacing back and forth in front of the fireplace and anxiously raking my fingers through my hair.

"Alright, Pryde. Just calm down." Wisdom said as soothingly as he could, "She can't have gotten far-"

"If she has been missing all night then she absolutely could have." Piotr interrupted with a frown.

Wisdom rolled his eyes, "How quaint, the phys. ed teacher is going to tell me how to do my job."

" _Stop it!_ " I barked, nipping that male ego argument in the bud. "We don't have time for this! The wedding _starts_ in less than 6 hours, which means we've got like, 4 hours _tops_. I'll put Jean in charge of the flowers and the decorating if need be, but that'll still only give us an hour and a half to get ready and get down to the church on time.

"Kurt, you go with Doug and Betsy in their rental. I want you three to scour the downtown area. You know all the places Rogue goes, you know her best. You won the candle."

Kurt gave me a nod of affirmation and I turned to Betsy, "Betsy, I want you on foot. Check bars, record stores... Hot Topic, I don't know, just _inside_. Rogue is incredibly distinctive looking, people will know who you're talking about."

"Skunk head. Got it." Betsy agreed. I gave them a quick rundown on the make and model of her car and then the three of them left with their mission.

"Wisdom, you've got your contact at the airport-"

"One step ahead of you Pryde." He said with his phone out, tapping away at the screen with his brow knit in concentration, "I assume she's got a fake ID?"

"Yes, but no passport. Her fake ID is under the name _Rogue Keaton._ " She's not super original guys, we can't hold that against her. I turned to Scott and pressed my lips into a frown, "You need to go the hotel, and keep Remy busy."

Remy spent the night in the Honeymoon Suite because they'd rented it for two days so they could use it as a staging area before the wedding and reception. Of course Remy refused to let a $200 per night room go to waste, and also the Honeymoon Suite has a King sized bed and a frickin' Jacuzzi.

"... Seriously?" Scott frowned at me from behind his glasses, "I mean... don't you think he's going to be busy enough?"

"I need someone there with him, I don't want him to find out that I lost Rogue. Also, we need someone on Remy in case she shows up there" I explained briefly without taking a breath. I turned to Pete and continued, "Pete, Wisdom and I are coming with you in your car, we're going to canvas the outskirts and check in the next town over. They have a train station. And they have the IHOP... you know." I trailed off and shrugged, because Pete knew. _The_ IHOP. "I'm going to keep trying to access the GPS on her phone, but to be honest I don't even know if she's got it _with_ her."

Scott glanced at Piotr with a hopeful little look, "Maybe Pete and I could switch places. Pete knows Gambit better-"

"He's your brother, dammit. He's your responsibility." I cut him off harshly, shutting that argument down in its tracks.

Scott's frown deepened again as he stared at me for a moment, but wisely decided against arguing. "He's been my brother for like, five minutes..." He grumbled under his breath as he stalked away to perform his given task.

"Okay this is good, we've got a system, this will work. I'll keep trying to call her phone too." I nodded to myself reassuringly, as I led the charge out the door and continued to talk to no one in particular until we were standing next to Pete's Tahoe.

"I'll drive." Wisdom stated, holding his hand expectantly, waiting for the keys.

Piotr looked down at Pete's hand and then let out a little chuckle, "No. You won't."

"Oh my God, seriously?!" I gave Wisdom a swat and then shoved him towards the passenger side before wordlessly climbing into the back seat. It wasn't until I was all buckled up in the middle seat, leaning forward for a better view out the front window as Pete started the SUV that it really, fully hit me, what a completely awful choice I'd made.

I mean, tactically speaking, it made sense. They were good teams, on paper.

Apparently work Kitty is a robot, like Scott.

Because I was suddenly struck with the horror of the reality that I'd paired myself up with my ex boyfriend, and the father of my unborn child.

And let's all not forget that Piotr doesn't know.

I really need to find a good time to pull him aside and have a talk, which probably won't be easy considering the fact that I've been avoiding him since Thursday. You know, when I thought he said the L word, when in fact, he did not.

I have some major issues, you guys.

Anyway, I was focused on the road, and not at all on the sudden wave of discomfort that overcame me with the realization of the situation I'd put myself in, and _absolutely_ not at all on the budding sense of nausea I was getting from sitting in the back seat.

Wisdom dropped his cell phone into the breast pocket of his suit jacket and turned to glance at me, "Airport was clean. I had my guy run a check on the security cameras when I remembered Rogue's hair, no sign of her there."

"Good." I nodded, still not focused on the nausea. "We'll head to the IHOP first. Rogue loves their pecan syrup."

"So, aside from current circumstances, how has the vacation been treating you?" He asked with a little grin tugging at the corner of his mouth, "Stress free?"

I gave my eyes a roll but kept my mouth shut. Nobody thought it would a good idea to come home for stress leave. Nobody.

"Well if it's any consolation, you _look_ great." He commented, turning his attention back to the road as we sped down the freeway, "Of course, you always look great, doesn't she always look great _Pete_?"

Piotr's jaw ticked and he glared at Wisdom through the corner of his eye.

"I've got to admit you had me all excited when you texted me _I need you here_ _now_ , it's been such a long time since you've "needed" me, I was pretty disappointed when I saw everyone-"

"Stop it." I interrupted him with a frown, noticing the way Piotr's knuckles turned white as he gripped the steering wheel.

"Ah, I'm just teasing, Petal." He waved me off and was silent for a few beats before turning back to me with a mischievous grin, "Remember that time you _needed me_ in the elevator of the hotel in Barcelona?"

My cheeks flared bright red and I gave him a punch on the shoulder from behind, which he pretended hurt far more than it actually would have, rubbing his shoulder with an exaggerated pained wince.

"Just..." I shot out a breath and turned to Piotr, and pressed my lips into an embarrassed frown, "Ignore him."

"I usually try to." Piotr worked the muscles in his jaw for a few seconds before he glanced at me through the mirror, muttering, "Although if you would have sent me to distract Remy instead of Scott, I would not _have_ to..."

"Scott doesn't know Rogue as well as you do." I countered, feeling a little defensive.

"Plus, you Russians are world renowned for your driving abilities." Wisdom added sarcastically.

We've all seen the Russian dashcam videos on YouTube.

"I wonder how good you are at _walking_." Piotr commented without taking his eyes off the road.

"At least then I would arrive in one piece." Pete muttered, turning to look out the window with a frown.

Yep. Great team on paper, not so much in action.

Thankfully, by some small miracle, we managed to get to the IHOP without murdering one another. We pulled into the parking lot and parked the Tahoe, and I leapt out of the SUV before the engine was cut with the two Pete's not far behind me. I hurried across the parking lot huddled down in my coat, praying I didn't do something stupid like slip on a patch of ice, and burst through the doors of the mostly empty IHOP. A quick glance around the restaurant made it pretty clear that Rogue wasn't there, so we flashed the girl at the register a photo of Rogue and asked if she'd at least been there at some point.

Of course, this was a complete dead end.

I mean, I knew the IHOP was a long shot. Of course I did. But I was really running out of options, and I could feel the panic begin to seep into my veins as I tried to mentally go over any other possible location she might be hiding.

"I'm gunna try to call her again." I insisted with a nod, trying my damnedest to keep the panic out of my tone.

"Katya..."

"What?" I snapped, not even bothering to look up from my phone.

He rubbed a hand over his face and shook his head, "Maybe we should just go back and wait for her-"

" _No_ , I can't just wait-"

"What if she does not want to be _found_?" Piotr interrupted with a frown, "If she was scared enough to run, then maybe she does not want to get married."

"I hate to admit it, Pryde, but he's got a point." Wisdom agreed with a reluctant nod, "I'm not much for the institution of marriage, myself, but I feel like dragging the bride down the aisle brings it to a whole new low."

"She would have a hell of a time trying to drag Rogue." Piotr scoffed at the thought and crossed his arms, "She would not go without a fight."

"That's true." Wisdom nodded thoughtfully, "I think Pryde could take her, but forcing her to sign the license would be interesting-"

"What the f***?!" I shouted, earning me glares from the few restaurant patrons trying to enjoy their breakfast. "What is wrong with you two?! Rogue wants to get married, she just doesn't want a _wedding_. I refuse to let her throw her entire relationship away just because of one stupid mistake!"

"Katya-"

"No! I don't want to hear it! I need to find her, and I need to fix this before Gambit finds out!" I could hear the panic in my own voice and I immediately tried remembering the breathing techniques my stupid holistic non-doctor taught me for calming down, "I'm the worst friend in the world, I lost my best friend. I literally lost her. I can't find her anywhere. What sort of best friend doesn't know where her best friend would be hiding?!" I continued trying the breathing techniques which were completely useless, by the way. In through the nose, out through the mouth. "Why wouldn't she have talked to me?! She should have just _talked_ to me! We shouldn't keep secrets from each other! Secrets are _bad_! _Secrets, secrets, are no fun. Secrets, secrets hurt someone_."

"Christ, she's gone completely mad. I knew it was only a matter of time, but..." Wisdom trailed off, and Piotr shot him a frown as I continued to try my breathing techniques, sitting sideways at a booth with my head between my knees. He moved over and crouched down to get a better look at me, pursing his lips as he tried to think of what to say.

"Look, Pryde, just... chin up. It's not as if it's _your_ wedding, right?"

I lifted my head just enough to glare at him over my knee and he quirked the corner of his lips up into a little smirk, "She doesn't _need_ to get married immediately. It isn't as if she's... I don't even know why anyone would need to get married... It's not as if she'll be _deported_. Yeah?"

I continued my slow breathing, in through the nose, out through the mouth, and dropped my head back between my knees.

"I honestly can't think of any other reason why someone would _need_ to get married." He shook his head, still apparently trying to help and then he chuckled, "It's not as if she's up the duff."

Pregnant. That means pregnant. His stupid joke definitely did not help, in the least. In fact, it made things worse. It made me remember that I am _up the duff_. It made me realize that keeping this secret from Piotr was literally killing me, slowly. I couldn't handle the stress of the wedding and the stress of this secret, something had to give.

I sat up and ran a hand through my hair with another deep breath, "I need to talk to Pete."

Wisdom glanced back at Piotr over his shoulder and gave him a nod before pushing himself back up, "Good luck, mate. I'm goin' out for a quick cig."

Piotr stood still for a moment after Wisdom had left, eyeing me curiously, before moving to sit down in the booth across from me, folding his hands on the table in front of him. "What is going on, Katya?"

I let out a deep breath, looking into his expectant eyes as he raised a brow, patiently waiting for me to speak.

Of course he would notice a difference in me, I've been crazy. More crazy than normal. Crazy like a fox.

"I'm pregnant."

Piotr blinked at me in surprise and then snorted, "Yeah, okay." He chuckled and gave his head a shake, "You don't want to talk about it, I get it."

"No, Pete." I pursed my lips and swallowed hard, holding his stare seriously, "I'm not joking. I'm pregnant."

He stared at me as he started to process my words, the smile suddenly disappearing off his face when he realized that this wasn't my humour defense mechanism speaking. "...Oh." He breathed.

"I shouldn't- I should have told you sooner. I mean, I just found out. The other night. The night I was crazy."

Piotr's mouth finally closed and his eyes glazed over a little bit as he nodded quietly.

"I didn't want to spring it on you like this, I wanted to wait until after the wedding. Everything was going to be fine, I was just going to focus on the wedding, you know? Just... get through this one day at a time, and then... Rogue is missing, and I can't... I can't handle-" I sucked in a breath through my nose, and let it out slowly through my pursed lips, "I just needed you to know, Pete."

He nodded again and was silent for a bit, his eyes unfocused on the table between us before he blinked a few times and swallowed, "When did... how- how long..?"

"The test said three plus weeks." I answered, filling in the gaps of his stilted question, "So that would make me... five... ish weeks, maybe more-"

"Costco."

"... _Around_ then, I guess."

I mean, we were basically doing it like rabbits, it's kind of hard to narrow it down to one event.

Also _Valentines day baby_ sounds way better than _Costco baby_ , but I wasn't about to nitpick while he was processing.

He went quiet again for another minute before saying, "Your hips are so small..."

I didn't really know what to say in response to that, so I just nodded quietly, because yes, I'm aware.

And then Wisdom pushed through the restaurant door, bringing a burst of icy cold air in with him. He shivered and rubbed his hands over his overcoat sleeves vigorously as he strode his way over to where we sat.

"It's colder than a penguin's chuff out there." He announced, rather loudly, nudging me over to slide into the booth next to me, "It's alright, I'm tryin' to quit anyway."

Wisdom is _always_ trying to quit.

"We need to get back on track. Think of where else we can look for Rogue." I said firmly with a resolute nod.

"Listen Petal," Wisdom said, stretching his arm along the back of the booth behind me, "I hate to be the one to have to say this, but we're not going to find her around here. She's probably gone to the city."

I pressed my lips into a thin line and frowned, because obviously the thought had crossed my mind.

"The only way we'll find her there love, is if she's gotten herself a hotel room. And unless you're prepared to call every single hotel in the city that never sleeps-"

"No." I shook my head firmly, "Rogue hates hotels. She wouldn't stay in one unless she were desperate." I looked to Piotr to back me up on this statement, but he was still firmly in a state of shock with his eyes glazed over, clearly not listening to anything anyone else was saying.

"I think running away on your wedding day is pretty desperate." Wisdom snorted and I shook my head some more.

"She would sleep in her car before she'd sleep in a hotel. That's why she didn't spend the night at the honeymoon suite with Remy, she likes _her own_ bed." I explained, uttering a little sniff to add, "Well, her own bed and Remy's bed. And the one at Remy's-"

 _Light bulb_.

"Oh my gosh. I know where she is." I breathed, jumping to my feet, through the table, and marching towards the door. "She's at Remy's bachelor pad!"

" _Bachelor_ pad?" Wisdom asked as he fell in step behind me without missing a beat.

"Well, it used to be a bachelor pad, now I guess it's used for storage more than anything-" I stopped talking halfway through the restaurant door and glanced back at the booth where Piotr was still seated, staring blankly at the table. I doubled back and took his hand, tugging him to his feet when he finally seemed to snap back into it, allowing me to pull him out the door.

"I didn't think of it before because they never even use the place anymore. I think Beast keeps his old golf clubs there, and Professor Xavier maybe stores more boxes of his old clothes or something..." I came to a stop next to the car and looked up at Wisdom with a smile, "I _am_ the best friend ever."

"You drive." Piotr said, stuffing the keys into Wisdom's hand, moving around to climb into the passenger side.

"What the f*** is wrong with him?" Wisdom turned back to me with a frown, "What did you _do_ to him in there? He's acting like you drank the last of his breakfast vodka."

"I didn't do anything." I grumbled as I slid into the back seat. "Just shut up and drive."

Thankfully, he did just that, and within 10 minutes we were pulling into Remy's condo parking lot, with a few helpful directions from me. Really though, I have to ask why Pete would give the keys to Wisdom and not me.

This did not bode well for his frame of mind.

Anyway, we made our way up to the 5th floor and down the hall to Remy's door, which was totally not even locked. I twisted the knob, all prepared to fight Rogue and wrestle her tooth and nail down to the Tahoe, but she was just there. Just sitting there. Blinking at the three of us in complete confusion from her seat on the lip couch with the TV on and a donut halfway up to her mouth.

"Uh... G'morning?"

"Don't you good morning me, young lady." I wagged a finger at her as I marched into the slightly cluttered bachelor pad, "What were you _thinking_?!"

Rogue's mouth opened and she glanced down at the donut, "It's just a f***ing donut, Kitty-"

"I'm not talking about the donut Rogue, I'm talking about you _vanishing_! We've been looking for you all morning! I have a whole team of people out looking for you!"

Rogue smirked at me skeptically and took a big bite of her Boston Creme donut, muffling out, " _Team_?"

"... It's a small team."

She looked past me to where Wisdom and Piotr were closing the door and coming to join us in the living room, "And she put you two together?" She snorted, stuffing another bite of donut into her mouth like the perfectly refined lady she is, "Idiot."

"Well we found you, didn't we love?" Wisdom replied with that easy smile of his before looking down into the box of donuts on the coffee table and grabbing something dipped in chocolate.

Rogue rolled her eyes and licked some donut off her finger, "I didn't need to be _found_ -"

"How could you do this to Remy?! I am _outraged_ , Rogue!" I asked, wildly throwing my hands in the air before turning to Piotr for backup, "We _all_ are!"

"Sure. Outraged." Piotr agreed with me with zero enthusiasm as he sat down on the lip couch and ran a hand over his face.

I mean, I don't really know why I expected him to back me up, all things considered, but he could have at least tried to not _act_ like the world was falling apart. He did lighten up a little bit after he picked a donut though.

"Would you relax? I wasn't pulling a Julia Roberts." Rogue rolled her eyes at me again and crossed her arms over her chest. I was actually incredibly proud of the fact that she nailed that reference, _and_ got the actresses name right, and if the stakes weren't so high I probably would have said something. But I didn't. "I can't believe you'd think I would run away."

I gave her a flat look which she ignored.

"I couldn't fall asleep last night. I just kept thinking about the stupid wedding. I was reading something online about making a wedding emergency kit, with like, spare buttons, and a needle and thread, and safety pins. And bobby pins, I don't have any bobby pins. I mean, I know I'm wearing my hair down anyway, but still. Also, apparently those little alcohol wipes are good for taking stains off of a wedding dress, so that's good to know. And as I was trying to remember if we had any of those little acohol wipes in our Danger Room first aid kit, it hit me; I didn't even get you a bridesmaid present. Seein' as how it was the middle of the night, and everything in town would be closed up, I figured the most logical solution would be to drive into the city and check there."

"You... got me a present?" I swear my ears perked up at the very mention of the p word, like a puppy.

Rogue nodded and continued, "Of course, it wasn't until I got there that I realized that just because things are open in the middle of the night didn't mean _everything_ was open, and that's how I ended up at a pawn shop at 3 in the morning." Her eyes lit up with excitement as she held up a finger to stop me from interrupting her, "So imagine my complete and utter surprise when I actually found literally _the perfect gift_."

I blinked at her and arched a brow, "At a pawn shop."

"I mean, it ain't like there was a huge selection or anything, but I swear, the second I saw it, I heard a chorus of angels singing. It was _kismet_." She moved across the room with that giddy little smile still in place, coming to a stop next to a large, lumpy looking object beneath a midnight blue flat sheet, before dramatically tugging the sheet free with a proud little "Ta da!" revealing a baby blue bike with a banana seat and a brown wicker basket.

I stared at it, and then I stared at her.

"It's... a bike."

"Perfect right?!" She asked gleefully, taking another large bite of her donut, "It's so blue and super cute! And it has a basket for like, work stuff... you could put like, paperwork, or your _gun_ in there..."

I looked back at the bike with the peeling blue paint and the crooked little basket and blinked as I tried to process what was happening.

"Such a practical gift." Wisdom observed from the lip couch, "And so easy to travel with on an airplane."

Piotr snorted, and I glanced back a the two of them with a frown before turning back to Rogue, "It's... _super cute_."

"Right!?" Rogue said excitedly, "It reminded me of you! I saw it and was just like _yes_."

"Oddly, not the first time she's been compared to a bicycle." Wisdom smirked, shooting Piotr a wink before taking another big bite of donut.

"Don't wink at me." Piotr muttered.

Rogue arched a brow at me, but otherwise didn't say anything, thankfully.

"Anyway, I picked up the donuts on my way back into Bayville. Breakfast." She explained, "And Remy's old bachelor pad was closer than the mansion, plus, peace and quiet." She flipped a hand before moving back to the lip couch and flopping down next to Piotr, kicking her feet up on the table. "I'm on a f***in' roll. Bridesmaid gift; crushed it. Breakfast; crushed it. Next up, gettin' hitched."

"Yeah it's... perfect. You crushed it." I nodded, "I've always wanted a bike... to take on a plane..."

"I tried looking for one of those big bows people put on cars, but hell if I could find one." Rogue commented before stuffing the rest of her donut in her mouth.

"Didn't have one of those at the pawn shop, hmm?" Wisdom remarked with a little smirk.

Rogue gave him a level look and then knit her brow, "What the hell are you even doing here? I don't remember inviting you to my wedding."

"I'm her plus one." He shrugged, jerking a thumb towards me casually, "And I like weddings."

"You like weddings." Rogue repeated flatly.

Wisdom shrugged again, "I'll write the flight off as a business expense."

"This is why your boss hates you." I commented, peeling my eyes away from the "adorable" blue bike which apparently held my essence, and glanced back at Wisdom.

"One of many reasons, yes." He quipped back with a grin.

"I need to talk to Kitty." Piotr announced abruptly, completely out of the blue. Rogue had been reaching for another donut and froze with her arm extended and hand halfway to the box, turning to give Pete a confused look. Her eyes flicked back to me and took in the look of mild panic on my face, and I cleared my throat.

"Um... Right now?"

"Yes. Now."

I turned back to Rogue who gave me a nod and slapped her knees.

"Right. Well, Union Jack, you like weddings so much, how 'bout I give you a backstage tour?" She asked, pushing herself to her feet. "C'mon, you can help me pick up the flowers."

Wisdom glanced back at me before letting out a sigh of defeat, "I like wedding _receptions_." He said, grabbing up the box of donuts to follow Rogue to the door, "I should have been more specific."

"Don't forget to lock up." Rogue reminded me helpfully before closing the door behind her, leaving the apartment in a thick, awkward silence.

I moved to sit down next to Piotr on the lip couch and turned my body to face him, tucking a leg underneath myself as I patiently waited for him to say something, which was _not_ easy for me, just sayin'.

He stared pensively at the glass coffee table, "Alright." He began after what felt like an eternity, "I have some money set aside. It is not much, but it should be more than enough for a good down payment on a house. We will have to find a place close enough to Xavier's so I can commute to the school, but once we have found somewhere, you will move back here. We should have enough time, as long as we begin looking right away. I will also need to look at getting a new car, maybe a van. My SUV is too old, I do not think it's safe enough for-"

"Woah... pump those breaks. Back up a second." I interrupted him, with a head shake, " _I will move back here_?"

"Of course." He answered, finally looking up at me as if this were completely obvious. "You are going to raise a baby by yourself in London?"

"I _could_!" I retorted, suddenly feeling defensive. "Why would you just assume that I'd move back?!"

"Because you are pregnant with my child." Was his clipped reply.

"So, I just have to rearrange every single aspect of _my_ life? Quit my job, leave my home, move across the world, just because I'm pregnant?!"

Piotr worked the muscles in his jaw in that way that tells me that he's struggling to reign in his temper and shot out a breath through his nostrils, "And you would be okay with just going back to England like everything is fine."

"Well, it's my body, and I'm taking _my body_ back to England!"

"It is my sperm, I think I get a say too." He snapped back. "You can't just take my sperm back to England."

"If I could give you back your sperm, I would!" I barked, "But I can't, now can I?! Because it's... fertilized its way into my... uterus." I let out a frustrated breath, sensing that I was getting carried away with the sperm, "Look, this is _my_ decision, and I don't care what you say, I refuse to turn my life upside down just to better accommodate you!"

The frown dropped off his face as he silently stared at me before looking away and giving his head a shake, "Right. How selfish of me to assume you would want to raise our child _with_ me. So when you said you wanted to try a real relationship again, you just meant until it was no longer convenient for you."

I swallowed thickly, "That is _not_ fair."

"No, it's not, is it." He stood himself up from the lip couch and squared his jaw, "We have a busy day. We need to get back."

He moved across the living room towards the door, and that was that. There was an unspoken agreement that we would put this issue on the back burner and at least try to act civil for the day.

We'll see how that goes.


	20. The Wedding Part

A/N- Ugh, you guys.

I'm so sorry it's been so long. Life happened. And even now as I type this out, I'm so tired I can barely keep my eyelids open, because life.  
So needless to say, the next chapter will likely be a few extra weeks as well, but rest assured, it will be up, probably before 2017 is over. Probably. No promises though ya'll. Christmas is a busy time.

Anyway, I truly appreciate everyone's reviews and I hope you all enjoy the crap out of this chapter that was such a long time coming. And as usual, special thanks to Lizzie for you know, whatever it is that she does that keeps me going. I don't even know. I'm pretty sure she's a wizard.

The following does not reflect the views or opinions of Marvel or the author known as 'Kinetically Charmed'.

 **Entry number twenty:**

So Pete is definitely not talking to me.

Which is fine, because not talking means not fighting.

We conversed long enough for me to make sure he had the rings, and that he had everything he needed to get ready, before he left with his suit to get ready with Henri and Remy, and that conversation did not involve embryos at all.

After that, Rogue and I went to get our hair done, and I definitely made sure to grab an extra handful of bobby pins. You know, whatever the bride wants, the bride gets. Don't ask questions. Even though her hair is down. I mean, her veil was held in place with bobby pins, so maybe she was onto something after all.

Also, even with just her veil on and her makeup done, she looked freakin' gorgeous. She didn't even need the dress, she already looked amazing, and I already wanted to cry.

Today is going to be rough, guys.

When we got back from the hair and makeup thing, I managed to squeeze my fat ass into a pair of Spanx, before tugging on my low-back dress, which somehow managed to work together without showing off my fat-camouflaging undergarments. Miracles _do_ happen.

Anyway, once I was in my dress, Kurt and I headed off to Rogue's room to wait for her to get her dress on. Which she absolutely insisted she did not need help with. So I plopped down on her bed while Kurt paced around back and forth, because he refused to sit down and wrinkle his suit.

And then finally, she pulled the bathroom door open with one hand holding up the bodice of her gown and a frown creasing her brow, "Alright, I give. I can't do this goddamn thing up by myself."

Kurt stopped his pacing, his mouth dropping open as he gaped at her silently for a long moment.

"Oh for shit's sake. Are you _cryin_ '?" Rogue sighed, her shoulders dropping with an eye roll.

"I'm not crying. It's allergies. Someone's cutting onions." He sniffled with a frown, discreetly swiping at his eyes, " _You're_ crying."

I jumped to my feet and hurried across the room to help Rogue with the back of her dress, lacing it up as quickly as I could even though I was definitely getting a little misty-eyed myself.

And then she turned around with the brightest smile I've ever seen her wear as she fluffed her veil a little bit, "There."

"There." I nodded with a muffled little sob in the back of my throat before frowning and turning back to Kurt, "Damn onions..."

"Seriously, you guys _gotta_ pull it together. It's just a dress, alright?" She said firmly, as she scooped up a handful of bobby pins to stuff into the pockets of her gown. "I mean, I get it. I know I look phenomenal. But everyone's gunna be lookin' at Remy anyway. It's _his_ big day, after all."

I sniffled and nodded some more, sensing that she was trying to deflect a little, and I wasn't about to be the one to stop her, so I helped her push her hair aside and fasten her pretty little diamond necklace that sat perfectly on her collarbone, because she's perfect and she looked perfect and I want to cry again even thinking about it.

"Shouldn't there be a photographer here taking pictures of you getting ready?" Kurt asked as he watched me help her arrange her hair and veil again, his face pulling down into a frown, "Isn't that a _bride_ thing?"

"Hell no, I don't want no creep photographer in here takin' pictures of me gettin' dressed, like a sex offender." Rogue sniffed and turned to the mirror for one last once over, and then that's when the wedding hit its first snag.

The bedroom door swung open, and in walked Mystique, in all her blue glory, wearing a wide grin and a white body con dress, which was absolutely not appropriate for _anyone_ to wear to a wedding, let alone a 50 year old "mother" of the bride. She had some type of fur draped loosely around her arms, like some extra twisted looking Cruella DeVille, and a freakin' _tiara_ on her head.

"Mother's here, darling."

All three of us were completely speechless. I mean, really.

 _Really_.

We just stood there with our jaws on the floor as Mystique pulled the fox fur shawl off and tossed it onto the bed casually, "You seem shocked to see me. You _had_ to know I was going to come, you're my daughter-"

"Nope, nu uh. Not your daughter." Rogue interrupted, finally finding her voice and picking her jaw up off the floor, "How did you even get _in_ here?!"

She dropped her head to the side derisively before shape shifting into Logan and saying, "It wasn't hard, dear." Much to our collective horror. She shifted back into herself, which was only slightly less horrifying and tossed a hand in the air, "Your security has always been atrocious."

Rogue shot out a breath and steeled herself, balling her hands into fists at her sides, "You weren't _invited_."

Mystique's eyebrows pinched and she clicked her tongue, closing the gap between her and Rogue with a few steps to reach out and smooth Rogue's veil between her fingers, "This is my _only chance_ to see my child get married. I wouldn't miss that."

"Um, hello?" Kurt's eyes grew wide and he uttered an offended little scoff, "I'm _right here_."

Mystique glanced back over her shoulder at Kurt, a smirk tugging at the corner of her mouth when she turned back to Rogue and I with an amused little eye roll, "Sure. That'll happen." And then she gave us a wink, as if we were somehow in on the joke.

"You need to leave." Kurt demanded, not even bothering to let Mystique's insult really sink in, "You can't be here. Rogue doesn't want you here-"

"I'm not going to _leave_!" Mystique protested smiling at Rogue like a proud mother, which was... it was trippy, guys. "Who would she have walk her down the aisle, her _father_?" She snorted and rolled her eyes, and I could see the fury silently beginning to build up inside of Rogue, "Logan? The Professor certainly couldn't do it, that's for sure."

Wheelchair humour. Always keepin' it classy.

" _Nobody_ is walkin' me down the aisle. Ain't nobody givin' me away but myself, like hell I'm givin' _you_ that privilege." Rogue snapped finally, swatting Mystique's blue hand away from her veil, "And for chrissake put a different dress on. You can't wear white to a _wedding_."

"I always wear white on special occasions." She shrugged, and Rogue narrowed her eyes. "It goes well with my skin tone."

"Do you always wear a f***ing tiara?"

"Oh please dear, nobody is going to notice my hair pin when you're up there looking so beautiful." Mystique waved Rogue off and then pursed her lips, "Although, are you _sure_ you should be going with sleeveless? Even just something to help... cover the arm area a little bit. It's not your fault, it's that... Southern body type."

I puffed out a breath and stepped forward, "Alright, it's time for you to go now. You're pissing the bride off and it's my job to run interference."

"Right, Kiki. Well fine then. I suppose I'll just have to see my own _daughter_ after the ceremony." She sighed and shook her head as she scooped up her furs, "Although why you invited _Erik_ and not your own mother, I'll never fully understand..."

"Not my mother." Rogue repeated, "And I didn't invite Magneto."

"Oh." Mystique paused halfway through the door, a smile dancing across her lips as she turned back, "I guess _I_ must have then! Oops!" She tipped her head back and cackled to herself as she slipped through the doorway and disappeared down the hall.

Rogue squeezed her eyes shut and tried the calming breaths I'd taught her, even though her jaw was angrily clenched and her hands were still balled tightly into fists as if she were ready to punch. The point of the calming breaths is to _unclench_.

"Who cares if Magneto is there?" I said to Rogue carefully, "It's not even a big deal. And Mystique is nothing, we'll make sure of that, right Kurt?"

Kurt frowned at me, "She almost _kissed_ Magneto."

"Not helping."

"I did not almost kiss Magneto. I almost kissed _Joseph_. It's completely different." Rogue barked, and I was definitely not going to pull at that thread today. It's not completely different Rogue. It's _not_. "Besides, that isn't the issue. The issue is that Remy is not going to want Magneto there. His evil, former boss, _remember_?"

"Sure, plus you almost kissed him." Kurt repeated, as if we needed reminding.

She sneered at him, but maturely chose to drop the topic rather than further argue her point, because she knew he was right.

We took a few minutes to finish preening before deciding to hit the road early. I mean, it's not as if they could start the thing without us, Rogue is kind of feature player in today's events, but Kurt is an incredibly nervous driver, and if we're running late he might pee himself. Like a chihuahua. Driving a car.

Rogue was completely calm, cool, and collected the entire drive to the little snow covered chapel, where we were met by the photographer who happily snapped a few shots of the bride arriving with her crew, and then it was as if suddenly everything hit her all at once and she froze. She literally froze, like a deer caught in the headlights, staring at the oak chapel door as the photographer lowered the camera and glanced at me.

"Uhh, is she okay?" He asked, like an idiot.

I ignored him and took Rogue by the shoulders and turned her to look me in the eye, "Focus Rogue. You got this."

She shivered a little and nodded, her eyes focusing on me with determination, "Yeah. It's just... so official. You know? And who the hell are all these people?!"

"Why don't we go inside and warm up a bit? That would help." Kurt suggested, leading her towards the daunting oak door and inside the warmth of the chapel with the photographer trailing uselessly behind us.

"Does she want like... a glass of water or something?" He asked, and I turned to give him a forced smile.

"She'll be fine. Just give us a minute."

"There's so many of them..." She hissed as if she suddenly realized that she'd invited like, 500 people to this thing, "They're all gunna be lookin' at me! What if... what if I..." She wasn't able to finish her sentence because she began hyperventilating.

"You're not going to do anything but be awesome." I replied firmly. "If anyone is going to make an ass out of themselves, it'll be me. You know that."

She swallowed hard and nodded as she tried to calm her breathing.

"Besides, you said yourself, everyone is going to be looking at Remy. I bet he looks _so_ pretty."

She let out a raspy laugh and continued to nod.

"And you've got your emergency bobby pins." Kurt added helpfully.

I fluffed her veil a bit and grabbed up her burgundy and purple bouquet, stuffing it into her hands without question, "Twenty minutes, and it'll all be over. Just breathe."

She nodded one more time and let out a deep breath, and shockingly that was that.

I mean, it's not like I expected her to panic _more_ or anything, but I'm kind of surprised that there wasn't more general panic along the road to this moment. But she sucked it up like a trooper, and by the time the music swelled to life, she had her game face on, and by the time she reached the front of the aisle, there wasn't a trace of panic left on her face.

Just a beautiful, beaming smile, directed at the beautiful, beaming groom.

And he _was_ very pretty, with his Ryan Gosling tux on, as if anyone ever doubted that for a second.

Remy's smile was brighter than the sun, and that was when the allergies kicked in again, because I could barely keep it together as Rogue handed off her bouquet to me to place her hands in his.

Damn flowers.

And then Hank started speaking. And Hank _kept_ speaking. It definitely would have been a 20 minute ceremony, had I checked my e-mail like I said I would, and glossed over Hank's speech, and cut that puppy down, but I didn't. Because I forgot.

Because I've been _preoccupied_.

Seriously it went on forever. It's like he watched every movie with a wedding and consulted every resource he could find on weddings, and wedding speeches, and wedding ceremonies, and tried to cram everything together into one, compact, 55 minute ceremony.

Even Henri, the most energetic person on the face of the earth, was stifling some yawns around minute 30, and Remy's eyes had definitely glazed over blankly until it was time for the vows. I couldn't see Rogue's face, but I'm assuming she was the same.

And then, _finally_ , after the longest hour of my life, he pronounced them man and wife. Mr. and Mrs. Remy and Rogue Lebeau. Which is definitely how she signed the registry, because apparently not even marriage is enough to have her admit that her real name is _Heather_.

I mean I don't know for sure that's her name, but she's never told me it _isn't_.

So Rogue and Remy, gleefully began the march back down the aisle, hand in hand as the 8 trillion wedding guests tossed rice into the air as they passed, and then I was faced with awkward scenario number one, which I hadn't realized until the very moment that I was faced with it.

I had to walk back down the aisle with Pete.

His smile was aimed at the backs of the two newlyweds and he offered me the crook of his arm without looking down at me. When I slipped my arm through his, the muscles in his jaw ticked, marking the exact moment that his smile went from _thrilled for his best friends_ to _displeased with this woman on my arm_ , and then we were forced to traipse back down the aisle arm in arm, through the shower of rice and out through the big oak door of the chapel into the biting cold March air.

And then while the rest of the eight million guests in attendance were able to get into their toasty warm vehicles, those of us in the wedding party got to stand out in the freezing ass cold to do pictures. The wedding party and _family_ , that is. Which totally included the Summers clan.

Anyway, they just had to have some outdoor snow shots, even though they literally both despise the snow. Someone clearly didn't think this through well enough. I'm choosing to blame the discount photographer they'd hired. All Rogue and I had were stupid little satin wraps to drape over our shoulders demurely, as if that would do anything at all to help, but I was determined to grin through the pain. Suck it up and smile, princess. I thought I was doing a pretty good job at it too, until Alex told me that I needed to "chillax" before trying to coach me a bit, and offering me some weed. Remy puffed out a frustrated breath and glanced at me over Rogue's head,

"Dammit, Kitty. Smile for chrissake, I ain't payin' for pictures of you grimacing like you're bein' groped by some old guy at the company Christmas party."

"She ain't grimacing, she's freezing her ass off." Rogue replied with an eye roll before stuffing her bouquet into Remy's hand and reaching down to dig in her dress pocket, pulling out a mini whiskey bottle with a triumphant grin and handing it over to me. "This'll keep you warm. Workin' like a charm for me..."

"You been holdin' out on me? What kinda wife are you?" Remy scoffed, earning him a cute little smirk from Rogue, until he swept the whiskey bottle out of her hand and away from me, "She can't have that shit anyway, she's knocked up."

I'm assuming my eyes went as wide as Rogue's at this point, in complete disbelief that he would just out me like that, and everyone just stood there in stone silence. Staring at me.

"Wait, _what_?!" Kurt balked from my right.

"I f***in' _knew_ it!" Rogue exclaimed, looking mighty pleased with herself, "I knew that dress place didn't mess up your measurements, I was _way_ too big of a bitch for them to have let that slip. Plus, your boobs are bigger."

"Right?!" Remy agreed. Because of course.

"Can we please just continue with the photos?" I turned back to the photographer holding my bouquet up a little bit higher to disguise my chest and forced smile, trying my damnedest to ignore the looks of shock on Mercy, Scott, Jean and Alex's face from where they stood just a few feet behind the guy lowering his camera awkwardly.

Kurt leaned forward to look beyond Rogue, Remy and myself to Pete, "Did you know about this?!"

Piotr pressed his lips together silently and let out a breath, and Henri's face split into a wide grin before clapping Pete on the shoulder.

"Congratulations!"

"Do not put that camera away." I hissed at the photographer who was looking incredibly uncomfortable.

"This is literally the best news I've heard all week!" Henri continued, and Remy shot him a frown.

"Your brother _literally_ just got married. So thanks."

"Bah, that ain't _news_ Remy. This is _news_!" He gestured towards my abdomen with that wide toothy grin of his and I was suddenly torn between hiding my chest and hiding my stomach.

I stuck with the chest.

"Like... knocked up like _pregnant_?!" Kurt asked, pleading for some more clarification.

"Yes pregnant! Yes! Okay?! Can we please move on?!" I snapped.

"Does this mean you're moving back?" Scott asked with his brows furrowed behind his fancy special occasion shades, "Because you can't become a member of the team when you're pregnant. Legally speaking, that is. We can talk about it later, but there are logistics to the whole process-"

"Scott!" Jean interrupted sharply, shooting me an apologetic smile, "Not the time."

"Wait, what is happening, you're moving back now?! Because you're..." Kurt's eyes dropped down to my stomach and I instantly regretted not shifting the bouquet down to that area.

"Mercy has some phenomenal prenatal vitamins, we'll get you the name." Henri spoke up again, his eyes positively glittering with excitement. "Have you thought about your birth plan yet? It's never too early, you know. I'm a huge believer in hypnobirthing. The mind is, literally, the strongest muscle in the human body. Also, drug free is best, Mercy and I stand by it 100%. She's never once needed stitches afterwards, No episiotomies either, she bounced right back like a rubber band."

Remy's face contorted into a grimace, "Oh f***, no. Stop talking."

"What is an episiotomy?!" Kurt asked, looking around for someone to answer his questions, "Guys! Seriously!"

"It's when they cut the vajajay to make more room for the baby's head." Alex supplied oh-so-helpfully, and Henri shook his head thoughtfully.

"Actually, shoulders." Henri corrected, again, oh-so-helpfully, "The shoulders are the widest point, once they're out the rest is _literally_ downhill from there."

"Whatever, brah. Point is, it's like when they do a controlled burn to stop a forest fire, you know? It's a _controlled tear_." Alex summarized and Kurt's eyes had grown to the size of saucers as he turned back to me,

" _Controlled tear?!_ "

Alex nodded sagely at Jean before turning back to me, "Babelini's are crazy tough. You're a warrior goddess, Jem."

Mercy gently placed a hand on Alex's shoulder in that motherly way of hers, and gave us all a firm look, "Alright, this really ain't the best time to discuss this." She turned her look to the photographer and gestured towards us, "Why don't you try gettin' them back on track?"

"Oh, right, sorry..." The photographer cleared his throat and turned back to us, "I'm uh... not used to shooting weddings."

"You're not used to shooting weddings?" Jean asked with a hint of concern in her voice, likely wondering where they dug up this amateur.

"Chill out, he's a friend of a friend, doin' us a solid for a good price." Remy interjected before the photographer had the chance to try and explain on his own, "He works for a newspaper or some shit."

"Besides, it ain't like takin' pictures is hard. You point and click." Rogue grumbled with an eye roll and a shiver, tucking her bouquet under her arm and twisting the top off a fresh whiskey bottle she pulled out of her pocket, casting the photographer a marginally apologetic look. "No offense."

"Yeah... none taken." He muttered as he adjusted the settings on his camera before clearing his throat, "Why don't we um, try just the bride and the bridesmaids?"

Kurt's face twisted in a sour frown as he grumbled, "Brides _man_..." Under his breath.

"We are definitely talkin' about this... baby thing later." Rogue muttered to me as the guys cleared out, but quickly dropped the subject, leaving just us girls to smile pretty for the camera- and yes I'm including Kurt in with the girls- which we were able to do for a total of 3 minutes before shit hit the fan.

"I'm so sorry I'm late." Mystique informed us as she purposefully strode down the snowy path with Sabertooth a few paces behind her as she casually fluffed up her white fur shawl. "Logan told me to go straight to the reception hall, silly amnesia patient."

"What the f*** are you doing here!?" Rogue snapped, looking past her pseudo mother to the towering man behind her, "And why the f*** would you bring _him_?!"

"Well, I'm here for the pictures of course. I am your mother after all." She smiled and shrugged, "And _he_ is my date."

We all looked at Sabertooth, who did not look too pleased to be there, wearing a suit no less, so I can only assume he was getting some tail out of the arrangement. Which is so disturbing and I absolutely refuse to dwell on it.

"Are you f***ing insane!? I don't want him here! I don't want you here, but I definitely don't want him here! He tried to kill me. _Multiple times_."

"Oh who hasn't, dear." Mystique replied with a flip of her hand and a little chuckle which I guess meant we were supposed to assume that was a joke, "Besides, that was so long ago, you couldn't possibly still be sour about that. We've all moved on. Let bygones be bygones, Rogue."

Rogue's eyes grew wide, and she began white knuckling her bouquet with her voice getting all high and squeaky. "I can't- You don't- This- What- _Bygones_?!"

"Alright, that's enough." Remy stepped forward with his jaw set and a dangerous glint in his eye, "Rogue don't want you here. So you can either leave the easy way, or I can start blowin' shit up-"

"Remy!" Mercy interrupted with a little gasp, "Don't you dare talk to your new mother-in-law that way. She's _family_."

The fact that the mother-in-law's date has tried to murder the bride on multiple occasions didn't really phase her at all, apparently. I guess that's what you get when you run a crime syndicate...

Man this family is f***ed up.

" _Family_." Mystique repeated with a snide little grin. "You want Rogue to have a _family_ picture, don't you? I assume that's why you hired that washed up British spy to try tracking me down in the first place."

Scott turned his shocked look of disapproval to Remy, "You _what_?"

" _That_ was... an error in judgment." Remy replied defensively, his dangerous facade cracking ever-so-slightly.

Rogue snorted and folded her arms, still white-knuckling that poor bouquet, "I'll say!"

"Told you it was a bad idea, brah..." Alex stated a bit smugly, and Jean cast him a firm look, and likely a strongly worded mental message to shut the hell up.

Henri held up a hand, "We can work this out. Literally every family conflict, can be solved with a hug." And then he grinned and wrapped his arms around Mystique in a tight hug, and it was the most majestic and mesmerizing thing I will ever see.

"Get your backwater hillbilly hands off of me before I _cut_ them off." Mystique seethed, and Henri acted as if she hadn't heard a single word, simply releasing her and holding her shoulders with that stupid, amazing smile still fixed in place.

"I'm tellin' ya'll she is _not_ family." Rogue snapped with a scowl.

"Well..." Kurt trailed off when Rogue turned her scowl on him, "I'm just saying that technically..."

Oh Kurt. Honey, stop.

At this point, everyone began to argue. About everything. Everyone was arguing, and the photographer was taking pictures, because I guess... that's his job? And Sabertooth was just standing there like a super awkward bodyguard in his suit, and I suddenly remembered how ridiculously cold I was, and so I took this opportunity to sneak away.

I mean, it's not as if I was going to be missed at this point. It's not as if I had anything helpful to add to the argument. So I made a break for it, backing away slowly at first, before turning on my heel and scurrying my half-frozen ass back to the limo.

I climbed into the warm backseat of the limo, shivering as the shock of heat enveloped me and my body tried to adjust to the abrupt temperature change, when suddenly the door opened again, letting in another gust of cold air, and Piotr climbed in.

He pulled the door shut as I rubbed my arms to try and calm the goose bumps, and he took a seat across from me silently.

Thankfully, he didn't say a word. He didn't even look at me, really. I'd assumed that he'd just been trying to escape the argument unfolding in the midst of the photos just as I had been, until he pulled off his suit jacket and wordlessly handed it to me.

I took the jacket with a muttered thanks and slipped it on, very reluctantly relishing the comfort and warmth of it.

He gave me a mute nod and then turned his eyes to the window.

He was still clearly ticked off at me, but he was also still concerned for my well-being.

The jerk.

I curled my hands into the sleeves of the jacket and sank down into it a little more to better enjoy the warmth, and let out a contented sigh.

Neither one of us said another word the entire time, but it wasn't awkward or tense, it was just... nice. Quiet. Somehow peaceful. Like the eye of the hurricane.

It was almost as if we'd come to an unspoken, mutual understanding, to just try to escape the day in one piece.

Because let's be honest, the wedding was the easy part.


	21. We Can't Stop

**_A/N- I tried, you guys. I really did try to get this chapter ready in a timely fashion. Unfortunately, the end of the year is always completely insane in my house, and it was just not in the cards._**

 ** _The good news is that I had SO MUCH content for this chapter, that I actually ended up splitting into two chapters once I got closer to the end. Because it was crazy long. So on the plus side, I have now finished TWO chapters, and hopefully will be able to conclude this puppy in no time!_**

 ** _I hope you enjoy!_**

* * *

The following does not reflect the views or opinions of Marvel or the author known as 'Kinetically Charmed'.

 **Entry number twenty one:  
**

Somehow, we were all able to get through pictures without murdering anyone, even though Mystique managed to weasel her way into a couple of them, and once pictures in the freezing cold were over, it was time to head over to the reception hall.

Where the "fun" could start.

We rolled up to the hall and got ourselves all situated for the whole wedding party intro thing, when it suddenly occurred to me that I had no idea if they'd even gotten someone to MC the damn thing. This is what happens when you find out your stupid ass is pregnant while trying to plan a wedding. Things fall through the damn cracks.

So of course, I had a momentary jolt of panic, and I turned to Rogue with wide eyes, "Who's your MC?"

She rolled her eyes in response, and at first I thought it was at my lack of faith in her planning ability until she shot Remy a _look_.

"I took care of it." Remy replied coolly, which totally tells me that this was a _thing_. This was a point of contention that I'd been completely unaware of. And judging by the way Pete let out a long sigh and muttered something under his breath in Russian, I was alone in my... unawareness.

And then I heard it. I heard his voice. That obnoxious, unmistakable voice, with his dumb Australian accent and the way he giggles at every moronic joke he makes...

"Uggggh..." I groaned and dropped my head back, "Pyro?! You asked Pyro to be your MC?! What the hell is wrong with you?! You had _one job_ , Gambit! Pyro is the worst!"

Remy gave me a level look, "He's not the worst-"

"He is basically the worst."

"He was cheap!" He countered defensively.

"You paid him?!" I looked over to Rogue, who rolled her eyes at her new husband in irritation.

"Don't even get me started again."

I turned back to Remy and gave my head a sympathetic shake, "It's such a good thing you're so pretty... I swear to God."

And then as if to prove my point, we were then all forced to make our grand entrance to the band playing _My Humps_ , because nothing says wedding like lovely lady lumps.

Check it out.

Once we were all seated and the applause had died down, Pyro raised his glass towards Rogue and Remy with a lopsided grin, "The bride and groom everyone, look at that. Who woulda thought we'd ever see the day?"

A murmur of agreement rippled throughout the reception along with some mild chuckles and Pyro gave his head a shake,

"I lived with this guy for a few years, and let me tell you, he is probably the last person I would ever expect to get married. And I mean the _last_. Not to mention her, not many people would wanna lock that down, am I right? I'm kiddin' of course, she's gorgeous obviously. Bit of a bitch, but hey, that works for some guys."

Some more uncomfortable chuckles and I cut my eyes to Rogue who was desperately trying to hold back from leaping over the round head table and just beating the crap out of him right there.

"In all seriousness though... this guy, was the _master_. I actually used to take notes, you know... kinda like a tally of all the women. Of course, I didn't know any of their names, although I'm not sure Gambit did either, ain't that right, mate?"

He winked at Remy who was by this point, definitely eating his words that Pyro wasn't the worst. "But I kept that tally, all these years-" He paused, setting his drink down on the podium and digging into his suit pocket to pull out a notepad with a wicked little grin on his lips, "- And I used it to compose a little song for you all, a little walk down memory lane, if you will..."

He cleared his throat and cued the band to start playing _We Didn't Start The Fire._

"Short But Loud, Screams A Lot, Crazy Boobs, Smells Like Pot, Horsey Teeth, Chubby Legs, and Crazy Boobs again. Girl With Roots, Mr. Bean, Skinny Arms, Really Mean, Maxi Skirt, Mini Skirt and Crazy Boobs again.

Looks Like Cher, Curly Hair, even though she was a dare, Tina Fey, Blown Away, what else do I have to say!  
Rogue didn't start the fire, it was always burning, cuz he's kind of a man slut. She might have locked that down, but I'm not sure how, cuz he's kind of a man slut"

"Okay, that's enough." I announced, hopping to my feet and gesturing to kill the music before anyone else had the opportunity to. I mean, realistically the song was amusing. I'm not gunna lie.

But Pyro saved my life once, sort of. So I'm returning the favour.

And now we're even.

"Oh hey look everyone!" Pyro beamed when his eyes fell on me, "It's _short but loud_!"

"That's not- nope. I'm not in that song." I clarified for the guests, feeling my cheeks burning, "He's lying."

"Ahhh I'm just teasin' ya Shiela." Pyro said before horrifyingly making his way over to the head table and coming to a stop next to me with that stupid microphone still up to his smirking mouth, "Kitty Pryde everyone. Apparently the maid of honour doesn't like my song. Even though I saw it in a movie, and I _know_ it's hilarious."

I closed my eyes and let out a deep, calming breath, "Please stop."

"It certainly is nice to see you again, Kitty. You're lookin' awfully nice. Keepin' it tight." He winked.

"Please God, stop."

At this point, Rogue stood up with a deceptively calm smile, placing a hand over the microphone before hissing, "If you don't announce the meal and take a damn seat, I am gonna drain every last ounce of life out of you right here in front of everybody. I swear to God."

Pyro cleared his throat with an awkward little chuckle, looking completely spooked, and lifted the mic back up to his mouth, "Soups on!"

Rogue fluffed her veil before sitting back down and giving me a wordless nod as Pyro skulked away, muttering under his breath about "that crazy bitch".

The waiters brought out some drinks first, followed shortly by our meals, and the second that crawfish jambalaya was placed in front of me I felt instantly ill. Like, really, what the hell was I thinking, _jambalaya_?

And this is what morning sickness feels like.

I closed my eyes and tried to even my breath, and I'm pretty sure I turned green.

"Uh, Kitty? You alright?" Kurt asked from my left.

I forced down a swallow and nodded, "It looks like a bowl of vomit."

"Nice. Thanks." Remy commented sarcastically, with a spoonful of his own jambalaya halfway to his mouth.

"Oh, honey." Mercy sympathetically frowned at me from across the table, "She's got the mornin' sickness..."

Without another word, Pete reached over Kurt and swapped our meals, placing a plate of fried chicken and waffles in front of me.

Seriously, what the hell was I thinking with the jambalaya? There are freaking _waffles_.

"You shouldn't eat seafood when you're pregnant, anyway." Henri informed me helpfully, "It's incredibly high in mercury."

"Alright, I gotta ask it." Rogue blurted out, turning to look at me with a frown, "What the f***?"

I sighed and took a sip of water in an attempt to settle my tummy. "It was an accident."

"No shit, Sherlock!"

I shot her a frown, "I would really rather not talk about it."

"Oh hell no. Nope. You ain't gettin' out of it, Pyrde. I'm the bride, it's my wedding, you're leaving for England and I'm going on my honeymoon, and we won't have the chance to discuss this later. So for all those damn reasons, you're gunna talk." Rogue stated firmly, "First off, how the hell was Remy the first person to know!? How does that even make any sense?! _I'm_ the best friend!"

I rolled my eyes and reluctantly gave into Rogue's bridal demands, "You were drunk. And Remy was there... and then he drove me to Walmart and stood outside the bathroom..." I trailed off and flipped a hand, "Trust me, he was purely in the wrong place at the wrong time."

Remy snorted at that with a mouthful of jambalaya, "Wrong place my ass. If I hadn't found out, nobody would f***in' know yet. She probably wouldn't even have told Pete. You're welcome."

"Mimi, please." Mercy admonished, clicking her tongue against the roof of her mouth, "I'm sure she would have told the _father_ in her own time."

Piotr scoffed as he stuffed a spoonful of jambalaya into his mouth, and I stifled the urge to glare at him.

"Don't worry about it shug," Mercy continued, turning to look back at me, "It's always overwhelming at first but soon you'll realize what an amazing blessing the new life growing inside you is."

"Ugh, do you have to say it like that?" Rogue grimaced as she sucked back a mouthful of wine, "It makes me think of like... an alien or something. Like she's growing _aliens_."

"In her defense, she just watched Alien." Remy explained with his arm draped along the back of her chair.

"Whatever. New life... _gestating_ or what-have-you, it definitely _is_ a blessing. You wanted your sign to move back, boom. _Sign_." Rogue continued, taking another gulp of wine.

Before I had the chance to respond, Remy scoffed, "Yeah, right. She's worked _hard_ for her career, she ain't just gunna up and quit because of some tit-sucker. Plus, she won't quit that job, they _willingly_ gave her a gun."

Rogue twisted in her seat to balk at him, "You listening to yourself right now? You're the one who wanted her to move back, remember?"

"I'm a realist, Rogue." Remy stated after taking a nice long drink of his own alcoholic beverage. "Ain't no reason she can't keep her job and be a mom, she doesn't _need_ to move back. She could easily strap that little alien to her in one of those... those things..." He gestured to his chest and his face twisted into frown, "Those stupid kangaroo things Mercy made Henri wear to carry the aliens around..."

Rogue rolled her eyes. "Oh yeah, that would be great, just pop that bulletproof vest on over top of the baby and she's all set."

"I'm just _sayin_ '. Her tits have the food, what more does she need? Toss that kid in a backpack and she's good to go."

I rubbed a hand over my face and gave my head a shake, "I mean, you sound like a complete moron, but you have a point." I sighed and rolled my eyes, "You're not _making_ it, but you do have one. I _don't_ need to move back, I can totally do this on my own."

"You won't _need_ to be on your own if you move back." Rogue pointed out before turning back to Remy with an sarcastic little smirk, "What happened to the _importance of family_."

"Family _schmamly._ Do you really want that thing living 10 feet down the hall from you, wakin' up screaming at 2 AM?" He jabbed his fork at me, even though I'm assuming he was referring to the baby. Although I might scream, too. He turned back to his food and snorted, "London is great, Kitty. I'm sure it's a great place to raise a kid. It'll grow up with culture and have one of those cute British accents like the Harry Potter kids who mumble all the time. You'll love it."

"Why don't ya'll just leave her alone. This is a private matter between Kitty and Pete." Mercy reprimanded softly, and Piotr muttered something sarcastically in Russian, which earned him a nasty look from me.

Because I'm pretty sure I could guess what he was muttering.

"I'm still confused as to how this even happened." Kurt blurted out, because apparently he'd been quiet too long and felt the need to put in his two cents.

Remy's head dipped to the side sympathetically, "Well, see Kurt, when a mommy and daddy really love each other-"

"That's not what I meant." Kurt interrupted before Remy could get into the graphic details, thankfully, "What I meant was, how could you two be so _stupid_?!"

I turned to frown at Kurt, "It's not _stupid_ , these things happen, Kurt. Get off your high horse for five seconds, would you?!" I snapped defensively.

"It _is_ stupid. Your relationship was barely even a _relationship_ , and now you're stuck together for the next 18 years." He shook his head and turned back to his chicken, adding with a sarcastic sniff, "I assume you're getting married now too, so _congratulations_."

"Nobody is getting married, okay?" I clarified.

"Of course not, she does not even want to stay in the same _country_ as me." Piotr added with a wry little chuckle, which gained him yet another glare from me.

As if suddenly remembering that Piotr was actually there, Henri turned to him with a smile and cleared his throat, "And how is daddy feeling about all of this?"

"Oh I know how daddy feels. Daddy's gone into planning mode and mentally bought us a house and an effing minivan. Daddy thinks that this is just some problem that can just be... solved. By expecting mommy to just uproot and rearrange her entire life, and I just realized that called myself mommy and it is too soon for that!"

"That is not what I did." Piotr protested with a frown and I turned to him with wide eyes,

"That's exactly what you did! You made the unilateral decision that I was going to quit my career and move back, as if it didn't even occur to you that I might not want to move back!"

"Then I will move to London! That is not even the _issue_ , Kitty! The issue is that you were the one who wanted this relationship, and the second things get rough, you flip out in a blind panic and refuse to be rational!" He snapped back at me before closing his eyes and letting out a soothing breath, "No. I'm sorry. We are not doing this now, we are here to celebrate Rogue and Remy's wedding."

"Don't let us hold you back." Remy commented, taking a nice big gulp of wine.

"You know how we enjoy other peoples drama." Rogue added in agreement.

"I am _allowed_ to panic! This is the perfect time to panic, alright?! _Everyone_ should be panicked!" I hissed over Kurt, who I suddenly noticed was looking incredibly uncomfortable being caught in the middle of this argument, "This is big business, Piotr. This is way too real, _way_ too fast. I needed baby steps. And now suddenly I'm forced to choose between career and love, and now there's an effing _baby_ , and I just can't- I just _can't_! But you're not panicked at all, lord no, you're the _problem solver!_ "

"I never thought that having a baby with you would be considered a _problem_." Piotr replied evenly as he turned back to his jambalaya, signifying that the discussion was over before adding, "And the only one making you _choose_ anything, is you."

I clamped my mouth shut, feeling a wave of guilt slam into me. So thanks a lot for that, Pete.

Kurt lifted his water to his mouth, taking a long, awkward drink as he glanced between the two of us. I turned back towards my plate and frowned.

"I don't think I'm very hungry after all." I muttered, pushing myself back from the table.

"Oh, you shouldn't skip meals." Henri piped up, "That is literally the worst thing a pregnant woman can do-"

Mercy interrupted him with some French reprimand and a sharp look, and he clamped his mouth shut quickly.

"I think I'm just going to go to the bar and watch other people get drunk, longingly." I explained, before swiftly making my retreat to the bar. I mean, if I can't consume the stuff, at least I can watch other people getting wasted.

Or, it was just a really good excuse to leave.

I plopped myself down on one of the vacant stools, and pressed my lips into a strained smile when the bartender came to a stop in front of me.

"What can I get you?" He asked politely, planting his palms down on the counter expectantly.

"Right. Drink. Umm... about that..." I glanced quickly at the bottles lining the glassy lit up shelves behind him and cleared my throat, "Could I get... uh... something that _looks_ like a drink?"

The bartender's lip quirked up and he tipped his head to the side, "Like... a drink?"

"Looks like an _alcoholic_ drink." I clarified, finding myself losing my patience with this poor innocent man. I let out a breath and tried again, "I'm pregnant." I whispered with a cursory glance around to make sure no one heard. "But it's not public knowledge yet, and I-"

"Say no more." He nodded understandingly, turning his back to me for a moment before graciously providing me with something red, in a martini glass with a little lemon wedge on the rim. "One Cosmo, on the house." He winked.

"Right. Thank you." I plucked the glass off the counter and tried not to dwell on the fact that I really wished that Cosmo wasn't a virgin. And also, that I still was. Ironic rim-shot.

I'd just lifted the drink- which turned out to be cranberry juice- to my mouth for a sip when I heard, "Kitty, right?"

My head whipped around to the owner of the slightly familiar voice, to find Wanda Maximoff, keepin' it classy in her sparkly black halter top and red leather jacket.

She climbed onto one of the stools, leaving a few empty between us, with a curious once over before turning her attention to the bartender and ordering a whiskey sour.

"I thought you were some hot shot agent with the British Intelligence or something now." She commented while she waited for her drink.

"MI:13." I corrected, and she shrugged, apparently not really caring about my actual profession and simply trying to make small talk. "And you're..."

"At the wedding of my father's _ex-lover_." She snorted, taking the whiskey sour from the bartender with a thankful nod before turning back to me, "So... not doing so great."

I scrunched my nose up in a grimace, "Ugh, please don't ever say that word again... That's a _wild_ overestimation of their relationship."

" _Is_ it though?" Wanda sniffed before throwing back a mouthful of her drink.

I choose to believe so, yes.

"He's been awfully melancholy all day..." She continued, glancing over her shoulder to where Magneto was sat, her face morphing into a sneer.

I scoffed, "They almost kissed _once_." I rolled my eyes and sipped on my CranCosmo. "And nobody said he _had_ to come. Or you for that matter."

She shrugged, "I thought it was an open bar, and I like wedding cake."

"You're gunna be really disappointed in the donut wall then..." I muttered into my drink.

"Plus, _Lorna's_ here..." She said disdainfully, as if I should understand why her half-sister's presence should be reason enough for her to attend. I followed her line of sight to Alex and the beautiful green-haired woman seated next to him. "F***ing Lorna." She grumbled into her glass before another mouthful. "She's so stupid, and perfect. With her shiny green hair and her magnetic powers and her no parole officer..."

I shifted uncomfortably in my stool and hummed in acknowledgment in a way that I'd hoped wasn't encouraging.

"I mean, before, my only competition was Pietro. Which was easy, because Pietro straight up sucks. But now I've got this bitch... and papa keeps going on and on about how much they have in common." She paused long enough to take another drink, "Seriously, my father has no standards. I'm the Scarlet Witch. I can literally do anything. But in waltzes this broccoli haired "half-sister" who can pin a colouring page to a refrigerator and suddenly daddy's eyes are all a-sparkle."

"That's... a shame." I nodded as Wanda worked away on her drink, and I was quickly beginning to regret my decision to come hang out at the bar. Thankfully, Wanda had apparently finished with her verbal purge, and was happy to sit in blessed silence from then on, until eventually Pyro stepped up to the microphone to announce the bride and groom's first dance.

Which was apparently to be performed, as a gift, by Amara and her husband _Canyon_.

Rogue and Remy took their place on the dance floor, and judging by the look on Rogue's face, she was none-too pleased with this surprise gift, and was likely going to yell at me later for letting this slip by, while Amara walked up on stage with a set of bongo's under her arm and her husband following behind with his guitar, and then began to sing a hauntingly and confusingly good rendition of Miley Cyrus's _We Can't Stop_.

In the midst of the performance, Wisdom found his way back to the bar (shocker) and came to sit down on the stool next to me with a lopsided grin and a scotch in his hand.

"Liquid dinner this evening, Pryde?"

"I deserve it, after the day I've had." I snorted and took a sip of my fake Cosmo.

"Right, well take it easy on those, wouldn't want you to make any drunken mistakes tonight..." He said, as he glanced beyond me to Wanda with a little glimmer of interest in his eye.

"Likewise." I replied pointedly.

He turned his attention back to me with a wink, "I never make mistakes, Petal."

"Uggh." Wanda groaned with an eye roll, "Get a goddamn room already."

"Now, that _would_ be a mistake." Wisdom replied to Wanda without missing a beat, turning back to me with a dry look, "She seems fun."

"Magneto's daughter."

"Ah. No further explanation necessary." He tossed back the rest of his scotch, ordering a second (or third, probably) without wasting any time, at which point other couples began joining the bride and groom on the dance floor.

"I think you're expected to be out there too, love." He commented to me, gesturing towards Mercy and Henri, and Kurt and Storm, dancing along with the insanely inappropriate music.

I snorted, "Trust me, nobody wants me and Piotr within _shoe throwing_ distance right now."

Wisdom has never been one to question any of the weird things I say, and let the comment slide, resting his elbow on the bar as he took a drink of his fresh scotch, "Right, well there are other people you could dance with. You're not chained to the bloke, you know."

"Why would you say that?" My eyes snapped over to him with overt suspicion, "I'm _not_ chained to him. I can do what I want. This is our house, this is our rules." Ugh, that stupid song...

Wisdom made a face at me and turned his attention back to the dance floor, "Well if you're not going to dance, the least you could do is help _me_ find someone to dance with." He said, and there was no mistaking that he was not referring to literal dancing, because this is Wisdom we're talking about.

"Ew, no. The _least_ I could do, is literally nothing."

He ignored me completely and nodded towards one of the tables a few meters away from us, "Table 17, platinum hair, watery eyes, massive breasts... what's her name again?"

I looked, in spite of myself and frowned, "Is she _crying_?" Overcome with curiosity, I knit my brow and stood up, moving through the tables as the song came to an end and everyone began to clap. "Felicia?" I sat down in the empty seat next to her when she turned and offered me a watery smile, quickly swiping a finger beneath her eyes. "Are you okay?"

"Oh, Kitty!" She sniffled, "It's so good to see you! It's been so long! How have you been?"

"I'm... good." I replied with a frown, noticing that she hadn't answered my question, "How are _you_?"

"Oh, you know weddings..." She flipped a hand with another little sniffle, "That song was so beautiful... and I just get... a little emotional..." She managed to say before a small sob escaped her lips.

The song was _not_ that beautiful.

"Hey! It's okay... whatever... it is..." I said in a pathetic attempt to soothe her, "Don't cry..."

"It's just... it's just hard to watch Remy get married, I guess." She sniffled, "The one that got away."

I furrowed my brow in confusion, "Really? I was under the impression that you... were in love with someone else?"

"Well, yes. _He's_ the love of my life. But Remy was my backup plan. Well to be fair, my second backup plan." She dabbed at her tears with a napkin as she spoke, "But _still_. You think you have it all planned out, you know? Life... it just... it comes at you." Her voice had begun to waiver again and she shook her head, "Life is what happens when you're busy making plans..."

"... They've been together for like, 8 years. You couldn't have found another backup backup in that-"

"Don't put it off, Kitty, don't put love off." Felicia interrupted, suddenly growing very serious. She grabbed my hands and shook her head, "You just don't know what tomorrow will bring."

I blinked at her, completely at a loss for words here as this normally cool and confident woman lost her marbles right in front of me.

"Is everything alright?" Wisdom's voice came from behind me and I was suddenly so incredibly grateful for his stupid libido.

"Uh yep. This is Felicia." I turned back to him with a plastered on smile and she dropped my hands, "She went out with Doug a few times-"

"Ah _Felicia_." He purred, ducking down to scoop up her hand and place a kiss on the back like a total perv. "That's a beautiful name."

"Thank you." She chuckled, tucking some of her white hair behind her ear with another little sniffle, "I love your accent. Is that Australian?"

Ooo, it's a good thing she's hot.

Wisdom simply smiled, even though inside he was probably raging, and let out a deep chuckle, "British. Although I've been told I look just like Chris Hemsworth."

I snorted, "Yeah, and I look just like Kate Moss."

Felicia giggled, apparently not put out by my sarcastic comment.

"And what's your name, Chris Hemsworth look-alike?"

"Pete Wisdom, at your service." He said with a little dip of his head, and I stifled a groan.

Seriously, I fell for this, you guys.

Felicia's eyes grew a little bit sad again and her gaze dropped to the ground, "I dated a Pete once..."

"You know what they say, love; The best way to get over an old Pete, is to replace him with a new one." The corner of his mouth quirked up, "A Pete palate cleanser, if you will. Ask Kitty, she's dated a gaggle of Petes." Felicia giggled again and Wisdom's dark smile widened across his face. "Actually, maybe you could give Kitty this bloke's phone number, she's always on the lookout for a new one."

"He's taken, actually." She chuckled and Wisdom clucked his tongue against the roof of his mouth.

"Ah, well that's probably for the best, she's already had three. I think it might be an addiction."

Felicia laughed again gave him a playful little swat, and I tried my best not to throw up in my mouth.

"Alright, I'm gunna go." I announced with an eye roll, and Wisdom waved me off, mostly just as encouragement to get me out of the seat so he could swoop in and put some more moves on Black Cat.

I really wish I had been able to drink, because it was clearly going to be a long reception to suffer through sober.


	22. And We Won't Stop

The following does not reflect the views or opinions of Marvel or the author known as 'Kinetically Charmed'.

 **Entry number twenty two:**

After escaping from Wisdom and Felicia, I wasted no time finding the nearest B level superhero to make some small talk with. You know, asking Iron Fist if his fist is really made of iron, or if it was more of an Iron Man situation, stuff like that. Anything to keep myself occupied before anyone else could speak to me about the state of my uterus or... the state of anyone else's uterus. Gross. I just grossed myself out.

Once the first few dances were done, Pete and I were called up on stage to give our speeches. Which was tense and uncomfortable for me, but Pete seemed pretty okay with it all, and I'm assuming he'd had a few shots of liquid courage before stepping into the spotlight with she-who-must-not-be-named.

That's me. I am Voldemort in this scenario. Just so we're clear.

Anyway, after just over an hour of tedious interactions, including the best man and maid of honour speeches which were kept short albeit slightly tense and uncomfortable, it seemed like that reception was poppin', as all the guests had gotten sufficiently liquored up. All of the guests who were not currently pregnant, at least.

Yay.

I thought that I was in the clear in terms of any truly awkward conversations, sticking to the perimeter and chatting with the guests who were _clearly_ invited via mass e-vite, but that stupid donut wall called to me and I found myself being drawn in. I should have known better, but the promise of sugar was just too much for me to resist, and just as I was about to dig into my third chocolate glazed donut, I suddenly felt someone come up behind me and throw an arm around my shoulders from behind.

"I found 'er Remy, quick, get the hog tie!" Rogue laughed with a snort, the ice in her the glass she clutched with her other hand clinking as she took a mouthful.

I chuckled uneasily and slipped free of her grasp, you know, just in case she wasn't kidding about the hog tie, and turned look at her, "Rogue-"

"Don't you _Rogue_ me, I been lookin' for you." She jabbed a finger towards me, and then Remy appeared with a lopsided grin. His burgundy jacket was missing, his tie had been tugged loose, his hair a mess, and he dropped his chin down on Rogue's shoulder as he slipped his arms around her waist.

They were both clearly _massively_ inebriated, and super enjoying their reception.

"We wanna share our relationship wisdom with you." Remy drawled, "Ain't that right, baby?"

"Mmhmm, think of it as another bridesmaid gift." Rogue nodded.

"Wow, in addition to the bike?" I replied with mock enthusiasm, which neither one of them picked up on.

"Look, Imma married woman now, Katherine." Rogue slurred, "Lemme tell you how it goes. You gotta _communicate_ , okay? It's the key to all relationships. I know this. Listen to Auntie Roguey."

I gave them an un-amused look and took a bite of my donut, "Right. You have been married for 5 hours. And you guys never communicate. You yell."

"That counts." Remy retorted defensively, "We're gunna communicate _so_ much..."

Rogue craned her neck to look up at him with her big, loving eyes, "You're so good at talking, baby. You know all the words."

His eyes grew intense and he furrowed his brow. "No, you know the words. You f***ing _know_ them, Rogue."

And then they started making out. While I was eating my donut and everything.

"You need to learn the words, _Minette_." Remy somehow managed to murmur with Rogue still mauling him.

"I know words too, Gambit. I can word." I snapped back, like an idiot. I don't even have a defense, I hadn't been drinking.

Rogue finally turned her face away from Remy's and gave me the sternest stare her glassy eyes could manage, "You need to be talking to Pete. Not _Antman_ , or... Mr. Fantastic or whatever other stuper hero- stuper hero- stup... whatever other dumbass you've been talking to all night."

"Pete Rasputin." Remy clarified loudly, "Not the other one. You gotta stop dating so many Pete's..."

I rolled my eyes and opened my mouth to say some pointless, defensive response, when my saviour in a glittery silver dress came to my rescue.

"There's the happy couple. Congratulations, you two." Emma came to a stop next to me with as sincere of a smile as she could manage, "I think they're getting ready to roll out the chocolate fountain over at the other end of the hall. You should hurry up and get some before anyone starts trying to mud wrestle in it." She gestured to somewhere far off in the distance and then linked her arm into mine with a little wave for them before spinning me around and guiding me to a table at the side.

I sighed and sank down into a seat, tossing my donut onto the table, having lost my appetite. "Thanks for that."

"Of course." She replied flippantly, eyeing the discarded donut with a sneer, "Donuts and fried chicken at a wedding. It's like the Beverly Hillbillies."

I smirked at her and licked some chocolate off my thumb, which only served to disgust her even more.

"I mean, really. Everything is finger foods, what is this Pizza Hut?" She sniffed, "I certainly hope you're not relying on those two inbred rednecks to plan your baby shower."

I choked on literally nothing and stared wide eyed at her, a twinkle of amusement lit up her eyes at my reaction and she shrugged, "If you wanted to keep it private then you shouldn't have been thinking about it so loudly all day."

I rolled my eyes and _thought_ some choice words for her, which caused her to smile.

"It's not as if I scroll _your_ mind for entertainment. How terribly repetitive that would be, it's always _Pete this, Pete that_. Different Pete's of course, but the dialogue is the same. It gets very boring. Maybe throw a _Steven_ in there once in a while, change the narrative up. In fact, there's a Steven over there who would certainly be up for helping out a poor, single mother. He's got something of a saviour complex."

"Are you trying to set me up with Captain America?"

"I know, he's not your type, but desperate times..." She glanced down at my midsection, "That is, unless you're not keeping the thing."

My mouth dropped open and I stared at her dumbly, "Of course I'm keeping _the thing_."

To be honest, the thought of not keeping _it_ had never even crossed my mind. Emma didn't seem taken aback by my reaction at all, which just tells me that she was trying to manipulate an honest reaction by blindsiding me with a blunt statement. Which is kind of her signature move. I mean, even if you act cool on the outside, your thoughts don't lie.

She's a criminal mastermind, and she effing knows it.

"Right. Well in that case perhaps it couldn't hurt to give him your number. Although that wholesome thing of his would certainly get old, fast." She said, more to herself than anything else.

"I doubt I could talk to Captain America tonight even if I wanted to, what with the long line of admirers hanging around him." I commented, twisting in my chair to look over to where the Avenger had been backed into a corner by a throng of adoring fans. "Poor guy. He's probably the only one here having a worse time than I am. This reception sucks. I want a _real_ drink."

"Really? I'm having a fabulous time, redneck food notwithstanding. The wine selection here is surprisingly impressive, not exactly intellectually satisfying but it certainly isn't a box from Costco. I had the opportunity to give Mystique a temporary psychic lobotomy, which is something I've always wanted to do."

I quirked a surprised eyebrow at her and she dismissed me with a flick of her wrist.

"Don't give me that look, she was asking for it. Besides, it's a much better wedding gift than the _butter dish_ Rogue registered for. And it killed two birds with one stone, because Sabertooth had to toss her over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes and haul her out of here." She recounted with a blissful little smile on her lips. "And on top of all that, I managed to find my ride home in record time." She nodded her head towards the far side of the dance floor, "That beautiful imbecile over with Bobby trying to break dance."

I turned to look and squinted as I watched the two of them apparently trying to have a dance off. "Is that... _Hawkeye_?"

The purple All Stars he was wearing with his suit were a dead giveaway, really. This guy has a serious thing for the colour purple. He's like a teenage girl. Or Prince.

Emma hummed in affirmation and her smile spread as she watched him, "Absolutely. He's as dumb as a bag of rocks, but look at those arms..."

As if on cue, Hawkeye looked our way, offering Emma a wide grin and enthusiastic, Forrest Gump wave.

I frowned back at her, "Him? Really?"

"He'll be fun for the night, and there's no way he's going to be able to find his way back to my loft after tonight, he probably has to have Ironman hold his hand when he crosses the street. He's perfect." Emma concluded turning to me with a grin, "Don't try and tell me you've never sought out the type before, you certainly weren't seeing that last _Pete_ for the deep conversations." She said sarcastically, which I will admit, hurt a little. "He called himself _Star Lord_." She added, just to help drive her point home.

I frowned silently for a moment before muttering, "We had a lot in common."

"I'm choosing to ignore that. My point is, we're cut from the same cloth, you and I. The sooner you learn that, and come to terms with it, the better off you'll be." She concluded with a flip of her hand, "We don't let things like relationships bog us down. I'll admit that having a... _thing_ -" She gestured towards my stomach flippantly, "Might put a kink in those plans, but you'll get a live-in nanny. It'll be fine."

I rolled my eyes, "I see what you're trying to do, Emma."

"Actually, I'll bet Doug would be more than willing to help you raise a fetus. He seems like he would be a very good motherly figure, and there's no way his relationship with that sub-par telepath will last much longer than another trimester, he'll be looking for a new place to live soon enough."

"Stop it." I frowned.

"You'll have everything you've ever wanted all in one fell swoop. The _rug rat_ , and the career. After all, you've been perfectly happy with your work life, isn't that right. Living in the fast lane, take-out dinners every evening, the quiet, lonely apartment... you're living the dream."

I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose, " _Please_ stop it..."

"The therapist and mandatory stress leave are just signs of how much fun you're having. I bet you can't wait to get back to work and dig into all those new cases which have inevitably been piling up. I'm sure Betsy could have taken care of them for you, but we all know she's useless. You should probably put in for a new partner."

"Yes, thank you. You've made your point. I wasn't happy. I get it, Emma."

Emma was smugly silent for a moment before eventually adding, "I mean really, she couldn't even keep track of her own _body_."

I rolled my eyes but kept my mouth shut, because honestly, it's not as if Emma was wrong. Betsy is definitely good at her job, but she did lose her own body.

I don't have an immense amount of confidence in her as a partner, not gunna lie.

"I should go before someone with a shiny pair of earrings walks by and distracts my date." Emma announced, standing up with a little wink, "Stay out of trouble, hmm? And let me know if you change your mind about Steve Rogers, I think you could give him a run for his money."

I gave her a little wave and watched as she slipped her way through the crowd and made her way to Hawkeye. That poor guy. He has no idea what he's in for.

I spent the next hour and a half laying low, having learned my lesson with the donuts to keep a low profile in order to avoid drunken advice from Mr. and Mrs. "Perfect Marriage", even though I'm pretty sure they covertly escaped to the honeymoon suite some time ago.

Betsy had decided that 9:00 was late enough, because her body is a machine, and she likes to be fresh when she wakes up for her 4 am workouts, so she'd headed back to the hotel room to get some sleep. The band had also left, because Remy was in charge of the band, and figured that 3 hours would be plenty of time for a reception, which left the microphone open for Amara and her husband with the weird name to take over, singing acoustic renditions of the 50 Shades of Grey soundtracks. I was sitting there with Doug, drinking another fake Cosmo, watching drunken idiots trying to dance and people stuffing what was left of the donut wall into their pockets and purses, and silently judging people like we do.

It was nice to spend time with him alone, for once, and outside of work to boot. I'm always working. Or he's always working. We're both always working.

His mouth tugged up into a smirk and he nudged me with his elbow, "10 o'clock, check it out."

My eyes located what he was smirking at; a table a few yards away from where we'd been camped out. I squinted for a better view of what I was actually looking at in the dimly lit hall, and blinked a few times, as if to make sure I wasn't seeing things.

"Is that... Kurt? And Wanda?!"

"Looks like it." Doug propped his elbow on the table and dropped his chin on his fist, "And he's _smiling_."

"And he's _smiling_." I repeated, turning to gape at Doug. "Why is he smiling!?"

Doug gave me a shrug, "I don't know, I just saw them."

"Can't you read their lips or something?"

"They're too far away." Doug shook his head thoughtfully, "But I can definitely tell that they're enjoying each others company."

I rolled my eyes, "Thanks Sherlock. I want to know what they're _talking_ about."

"He's probably telling her how much he likes her choker and gothic cross earrings, and she's probably telling him how she loves the colour blue, and how his skin always looks moist."

"Ew."

"I mean, if you really think about it, they do have some common ground. She likes weird things, he looks like he walked out of a Tim Burton short. Both of them have parents who have dabbled in terrorism, and siblings who overshadow them. He likes... breasts. She has breasts." He gave me a nod to make his point, "It's kismet."

"Well when you put it _that_ way." I smirked. I was about to add something funny, I'm sure, but all rational thoughts flew out of my head as we watched Wanda lean towards Kurt with a disgustingly sultry smile on her lips. And then they totally started making out.

"Oh don't do that..." I winced and looked away with a grimace, "That's not right..."

Doug's face scrunched up as he continued to watch, "It's like he's trying to swallow her face."

I peeked again out of morbid curiosity and let out a burst of laughter, because he was _right_.

"He needs to practice. On his hand or a pillow or something... _anything_..." Doug mused as we continued to observe from afar, until finally, respite came in the form of Illyana Rasputin.

Which just goes to show you how bad it really was.

She came to a stop right in front of us with her hands on her hips and a distressed look on her face, with her eyebrows creased in the middle and her lips turned down at the corners.

" _There_ you are. I have been looking for you everywhere."

"I've been sitting here for an hour." I commented, even though I'm sure she was exaggerating for effect.

"I need your help." She snapped, which is funny, because you'd think that if you needed someone's help, you would be polite and kind about asking, but then again this is Illyana we're talking about. "It is Piotr."

My heart clenched just a little as I reassessed the look on her face, "Is he alright?"

She rolled her eyes, "He is _drunk_."

I snorted, "Yeah right."

"Does it look like I am making jokes?" She asked with an impatient eyebrow raise, "Would you just come." She demanded, turning on her heel and marching off, apparently expecting me to follow. Which I did. Along with Doug.

Illyana led us all the way across the damn reception hall, to the bar, which was apparently the perfect length for beer pong.

Beer pong you guys.

If only Emma could see us now.

I watched in utter amazement as the father of my unborn child battled Ant Man at a game of beer pong. And apparently Ant Man was a freaking beer pong pro, because Illyana was not wrong. Pete was completely and utterly wasted. Which would explain why he had an arm slug around Pyro, declaring to everyone within earshot, how much he liked Pyro.

Nobody likes Pyro.

"That... Ant person challenged Piotr over an _hour_ ago, and then completely swindled him. Look at how good he is!" She paused as Ant Guy tossed a ping pong ball and popped it directly into one of Pete's cups, "That is not natural! I told Piotr, he is a criminal, you should never play beer pong with a criminal, but of course he wouldn't listen to me."

"Well, okay. So he's a little bit inebriated." I nodded slowly, trying my best to downplay this whole situation because Pete is a grownup and he is certainly not my responsibility. "He can take care of himself, you know. I'm not his keeper."

Illyana's eyes bore into mine for a very long moment before she eventually said, "Yes, you _are_!"

And then apparently Ant Man won the game, because the whole crowd of drunken morons started cheering and chanting "chug!" because we're all teenagers, I guess.

"Uh oh..." Doug muttered as he watched with intense amusement as the crowd cajoled Pete up onto the bar, continuing on with their chug chant, before they started to hand the red solo cups up to him. He held the first one up and began reciting something completely in Russian and Doug snorted out a laugh.

Illyana glared at him, but he ignored it and turned to me to explain, "He's saying the _O captain, my captain_ poem from Dead Poets Society."

"Oh God..." A jolt of panic shot through my body as I watched him toss back the first drink with the crowd cheering in excitement.

This guy is like, seven feet tall, okay? That is far too high up for a drunk man. I don't know what was going through his metal brain.

And at that point, I honestly didn't even think, I just shoved my way through, and slapped my palms on the bar. "Piotr!"

I don't think he heard me. I don't think _anyone_ heard me. So instead of trying to get his attention from the floor, I kicked my heels off and climbed my ass up onto the counter, which definitely got everyone's attention.

"Katya!" Pete's smile was big and his eyes were glassy and lidded, and Lord only knows how much he'd actually had to drink, because I've seen this man toss back a whole bottle of vodka without getting drunk. "Hey everyone! It's Katya!"

Maybe beer affects him differently.

Everyone cheered for me, because they were drunk, and drunk people cheer for everything, and Pete tossed back one of the beers, quickly being handed up another one and somehow managing to keep his balance.

"I lost the beer pong." He slurred, with a shrug before going to suck back the second beer, when I put a hand on his arm with a soft smile.

"Yeah, I saw that. But maybe you've had enough now, Big Guy."

I gently pulled the cup out of his hand and ignored the jeers and groans of disappointment from the drunken morons at my feet. "Why don't we get down from here?"

Suddenly, Pete's eyes went wide, as if he realized how high up he was, and he sucked in a breath. "You should not be up here." He said, glancing down to the drunks on the ground, sobering up just a bit for just a moment, "It's not _safe_. You could fall and-" And then he started speaking entirely in Russian as he climbed down from the bar, ignoring the disappointment from his fans. Once he was back on the ground, he carefully helped me off the counter, as if I were made of glass, which you'd think was insulting, but was actually more impressive than anything else.

Of course, his legion of fans were not pleased that the game was suddenly so abruptly over, and that it was clearly my fault, and took to booing as I slipped my heels back on.

"Alright, I'm sure you guys will get over it." I rolled my eyes, "More booze for everyone else."

"Don't _boo_ her." Piotr slid down onto a bar stool, pointing one of his sausage fingers at the group, which had rapidly begun to lose interest in the whole situation now that the fun was over, "She is my lady. My lady love. I _love_ her. Oh, hi Doug! Katya, Doug is here."

I looked over to where Illyana and Doug had approached, with that stupid sly grin of his, "Hey Pete. Fun night?"

Piotr responded with a half smile, "I am not good at beer pong."

"I noticed!" He gave Pete a slap on the shoulder, and turned to me again with that dumb smile, "He _loves_ you."

"He proclaimed his love for _Pyro_. He'd probably express loving emotions for Wisdom at this point." I rolled my eyes.

"Oh no. I do not like that guy." Piotr shook his head slowly and closed his eyes before saying something in Russian which made Doug laugh.

"I cannot believe you would be so irresponsible! You are so embarrassing! I _told_ you to stop bouncing the ball on the table, when you bounce the ball the Ant Person can block it!" Illyana griped with a frown, which Piotr ignored, before she began muttering to herself in her mother tongue.

"Alright, why don't we get you home to bed." I patted his knee and Doug helped me haul him back to his feet while Illyana stood on the sidelines, seething, and being useless in general.

Pete smirked at me with his boozy lidded eyes and said something entirely in Russian, which made Illyana squawk and slap her hands over her ears in disgust and made Doug blush.

"What did he say? What's he saying?" I demanded and Doug cleared his throat as Pete slung one of his massive, heavy arms over his shoulder.

"He's talking about his bed." Doug said, glancing at Illyana who was frowning at me, "And what he would like to do to you in the bed. In detail."

" _Pete_! Stop!" I smacked him in the gut, which only caused him to laugh. I was not amused. And I'm pretty sure sober Piotr would have been mortified, and the thought of telling him what he said when he's sober is the only thing that kept me going. We started slowly guiding Pete towards the exit with Illyana and I leading the charge while Doug made sure he didn't trip, or get lost, when Doug glanced up at Pete curiously.

"So, I gotta ask. Why'd you two spend the entire night alone, if you're so _in love_?"

I rolled my eyes and did _not_ take the bait, and Piotr simply shrugged a shoulder, "Oh, I am mad at her because she lives in England."

Doug arched an amused brow and glanced at me, "And... this was news to you?"

Pete snorted, "No." He laughed, and then finished his thought in Russian. They went back and forth like this a few times before the smile disappeared off of Doug's face and Illyana suddenly went from looking annoyed to looking... mortified?

I never really know with Illyana.

Either way, they were both standing completely still, staring up at Piotr in total wide-eyed shock.

"Oh God." I groaned, "What is he saying now? Just stop talking to him okay? I really need to learn Russian..."

And then Piotr reached out to gently place a hand on my stomach with his crooked, boozy smile, before leaning down to try and say something to my uterus, which I most certainly did not let him do. I jerked my body away so fast, I'm sure I gave that little embryo whiplash.

"You're pregnant?!" Doug gaped at me, and honestly there was no use lying to this guy because he could easily read the truth written all over my face. He sucked in a breath through his teeth, "Betsy is going to freaking lose her mind-"

"You're not going to tell Betsy." I snapped, jabbing a finger at him with a dangerous glare, "Got it?"

"I am going to be an aunt?" Illyana breathed, her eyes going unfocused as she tried to process this new information, "I have... very mixed feelings about this."

"Well, I think she'll figure it out eventually, when her partner suddenly looks like a _Weeble_." Doug clipped back at me, ignoring Illyana's personal struggle as we do, "You were supposed to be on stress leave, Kitty. This is- This is not- this is _anti_ -stress leave."

"Oh really? I actually found the shock of it all to be incredibly relaxing." I snarked back with a frown.

"On the one hand, I do not enjoy children, and this feels like a lot of responsibility. Also I never had an aunt of my own, I would not know how to do it. I think I would be a fun aunt though..." Illyana mused to herself.

"Wisdom's not gunna let you go back in the field. Hell, _I'm_ not gunna let you go back in the field. I didn't even like it when you weren't- I mean, obviously I knew you could handle yourself, but I care about you. You're like a little sister to me."

"I think this would only really work if you had a boy. Hip boy babies are the new trend, girls are _so_ passe." Illyana looked up at me and knit her brow, "Make sure it's a boy. Girl clothes are cliche and done. How long have you known about this, because a few months ago all the shops in Paris had the cutest spring baby lines. This really is terrible planning."

"Or like a cousin. Like a third cousin or something." Doug shot out a sharp breath and ran a hand through his hair, "I just can't believe this..."

Illyana snapped her fingers and her eyes lit up, "I have been thinking about getting a dog because dog pictures are really big on Insta, but babies are even better! Hot-girl-with-cute-baby is one of the hottest trending hashtags right now, and I could borrow him for the weekend and get some amazing Paris shots! My followers will triple!"

I rolled my eyes back to Piotr, who had apparently taken a turn for the worse in the midst of the nonsensical discussion, and was squeezing his eyes shut and pinching the bridge of his nose.

I shook my head and scooped up Pete's arm, "Right, well, while the two of you discuss how life changing this news is _for you_ , I'm going to get Pete home before he passes out, and I'm stuck dragging him to the car. C'mon, Pete."

Pete obliged and allowed me to lead him by the arm through the exit before letting out a deep breath, "I love you."

I felt a little bit of the frustration that had been building up inside of me deflate just a tad, and patted hand as we crossed the parking lot, "Yes, so you said."

"I'm still mad at you."

"I wouldn't have assumed otherwise."

He was quiet the rest of the drive home, and the whole way up the stairs to his room as he trudged along side me with my arm slipped around his waist, just to keep him walking in a straight line. I phased the two of us right through his door and into his bedroom, and he immediately kicked off his shoes and tugged off his tie, clomping across to his bed before flopping down face first onto the comforter.

"Well, you can't sleep like that, you'll choke on your own vomit." I frowned as I crossed the room to grab the empty glass off his nightstand.

He mumbled something into his comforter, presumably in Russian, although it wouldn't really matter either way since his face was buried.

"You know I can't speak Russian, Piotr." I reminded him as I made my way to the bathroom to fill up the glass with some water.

"I cannot help that I go into planning mode. That is how I deal with stress. That's how I freak out, Katya." He said, his voice still muffled from the comforter, but shockingly coherent for his given state. "But I don't think it was wrong of me to assume that we would raise our baby together. It might have been wrong of me to assume you would move back, that is on me."

I snorted in agreement and returned to the nightstand, setting the glass of water down carefully, "You need to stay hydrated."

"I _would_ move to England, you know, if that's what you want. If you even _know_ what you want. I don't know if you know what you want anymore, I know I don't know what you want. I know what _I_ want; I want this relationship to work." He rubbed a hand over his face and sighed, "It is still a relationship, right? Was it bad to assume that too? Were you planning on dumping me in a text on the plane back to England?"

I rolled my eyes and sat down on the edge of his bed. "Well that's just nonsense, you can't use your phone on a plane. Duh."

"You are not answering my questions." He lifted his head slightly to look at me, still managing that annoyed look of his, even while inebriated.

"Because you're _drunk_." I informed him before standing up to help pull his jacket off. I tugged his belt free too, and tossed the two onto his desk chair, "And you're starting to sound like me, which leads me to believe that you really need to get some rest. We'll talk when you'll actually _remember_ what's been said.

He grumbled something in Russian and flopped his head back down, and I moved back to the side of his bed to smooth a hand over his hair, "You should roll onto your side. Go to sleep, okay?"

He placed a hand over mine and held on, closing his eyes with a sigh.

"Stay."

"What?"

"Tonight. Stay here."

I glanced around the room and considered this for a moment, before deciding that it was probably for the best. Since I really didn't want him choking on his vomit. Plus all my stuff was there. So I kicked my shoes off and swung my legs up onto the bed, and fluffed my pillow up to lean back against the headboard. The second that I'd reclined against the headboard, Pete's arm snaked around my hip and he placed his head on my stomach, as if I were his human pillow, and I was too tired to shove him away.

At least this way I could be sure he wouldn't choke on his vomit.

"I can hear him." He informed me sleepily, and I didn't have the heart to tell him that he was hearing my stomach rumbling, because I hadn't eaten anything other than donuts all evening. So instead I smiled back and carded my fingers through his hair idly, until we both dozed off. Which likely didn't take too long because at this point the weight of the entire day had settled on me, and I completely crashed. I hadn't even bothered to change out of my dress.

I mean, I could have. My PJ's are in Pete's room after all, but I figured my body had melded to the dress. We had become one. We were in a symbiotic relationship. But mostly, I was just way too lazy.

Exhaustion isn't something you hear much about with early pregnancy. It's all "morning sickness this" and "big boobs that", and while my boobs have swollen up to the size of small hot air balloons, the tiredness is the thing I notice the most.

This is my life now. In bed and passed out by 10:00. And if I'm complaining about exhaustion now, just wait until I have to deal with a newborn. Oy vey...


	23. Coming Together

**_A/N- A few days late, but what can I say, I'm lazy. ;)_**

 ** _I am dedicating this chapter to Couplest, for being such an angel and sending me the latest issue of Rogue & Gambit. Why can't those two crazy kids just be happy...?!  
_** ** _Please remember to review, because I really need your words of love as I draw closer to the conclusion of this... monster. I so enjoy reading everyone's reactions to the crazy scenarios I stick these guys in, it brings joy to my life. Which sounds much more pathetic than it is, I promise._**

* * *

The following does not reflect the views or opinions of Marvel or the author known as 'Kinetically Charmed'.

 **Entry number twenty three:**

The next morning was slightly awkward. I don't think that Piotr initially remembered much of what happened the night before, and so waking up with my uterus as his pillow was very strange indeed.

That was a super weird sentence, but I stand by it.

After jolting awake with a groan, he managed to roll onto his side and prop himself onto his elbow, painfully squinting at me through one eye for a long moment, before finally croaking out, "Did you sleep like that all night?"

I ignored the stupidity in his question (because of course I slept like that all night, I didn't slip underneath you while you were sleeping, idiot) and yawned, "Looks like it."

He leaned away from me a bit more with that questioning look on his face as his eyes traveled down my body, admiring my bridesmaid dress from the night before, "Like that?"

"You're a regular Sherlock Holmes." I quipped as I stretched my arms out over my head and stifled another yawn.

"Why?"

I shrugged, "You asked me to stay, so I stayed."

It looked as if he was going to say something in response, when his face turned a sickly shade of grey, and I grimaced, leaning away from him pathetically. "Are you gunna throw up? Because you look like it. Don't vomit on the dress, Piotr."

He forced down a swallow and somehow managed to push himself up to a sitting position at the edge of the bed. "I am Russian, we do not vomit."

"Ever?" I asked with a skeptical eyebrow raise, because I know that's bullshit.

"After drinking." He clarified, resting his head in his hands carefully, "We get mild... heartburn."

"Uh huh. Is the cure for this 'heartburn' to drink some vodka? Fight fire with fire?" I asked with a smirk, which caused him to peek over at me with a glare.

Apparently he didn't like my sarcasm, because after that point he reverted to being silently angry with me as he went about his morning routine, with the hangover that he definitely didn't have, because "he's Russian" and "he doesn't get hangovers". All the anger and outrage I'd been feeling the day before had pretty much evaporated when Pete drunkenly stated his defense last night, so I was trying my best just to keep the peace until we had a good opportunity to talk. Which definitely wasn't right away, because it was obvious that Piotr felt I was making too much noise by just blinking and existing.

We got showered and changed, and made our way downstairs for breakfast, and I figured that after a nice meal he would be in a much better mood to talk. I forgot to account for the _people_ who would be present in the kitchen. Although oddly enough, they weren't loud this time. The second we walked in, they were all suddenly tight lipped.

Complete hushed silence. That awkward kind of silence, you know? That silence you get when you know someone had just been talking about you right before you showed up...

Piotr apparently didn't find anything odd about this, because he grumbled his goodmornings before heading straight for the coffee pot while I made a mental note of the way Amara was eyeing me up "discreetly". Before I could ask what Amara was even doing there, Bobby spoke up.

"Fun night, hey Pete?" He stuffed a mouthful of protein bar into his face and winked, "Beer pong."

Pete paused for a moment with his coffee halfway to his mouth, recognition eventually passing across his features before mumbling, "He cheated." into his mug and taking a sip.

Kurt lowered his newspaper and furrowed his brow at Piotr, "Beer pong?"

"Yeah, Colossus here tried takin' on the _Antman_." Bobby snorted with a laugh, "And lost. Like, big time lost. Repetitively."

"Really?!" Kurt's eyes went wide with shock, and he looked at me for some reason. Like it's somehow my fault that Pete lost at beer pong and got drunk. Maybe if you hadn't been tongue dancing with Wanda Maximoff you could have been there to stop it yourself, Kurt.

"What about you, Kitty? Did you have too much to drink too?" Tabby asked with her patented smirk of trouble, before coolly taking a sip of her coffee without breaking eye contact.

"Yeah, you guys left pretty early." Ray pointed out.

And then suddenly Amara blurted out,

"You're pregnant." Before slapping a hand over her mouth.

Tabby swatted at her angrily, because apparently they'd planned on dragging it out and torturing me longer, or something.

"Uh..." I glanced over at Pete, hoping for some backup but instead finding him pinching the bridge of his nose and presumably grumbling about a headache.

"Is it true?!" Jubilee gaped at me with wide eyes, "Illyana posted it on her Insta! I didn't think it was true!"

"I totally called it." Bobby gloated as he took a sip of his coffee, "I knew she was getting fat."

"Oh f*** off." I snapped.

"Watch your mouth." Logan snapped, from the back corner of the kitchen, where I hadn't even realized he was sitting, "Especially in front of the baby." He added with a smirk. Because he's an ass.

"Oh my gosh!" Amara gasped and clapped her hands together, "This is so exciting! Is Pete the father?!"

What the hell kind of question is that, Amara?

"Well this is... certainly something!" Alison nodded, trying to appear enthusiastic and not quite hitting the mark, "Wait until Jenny finds-" A sharp elbow to her rib from Jubilee stopped her from finishing that thought. Piotr sighed and rubbed a hand over his face,

"This was not a good idea."

"Are you gunna keep it?" Tabby asked over her cup of coffee, and Ray hissed something at her under his breath. "What, I think it's a fair question." She responded defensively, turning back to me with a mischievous smile, "Are you gunna move back now?"

"Oh, I missed this!" Amara squeaked and Piotr shook his head. "You guys _have_ to invite me to the wedding!"

"... _very_ bad idea."

"Woah, wait. Let's backup a second. You're moving back? You know you can't join the team when you're pregnant." Bobby said as he stroked his beard, because he thinks it makes him look smart, "There are some serious liability issues there."

"Who said she's joining the team, she can move back and not be on the team." Tabby snarked back, shooting him a little look over her shoulder.

"Maybe she doesn't even _want_ to join the team." Jubilee countered, "Maybe she wants to be a housewife. There's absolutely nothing wrong with a woman choosing to be a wife and a mother above all else, as long as it's her _choice_."

"Ugh that sounds so boring." Tabby rolled her eyes skyward, "Besides, how could she be a housewife, they don't even have a house. And she's not even a wife."

" _Yet_." Amara smirked at me with a little wink.

I sucked in a breath, "Yep. This was a very bad idea." I looked back at Piotr, "Why don't we go eat breakfast... somewhere else. Anywhere else. Literally anywhere but here."

He downed that cup of coffee in one massively long chug and then set the mug down on the counter, not even bothering to answer as he turned on his heel and made his exit. The answer was _implied_.

I quickly hurried to follow him out of the kitchen just as everyone began to hum the Wedding March song, and then lead the charge out to the garage, taking it upon myself to snatch up the keys and hop in the drivers seat. Pete didn't seem to mind this at all, using the time in the car to rest his eyes and massage his temples, until we pulled into the hotel ten minutes later and I cut the engine.

He shot me a confused look through the corner of his eye and I stuffed the keys into my coat pocket with a shrug, "I thought we could grab breakfast with the bride and groom. It's free."

"We can't just walk in and get breakfast, Katya. Continental breakfasts are for _paying_ hotel guests." He pointed out with a frown, "Besides, what if they are not even in the restaurant? They just got married."

"We know the paying guests, it's totally fine. If anyone asks, just tell them you're staying in room 701, and your name is Gambit. Also, married people need to eat too." I countered as I climbed out of the car, "I _know_ Rogue. She's a breakfast person."

Rogue is a food person. Just food in general. She doesn't get those curves just by chance, you know.

Nobody even batted an eyelash at us when we waltzed in like we belonged there, and sure enough Rogue and Gambit were easily found in the dining room with a few plates between the two of them. Remy had a pair of sunglasses perched on his nose and a frown on his face as he poked away at a sausage, and Rogue had her mouth full of hash browns when we plopped down in the seats across from them with plates of our own.

"Good morning!" I said cheerfully, taking a small amount of joy in the way Remy winced at the sound of my voice. "Did you see the Hello Kitty waffle maker they have here?!" I shook my head as I stabbed a strawberry with my fork with a laugh, " _Hello Kitty._ "

Rogue knit her brow silently for a long moment before eventually saying, "What the hell are you doin' here?"

"I wanted to see you guys again before you take off for your honeymoon." I shrugged with a mouthful of strawberry, "Plus, free breakfast."

"Yeah well, you get what you pay for." Remy muttered before pushing the sausage to the side of his plate and moving onto the pancakes.

"It tastes fine to me." Rogue shrugged with a mouthful of hash brown. "Ain't nothin' like some greasy food after a night of drinkin'."

"I guess I just have a more refined pallet." He replied, turning to give her a grin, which she responded to with a little giggle.

Newlyweds.

"How are you two not hungover right now?" Piotr spoke up for the first time with a furrow of his brow and a hint of jealousy in his eye, "This makes no sense whatsoever. You were drinking _all day_."

"I got an old Lebeau family hangover cure. Midol, vitamin C, and a secret ingredient only passed down through the generations of the Lebeau clan." He stretched his arm out to wrap an arm around his bride with a grin, "An' now that Rogue's part of the family..."

She turned to him with a gooey little smile and a twinkle in her eye, and they nuzzled noses playfully, and totally unironically.

I pulled a face and muttered "Oh boy, here comes that morning sickness nausea again..."

Piotr surprisingly huffed out a laugh at my sarcasm as he chewed on his toast, and Rogue pulled her attention away from her new husband and back to her breakfast.

"You two seem to be getting along better." She observed, "Did you figure things out?"

I pressed my lips into a thin line and stared down at my Hello Kitty waffle, "Uh... no, not really. We haven't had much of a chance to talk yet."

There was a stretch of silence before Rogue simply said, "Oh." And then turned her attention back to her breakfast.

Remy on the other hand, had knit his brow at me thoughtfully and I could tell he was squinting at me from behind those stupid sunglasses of his, "You haven't had much of a chance to-"

"Shh baby." Rogue hushed him with a pointed look and a hand on his knee, "We talked about this, remember?"

"You... talked about this." I asked flatly, looking between the two of them with a quirked brow, "You talked about this? On your wedding night?"

Rogue rolled her eyes, "We just discussed how it would be best if we... let nature take its course." She flipped a hand in the air, "If ya'll are meant to be, you'll figure it out. Just like we did."

I somehow managed to suppress the urge to roll my eyes and chose not to press the matter anymore. I tried to at least. Until Remy lowered his sunglasses on his nose and gave the two of us a pointed look, saying,

"But you know, we're here. If you need any advice."

"Are you being for real right now? You think I'd take advice from a guy wearing sunglasses inside at 9 in the morning? You look like you're cos-playing as Tom Cruise in Risky Business, loser."

He simply gave me a calm smile and settled back into his seat, "I have sensitive eyes, minette. I might not be hungover but my eyes didn't get the memo. And you know that." Remy gave his head a shake as he turned back to his breakfast with a sigh, "Hateful and cruel words won't get you anywhere in a relationship, you know. You can't fight dirty. You need to be respectful and kind."

The worst part about it all is that Rogue and Remy are the dirtiest fighters I know, relationship wise. But now that they've been married for 12 hours, suddenly that's all changed.

"What Remy's tryin' to say," Rogue interrupted before I had the opportunity to point out Remy's hypocrisy, "We care about ya'll. And we wanna see you two happy. That's all."

"Right. We'll we're good." I snorted, turning back to my waffles with zero interest in continuing down this conversational path.

"Good." Rogue nodded, glancing between Piotr and I before going back to her hash browns. We were all silent for a few blissful moments before Remy turned to Pete and changed the subject.

"So, why are you hungover? Last I saw, you were relatively sober and having a deep conversation with Henri about goji berries. "

Pete sighed and the corners of his lips tugged down into a little pout, "I'm not hungover. I just have a drinking headache."

Rogue snorted, "Hate to break it to you buddy, but that's literally the definition of a hangover."

"It's not- I don't get hangovers." He grumbled into his coffee mug, "It is probably work stress or something."

Remy and Rogue exchanged a knowing look before Remy turned back to Pete and pursed his lips thoughtfully, "I hope you're not using alcohol as an escape."

"I wasn't-"

"You have to confront your issues head on." Remy continued on with his sage advice, "I mean, I get it. Rogue's a runner too. She runs from her problems until they build up, but we gotta put our foot down and say _no_. We gotta get to the root of that problem, none of this _silent treatment_ bullshit. Nobody actually likes the strong silent type, mon ami, that's a myth."

Piotr gave Remy a dry look, "Right. Thanks."

"Just remember the three C's of relationship. Confront, communicate and compromise." Remy said as he cut into another rubbery looking sausage with a head shake, "I read a book on this."

" _You_ read a relationship book." Piotr clarified with an arch of his thick eyebrow, and Remy nodded.

"I did. It was called _Coming Together_. 'Course, I thought it was porn when I bought it, but it was surprisingly useful." He said between bites of his food, "I was pretty annoyed at first, because the title was so misleading, but once I got passed that it was actually interesting."

"Wait, why would you need a book about _that_ in the first place? You need a book for that?" I chuckled and held my hand up for a high five, which no one reciprocated.

"I said I thought it was porn, Katherine, not an instructional book." Remy informed me with a frown, "Besides, if anyone needs an instructional book on that, it'd be this guy right here." He poked his fork towards Pete before turning to him with disappointment in his eyes, "Seriously, they're called condoms. Suit up, man. It ain't that complicated."

I clicked my tongue against the roof of my mouth in disgust and kicked Remy in the shin beneath the table, which apparently got him back on track.

"Look, the point I'm gettin' at is that relationships are all about sacrifice and compromise. You know?" He said between sips of coffee, "Compromise is key."

"Wow...That was such magical advice. I do not even know what to do with this brand new information you have presented to me." Piotr said, punctuating his sentence with an eye roll. "You are like relationship Yoda. You should write your own book."

Remy held up a hand to stop Pete's sarcasm train, "Hear me out. Take the burgundy tuxedo for example. Rogue didn't freak out, she made it work. She worked in the matching flowers, she rolled with the punches, and it was perfect, because I looked amazing."

"Yes, Gambit. I am aware of what the word compromise means. But thank you for explaining, you should put that in your book too."

I like hungover Pete. He's fun.

"Um, also, Rogue did nothing." I cut in, feeling a little bit indignant and defensive, "I'm the one who _compromised_ and worked in your stupid purple flowers so you could look like a tuxedo-wearing Disney princess."

"Incidentally, the tuxedo is now ruined because I vomited on it." Rogue added with her mouth full of eggs.

"You can wash vomit out of clothing, Rogue. You don't need to burn everything with vomit on it." I informed her with an eye roll of my own.

"Next time you're at the book store you should look for books on laundry." Piotr commented as he shoveled some more food into his mouth.

"You know, it's a really good thing to know that you're so comfortable dealing with vomit, because you're gunna have a little vomit machine squirt out of your lady parts." Remy said, regrettably, with a little wink as he chomped away on a piece of toast, "So, you're ahead of the game."

It appears we had lost the sarcasm contest.

Piotr sighed and shook his head, "Gambit..."

"What, I'm just _sayin'_." Remy responded with a little smirk. We all know how he loves to get under people's skin. "Just ask Mercy, she'll tell you _all_ about it, chere."

This was the point that Doug came to my rescue, dropping his plate down on the table between myself and Rogue, and pulling up a chair with a smile, "They have a Hello Kitty waffle maker here, guys."

Rogue rolled her eyes and let out a breath, "Of course, you can sit down here. The more the merrier."

He paused with his fork halfway to his mouth and shrugged, "Betsy's at the gym. I'm not gunna sit over there by myself like a schmuck." He turned to me with a snort and then proceeded to stuff the waffle into his mouth, "That is a damn good waffle."

I knit my brow and glanced at my watch, "Betsy's at the gym? It's a little late for the gym, isn't it?"

"She says she needs to work off the cocktails she drank last night." He said before turning to Piotr with a smirk, "Which reminds me, how's the beer pong champion holding up this morning?" He arched a brow with a little grin, "Maybe champion is a bit too strong of a word. Beer pong participant?"

Piotr shot him a wan smile, "You are hilarious."

"I know." Doug replied cheerily with another chomp of his waffle.

"Beer pong?" Rogue quirked an amused eyebrow at Pete from over her cup of coffee, "You played beer pong? At my wedding?"

It was clear she was both irritated and amused, but the fact that the whole thing was done and over with tamped that irritation down. Honestly, I think she was just relieved that she didn't have to think about it anymore.

Pete sighed and grumbled into his mug, "Mistakes were made."

Doug did not miss a beat. "Speaking of mistakes, how are you feeling?" He asked, turning to me expectantly.

I squinted at him with a frown, "Seriously?"

"The jokes just come to me, I can't pass them up." He shrugged before licking some whipped cream off his fork. "But yes, seriously. How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine."

He lowered his fork to fix me with a serious look, "Are you _sure_?"

"Yes! Geeze, I'm _fine_ , okay?!"

He frowned, "I'm just concerned for your well being."

"Don't be." Remy tossed in there, "She knows how to clean up vomit. She's good."

"Well that's good to know, especially since we'll be stuck on a seven hour flight together tomorrow." Doug nodded thoughtfully, going back to his waffle, "You know, just in case you miss the barf bag."

I quirked an unamused brow at him, "Maybe I'm not aiming for the barf bag, Douglas."

"You can sit next to Betsy then." He gave me a wink, because he knows I don't want to spend seven hours in a flying tube next to Betsy. I mean, she's a good enough work partner and all, but I couldn't make it seven hours listening to her thoughts on the keto diet. Someone would die. "Have you thought about going back to work at all?"

"Yeah." I nodded as I pushed the food around my plate mindlessly, "I want to get back as soon as possible. I'm hoping next week, but that might be a little over ambitious. You know how Martha is with paperwork."

Doug hummed in agreement, "Human Resources people are the worst."

"But I figure the sooner the better. I need to just get right back into it."

"Yes, you should definitely get back to work immediately. I am sure you're _much_ less stressed now." Piotr muttered sarcastically, and I turned to frown at him.

I pressed my lips together and fought the natural urge to clip something back at him, "I need to get things back to normal. That's all."

"Right. Normal."

"Well, not _normal_ , exactly." Doug interjected, because he thought he was being helpful, "She's definitely not going back in the field, she'll be at a desk in the office filling out paperwork. A hormonal pregnant woman with a gun is just a lawsuit waiting to happen, am I right?"

Remy fist bumped Doug across the table for his completely moronic joke and Piotr let out a deep, resigned sigh.

"Well, this coffee is terrible, so I am going to go take a nap in the car. Enjoy your honeymoon." He said politely, pushing back from the table and standing up.

"Oh, hey." Doug looked up to Pete with a little smile, "I was caught off guard last night by the news, and forgot to tell you congratulations."

Piotr looked genuinely shocked for a split second, I guess having gotten used to everyone reacting with sheer panic, but recovered quickly and mumbled his thanks with a nod, before trudging his way across the restaurant.

Remy shook his head as he watched Pete disappear through the doorway, "Congratulations for _what_?"

"You're an idiot." I snorted, pushing back from my seat to stand up and give Rogue a halfhearted smile, "I guess I should go too. Have a good time in Graceland. Take a picture of Elvis for me."

"Obviously." Rogue shrugged.

I still don't understand what on earth made them think Graceland was an ideal location for a honeymoon, especially considering the fact that neither one of them are particularly fond of Elvis, but I've never really understood those two to begin with. Who knows. Maybe they're doing it ironically. Or, more likely, they were being cheap, just looking for somewhere warm that they could go and have some married sex.

I resisted my natural urge to scoop them both up in a big hug with a long blubbering goodbye, because Rogue don't play that, and instead gave them a perfectly composed wave, and a promise to Skype when they got back, before heading out the door, following the path Pete had taken out to the car. I slid into the passenger seat, closing the door behind me and twisting in the seat to look over at Pete, who sat with his head back against the head rest and his eyes closed.

I chewed my lip as I tried to gather my thoughts, knowing that this was our opportunity to talk. No more excuses. Time to rip off that bandaid. I steeled myself and sucked in a breath.

"Look, I know you didn't mean anything by _assuming..._ anything." I started, rather pathetically, huffing out a cold puff of air, "What I mean is, you told me last night your stress reaction is to plan. And I get that. I over reacted, because you were freaking me out, and I'm sorry for that."

"Okay, so I _did_ talk to you last night. I thought that might have been a dream." Piotr sighed, rubbing a hand over his face, "Although I thought the beer pong was a dream too, and that didn't pan out."

"I love you." I said, not bothering to beat around the bush. Let's just get this all out in the open, already. Times waits for no man. "A _lot_. I love you, so much, and it's wigging me out, because everything happened _so fast_... and I promise you I'm not running. I'm not trying to avoid anything. I'm not going to dump you on the plane ride home. I just feel like I need to get back to work right now. I need to find some sense of... familiarity. I mean, three months ago I was eating takeout food for Christmas dinner in a rented Subaru in the middle of a stakeout, and now I'm here; In a serious, committed relationship, starting an effing _family_ , for crying out loud. This is a massively huge lifestyle shift to deal with."

Piotr's eyes were fixed on me but he didn't say a word as I scrubbed my fingertips against my forehead with a frustrated frown.

"And I get that you're concerned that I'm just using this as some elaborate excuse to escape, but I have concerns too, you know. You and Canadian Jenny put a pin in things, and look how that ended up. Maybe I'm just the next Jenny. Maybe I'll go away for a few weeks and you'll just forget all about me. Or! Maybe Canadian Jenny suddenly moves back from Canada. And then suddenly ol' Knocked Up Kitty doesn't look so appealing anymore, with her swollen ankles and her... swollen uterus or whatever."

Pete looked at me as if I'd suddenly sprouted another head, "What?! That doesn't even make any sense-"

"I know that." I cut him off quickly and shook my head, "But I can't help it. My brain is going haywire, Pete. It's just... it's just everything. _Everything_! It's these f***ing hormones..."

"I get it, Katya." He turned his attention back out the front windshield and heaved a tired sigh, "And I will try not to take it personally." He added lightly with a tiny little curve of his lips. "The timing is not ideal, obviously. We do not have the gift of _time_ to try and sort things out. But we will make this work."

I nodded silently and settled back into the seat as the heat in the car finally began to cut through the chill. After a few minutes in comfortable silence, he wordlessly reached over and took my hand in his.

"I love you too."

"Yeah, you told me last night. A few times, actually. Loudly." I smirked, giving his hand a little squeeze, "That wasn't part of your "dream"?"

"No. I mostly remember lots of cheering. And there was something about Robin Williams for some reason..." He trailed off with a thoughtful frown.

Surprisingly accurate, actually.

"Illyana was super embarrassed by it all, it definitely made it worthwhile." I smiled at the memory of her indignant outrage, "However she was excited by the prospect of taking the baby to Paris for the weekend for some cultural selfies for her Instagram. But only if it's a boy, because apparently girls are _out_."

"Over my dead body!" Pete scoffed, "Illyana is not allowed to take our baby _anywhere,_ ever. She cannot even keep a goldfish alive for more than a week, there is no way I would ever trust her with a human. Much less my _own_ human."

"Right?! Thank you!" I agreed wholeheartedly, "She'll be lucky to even _hold_ my human. Sorry, Auntie 'Yana, but mama knows you have butterfingers."

"We will have to make sure she's sitting down when she takes her selfies."

"There will be a strict _N_ _o phones around the baby_ rule, which will only apply to her. And Alex. For the same reason." I declared, and Piotr hummed in agreement.

I was glad we were on the same page here, because it's as if that girl is getting less responsible the older she gets, if that's even possible. And, well, Alex is just Alex. That's pretty self explanatory.

It wasn't much, but it was technically our first parenting decision.

We totally got this.


	24. Wisdom Smurf

_A/N- First and foremost, I want to apologize for the amount of time it took for me to get this chapter out. It was a difficult one for me to write for many different reasons, one of which being the fact that it is essentially the end, which is always harder to get through, and another being the sheer size of this thing (seriously, I split it into two because it just kept going...)_

 _However, there was yet another reason which I felt I needed to directly address. I received a few rather upsetting reviews, regarding the direction of the story, and frankly I was completely turned off from writing for a very long time. These reviews were not flames or rude in nature by any means, they were simple little reviews by readers who had certain suggestions and worries about Kitty's future. Namely, that she is pregnant, and that they felt she should not be pregnant.  
_  
 _There were only a few, who said things like "Get rid of the hecking thing!" or pointed out how awful it was for Kitty to want a baby right now... and I feel the need to use this platform for any younguns reading and say that this is not the way real life works.  
_  
 _Kitty is a grown woman, with a steady income, a home, and a strong support system. While slightly inconvenient, this is not an impossible situation, and I feel like people need to have it pointed out to them that you don't just decide to terminate a pregnancy based on inconvenience (and yes, this was one of the reviews)._  
 _The reviews were so upsetting to me that for the first time ever, I deleted them. And then didn't write for months._

 _Plus, X-Men Gold happened, and that was a whole other shit show I just couldn't deal with. Seriously you guys. WTF. Give my girl a break, Marvel._

 _Anyway, I'll step off my soapbox now, and let you enjoy the chapter, if there's anyone even left reading after a seven month hiatus. Although, we wait longer for new episodes of Sherlock... I'm not quite that bad._

 _Please do review, but also I ask you to be respectful of me in the process. I'm a delicate little flower, you guys._

* * *

The following does not reflect the views or opinions of Marvel or the author known as 'Kinetically Charmed'.

 **Entry number twenty four:**

I've now been back in London for four weeks.

Pete and I have been talking almost every day on Skype, so it hasn't been too bad, even though I definitely miss him. It's been good though, this time apart has been good. For both of us, you know? To kind of, re-evaluate and centre ourselves. Neither one of us need to be making any rash decisions right now, because we still have like... just over six months left. So it's fine. Everything is fine.

Work has definitely kept me on my toes too; working a desk job is certainly different from being in action. For one, I have weekends, so that's been nice. I also have a schedule, which has been helpful for making and keeping prenatal appointments. I mean, I've only been to one so far, but... you know, I was able to go. So there's that.

Speaking of my prenatal appointment, I'm officially 11 weeks pregnant. Which puts us a few weeks before the Costco date, so at least we won't have that in our heads for the rest of our lives. Silver lining, I guess. And there's totally only one of them in there, I had them double check at my first scan, just in case. At 11 weeks, baby is growing fingernails, the size of a fig, and somehow managing to make it next to impossible to function like a normal human being. I have very little energy for anything anymore, and struggle on an hourly basis to keep my meals down. Also, I eat 7 meals a day now. And snacks in between.

I've had a lot of extra time after work to catch up on shows on Netflix, though. And when I don't feel like I've had the energy sucked out of me from the inside, or like I'm going to vomit if I move, I've been in hyper planning mode, trying to map out my flat to figure out where I can put baby related item when the time comes.

So, you know, I've been doing good.

I was in the middle of Googling the dimensions of a standard crib and pulling out my tape measure, at 8:30 in the evening, when there was a knock on my front door. I was planning on ignoring it, because I wasn't expecting anyone, and I was really in the zone with the measuring tape, but after the third time knocking Wisdom's muffled voice drifted through the door.

"C'mon Pryde, open up. I have pastries."

I did really want the pastries. So I reluctantly snapped up my measuring tape with a sigh and made my way over to the door, pulling it open with a frown.

"You'd better have some eclairs."

He happily opened up the lid to show me that he did in fact have eclairs, and I stepped aside to let him in.

"I've got some tarts too, but they're waiting for me at my place." He announced with a cheeky little smirk, making me instantly regret letting him into my home. He made his way to the kitchen where he dumped the box of pastries before shucking his suit jacket and making himself comfortable.

"What exactly are you doing here?" I asked with a quirked eyebrow.

"Doug said you've been sick. I just wanted to... check in." He explained quickly, turning to locate a few plates from my cupboards before making his way back to the pastry box and carefully plucking out two eclairs.

"You wanted to _check in_." I repeated dubiously, accepting the plate as he handed it to me. His eyes flicked down to my budding baby bump for a fraction of a second before turning back to close up the box of pastries.

I didn't tell Wisdom I was pregnant. In fact, I don't think I told _anyone_ I was pregnant. Word just somehow leeched out once I was put on desk duty, and people started talking. It's a weird feeling, having everyone at work know that you're growing something in your lady parts. You feel exposed. Like coming to work with no pants on. Which is not something I've ever done, but I can imagine it would feel pretty exposing.

"Right. Well, I'm fine. As you can see." I replied shortly, "Thanks for the eclair..."

I trailed off, hoping he would take his cue to exit gracefully, but of course he didn't.

"I assume you still don't keep any tea stocked..." Wisdom mumbled, turning to pull open a few of my cupboards to nose around, not even bothering to wait for an answer before pulling out a mug and setting it into the Keurig machine, "You don't even have a bloody coffee pot, just _this_ daft thing."

"You bought that for me."

"Yes, and it's bloody _stupid_." He continued to complain, "It doesn't even make good coffee."

I gave him a shrug as I went ahead and poured myself a glass of milk, "I mostly use it for hot chocolate."

"It doesn't even make good _hot chocolate_."

"If you hate it so much then why are you making a drink, genius?"

"Because I'm not going to have my pastries _dry_ , like a psychopath-"

"You could always have milk, like a normal person." I grumbled under my breath.

"-And you don't have any scotch, which is what I normally eat my pastries with."

Sadly, I'm only about 75% sure he was joking.

"Can we change the subject, please?" I sighed, resigning myself to the fact that he wasn't going to leave, and that he was never going to stop complaining about my coffee, and made my way over to the couch with my plate.

"Sure." Wisdom nodded, waiting for the Keurig machine to spit out its lukewarm coffee into his mug, "How did the bride and groom enjoy their honeymoon? Are they divorced yet?"

" _No_. That's a terrible thing to ask, Peter."

"Frost and I have a bet going, if they make it past three months she owes me fifty quid." I rolled my eyes, which he somehow saw even though my back was to him, "Don't make that face, I said they _would_ make it past three months."

"Uh huh." I grunted as Wisdom joined me on the couch with his coffee and eclair.

"There's no way they'll make it past a year, but I definitely think they've got three months in them." He added casually, taking a sip of his black coffee, giving it a silent, judgmental grimace before setting it down on the coffee table.

"I'll have you know, they had a great time on their honeymoon. Don't be so quick to judge." I said defensively. Which was a total and complete lie. They'd had a terrible time in Memphis. The bed was lumpy- Rogue has a terrible time sleeping in different beds- and Remy found a lipstick stain on one of the "clean" glasses in the bathroom on the third night, so they called it quits on the cheap Memphis hotel and drove down to Disney World to try and recreate Remy's Eat, Pray, Love experience from February.

Again, would it kill people to bring me along once. Seriously.

Anyway, Rogue hated The Happiest Place on Earth, as expected. She said there were too many kids, and daytime fireworks shows, and just general merriment. I imagine she liked the Haunted Mansion though, because it probably reminded her of her childhood. However, she told me the beds at the resort were nice and comfortable, so I guess they just stayed in their room and had lots of Mickey sex.

Honeymoon win, I guess.

"So..." He trailed off, apparently searching for some small talk topic, "Have you re-adapted to London life yet?" He asked with a crooked little smile, "No driving on the wrong side of the road or anything? Are you back to calling them "pants" instead of trousers again? Because you remember that means something different over here."

I pressed my lips into a thin smile, "Yeah. I remember." I gave my head a shake and furrowed my brow, "Pete, what is going _on?_ You're acting weird."

"I'm not acting _weird_."

"You dropped into your pregnant ex-girlfriends flat for tea and crumpets. That's pretty weird."

He worked the muscles in his jaw, his eyes darting quickly over to my tiny baby bump yet again, before he let out a sigh and pinched the bridge of his nose, "I... I just... need to talk. To you."

There was something in the way he said it. His demeanor had shifted suddenly, growing serious and purposeful, and he didn't even take the opportunity to complain about the lack of tea some more, and I felt this tiny bubble of panic begin to take root deep down inside of me.

He needed to _talk_ to me.

He needed to talk to me about _feelings_. This is why he was so uncomfortable and slightly awkward... he was trying to broach the topic of _us_. Again.

"Petal, seeing you last month at-"

"Pete is probably moving here." I blurted out before my brain could stop my mouth from moving. "I mean, we... talked about it briefly, but yeah, he's... he's definitely considering it."

Wisdom sat up and gave me the most peculiar look, "Why in God's name would he do that?!"

"Because we love each other. And we're having a baby." I said carefully.

"In _here_?" Wisdom clarified, glancing around my apartment with a frown, "Into this shoe box?! Are you completely off your trolley?! You'd struggle finding room for a tiny baby and a crib in this place, but that tosser's as big as an elephant! How the buggering hell do you think _he_ could fit in here?!"

"Uh-"

"Furthermore, he lives in a bloody mansion in America. Do you know what mansions have, love? _Space_." Wisdom scoffed before taking a long gulp of his coffee. He sighed as he set the mug back down on the coffee table and fixed me with a frown, "Look, I know it isn't my place to say anything, but _someone's_ got to."

I bristled a bit, bracing myself for the awkardness to come, "Peter..."

"I care about you Pryde, and I-"

"We don't work, Peter. We've tried it already, and you know we don't work. You're too... independent, and I'm too clingy, and we have different priorities." I interrupted him swiftly, deciding to take a more direct route this way to avoid beating around the bush. I needed to just shut this puppy down. "We discussed this all at length, remember? I mean, don't get me wrong, I care about you too. But... you know, platonic caring. And I'm with Piotr now, and our priorities are... well... here." I placed a hand on my tummy to make my point, and Wisdom's eyebrows shot up in silence.

"Are you finished?"

"...Yes."

"What I was trying to say, is that I care about you, and I can't just sit by and bite my tongue while you've got your head stuck so far up your arse that you can see out of your bellybutton." He took a bite of his eclair and gave his head a shake, "I mean really, Pryde. I didn't want you to have _my_ child, what in God's name would make you think I'd find you more appealing when you're baking another mans bun?"

"Um, ouch. Pregnant women are hot, okay? I can't control who is suddenly attracted to me. I'm effing glowing." I snapped defensively, "Also, you were acting weird."

"I'm acting weird because you're growing a person." He flicked another uneasy glance towards my belly, "That's weird."

"It's not weird, it's natural. It's literally human biology."

"So is takin' a piss, but watching someone do it is _weird_."

I pinched the bridge of my nose and squeezed my eyes shut, "So you came to insult the hell out of me, got it."

He let out a sigh, and reached forward to deposit his eclair plate on the coffee table next to his disgusting Keurig coffee. "I didn't come to insult you, Petal. I came to talk some sense into you. You are... massively overestimating this entire issue. Which, you must admit, is something you are prone to do from time to time, yeah?"

"I'm not _overestimating_ anything." I scoffed with an eye roll.

"You are, Kitty. You're making a mountain out of a mole hill, so to speak."

"This _is_ a mountain." I flicked a hand towards my very un-mountain like belly, and shot out a breath, "Figuratively."

"No, it's not. You don't love your job anymore, why are you fighting so hard to try and make it work? _Quit_. Move back to America. Problem solved."

"You don't understand-"

"Of course I understand, Pryde. I've lived with you. I _know_ you. I know how you operate. You don't want to admit that you're _over_ this dream career, and that you've been over it for a long time. You loved it, at one point. And you're clinging to that memory for dear life. But it's done, Kitty. You don't love it anymore. I've seen what you look like when you do; When you've got that passion in your belly and that fire in your eye... That's been gone for a long time. Get out while you still can." He rubbed a hand over his face and sighed, "You have the benefit of my years of experience and wisdom on your side, so take my advice, alright?"

I frowned at him, "You _really_ think you're wise?

"It's my name, innit?"

"You aren't a Smurf, Peter. You weren't named for your qualities."

He fixed me with that stare of his that he always gets when he's done with my bullshit, and cocked his head to the side thoughtfully, "I'm right though, aren't I?"

I squared my jaw and shot out a breath, "Look, I know that being a field agent isn't... an option anymore. And I'm fine with that. I'm fine with pivoting the direction of my career-"

"Admit it, Katherine." He interrupted me, rudely, still piercing me with that no-bullshit stare.

I crossed my arms and frowned, acting a little bit petulant as I turned my head to the window, "I'm not going to admit anything. You can't just come in here, acting like some big shot know it all, who-"

"C'mon Kitty, we haven't got all evening, now."

"You're _not_ right, and you _don't_ know me." I snapped, smacking my hands down on the couch, feeling the emotional dam begin to burst inside of me. "I'm not clinging onto anything, Peter, least of all a stupid job. This is just... it's just all too much, all too soon, and... I can't go from being this self sufficient career woman, to some... unemployed, pregnant _housewife_ , who drops everything just for a man. It's the _principle_ of the thing, okay?"

"Right. So instead, you're going to let a perfectly nice Russian upend his entire life and move across an ocean so you can keep a career you don't even enjoy anymore for... what principle again?"

I aggressively swiped at the tears that began rolling down my cheeks, "I don't want to be some... pathetic failure."

At this, Pete let out a laugh, "Pryde, you are _anything_ but a failure. Pathetic, yes. _Dramatic_ , yes. That one I'll give you. But nobody would _ever_ call you a failure." He turned to face me, pressing his lips into a thin line and knitting his brow, "You are absolutely brilliant, at everything you choose to do. Even when you fail, you do it so fantastically, and with such grace..."

I snorted and rolled my eyes, scrubbing away a few more tears.

"Alright, that grace bit was a bit much. You've never been known for your gracefulness, have you?" The corner of his mouth twitched up and he chucked me on the chin to try and coerce a smile out of me. "Love, if being an unemployed, pregnant housewife, is what you want, then embrace it. And if anyone tries to put you down over it, you give them my number, because I have no qualms pistol whipping a woman. That sounded far worse out loud than it did in my head, but you know what I meant."

I cracked a smile in spite of myself, and Wisdom grinned.

"And furthermore, you're not doing anything just for _some man_. You're doing it for this little one in here." He tapped my little bump and his mouth pulled down into a frown, "Dedication to this line of work comes with a laundry list of regrets. It's part of the sacrifice one makes for the job. For people like me, the job is always top priority. No matter what. Don't be like me Kitty. Don't make these sacrifices, all for a company which would just as easily kill you off rather than fire you, just to avoid paying out a severance."

I snorted, " _Now_ who's being dramatic."

"The point is, that to them, you're replaceable. To the ones who truly matter, you could never be replaced." He said seriously, and if I hadn't already done the 'you can't still be in love with me' thing, I would have sworn there was a double meaning to everything he was saying. He let shot out a breath and sat back, slapping a hand on his knee, "You already know all this anyway, Pryde. Besides, you can easily pivot your career path in America. In eleven months or... however long it takes for that thing to... come out, find a new dream job. So... just get your head out of your arse."

I frowned at my eclair and pursed my lips, trying my best to ignore that sinking feeling that Wisdom was actually right, because I hate it so much when Wisdom is right about _anything._

I worried my lip between my teeth and shook my head, "You make it sound so simple."

"Because it _is_ simple, Kitty." He replied flatly, giving me a level look, "Here, I'll make it even easier on you; You're fired."

"You can't fire me, Wisdom. You don't have that kind of power."

"Are you _sure_ about that? I'm pretty powerful, you know."

I sighed, choosing not to pull at that thread, and picked at my eclair, "The funny thing is that I was actually pretty seriously thinking about moving back, before all this happened." By _all this_ , I was referring to the _being knocked up_. Which I assumed Wisdom understood. "I'd been talking to the Professor about a position on staff, starting in the fall. Just... getting all my ducks in a row. And then it _happened_ , and it was like the rose coloured glasses had been slapped off my face, you know? And then it just felt like... everything was up in the air..."

Wisdom nodded thoughtfully for a moment, before saying, "Alright, well I'm gunna take off now."

"What?" I balked at him as he stood up and flipped his jacket back on. I stood up and rounded the couch to watch him stuff his arms through the sleeves and move back to the pastry box on the counter, "I'm in the middle of pouring my heart out here, and you're just going to _leave_?!"

He grabbed another eclair from the box, stopping to blink at me blankly, "You weren't... done? I thought you were finished. There's more?"

I gave him a bewildered look and shook my head, "How could you _possibly_ think I was finished?!" The sound of my phone ringing and buzzing to life on the coffee table interrupted my indignant reply. I snatched the phone up and glanced at the display, muttering, "It's Pete."

"Perfect. Now you can pour your heart out to your _boyfriend_ , I gave that job up for a reason, Petal." He replied with a little half smirk and a wink, stealing yet another eclair from the box to take with him on the road. Let's be honest, Peter, you didn't give up the job, you were fired.

I gave my eyes a roll and silently waved him off as I swiped the answer button on my phone, "Hey babe, I wasn't-"

" _It's me._ "

"...Rogue?" I frowned, noticing Pete hesitate in the doorway with an eclair halfway to his mouth, through the corner of my eye. "Why are you calling from Pete's phone? What's going on?"

 _"I just... I thought I should call you, I know that you and Pete have your stupid_ date _calls or whatever..."_ She sighed, the hesitation in her voice enough to instill panic, _"Pete was... sort of in an accident."_

My heart rate spiked through the roof, but I somehow managed to exhale and say, "Is he okay? What- what happened?"

Rogue let out a breath and replied, " _I don't know the details exactly, but he was trying to help an old lady with her car. I guess that didn't turn out so well... It doesn't look good."_

"It doesn't-" I swallowed hard, vaguely aware of the fact that Wisdom was now standing in front of me with his business face on, watching me carefully, "Is he there? Can I talk to him?"

 _"He's in... the back room thing in the hospital. The doctors or nurses are working on him. Besides he's pretty messed up."_

I nodded, even though she clearly couldn't see me, and weakly replied, "Yeah."

"Anyway, _I don't think he's gunna make it this time. Get some sleep, I'll keep you posted, okay?"_

There was a ringing in my ears, and Wisdom was helping me sit down, or maybe I was blacking out and he was just making sure I didn't fall and crack my head open. "Pryde." He said firmly, bringing me back to my senses. My eyes focused on him again and I sucked in a staggered breath.

"There was an accident." My voice broke and I shook my head, "I should be there. I should have been there, Peter. I shouldn't be _here_! I have to go." I pushed myself back up to my feet and looked around the room, "I have to pack, I have to go back _now_."

"Calm down. We'll get you there, alright love? Go pack some things." He pulled his own cell phone out of his jacket pocket and quickly dialed, turning to speak in clipped, hushed tones, and I robotically made my way to my room to throw some things into a suitcase.

It should be noted that I wasn't in the best frame of mind, and I'm sure my suitcase is just a mixed-bag-of-crap, but the point is that it was packed.

I never thought I would utter these words, but thank God Wisdom was there. He took control and ushered me to the airport, and made sure I didn't strangle anyone in the process of getting my mixed-bag-of-crap checked, and then he escorted me through security.

The expedited security checks are definitely a perk I'll miss when I leave M:13. I didn't even need to take my shoes off, which is a really big deal for an emotional pregnant lady. I'm not entirely sure I'd have been able to get them back on again, in my stressed out state of mind. Plus the belly. I mean, it's not huge exactly, but it's still a whole thing.

Bending is uncomfortable for me now, so I'll take all the help I can get.


	25. Coming Home

**_A/N- Thanks so much for all the support and reviews everyone, you've all been so fantastic! We're nearing the end, so I'm going to keep this note short, because I get all verklempt when I think about it ending. There is an epilogue coming, hopefully sooner rather than later, but you know how I can be. So no promises. Please be sure to review, which will definitely help me find the motivation needed to write the end!_**

* * *

The following does not reflect the views or opinions of Marvel or the author known as 'Kinetically Charmed'.

 **Entry number twenty five:**

I'm not exactly sure what happened after the security check, my flight didn't board until 3:30, and there's no way I got any sleep, but to be honest everything after Rogue saying "he's not gunna make it" was just a massive blur. I went into some sort of fugue state. Stress induced autopilot. And before I knew it, it was mid-morning and I was in an Uber on my way from JFK to Bayville, which might I add, set me back a pretty penny.

The entire trip did, really. Last minute flights from London to New York don't come cheap. This wouldn't have been an issue, of course, had I been living in New York with Piotr, instead of trying to "normalize" myself in London like an idiot.

The Uber driver pulled through the mansion gates, and drove up the long, sprawling driveway to the front door, and I'm pretty sure I jumped out of that car before it had even stopped. I ran up the stairs and phased through the front door, grabbing the nearest passerby by the shoulders and shouting,

" _ **Where is he?!**_ " In his face.

Unfortunately, the passerby was a student, who I undoubtedly traumatized for life. His eyes went comically wide and there was a hint of terror on his face as he squeaked, "M-Mr. Wagner...!"

"Kitty?" Kurt appeared at the student's side, looking a mixture of surprised and confused, "You're back! What are you doing here..." He trailed off, his eyes sliding down to inspect the death grip I had on the student's shoulders. I instantly released them and clenched my hands into fists, willing myself to remain as calm as possible.

" _Where is Piotr?!_ " I barked, in a most un-calm manner, and Kurt furrowed his brow, clearly taken back by my demeanor.

"He's downstairs."

Of course. The Med. Bay, duh.

Kurt's eyes drifted down to my bump and he sobered up a bit, "Is everything alright? Are you-"

I didn't hear the rest of what he said, because I didn't have time to stand around and catch up about the weather with Kurt. I made a beeline for the staircase because I had no time to waste standing around waiting for an elevator, and raced down the stairs, plowing through the sub basement doors and tearing through the hall like the Tasmanian Devil on speed. I whizzed past a few students on my way, before finally slamming through the Med. Bay doors, coming to a stop as I gasped for breath.

I'm a little bit out of shape.

I haven't been much in the mood for endurance exercise, what with all the throwing up.

Dr. McCoy and Remy were both standing next to the sink across the room. Dr. McCoy's glasses were low on his nose, and he had Remy's hand lifted up to his face for closer inspection, but they both turned to stare at me in shock as I braced my hands on my knees and managed to wheeze, "Pe-Pete..." Between gasped breaths of air.

"What the hell? What are you doing here?" Remy asked, watching me with zero concern as I basically died in the doorway. "Damn, minette. You got fat. You should worko- OW!" He yelped suddenly, jerking his hand away from Hank with a scowl, and a slew of French curse words.

"Your hand is now splinter free, Mr. Lebeau." Hank announced with a glimmer of mirth in his eye as he set the tweezers down on the tray next to him and pulled his latex gloves off, "No more wooden bo-staffs, please. I know you like the sound they make when you hit things, but they just aren't a wise choice for you."

Remy continued to scowl at Hank, who turned to me- still trying to breathe in the doorway- and frowned, "As happy as I am to see you again Kitty, I must advise that you refrain from running around to the point of exhaustion, it isn't-"

"Where's Piotr?!" I breathed, finally regaining the ability to speak.

"Piotr?" Hank furrowed his brow, "I believe he's with his class in the Danger Room. They're using a new program designed to reenact-"

I spun around on my heel and took off before he finished his thought, racing back down the hall and around the corner to the control room. I came to a screeching halt at the doorway and the door swished open for me, revealing a class of students apparently watching a Civil War reenactment in the Danger Room, and Piotr leaning on a pair of crutches with a smile on his face.

I let out a little whimper at the sight of him and sighed, "Pete..."

The smile vanished from his face when his eyes fell on me, "Katya? What is wrong?"

The immense amount of relief at seeing him alive and coherent flooded my system, and can be blamed for my actions. Without a second thought, I ran across that control room, slamming into his solid form hard enough to knock him slightly off balance, and pulled his head down to meet mine.

And then I kissed him. I kissed him hard. Like, I'm talking I'm-so-relieved-you're-alive hard.

After that went on for a few seconds, he pulled back with a stuttered breath in an attempt to compose himself. "What is going on? Are you alright?"

"Am _I_ alright?" I laughed with a choked sob, pulling him back down to pepper his face with kisses, "I thought you were dying! I didn't think I'd make it in time, and that I was going to find you dead! Rogue told me- Well, she basically told me-" I blubbered incoherently, "Why- why are you on crutches and not dying?!"

Piotr's eyes widened slightly and he blinked down at me as he tried to unpack everything I'd just verbally tossed at him. He didn't try for long, before he plastered on an incredibly forced smile for the children and cleared his throat, "Class, you remember Ms. Pryde."

This was when I remembered that there were literally dozens of pre-teens in the room, staring at us. Smirking, and giggling, and I'm pretty sure at least a couple of them were taking pictures of my mental breakdown. I can relate to Briteny on a much deeper level now. I was one step away from shaving my head, metaphorically speaking.

"Why don't we... go talk in the hall?" Piotr suggested to me before crutching his way over to the door with me trailing behind. He didn't even bother leaving any instructions for the class before he left, which is how I know I'd really caught him off guard.

We stepped out through the automatic doors into the hall, and Piotr led the way around the corner for some semblance of privacy, glancing over his shoulder to make sure the busy-body preteens were minding their business.

"Alright. Start over." He instructed.

"Rogue called me last night- Or... the night before? I don't even know what day it is anymore... she called, and I hauled ass down to the airport."

" _Why_?" Piotr asked, looking rather confused still, "It was _barely_ an accident-"

"That's not what she said! She said that you were in an accident with an old lady, and that it didn't look good, and that you were pretty messed up, and that I couldn't talk to you because the doctors were working on you, and that you weren't going to make it. She said you _weren't going to make it_."

He blinked at me and then shook his head with the trace of a smile on his lips, "There is a chance that you misinterpreted the information."

"She said you _weren't going to make it_!"

"To the _phone_! I asked her to call you because I wasn't going to make our phone date, Katya! I would have called myself, but I was "messed up" on pain medication. Because I broke my foot, when the woman I was helping confused the gas for the break, and ran over it. And the doctors were trying to get the cast on..." He trailed off, looking down at the white plaster on his foot to emphasize his point. I grumbled under my breath some unsavory things about Rogue and her message relaying abilities, and Piotr reached out, running his hands up my arms with his crutches tucked firmly in place. "I am sure she did not mean to make you worry."

"I don't know, she's got a pretty weird sense of humour, I wouldn't put it past her."

"She would not want to put that kind of stress on you in your... condition."

I sighed and gave my head a shake with a frown, "It doesn't matter, it's not her fault anyway, it's my own stupid fault. I never should have gone back. If I'd been here in the first place I wouldn't have needed to spend an obscene amount of money to rush back in a blind panic."

He dipped his head to the side and tucked my hair behind my ear, "It is not your own stupid fault, Katya. You did what you had to do; You went home."

"No." I shook my head, "It was wrong. I was wrong. I thought I needed everything to just go back to normal... to just try and force things to stay the same as much as I could, but things aren't the same anymore. My job is filled with boring desk work because I can't handle the stress of field work anymore, my flat is so small and empty and lonely... and I know that I wanted to stay focused on my career, and that I didn't want to lose myself in all of this, but what the hell was I thinking?! It's not about just me anymore, Piotr. We're in this together, and I should never have tried to make you move-"

"You did not try to make me do anything I was not already willing to do, Katya." He interrupted calmly, "We will make it work."

"I don't want to _make it work_." I shook my head petulantly, and Piotr pursed his lips with a little confused frown.

"What... are you saying?"

"I'm _saying_ that I love London, but it's not my home anymore. This is my home. _You_ are my home. The whole time I was on the plane back, thinking I was losing you, thinking that I was going to have to raise a baby by myself, and that you'd never even get to meet your own kid..." I trailed off, my voice growing pinched with the struggle to control my emotions, "I can't lose you."

"You won't." He replied soothingly, stroking his thumb over my jaw with that little twinkle in his eye that he gets.

"I want to marry you."

His thumb stopped stroking and he stared at me for an agonizingly long moment before blinking blankly and opening his mouth to say, "Uh..."

"Aren't you bein' paid to babysit or something?" Remy's voice cut Pete off, and the two of us both turned to look at him, standing at the corner with a frown as he jerked his thumb over his shoulder, "You better get back there mon ami, I think those kids are starting a Fortnight tournament in the Danger Room. That's a litigation nightmare. Scooter would never let you hear the end of it if the kids went all Hunger Games, although it wouldn't be terrible to thin out some of the kids around here. It is starting to get crowded..."

"Yes, right." Piotr nodded, remembering his teaching responsibilities. He dropped his hand back to the crutch under his arm and glanced back at me, "Why don't you go back to my room and get some sleep? We can... talk more when I am finished, yes?"

I nodded silently, watching as Pete asked Remy to make sure I got to his room alright, as if I'd been brain damaged and couldn't find my own way or something, before giving me a nod and crutching his way off around the corner, back to his class in the Danger Room.

"Come on, let's get you in bed." Remy said with a sigh, rolling his eyes at the absurdity of it all, muttering "Top ten things I never thought I'd say to you..."

"Oh God." I groaned, dropping my face into my hands dramatically.

"Relax, I'm just joking. It's _true_ , but I was just joking." Remy said, turning to escort me through the hall back to the elevator, "Besides I'm married now, I can't just go around bedding people anymore. Rogue said. Also, you ain't really my type. And no offense, but you've really let yourself go in the past month."

I sighed and rolled my eyes to him, "I'm _pregnant_ , Remy."

"Potato tomato." Remy shrugged, "Mercy never gained weight all over like that, is all I'm sayin'. It wouldn't kill you to hop on a treadmill. You wanna keep Pete's eye from wandering back to Jenny, after all..."

"Oh _God_." I groaned again, "I'm such an idiot..."

"It's not that big of a deal, just, you know... lift some weights. Take the stairs. Cut back on the sugar. You sure you're not havin' twins...?"

I ignored his comment and ran a hand over my face, "Who flies across an ocean, thinking her boyfriend is dying because she can't understand a phone call, and then upon finding him alive, spontaneously asks him to marry her?! Who _does_ that?!"

Remy blinked at me for a moment before bursting out into a deep belly laugh, "You _are_ an idiot." He laughed some more and then shook his head, "No wonder Pete looked like he'd seen a ghost when I walked up. What'd he say?"

"That's the worst part, he didn't say anything! He just went _Uhhh_ , and then you walked up and he got the hell out of there."

We stopped at the stainless steel doors of the elevator and Remy punched the button with another little chuckle, "Damn minette, you do know how to charm a man..."

"Maybe I should just tell him I didn't mean it. You know, like... just tell him that when I said I wanted to marry him, I meant like, _eventually_." I anxiously ran my hand over my belly and chewed my lip, stepping into the elevator behind Remy.

" _Did_ you mean it?"

"Yes, of course I meant it." I replied without a seconds hesitation. And it only took a near death experience to get me there.

Remy shrugged, his hands tucked into his jean pockets as he stared idly at the closed elevator doors. "I wouldn't worry about it, petite. Pete's crazy about you. It ain't like he's gunna dump you just for being a psychopath, he's already pretty familiar with your ways." He pursed his lips thoughtfully and nodded before adding, "Maybe play it cool for a bit, just in case."

I sucked in a little gasp as a whole new set of worries dawned on me, "Wait, what if Pete _does_ think I just meant like, eventually?! And then he'll never actually answer me, because he doesn't even realize I was asking anything... just making a stupid Kitty comment... Do I clarify? Should I rephrase and ask him again?!"

My stomach growled of it's own accord and Remy rolled his eyes, reaching into his trench coat pocket and pulling out a piece of beef jerky. This sounds like a euphemism, but it's not. He wordlessly handed the dried meat over to me as the elevator lurched to a stop.

"I said _play it cool_ , Kitty." He said when I plucked the questionable piece of beef jerky from his hand before he stepped out of the elevator and started down the hall towards Pete's room. "I'm beginning to understand why you were on stress leave to begin with, you're a f***ing spaz."

Really, Remy? You're _just_ beginning to understand this?

"Why exactly do you have smoked meats in your coat pocket?"

He glanced over at me, pinching the beef jerky between my thumb and forefinger with a grimace, because God only knows where it's been. Or what else has been in that pocket. He rolled his eyes and gave his head a shake, "Relax, I always carry food with me. In a _bag_. It's sanitary." He opened his coat and pulled out a little baggie of baby carrots to prove his point.

" _Why_?" I asked as I gave in to the hunger and began gnawing on the beef jerky.

"I get hungry." He answered dismissively, "Plus, it's always a good idea to have extra projectiles, in a pinch."

I knit my brow at this, suddenly incredibly intrigued by the mystery that is Remy's coat, "So what, you run out of cards and chuck some baby carrots and your sandwich at your opponent?"

He snorted as if I was an idiot and shook his head, "I wouldn't throw a _sandwich_ , the meat's too floppy."

He's clearly given this a lot of thought, and somehow I'm the idiot.

We stopped at Pete's bedroom door and Remy pulled out his lock picking kit. I realize I could have just phased through the door, but sometimes I like to throw him a bone and let him feel useful. He popped the door open after a few seconds and held it open for me with a gallant sweep of his arm, and I stepped inside the room, anxiously chewing the stick of beef jerky with a frown.

"Try to get some rest, petite. It's been a long day." He said, without even making a crack about me not being so _petite_ anymore.

"Yeah. Thanks." I grumbled. He gave me a nod before stepping back into the hall and pulling the door shut behind him, leaving me alone to stew in my own stupidity.

After stuffing the rest of the beef jerky into my mouth, I kicked my shoes off and scooted them next to my suitcase, which someone had apparently brought up after I'd abandoned it in a blind craze, and then I tucked myself into Piotr's bed, shimmying down between the sheets. I tried my best to sleep, I really did, but I think I was just far too over stimulated. And after 20 minutes of trying to force my body to rest, I let out a frustrated sigh and pulled myself out of bed before moving over to my suitcase. I plopped the blue wheelie bag onto the foot of the bed and tugged the zipper open, immediately noting that I had packed four bras, and apparently no socks.

It should also be noted that three of the four bras don't even fit me anymore. Thanks hormones.

Before I had the chance to dig any deeper into the mixed-bag-of-crap, the doorknob twisted and the door slowly pushed open. Piotr glanced at the empty bed before finding me with a bra in each hand at the foot. He pushed the door open further with his shoulder and crutched his way into the room with a frown.

"I thought you would be asleep."

"I tried." I shrugged, pushing my bras back into the suitcase and closing the flap, "I slept on the plane a bit. Probably."

He gave me a skeptical look and pressed the door shut behind him, tossing some work related folder onto his desk, "Probably?"

"Well, it was all a bit of a blur." I clasped my hands behind my back and forced a smile for his benefit. "What are you doing back so soon anyway? Your class can't be over already."

"Storm felt that my frantic girlfriend tearing through the mansion like a banshee was a good reason to take off early." He explained, maneuvering over to his dresser to rummage around in a drawer as he spoke, "She insisted that I come and make sure you were alright."

He raised an eyebrow at me from over his shoulder and I nodded.

"I am."

"Are you sure?" He asked, narrowing his eyes with a hint of concern.

"Yes, _totally_."

He pursed his lips skeptically as he eyed me, his gaze eventually dropping down to my abdomen, and a smile erased the worry from his face.

"You are showing already."

"Yeah, I know. I'm like a whale already." I snorted, turning back to my suitcase to zip it up and shove it aside. Piotr took a few steps toward me and turned me back around to face him, so he could continue to admire my newly acquired curves. He placed a hand on my belly and his eyes twinkled with a smile.

"You're a _beautiful_ whale."

"Woah, tone down the charm, buddy. You already got into my pants." I smirked playfully. If anyone else had said it, I would have lost my hormonal shit but for whatever reason, anything Piotr says sounds like poetry.

I'm gunna say that's the hormones too.

I stood up on my tiptoes to give him a kiss, which he was all too happy to return.

"We should talk." He murmured against my lips.

"What, like dirty?" I purred. Again, hormones. I can't stress this enough, guys.

He pressed his lips into a thin smile, "No." He replied, dropping his crutches onto the bed and lowering himself down to sit. "Like serious."

"... Well that's not as fun." I sat down next to him on the bed, knowing exactly where this conversation was headed, and feeling suddenly nervous and embarrassed. Nervbarrassed. I make up words when I'm nervbarrassed.

"I love you." He began, which is always a great way to begin. Really start out on a high note. "And I have missed you so much. And I hate that I am missing out on experiencing this with you." He said, placing his hand on my tummy again, his brow pinched into a frown, "But I do not want you to make any... sleep deprived or emotionally charged, life altering decisions."

"Like asking you to marry me." I clarified bluntly. No use beating around the bush, I guess.

He sucked in a breath and gave me a nod, "Yes. Like that."

"It's not sleep deprived or emotionally charged, Pete. I didn't ask you because I was relived that you weren't dead." My eyebrows raised and I gave him a level look, "Although I _am_."

The corner of his mouth tugged up and he slipped his hand into mine, "I can move to London, Katya. Just like we talked about."

"I don't want you to. I want to be _here_ with you. I just..." I let out a breath and frowned, "I guess things were just put into perspective for me, you know? A job's a job. But you, and this-" I flipped a hand towards my tummy, "-and us, it's irreplaceable. Which is actually the opposite of what Beyonce said. It's probably the first time we've disagreed on something."

"Right." Piotr wisely chose not to address my blathering, because he knows me well enough to leave that shit alone. "I just wanted to make sure."

"Make sure...?" I frowned, not quite sure what he was getting at.

"That you were... in a clear state of mind when you asked." He said, and I _would_ have been offended that he was alluding to my being hormonal and emotional, except he dug into his pocket and pulled out a little black velvet box, and held it out for me to take

"What- Is this- What-" I stammered, before slowly slipping the box out of his hand and popping the lid open. And then I just silently blinked at the emerald cut diamond inside. The exact same one Illyana had found in his nightstand all-those many years ago.

The Beyonce ring.

"You kept it." I breathed.

"I could never bring myself to get rid of it." Piotr explained as I gaped up at him, "Rogue says that I was subconsciously holding out hope that we would... that one day it might be useful again. Remy said I was just being cheap and that I was just going to re-gift it to Jenny- not that- we were never _there_. And I never could have given it to anyone else... it was always meant for you. If I had tried to sell it, I would never have gotten the full value out of it. It is like a car, as soon as you drive it off the lot, it drops in value."

"You're rambling."

"I am." He confirmed with a nod.

I looked back down at the ring and bit back a smile, "Is this your way of saying _yes_?"

He reached out and cupped my jaw with that gentle twinkle in his eye, "Yes. I want to marry you, too."

I leaned in and gave him a kiss, before swiftly pulling that sucker out of the box and popping it on the appropriate finger, and then going back in for some more make-out time.

"We are definitely eloping though." I breathed against his lips between kisses, "Just so we're on the same page."

Piotr grunted in response, and I get the feeling that he genuinely couldn't have cared less.

In all honesty though, I'm a little bit soured on the experience of a wedding, after planning one for the worst bridezilla ever. And Rogue.

Besides, I don't need a big fancy wedding. I just want to marry him.


End file.
